18 No longer human

Deep in a part of the forest that was not touched by the fire, a single silhouette could be seen stumbling at every step. From just one look at that person, one could easily tell that her consciousness was just a mirage and that she couldn't react to anything surrounding her. Near her, a few rabbits were running away with her small paws and the air was filled with a strange smell. The previous clear sky filled with stars was getting more and more obscure and not even the two moons could do something about it. However, the one still walked with even less life than an undead. Because, in truth, she was one.

Muirnë was always proud of her achievement and strength, for even as she was a girl, she was still one of the most promising youngsters in the kingdom. Her family was the most respected of all, even more than the royal family. One year ago, when she finally turned 15, her father and the elders explained to her why, even as they were so strong and liked by the populace, the royalty had no fear about them. It was an open secret, shared between all the important families. And one of the main reasons why no one dared to overthrow their sovereign. The Minalcar Teldil will rule as the Gwendhir will protect Massalia, for if one fails at his task the entire kingdom will be razed.

At first, she didn't believe that it was true and took it as a mere legend. She couldn't understand how someone from thousands of years ago could predict something like that and make even her father and her ancestors believe this nonsense. Later, he explained to her that it doesn't matter what they all thought, the important was that everyone was bind by that rule. And it allowed the kingdom to survive all the disasters that happened, by keeping the unity of the country. That's why every member of the Gwendhir family had to be train and fight, to keep the illusion intact.

And that was what she did, was what her older brother did and what her younger sister will do. Of course, no one will ask them to die in a pointless way or to charge to their death. That's why even if her secret mission was quite perilous, she was confident that her men and herself could survive. She never expected the Church of Torment to be able to lay a trap on her way back. That carelessness led to her current situation and she only had herself to blame for that. But at the same time, she wished she could end the suffering she was in.

Right after she saw the dark gods leaving, she tried to catch them. But that single step broke her stupor and she fell on the ground, again. There, she felt a piercing pain across her entire body. All the small little things that are spread on the surface of the ground, even the grass were turned into sharp swords and spears. The sole act of putting her hands on the ground to get up was more painful than the most brutal training she ever got. She even thought that her soul will vanish under such terrible torture. And in this ocean of negative emotions, her mind suddenly became clear.

"My soul is my body and my body is my soul." That sentence turned and turned in her mind that became a whirlpool of emotions. Lifting her head, she checked the surrounding and finally saw her former body. And from a hypothesis, it became the truth. She realized that the demon that took the form of a small girl didn't lie, she did give her the shape of her former body. But instead of giving her a real body, she only turned her soul into one. Muirnë herself was baffled when she noticed that she linked everything that easily. She knew she was not stupid, but to be that smart was not a small feat. Forgetting her suffering for a brief instant and congratulating herself, she inadvertently moved her hand, provoking another wave of pain.

From deep inside her, she began to hate that demonic being, even more than the old fart that attacked her. She cursed that monster but each time she did that, she moved a little. As the pain grew, her anger too. She kept doing it until she managed to get back on her two feet. At that time, finally, the pain lessened. Even if she felt that her lower limbs were hacked in thousands of pieces, the rest of body was fine. She didn't know how long she stayed like that, maybe half of an hour, or even an hour. She just enjoyed that brief respite.

It was the wind that awoke her. The small breeze didn't impact her, but that one was strong enough for her to feel it. And of course, in her state, anything that she could feel will hurt her. She now had a choice, staying here on the open and suffer or run towards the trees and take cover. She took the latter and the twenty meters that she walked felt like ten kilometers. As for running, she didn't dare, fearing that if she fell on the ground she lost her will to move again.

Only after she arrived did she noticed that she was not as sensitive as she was previously. The concept of time was gone in her mind and she had no idea what was the hour of the night. But Muirnë was sure that if someone suffered the same treatment that she did, that someone will either break or adapt. A small part of her mind was sad that she didn't escape reality but the rest was mad enough at the little girl to prevent the collapsed of her soul.

Not daring to put her hand on the tree, she finally took the time to check herself. She touched her leg, her body, and her face, not feeling anything weird. It was the same sensation that she always felt when she was still a normal human. Even when she touched the supposedly part of armors that were still there, she felt nothing like steel or leather. Like her armor was now her skin. Only after touching her neck, she felt something cold. Remembering what it was, she tried to tear it down, but the silver necklace was strong. She couldn't even lift it away from her neck as it was fused with her.

Those strange things baffled her, but she still got a bit of the concept. Her soul was her entire body and everything she carried on it. But from the outside, it looked like nothing was different, she was certain that nobody would believe that she couldn't remove her right gauntlet for example. And finally, she couldn't get rid of the silver chain around her neck. And also, either the demon was a sadist or it was natural, but her body was extremely sensitive. Too sensitive. But only toward pain.

After thinking about that last part, she realized that she didn't felt cold afterward, even when the violent wind was hurting her. She tried to calm herself, to see more things. While doing so, she still felt that she was hungry. But she didn't really felt tired on the other hand. Frowning a bit, she remembered her previous day. She woke up in the morning, walked the entire day, battled against the cultists, was turned into a ghost and then reverted back into a weird human. But she didn't feel tired? "Nonsense" Muirnë shouted.

For the first time since the dangerous group left, she spoke. Her voice was normal. Then she remembered that she was carrying a sword when she was threatening the demonic child. Her scabbard was empty and the sword was nowhere near her. Returning to where she was and gritting her teeth under the assault of the wind, she finally found it. However, from the entire sword, only the knob was present. The blade was gone but when she held the broken sword, she felt better.

"It's a shame that it is broken, but I am certain that if I tried to hit something with it, I would have gone to Hell." If just walking was painful, she didn't dare to imagine what attacking with a sword would do. She still kept it and use the straps on her scabbard to hold it. Thinking that she was finally ready and that she forgot nothing, she looked above her, to see the stars. There, she prayed every god and goddess she knew, from the ancestors of the dwarves to the deities under the sea. She asked them to show her the way to survive this ordeal and get back her true body.

None of them answered her call but it was fine. Expecting someone else to solve her own problem was not in her nature or the way she was educated. Pondering for a bit, she looked around and walked toward the direction that should lead her to the nearest encampment. A week ago, she walked past it without stopping but what she had to say was too important. Feeling confident, she calculated that it was only a journey away from her position. She truly believed the white lie she told to herself.