Rienne closed her eyes.
That moment was very dear to her as well.
Though she had lived in the wide open Castle Nauk since she was very young, it did not feel like a home. It was too big and empty.
It was only after Black came in and filled that empty void that the castle started to feel full again. Like a real home.
Rienne reached out, tugging the hem of Black’s clothing with a trembling hand.
[Rienne] “Is that……even possible?”
[Black] “It is. If you want it, Princess.”
[Rienne] “I…..Even if I wanted it, I would have no right. I still can’t allow you to hurt the Kleinfelders…..”
[Black] “I have no interest in killing them for revenge.”[Rienne] “But how is that possible? Your father was killed right in front of your eyes. And your name was stripped from you for so long.”
[Black] “I desire a home more than that. If giving up revenge is a way of getting that, it’s a simple choice for me.”
[Rienne] “…..That can’t be. You….can’t….”
[Black] “What makes you so certain?”
Black smiled.
[Black] “Imagine you’re eight years old, Princess. You have nothing left and your entire body is in pain, but you can’t stop moving because you’re terrified someone might be right behind you, hunting you down.”
[Rienne] “. . .”
[Black] “You’re so hungry and cold that you end up coming down with a fever. And as your body trembles and shakes, you start to pointlessly imagine things. In that moment, what do you think you would want the most?”
She couldn’t answer.
Rienne had never suffered such an ordeal, so she wasn’t qualified to answer his question.
[Black] “At that point, more than anything, all I wanted was a home.”
[Rienne] “……I……”
Rienne took a step forward, burying her face in Black’s chest. She wanted to look up at him and see his face, but at the same time she didn’t. She was afraid if she looked at him now, it would be too easy to see his eight year old self.
[Rienne] “If I still can’t believe in you……what would happen then?”
[Black] “I don’t know……..But it probably won’t make much of a difference.”
Black lifted up his hand, gently stroking Rienne’s head. As he did, he lowered his head, his mouth tensing. Then, he spoke softly with his lips against her ear.
[Black] “You promised you would accept me, Princess.”
[Rienne] “But I may not be able to, no matter how hard I try.”
[Black] “No. You said you would. So starting today, both you and I will return to that moment, Princess. You will sleep in the same bed as me and once you open your eyes, you’ll have to accept the kisses I give you.”
[Rienne] “And if I still can’t trust you?”
[Black] “I can wait. While we live together, if nothing happens by the time you become a grandmother, then you’ll be able to believe in me.”
[Rienne] “. . .”
Hearing such words coming from him, she could hold back her tears anymore.
Rienne wrapped her arms around Black in a hug. And in response, Black held Rienne’s body close to his, kissing her on the top of her head.
[Rienne] “A grandmother……You’re thinking too far ahead.”
[Black] “All humans grow old.”
[Rienne] “Still……..I hate thinking about that already.”
[Black] “Is that so?”
With a careful and gentle motion, Black nestled his face against the soft hair atop Rienne’s head.
[Black] “It makes me happy to hear you hate something, Princess.”
She said she didn’t like it when he asked for permission before kissing her, and now she was telling him to stop imagining her as an old lady so early on.
Like a quiet and comfortable quarrel between a pair of passionate yet endearing lovers.
[Rienne] “…….I feel the same.”
[Black] “I haven’t said I hate anything.”
[Rienne] “I know. But……….I’m happy.”
I’m happy that you don’t hate anything about me.
She told him to keep his most hated enemy alive, and that she would eventually give birth to a child that would share such wretched blood, but that wasn’t enough to make him hate her.
It didn’t make any sense, so she ended up doubting him to the point of completely turning everything upside down. But still, he didn’t feel any contempt towards her.
She felt such deep shame, but she also felt so happy.
Black seemed to understand the words Rienne kept deep inside. He pulled back from her suddenly, only to just as quickly swallow her lips.
The kiss that seemed to sting upon her lips was frighteningly sweet.
*
* * *
*
[Rienne] “It’s a good thing I took your advice, ma’am.”
Rienne took her hands off the hem of Black’s wedding attire.
The hem needed to be adjusted and embroidered quite a bit, but Mrs. Flambard insisted that they should use more expensive fabric on it because it would work well as a gift.
Looking at the finished product, she was amazed at how well it turned out.
[Mrs. Flambard] “Doesn’t the embroidery look so much better like this? Of course it does. Well done, Princess.”
[Rienne] “It looks wonderful.”
Rienne’s cheeks naturally blushed for a moment, imagining how well Black would look wearing these clothes.
[Mrs. Flambard] “Did something good happen, Princess?”
[Rienne] “Ah, sorry?”
Her thoughts were a bit all over the place, causing Rienne to look back at Mrs. Flambard with a confused expression.
[Rienne] “Something good? Why do you ask?”
[Mrs. Flambard] “Your complexion looks very different from this morning.”
[Rienne] “Oh…..”
It was a bit awkward……knowing it was showing on her face so obviously.
[Rienne] “That’s because…..I think the misunderstandings have been resolved.”
[Mrs. Flambard] “There was a misunderstanding, Princess?”
As the woman’s face quickly changed, Rienne realized she must’ve taken her words differently.
[Rienne] “No, not with us, ma’am…….I mean with Lord Tiwakan.”
[Mrs. Flambard] “Oh……? Did you really? Then, if the situation has been resolved……..”
[Rienne] “Yes.”
Turning her gaze slightly away, there was a shy smile on Rienne’s face.
[Rienne] “Lord Tiwakan has no intention of taking revenge. I didn’t believe him at first, but it made more sense when he explained it to me.”
[Mrs. Flambard] “Is that so? Can you believe something so grand…..simply by taking his word for it?”
[Rienne] “That was why he was hiding it. He must’ve known that words alone wouldn’t be enough.”
[Mrs. Flambard] “Oh, so that’s what happened. Did the old man who was brought to the castle tell you something helpful?”
[Rienne] “That’s…..”
Thinking about the old man, there were still a few things that didn’t make any sense.
He said it was the Arsak family, not the Kleinfelders, who were the source of the revenge that would lead to bloodshed. He said it was because of the drought, but it felt like he was talking around the truth.
But looking at things more rationally, she wondered if it was even possible for such a sick and begging old man to know the truth of what the Kleinfelders had done.
Perhaps the old man was only privy to the fact that the Henton family was wiped out and only their youngest son managed to escape the carnage.
Maybe he was an acquaintance or a distant relative of the Henton family? It was possible he was simply turning to blame others because he couldn’t bring himself to accept the truth of what happened. There were people like that who existed.
[Rienne] “Yes. He remembered Lord Tiwakan’s old name.”
[Mrs. Flambard] “Oh my. So he really was from Nauk?”
[Rienne] “Yes.”
[Mrs. Flambard] “Then, the talks of the engagement with you, Princess………”
[Rienne] “I don’t think those conversations were ever made official. They likely weren’t a well-known family, so perhaps they were only hoping for a betrothal……Hm. Maybe that’s how they managed to attract the ire of the Kleinfelders.”
[Mrs. Flambard] “Excuse me? Did you say the Kleinfelders?”
[Rienne] “I think the Kleinfelders were responsible for the destruction of the Henton family.”
[Mrs. Flambard] “Henton……?”
[Rienne] “Yes. That was Lord Tiwakan’s family. Do you know of them?”
[Mrs. Flambard] “No, I don’t…..but they sound strangely familiar. Henton……..I wonder if my son might know. Ever since he was young, he had a knack for memorizing every little thing.”
[Rienne] “Oh, you mentioned before he was in the Kingdom of Sharka?”
[Mrs. Flambard] “Yes, he went to go study there. He said he would become a scholar and do some research using royal grants. I’m sure he doesn’t ever dream of returning to Nauk now. My son likely intends to die as a citizen of the Kingdom of Sharka.”
[Rienne] “…….You must miss him a lot.”
[Mrs. Flambard] “All children are like that. Most men do not regard the place they were born as a home, but would rather go out and find a place of their own.”
[Rienne] “Is that so?”
Hearing those words filled her with a strange feeling.
When that man told her that she was the closest thing he had to the home he desired, a conflicting sensation of warmth and pain spread through her.
It was like he was saying that after wandering for so long with such an injured and exhausted body, that she was his destination. Those words were so heavy and they meant so much.
……..But what about me?
Meanwhile, she’d been lying to that man this whole time just to protect what was hers.
[Mrs. Flambard] “But Princess, I don’t quite understand.”
Though they fell off topic for a moment talking about her son, the conversation was quickly brought back to its original place.
[Mrs. Flambard] “If House Kleinfelder is his enemy, then aren’t his intentions behind why he proposed to you too obvious? And the child…….He must know it’s part of the Kleinfelder bloodline.”
[Rienne] “I know what you’re thinking. I had the exact same thought.”
[Mrs. Flambard] “Was that not his intent?”
[Rienne] “He said he didn’t want to lose me because of revenge.”
[Mrs. Flambard] “That’s….”
[Rienne] “I told him that the Kleinfelders could not die. If that happened, the other nobles wouldn’t stand idly by and Nauk would be torn in half by the ensuing war.”
[Mrs. Flambard] “……..Then you should tell him.”
Listening carefully to Rienne’s explanation, the woman spoke firmly.
[Rienne] “What do you mean?”
[Mrs. Flambard] “Tell him you were never pregnant with a child of the Kleinfelders.”
[Rienne] “Oh……”
[Mrs. Flambard] “Say it now, Princess. That way, you’ll be able to concretely know what he is thinking. If he is willing to set aside his grudges for you, Princess, then he will simply be happy to know you are not having a child, no?”
She wasn’t wrong.
[Mrs. Flambard] “But on the other hand, if he truly wished to bring harm to the child, then his true nature would then be revealed.”
[Rienne] “……You’re right.”
But there was still something that was weighing on her heart.
After she told him, he’d know she’d been lying to him this entire time………He would probably feel disappointed or even betrayed.
[Mrs. Flambard] “And even ignoring all of that, it’s quite the blow to him. Imagine how he must feel, setting aside such an intense hatred for that family just for your sake, Princess. And if he really cares for you, then aren’t the other emotions he must endure even more painful? Being forced to raise the child of his enemy as his own? It’s too horrible to even think about.”
[Rienne] “You’re very right. I’m doing something truly awful to him.”
[Mrs. Flambard] “So tell the truth as soon as possible.”
[Rienne] “…Yes. I think that would be best.”
The woman patted Rienne on the back of her hand, showing a face that expressed relief that she had finally made her choice.
[Mrs. Flambard] “Yes, please do it. I’m sure it will go well.”
[Rienne] “I know.”
She felt a little worried……..but she had to say it. She had to.
That man was doing something that no other man could easily do. Even if he kept saying it was fine, that didn’t mean it wasn’t hard.
Steeling her heart, Rienne nodded her head.
Then, she and Mrs. Flambard carefully wrapped up the wedding attire that they had finished last minute, putting a clean cloth around it and tucking it away in a closet, getting ready for the night.
*
* * *
*
[Mrs. Flambard] “Why are you taking out another blanket, Princess?”
Rienne paused at the sudden question curiously posed by the woman.
It was a very uncomfortable question.
[Rienne] “Ah, well……….We decided to sleep in the same bed starting from today.”
[Mrs. Flambard] “Excuse me?”
[Rienne] “It’s a bit complicated to explain…….But…..There is a reason for it.”
It would be too hard to explain and even harder to understand all the promises that were involved in this.
It wasn’t because she was embarrassed or too ashamed to say it. It was just that she and Black shared a tower of emotions with each other. It would be unreasonable to suddenly point to the top and ask someone to understand when they hadn’t seen the process of building it.
[Rienne] “Lord Tiwakan in no way covets my body, so you don’t need to worry about that, ma’am.” (1)
[Mrs. Flambard] “No, that’s not what I meant.”
The woman shook her head nervously.
[Mrs. Flambard] “What right do I have to nag those who have already arranged their marriage about sharing a bed? I only thought to mention that you are presently dealing with your monthly visitor right now, Princess, so it might be better to avoid sleeping together.”
[Rienne] “Ah…..”
With the unexpected reminder of the equally unexpected problem, Rienne frowned.[Rienne] “I’m in no pain because of the medicine, so it must’ve slipped my mind.”
[Mrs. Flambard] “Oh dear.”
[Rienne] “What should I do?”
After thinking about it for a moment, Mrs. Flambard nodded her head.
[Mrs. Flambard] “Actually, this works out perfectly for you. You are going to tell him everything tonight. Say that you are not pregnant, and that everything was simply due to your time of the month.”
[Rienne] “Oh….I suppose I should.”
I don’t think I’m mentally prepared for that.
But I shouldn’t delay any longer……..Right?
* * *
T/N: (1) The raws use the exact terminology of ‘stealing’ her body, i.e forcing himself on her.