Chapter 186：

Zhang Ruixin slowly recalled some past events. Those past events are like a huge scar growing on him with a layer of scab. If you don't tear it apart, it may be healing, or you may be deceiving yourself to think it is healing.

However, once it is torn apart, it is a piercing pain, but you can clearly see what the wound inside the scar looks like?

Counting this up, it should be seven or eight years old.

At that time, he was still a stupefied boy, full of enthusiasm, because of the hard work of his grandparents and fathers, he lived a relaxed life at home.

He has never been a comfortable boy. He was just graduating and full of energy, so he wanted to find something to do.

From a very young age, he was busy with family affairs, but these things were commonplace to him, so he secretly went to the country, a country far away from home.

He went to the countryside to see the life in the countryside, and wanted to become stronger and more powerful. He was considered an educated youth, but he was different from the educated youth who went to the countryside.

The village he was in was very big, with many people, and many educated youths from outside. On the first day of his arrival, only an old party secretary took him around to get familiar with the terrain.

Because he came in through family relations, he was very concerned by the village leaders.

It is precisely because of this that many people disliked him during the two days after he arrived, because others thought he came in through the back door, but it was because the children of the rich family experienced the boring life of the poor.

In those few days, except for the leader of the team who spoke to him, other people, especially the educated youths from outside, liked to reject him, even together with the younger generation in the village to reject him.

At that time, I was also full of blood, disdainful or even contemptuous of these people's actions, they were unwilling to play with themselves, and they were too lazy to play with them.

The contradiction escalated during the Dragon Boat Festival, when the old party secretary brought him something from his home. Some people saw it and thought it was something from the village. Only he, a foreign "educated youth," had it, but others didn't. This is a prejudice.

Those people were also talking these things secretly. He didn't know at first, but when he went back, he accidentally collided with a person, and the conflict broke out. The other party hated him as a young man. It was enough to go home and enjoy the day. Don't come here. Ashamed, he said that he was still a half-year-old boy at an impulsive age. When someone said that, he was naturally unhappy in his heart, and finally he fought with the other party after the argument.

Young people are always impulsive, and can ignore them when they fight.

At that time, some leaders came out to defend him, and others said it was partiality.

And when the two sides quarreled fiercely, the girl came out, stood directly in front of him, and cursed at the group of people who were fighting with him: "What's the matter with you bullying someone alone? In the end, it's just that. I am jealous of his good family and good abilities. Besides, those things were sent to him by his family. If you don’t believe it, you can check it yourself. If you bully someone, this is considered a capitalist behavior. Be hostile to a compatriot. Point the finger at your own people, do you think this is right?"

"You just feel that you are inferior to him, not enough to be welcomed by the leader, and not as good as his family background, so that you will make this kind of rejection. You are also people who go to the countryside. I am ashamed of you."

The young girl's utterly loud words, the few unconvincing men in front of her dared to be angry but did not dare to speak. Those words, the leader said that it was inappropriate, and he said it was also inappropriate, but the girl said it made them feel ashamed.

The others who have never spoken have also joined the girls’ camp, saying that they are individualistic and not conducive to social development. Although it is not a crime to exclude compatriots, it is not a good behavior.

The accusations of the crowd made those who rejected him dare not speak any more.

In the following days, although many people still couldn't understand his behavior, they didn't dare to speak any more.

And he also knew the girl who made her debut, a female educated youth who was one year younger than himself, who had just arrived in the countryside-Lin Chutong, a nice name.

He didn't expect that among so many people, the first young man to happen to him was the girl who had just arrived.

She said that her family was in the north and it was a beautiful ancient city, but the conditions in her family were not very good. She had two older brothers. Because it was not convenient to go to the countryside because they were married, she took the initiative to go to the countryside to share with the family and learn more.

The seventeen-year-old girl is at the age of Huaji. She is good-looking and lively. Although the two people are in different cities, they have the same ideas and thoughts.

She is a girl who loves to study. Although she only went to junior high school, she taught herself a lot of knowledge in high school. She said that although she can't go to college now, she wants to know more knowledge. Life without knowledge is incomplete.

He said that he went to high school and also learned a lot of college content.

With his help, she learned more, and the two people have the same three views. Over time, simple friendship has transformed into love.

He felt that it was natural to fall in love with her, because she had many characteristics that he liked, which attracted him deeply.

The relationship between the two grew stronger and stronger, and finally agreed to each other for a lifetime, saying that after he returned home, he would talk to his family about their marriage.

At that time, he felt very passionate about love. No one could have predicted that he would be crazy about love, especially after the other party was willing to give himself to him, he said that he would go home immediately and talk about their marriage.

He thought that happiness was right in front of his eyes, and he had the ability to give her a beautiful family and free her from the current difficult environment.

Unexpectedly, she didn't want him to go home and tell his family about all this now.

He didn't know so much at the time, so what did his beloved say? But I didn't expect that what was waiting was news of her leaving.

That day, he went to the town with the captain and took the ruo leaves picked from the village to a remote county. It took two days to delay halfway.

From there to back, he spent some time in order to buy a nice pendant for her, but when he came back he found that she was nowhere to be found, and she was gone.

At first he thought that she was busy with something, but he asked everyone and said that he didn't know where she was, but when he went to the educated youth spot, he found out that he had moved everything. Gone, there was nothing left.

It is difficult for an educated youth to return to the city. He remembers her saying that her family conditions are not good, and the chance of going back after going to the countryside is very slim. Unless the above policies come down, he also told her at that time, as long as she is willing to marry him, go back to the city. It is very easy. But at that time, she said she would educate more and stay in this rural area for a while. She agreed to her, but she disappeared.

He had looked for her frantically, but she was nowhere to be seen, she seemed to have disappeared suddenly, and could never be found again.

In order to be able to find her, he also specifically asked his grandfather to go there. Grandpa has a strong network, even if he is in other cities, he can help. However, he went to her city and found her home, but she was never there. News, even her family said they didn’t know where she went.

A person, who has been so young from this world, disappeared without a trace, and this person can't be found in any way.

He was desperate.

At that time, he drank and smoked every day, and broke his body, as if hurting himself was punishing the other party, making him feel bad, and then she would appear.

However, no matter how much she tossed, she just had no news again.

He didn't understand, because he could still say love to him yesterday, and the person who turned his face disappeared.

Someone told him that he must have done something sorry for himself, so he chose to leave. He had done this malicious speculation, but he was thinking again, which Lin Chutong he knew was not such a person, she There must be something unspeakable, but no one knows what it is.

That happened very quickly, not many people knew about it. Although Grandpa knew about it, no one told it, and neither did his parents.

"Ruimin should have heard of it by accident!" After the memory, Zhang Ruixin seemed to be covered with indescribable sadness.

Qin Lingling met such a third brother for the first time. He was very high-spirited. Like a domineering president, he was strategizing about everything. He would never be difficult to get him. Sometimes when he was in a good mood, he would talk to others. Smiling.

Details Zhang Ruixin didn't say too much, but he thought that the younger sister in front of him should understand.

He said, "In some ways, you are very similar to her. When I look at you, I think of him, a tough and lively girl, but you are different."

Although Qin Lingling didn't know where she was the same as Lin Chutong in the third brother's mouth, Qin Lingling felt sorry for him when she saw her sad.

"But why do you say she is dead? Have you looked for her all these years?"

Zhang Ruixin looked up at her, perhaps he had already told the secret in his heart, so he no longer kept Qin Lingling from it.

"Well, I looked for it."

After returning home, he was addicted to work. For two or three years, he had been using exhausting work to forget such a person, and forget that beautiful but heavy and painful memory.

But after going through the hard work, he found that when he was dead at night, he would still think of her and think of all those bits and pieces.

He didn't know if he was still in love with her, because she was not in front of him, and only memories accompanied him. These memories had been entwining him, making him unwilling to admit that he was abandoned by others.

He wanted to find the truth, and he did find it. In her home, nearby places, as long as he heard of a girl who was similar in length, he would make people inquire about him. He has been growing his career and knowing more about it. On the one hand, the person who does not want to make money, he wants to find her, even if he no longer loves, and does not want to be with him, he also wants to ask, "Why leave?"

As long as he is given a reasonable reason, he can stop pestering him. He is not the kind of stalker, and he has his own self-esteem if he loves another person.

After searching for so many years, I did find a lot of things about her. Later, when I saw her parents in her hometown again, the answer they gave him was that she was married and already had her own family. The life he wants, let him not bother.

He didn't believe it when he heard the news. He asked her family about the place where she was married, and at least gave him an address so that he could find her, met her, and confirmed it before he could give up.

However, the Lin family did not give him an address, and even the answer to this "marriage" is so false, like a big lie, the purpose is to hide him.

After so many years, he still has no news of him, and she has never returned home, until he heard that the Lin family’s parents went to worship someone on an unnamed monument. Which monument does not have a name, some are just Lin’s mother. Tears.

When he finally saw Mother Lin, he suddenly understood why she never appeared again for so many years, because she had no chance to appear in front of him again. As for why, he didn't dare to ask and couldn't ask, no one. Will answer him.

After speaking, Zhang Ruixin took a deep breath and then spit it out happily. When he looked at Qin Lingling, his eyes trembled.

"She's dead." After the memory, he spit out these words gently, as if exhausting his entire life.

Although no one wants to tell him personally that the wordless monument belongs to her, he really can't think of any reason to make her go so resolutely.

Sometimes he thought, he would rather she love vanity, or change her heart and leave him, so that she can continue to live.

Qin Lingling doesn't know what to say? Seeing him so uncomfortable, I wanted to hug him, but I was afraid of touching his deeper emotions, so I could only stay with him quietly without talking.

Probably because I felt that I had expressed too much emotion today, Zhang Ruixin was only sad for a while, and quickly recovered the third brother Qin Lingling knew at the beginning, and said to her: "These things have passed, and I am not. A person who only looks back on the past and doesn’t look forward, don’t worry, but occasionally think about what happened during that period of time."

Seeing such a "sensible" third brother, Qin Lingling felt even more distressed.

She smiled and nodded at him, "Third brother, don't worry, you still have us, the unhappy things are over, let’s look at the money to make a lot of money, there are many good girls around me, when the time comes I will introduce you a few more, you will definitely like it."

Faced with her kindness, Zhang Ruixin smiled and said: "This is the task that grandpa gave you, right?"

"No, I mean it."

"Well, I will introduce to the third brother at that time."

"OK!"

The two said some light things. Those sad past events seemed to have disappeared, but they all knew that the existing wounds always existed, and even if they were healed, there were scars.