"So, how are things going on the Blood Witch front? I am not really sure what we are supposed to talk about or what has made you feel like you deserve to be near Tallia, so why don't we start with that?" I asked, trying to keep the edge out of my voice, failing miserably.
"Do not answer him," Tallia snapped and then walked over to me, nearly slamming the tea down in front of me. "I forced her to come here every day, or I went and hunted her down. I am the one that decides if she is forgiven, not you, so mind your own business! You came here to ask me something that is clearly bothering you, not to harass the people I choose as guests, and it clearly is bothering you. Do not take your frustration out on people that are working on changing!" Tallia snapped, and I looked down at my tea.
"You are right, Galio. I don't deserve to be here, and I am just as confused as what she is trying to do. I know what I did, and I deserve your anger," Xena said, and the room went silent.
Then Tallia slapped me hard upside the head, and I whirled on her, about to snap at her, but I stopped at her burning glare.
"Do you not have something to say, or do you still think that you had nothing to do with this?!" Tallia snapped, and I winced, squinting one eye. "You could have prevented that from being able to happen. You seem to have no problem loving more than one person now, and I know that you did it before. You might think that isn't fair, but nothing about any of this is fair, and she was my friend that I also ignored and betrayed! Why do you think I force her to come here every day?! Do you know how many times I have cried about what we did?!"
I didn't know what I was supposed to say to her or if there was any kind of answer that would make her feel better. I had already thought about all of this, and it was my own failure as well.
"I am sorry," I said, looking into Tallia's eyes and seeing the tears forming in them. "You are right, and I should have done something sooner. I just hope that she can forgive me one day."
Tallia sighed and then nodded, wiping at her eyes. "It will take time for either of us to ever be able to move past this. Time and understanding." She looked at Xena and sighed then, a sad smile on her face. "We all need to accept that we made mistakes and try to move forward. Constantly blaming ourselves and each other will never help anyone."
I nodded in agreement and looked at Xena with a sad smile. "We all have faults that we can't deny, and it's hard to accept the mistakes we've made, but we must try to move forward and make amends if we want to grow from this experience. I know how hard it is for both of us, but I think if we give it time, understanding, and room for forgiveness, it might not be so hard after all," I said, and then sighed, shaking my head. "I say all this, but I think that I am the only person that actually needs to hear this."
"Enough browbeating. If you want to actually start changing, then you will come at this time each day for tea. Now, you came here with something heavy on your mind," Tallia said, and I explained everything that had happened from the start of Lexi, Cancer, and my talk about the gifts until I left.
Tallia hummed at this, but Fate put up her hand. I nodded but clenched my teeth between my life to see what she would say.
"Honestly speaking, I think what Cancer did was wrong for multiple reasons, and you are well within your means to be upset. From what I understand, you came up with a real question, but Cancer took it upon herself to take advantage of the serious situation to essentially make you look bad. To make the matter worse, she used someone that is going to be one of your most valuable assets going forward," Fate said, and then she sighed. "That being said, we all know that you have had numerous one-night stands and never seen the girl again. While I am just as curious as you about Cancer's Personality change, for someone, it kind of makes sense, but in a messed up way."
Xena put her hand up next, and I tried not to scoff at this and nodded for her to go ahead. "Are you trying to say that Cancer's behavior right now is tied to how she basically cheated on Scorpio? I mean, she never actually did, but Tallia said she was using photos of you and the other women to pleasure herself. I can speak from personal experience... experience... and I know she would have wished that it was you and not one of her sex toys if all the pictures were of you and other women."
I thought about it for a moment and then continued the conversation. "Yes, that is likely the reason Cancer has been acting differently. Jealousy can be a powerful thing, and I think this is what she was feeling, maybe. But I just don't know. She said that she approved of Lexi, so I don't know if it is jealousy, and she has no problem with any of the goddesses. It might be just that she feels responsible for keeping me on track with all of you because she is essentially the highest tier of a goddess. Again, this is all speculation, and I really have no fucking clue what is up with her."
Fate nodded and looked thoughtful for a moment. "I think it is important to remember that jealousy is not always about the other person. It can be about what we feel we are missing or have lost, or even anger at ourselves. In Cancer's case, I suspect she is upset because of this situation with Lexi and how it has made her feel like she isn't doing enough to help you. She likely feels like she is failing in her job as your protector and friend, and that frustration could come out in the form of jealousy."
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