52 Hopi's Rage

\tOne week before Doevm defeated three Elven squads at once…

"Breath in, breath out." Hopi recited this over to himself several times to calm the rage he felt for his squad members. He couldn't even stand in the same room as them without wanting to throw them off the base. He knew, however, that most of his rage was unnecessary. The men in the base were not the same as the ones who killed his family. They were just a little prejudice, not without redemption. He leaned on the wooden railing and winced. His hands were covered from constant blisters. He had been healed by that poor deformed kid in the medical wing, Oliver, but he wasn't so selfish as to keep relying on him. He stared out into the forest, hoping that his rage would be hidden by the darkness.

\t"Hopi," Someone called out. He turned around with his hands on his spear only to see it was Doevm, the new squad leader. Hopi released his grip and saluted his new squad leader. "You weren't at practice today."

\t"I was cooling off." Hopi recited the same lines he fed to Wade. He just wanted to be left alone to cool down. Rage was unproductive. It had to be dispersed.

\t"I see." Doevm leaned on the railing and looked ahead into the dark as if he were searching for something. "You have been acting weird from the second I saw you. I can understand why you're angry and upset, but it can't continue like this."

\t"I know." Hopi said. "I just needed to cool off, so I don't blow my lid on the soldiers. We need to be a squad. My anger has no purpose there."

\t"What?" Doevm wiped his head to Hopi. "That's a bunch of crap. I want your rage. I want you to be motivated like you have been." He grabbed Hopi's hands. "Look at these marks. You've been training hard so you could impress everyone right? Do you want to show them that an Elf can be as good as a person, or do you want to prove that you're better than everyone else?"

\t"I want to show them that I matter." Hopi said, pulling his hands away. "I can be just as valuable as them. Why do they alienate me? Why do a different set of ears and blood make me so different from them? Just thinking about it I just get so…" He gripped the railing and took some deep breaths. "Angry."

\t"That feeling you have, to avoid acting on anger, is an Elven trait." Doevm began. "Elves are a very proud race. They do not act on emotions, but they have trouble suppressing their feelings. Tell me, do you think you are an Elf or a human?"

\t"I-I," Hopi stuttered out at the unexpected question. "I guess I think of myself as an Elf."

\t"Wrong." Doevm said. He pulled out his spear and set it against the wooden railing. "Look at these two types of wood. My spear's shaft is red while the railing is brown. They are both wood, but different."

\t"Elves are one type of wood and humans are another?"

\t"Correct." Doevm cut off a piece of the railing and held it next to the spear. "This chunk of wood is not the railing anymore even though it is still the same wood." He held it next to his spear. "Obviously I can't cut off a chunk of my spear but imagine that I did. I hold the two pieces together, and that would be you. The truth is that you are neither human nor Elf. You will never be completely accepted by either race unless you spend a lot of time to change their views. They both view you as an outsider. Some poets would push a bunch of lies and say you are apart of both worlds. You are a magical bridge that connects two species. Those poets are spouting lies." Doevm tossed the chunk of railing into the darkness. "You will live a hard life simply because of your blood. This anger you are feeling will never go away because it will always have a source."

\t"Then what do I do?" Hopi asked. He had known Doevm for years and trusted this was leading to somewhere. Every guard in the Virility household respected his opinion.

\t"There is a race of people far from here called Savages." Doevm cut out another chunk from the railing. "They will look at you not as a person, but how well you can fight. It doesn't matter if you were apart from them or what race you are as long as you can fight. I'm not telling you to go there, I'm telling you about their culture. They are a race that also deals with anger, but in a more constructive manner. Their name is misleading. In truth, they are an amazingly advanced culture that has near perfect mental health across their nation. One of there methods for handling anger is to use it. Anger, in their eyes, is a source of power. If you rely on it, you will fall, that is true. However, if you use it as a motivation, it can be productive." He glanced at Hopi's hands. "You practice venting out anger, but that's not enough."

\t"Then what should I do with it?" Hopi asked. "Practice is the only thing I can think of."

\t"I have a mission for you." Doevm said. "For the next week I want you to go around and find things. This base is a remnant of the Elves. Their traps should be found around here, but they will be hard to find. We will be in this forest for a year, it is wise to adapt to their methods to survive here. I not only want their traps, but I also need to know how they traverse the forest and make quick weapons. I believe with your senses; you alone will be able to do this. I will give you permission to pass the guards using my new status."

\t"And how will this use my anger in a constructive way?" Hopi blew on his burning hands to keep the constant pain down.

\t"This is the first step." Doevm turned around. "First, you need the squad to accept you, meaning you have to prove yourself. I'm not talking about instilling fear in them as you did in practice. I'm talking about doing something constructive for the team. Next, when they have accepted you, your rage will subside down to a controllable level. The second and final step is to drill your methods into our squad. You will have to remain calm as you teach them the methods of Elves. Your anger will be used as motivation so that you have enough energy to teach every person. Then, when humans have learned "your people's" way, they will realize that Elves aren't as bad as they thought they were. Then, you will be accepted." Doevm brought out the piece of wood Hopi thought he had thrown away and placed it back to its original spot. "And your anger will be gone. Also, you won't be at practice for a while. Try to think up of some excuses. I don't want anyone to know of this."

\tIn the next week, Hopi gathered as much intel as he could on his people's methods. He asked Doevm for advice and places to look. He could only give him general descriptions, but Hopi didn't give up. He learned how to use hooks to climb trees, how to weave snares, and even found some spears that Elves had used to penetrate the Manticores' thick skins. All this information the told Doevm. Then, when the day came for Hopi to use all of it, he instructed the squad on what to do. Even though Doevm was the one who showed the squad, he gave all credit to Hopi. The snares, spears, and way to traverse the trees were all absorbed by the men, who then looked differently at Hopi. Hidden in their prejudiced eyes were hints of admiration. He went from being unable to see them as people to the same way he looked at his fellow guards of the Virility household.

\t'Doevm, how did you know this would work?' Hopi thought. 'Did all the books in the library teach you this? I think I want to go see this race of 'Savages', as they don't seem to match their term at all.' Then, when the squad left their spears, snares, and supplies behind, he got confused. 'Why are we doing this? Weren't we making those weapons to go fight the squads above us? Why learn the methods if we aren't going to use them?'

\tAfter ten minutes of the march, Doevm said, "I really Hopi we will come back to our rations soon." Those words rang like church bells in Hopi's head. In the two years they served together, Doevm came up with a system to use code disguised as normal talk. Although it wasn't the most elegant thing, it had saved their lives dozens of times. Then Doevm's second set of words confused him. "Did you hear five of something?"

\t'Doesn't that phrase describe how many people are following us? How come he said that I should return to camp and that there were five people following us? Unless, does he mean there are five people back at camp. In that case, I need more men.' Just before he opened his mouth, Doevm stared at him.

\t'This is the time to prove yourself.': That was what the look meant. While they passed tree after tree, Doevm's dagger slipped out of its sheath, which should have been impossible. It clattered on the floor. He even looked at it, but then looked at Hopi, who picked it up and disappeared. Returning to base, he took a deep breath. Five men were looting their things. Of the things Hopi learned in the past week, it was that hooks allowed Elves to climb trees extremely fast, although he didn't have a pair. He greedily smiled at the Elves and took a deep breath. His confusion was getting worse by the second. Anger resurfaced in his heart, but this time he didn't suppress it. Instead, he allowed it in. His heartbeat like a war drum, giving him a rhythm when he leaped out. His practice paid off here. Each stab hit a vital spot. In a breath, three were dead. The remaining two looked at him.

\t"Traitor," they hissed as they drew their daggers.

\t"Traitor?" Hopi asked, his heartbeat echoed in his head, making him a little woozy. He swallowed and reigned in his emotions. That one word almost set him over the edge. "You guys don't even consider me as your own, humans don't consider me as their own. I can be no traitor because I belong to no one." Rationality battled anger just as his spear battled against their daggers. In this moment, all their life essence poured out. He was on the backpedal. No matter how many years Hopi trained, he was still inexperienced fighting humans, let alone Elves. It was in this moment, of external and internal conflict, that he snapped. The heartbeat quieted. Anger still flared up. If before his emotions were like an uncontrollable fire, now they were shaped. He still felt like he could tear someone into pieces, but he also felt like he could think faster than normal. It was like he watched himself from the sidelines as he killed the two Elves. After the battle, his mind came back to him.

\tEven though his body was tired, his mind was alert. Each step came into play. 'This wasn't enough,' He thought. 'Doevm wanted me to do more.' He unsheathed Doevm's dagger. He knew what it was capable of from when Doevm described it to Ashtehar. He had dozens of snares, hooks to climb trees, and roughly an hour to set the trap. 'Time to get to work.'