Chapter 218 Gloria's Thoughts

While Alan was resting in his room, he took some time to contemplate his new sexual relationship with Glory.

Man! I still can't get over what's happening to me. I get that there's a kind of a cascade effect. I'm sure that nothing would have EVER happened with Ms. Rhymer, er, I mean Glory, if it weren't for my sexual success here at home. I used to be too shy and passive. I was the classic "nice guy" that girls want as a friend but not a lover. But then I changed, and I'm sure Glory noticed. I can't see myself like others see me, but I'm sure I must radiate a kind of sexual confidence and even a swagger.

Plus, I've learned that fortune favors the brave. That should be my new motto. I wasn't passive with her. For instance, the way I deliberately misunderstood her offer to let me masturbate in her classroom by unzipping my fly and boldly grasping my boner in plain sight. The old me would have never, ever, ever thought of doing that! In fact, it's possible that I could have even MORE sexual success if I was bolder still. Not that I need it. He chuckled to himself. Life is perfect!

But the question is, what is the nature of my relationship with my foxy teacher now? Where are we headed?! Obviously, she can't be my girlfriend in any way, shape or form. We can't dare to be seen together in public anywhere, because there's no telling who might see. We're probably going to be limited to secret trysts in her classroom for a good while to come. And I gotta say that works out pretty damn well for me. If I did see her outside of class, I'd soon run into problems, considering my other lovers.

But what about the long term?! Is this just a flash in the pan thing between us?! I sure as hell hope not! God knows that I lust for her, big time! But my feelings run much deeper than that. She has a special place in my heart. I hope she feels the same, and I kind of think that she does. She wouldn't be taking such a big risk with me if it was just going to be for a week or a month. Due to the taboo and the danger, just getting together at all is a major commitment for both of us!

So... if we do get really serious, then what?! She knows I have other lovers, thank God, but will she be able to accept that? Somehow, I seriously doubt it. It's different with my lovely ladies here at home because they all know of each other already. But Glory, it's like she's on her own island. It's best if I'm honest that I do have other lovers, but without mentioning any details whatsoever. Probably the best I can hope for is that she just accepts that state of affairs eventually.

And how awesome is that?! Not only am I getting it on with the sexiest teacher in school, but she's just ONE of my lovers! I'm so blessed, man. I don't know what I did to deserve this, but dang! I still don't believe in God, but someone sure seems to be smiling down on me!

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Around the time Alan was contemplating his relationship with Glory, she was contemplating her relationship with him. But she was going about it a different way, and putting more thought into it.

Glory had had a difficult day, due to her worries about her new intimacy with Alan. She'd planned to break up with Garth right away, but when Garth met her for lunch, she chickened out of doing so. She didn't have the heart to do it, because he was a genuinely nice guy and he hadn't done anything wrong. Also, she felt her relationship with Alan was still too new and unstable. Would they even last a week?

So, that evening, instead of going on a date with Garth as they usually did on Saturday nights, she blew him off and stayed in her apartment alone. She ended up masturbating to thoughts of sex with Alan for quite a while, and it felt great. But once it was over and she came down from her orgasmic high, her doubts came roaring back, and with renewed force.

She went to her computer and sat down to write a letter to herself, in order to sort out her thoughts in organized fashion. She wore her clothes loosely to maintain the naughty and sexy feeling she'd had when she'd been masturbating. She wrote:

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Things are so fucked up that I don't know where to begin. I wish I had someone I could talk to about what's happened between Alan and me, but who could I tell?! I can't tell a soul, because the danger is too great. Even if I just tell one friend, she's probably going to think that it's okay to just tell one friend, and so on, until word gets around. Then my ass will get fired! I can't even talk about it with Alan, because I need someone with an objective, outsider's point of view. So, even though I'm not the diary-writing type, I feel I have no choice but to write this. Maybe I'll gain some new clarity or resolve.

I've been a wreck all day. I can't stop thinking about Alan! Damn, he makes me so hot! It's like I'm going to need to start wearing a diaper, because my pussy is leaking constantly! All that really happened was that I gave him a blowjob, and yet I don't know if I've ever been this sexually excited! It's like there's some kind of special spark between us. Even his kisses excite and thrill me more than any other kiss I can remember. Maybe there's some kind of special chemistry between us? I hear there's been some research on that. I remember reading somewhere that kissing is nature's way of testing to see if there's a complementary mix of genes to make excellent offspring. If there is, some kind of chemical or biological thing makes the kiss hot and intense.

Just my luck! I find the one guy who totally rocks my world, and he happens to be one of my students! UGH! What good does that do me, or him? I'm nine years older than him, for crying out loud! It seems like this is ill-fated, if not outright doomed, right from the start. What have I gotten myself into?!

Is there even the slightest chance that Alan could be "the one?" That's the big question. It's true that he's a very nice guy. Kind-hearted, and smart too. He's always smiling and friendly, and I've never seen him get angry or have a bad word to say about someone. We get along like a house on fire! We could talk and talk for hours. We have a lot in common, despite our age difference. I may be nine years older than him but it doesn't feel that way because he's uncommonly mature for his age.

And, crucially, he knows how to light my fire! We've only been intimate once, but I can just tell from that that it's like our bodies are meant for each other. It's just going to get better and better as we learn the ins and outs of each other's bodies. I can hardly wait! I love how he's so confident and aggressive, like the way he went straight to getting my clothes off after we'd only been kissing for a minute or two. He's going to be a raging fuck beast, I just know it!

So he's kind of like the anti-Garth. No, that's not true. He's got all the good qualities of Garth: kind, good-hearted, smart, fun to be with, and so on, plus he's got the sexual fire and aggressiveness that Garth lacks. What a winning combination!

But there are problems too, big problems. Obviously, the age difference, and the student-teacher taboo. But maybe even worse than both of this is that he's already taken, apparently several times over. The worst is that he's having sex with Suzanne Pestridge! How the hell am I supposed to compete with her?! I can't demand that he stop seeing her, because if I were in his shoes and had to choose between her and me, I'd choose her. I've known for a long time now that he loves her more than most kids love their mothers, AND she's drop-dead gorgeous, AND apparently she fucks as good as she looks! Why he even has a big crush on me with her as a next door neighbor is a mystery.

But, as bad as that is, apparently there are "others" too. I know about Kim, but "others" means plural. So he's got at least THREE other lovers, maybe more! I wouldn't be surprised if one of them is Amy. That would make sense for a lot of reasons, including proximity. She's gorgeous too! Chances are, he's not going to be willing to be monogamous with me, or anyone else. Why should he, if he's enjoying four or more lovers at once, including me? Besides, he can claim he needs multiple lovers due to his "medical treatment." If you ask me, everything about that smells like ripe bullshit, but I don't have any way to prove it.

Anyway, if you look at the nine-year age difference, the student-teacher problem, and the other-lovers problem, it's plain as day that we're doomed. What long-term future is there for us?! Am I just setting myself up for heartbreak down the line, the more I get to know him and maybe even fall in love with him? Probably. Hell, almost certainly.

But then again... damn! He lights my fire! In fact, he turns it into a blazing inferno! Now that we've crossed this line that no teacher should ever cross, how can I turn back?! I want to explore this, and see where we go. Life is too short to play it safe. I want to have brain-melting, Earth-shattering sex for once in my life, and I feel like he's the one to give it to me. I don't know how or why, maybe it's just the danger of it all, but he makes me so WET!

I think my best bet is to let whatever happens with him happen, but be careful and guarded with my heart. I should treat it like we're friends that have turned into sex friends. That way, I won't get so hurt when the end inevitably comes. The fact that we're unable to meet except secretly in my class might prove to be a good thing, because we won't get much of a chance to get romantic. We can both ride the sexual thrill ride. What's wrong with that? Not every lover needs to be the possible next "Mr. Right." As the saying goes, sometimes a girl just needs "Mr. Right Now." It's hard to believe that my nerdy teacher's pet turns out to be that guy, but I think he is!

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When she was done with her letter, she felt much better. She didn't print it out for fear that Garth might find it in her apartment, but it was saved on her computer, secured with a password if she ever felt like rereading it to reassure herself.

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