CH 81

Herwin blinked slowly. His vision was a little blurry from the fever, but he could tell at once who was in front of him.

‘It’s a dream.’

It had to be a dream because Lucia was looking at him, her cheeks flushed, her eyes full of concern.

There was no way she could be in his room right now.

Even though he knew it was a dream, he still wanted to touch Lucia, so he squeezed her hand.

He knew she was small, but her hands were tiny, too, and he couldn’t help but smile as he felt like he was touching a doll.

“……Did you really think we’d ever get married? What if I married another man?”

At that moment, Lucia, who hadn’t spoken for a while, opened her mouth.

Herwin wrinkled the bridge of his nose. This was not a pleasant question, even if it was a dream. 

“Well, then, I’m going to get you, no matter what.”

“And if I don’t come to you?”

“Then… I’ll have to wait for you to turn to me.”

After a moment of silence, Herwin took the hand that held Lucia’s and pressed it to his face.

“Lucia has been waiting for me for over a decade. Now it’s my turn.”

He didn’t mince words. 

He knew that Lucia wasn’t going to come to him right now because of what he had done.

So he would take the time and give her time to accept his feelings.

That was the conclusion he came to after a week of drinking and beating himself up.

Even in his dream, he could still feel Lucia’s soft hand on the bridge of his nose. Gingerly, Herwin kissed the back of Lucia’s hand.

The tiny hand seemed to tremble.

“I… I don’t know why you’re doing this to me now, and if it’s because you’ve mistaken friendship for love, then I’ll be abandoned by you again, and I don’t want that.”

Her voice trembled, and Herwin opened his eyes. Lucia’s head was bowed, and clear tears streamed down her face.

After a moment of silence, Herwin stood up and pulled Lucia into a hug.

Lucia buried her face in his shoulder. Feeling her soft hair brush against his cheek, he hugged her tightly around her slender waist.

“I don’t think I want to kiss my friend.”

He pulled back slowly, checking Lucia’s face. The corners of her eyes were flushed red. 

The tears that had formed in the corners of her eyes were heartbreaking. Herwin slowly kissed the corner of her eye.

“Hey, Herwin……?”

Lucia jerked away in panic, but Herwin wrapped his strong arms around her.

A light, rough sensation settled over Lucia’s face, starting at the corners of her eyes.

Her chest heaved with every breath she took, and her fingertips grew hot. 

Eventually, Herwin’s lips reached her jawline and moved down to her bare neck.

Lucia flinched at the unfamiliar sensation.

“Haa…….”

His heated breath tickled Lucia’s neck.

“You still think I consider this a friendship?”

Lucia swallowed hard at the sound of his voice, scratching at the back of his throat as if he were holding something back, and at the sight of those animalistic red eyes.

“I thought I was going to lose my mind when ……you kissed the Marquis.”

Lucia, who had been avoiding Herwin’s gaze in embarrassment, looked up at him with a shudder.

“How could you…….”

There was no one around, so how could Herwin know? 

As Lucia’s walls shook, Herwin scrunched up his face. 

Was she thinking of Bern? 

He wanted to kick him out of her little head.

Herwin cupped Lucia’s face, then moved his hand to her tiny lips.

‘This lips…….’

It was maddening that another man had taken it. He can’t give it to anyone else. 

This lips is-

‘Mine.’

Cautiously, Herwin brought his lips to Lucia’s.

The sensation of his lips against hers was too vivid to be a dream. He couldn’t control the heat that rose within him.

‘I’m craving.’

The burning thirst in his throat was unquenchable, even though it was something he had longed for.

It was his first kiss, so he didn’t know what to do, and he just pressed their dry lips together.

Lucia closed her eyes tightly as she felt Herwin’s lips move against hers.

Unlike Bern’s skillful touch, he was clumsy, but she felt a rush of exhilaration that Bern could never match.

She could hear her heartbeat clearly in her ears, and she felt herself slowly closing off from the world.

It was even more ecstatic than when Lucia imagined Bern as Herwin.

‘I shouldn’t be doing this…….’

She tried to push him away, barely holding on to her shattered sanity.

This relationship was inappropriate no matter how you looked at it. 

She was the one who had asked Bern to get engaged first, not anyone else… and now she was locking lips with another man.

This has to stop right now. But no matter how hard she tried to push him away with her trembling hands, Herwin wouldn’t budge.

Instead, he holds on tight, as if he won’t let go.

“Ha, Lucia.”

Finally, their lips parted. Lucia could barely lift her fluttering eyelids.

Herwin stared at her, his eyes feverish. His red eyes were etched with dark desire.

After a moment of staring into each other’s eyes, Lucia squeezed her eyes shut as Herwin moved toward her again.

But instead of hot breath, a heavyweight washed over her. After a while, she heard ragged breathing and opened her eyes.

Herwin had fallen asleep.

She stared at him blankly, then blushed and covered her face with her hands.

“What the hell did I do…….”

She knew she shouldn’t have done this, but part of her was hoping that Herwin would kiss her again.

Hearing Herwin’s breathing brought her back to reality.

Lucia sighed heavily and glanced over at Herwin. He had been sleeping, oblivious.

At first, she wondered if he had mistaken her for Arista, but that was a leap of faith. 

He kept calling Lucia’s name, not Arista’s, in between kisses.

She realized that Herwin really liked her.

It felt strange to face the truth she’d been avoiding and denying for fear of breaking her heart.

“But, I…….”

Knowing the truth didn’t change the reality. 

Lucia was now getting engaged to Bern.

When she thought of Bern, a pang of guilt rose.

They couldn’t love each other but promised to never do anything that will hurt one… and she had broken it.

Even if Herwin had approached her, she hadn’t been able to put it away.

A sickening feeling of disgust washed over her. Lucia frowned, unwrapping Herwin’s hands from around her waist, and she pushed him back down onto the bed, staring at him.

“If you had come to me sooner, do you think our relationship would have been different?”

The past is already gone. She couldn’t let go of the regret, imagining it in vain.

Lucia squeezed her eyes shut.

No one would ever know what had happened today if she didn’t tell anyone but herself, because Herwin would probably think it was a dream anyway.

So, she will bury her kiss with Herwin there.

“Don’t remember, Herwin. It’s all a dream.”

With that brainwashing whisper, Lucia stood up and left Herwin’s room.

Lucia’s name popped out of Herwin’s mouth, and he was left alone in the room.

* * *

“Mmmm…….”

With a groan, Herwin managed to lift his eyelids.

His body felt light. His sweaty forehead and clammy body tingled like they hadn’t in ages. 

“What day is it?”

It felt like days and days of sleep. He thought he saw Scarlett and Jerome’s faces in the distance, but it was a blur.

“Lucia…….”

Herwin said Lucia’s name without realizing it.

He had dreamed of Lucia every day when he was feverish and delirious. 

Mostly he dreamed of catching her as she tried to leave him, but once he dreamed of kissing her.

The feel of her body in his arms, the walls staring at him, the touch of her lips. It was all so clear.

Maybe he’d dreamed of Bern and Lucia kissing, and then he’d had a reaction to it and applied it to his dream.

“……Not bad.”

Even if it was just a dream, he didn’t despair. It motivated him to hold on to Lucia.

After all, he can’t let anyone else take her away from him.

“My goodness, Master, are you awake?”

He was clenching his fists and telling himself what to do when Jerome walked in.

Jerome bounced up and down, checking on Herwin.

“Do you still have a headache or something? Or do you have a fever…….”

“I’m fine now, I don’t feel a thing.”

“Ha, I’m so glad to hear that. Next time, don’t get sick. I’m all anxious because you’re sick.”

“There’s nothing to be anxious about. Thank you for taking care of me.”

“If you’re grateful, don’t drink any alcohol in the future, it’s all because of it, at least eat some snacks, don’t you think you’re weakening yourself by drinking on an empty stomach!”

After a few moments of Jerome’s tirade, Herwin stood up in disgust.

“How many days have I been laid up?”

“Well, you fell on Friday night, so… it’s been three days because today is Monday.”

“I can’t believe I’ve been sick for three days…….”

He thought it was just a minor ailment, but he had been in bed for quite a while. 

“Do you remember what happened while you were in bed?”

“Sparse. I know my mother came to visit.”

“And over the weekend, Master Henry came to see how you were doing.”

“Henry? What a peculiar thing for him to do.”

Even though they were good brothers, they were hard on each other.

They didn’t have a bad relationship, but Henry and Lucia had gotten into a fight before.

‘Henry had left in a huff.’

Herwin chuckled at the memory of Henry’s tantrum.

“I don’t think he came because he was worried about me.”

“Oh, he did say he came because he had something to say to you.”

“Well, then.”

He had a vague idea of what Henry wanted to say. 

Then, suddenly, he felt hungry.

“Have I eaten in all this time?”

“You haven’t eaten much, and I’m going to tell you to get some food right now. Is there anything you’d like to eat?”

“Anything, just the first thing that comes out.”

“Okay, I’ll do that.”

After Jerome scurried out the door, Herwin slid off the bed and looked down at his body.

His clothes were soaked with sweat from three days of fever. To wash away the sting, Herwin took off his robe.

“Ah, yes. Master.”

Just as he was about to enter the bathroom, Jerome, who had stepped outside, reappeared.

“Not only did Master Henry visit over the weekend, but so did Lady Agnes.”

“What?”

At the mention of Lucia’s name, Herwin paused.

“I thought you might want to know that, too.”

“Now, wait a minute. Lucia was here? When? I don’t remember such a thing…….”

“She came with the Mistress on Saturday. She told her to come and talk to you when you woke up, but she said she just wanted to see you.”

His heart began to race because this was so unexpected. What on earth could she be doing there? Did she know he was sick and come because she was worried? If not that, then-

“Wait, no…….”

As he was thinking about this, he remembered a dream he had about kissing Lucia. 

He thought it was more vivid than the others, but what if it was actually real and not a dream….…

Herwin blushed and covered his face with his hands, which were beginning to heat up again.

The corners of his mouth, once up, refused to go back down.