Chapter 491 - The Half-elf Is His Soul?

"What on earth is going on?" Eldrian asked again, looking at the half-elf he seemed to be. Purple eyes, silver hair, a body in between human and elf. Part of him hoped that Ziraili would come and explain things to him, however, Eldrian knew that he shouldn't rely on others. 

He had to learn how to figure out the unfamiliar on his own. 

Focusing some more, Eldrian took in all the details of this half-elf. He had to admit, it seemed like a strange mix of his human and elf selves. A mix between his real body and avatar. 

The thought was disturbing, to say the least. 

'Right, a soul is a reflection of what you believe your core to be.'  Eldrian pondered as he watched the half-elf.  'I believed it was previously just a heart because that is what I believe is the core of a person.'

'A heart obviously symbolizes emotions, which I believe is what makes us human. That, along with memories, entangled with emotions.'

'Then, what does the half-elf represent. Have I moved to a more basic belief that my body, or this mix of my bodies, is my core?' After asking this, Eldrian denied it. 

'Or, has it simply reached a point where a heart isn't enough?'  This, Eldrian felt was far more probable. 

"Maybe, but what if it is all of the above, or maybe even some other unknowns?" A voice Eldrian had never heard before proposed, nearly giving him a heart attack. 

Staring at the half-elf who was staring in the direction from which Eldrian was observing himself. Eldrian didn't know what to make of the situation. 

Moving his point of view, the half-elf followed with his eyes. Yet, Eldrian could still feel his connection to this body. Moving his hands, he brought it before his eyes and suddenly had a feeling of seeing two things at once. A view of his hand before his face, and of a half-elf looking at his hand.

It gave him quite the headache. 

"Who am I?" The half-elf asked to Eldrian's unspoken, even incomplete, thoughts. "I am no one, part of you."

"No, you're not me," Eldrian said, suddenly talking from the lips of the half-elf.

"Mmm, true. I am not really the you who you know. Think of me as a collection of thoughts you aren't even really aware you have."

"What?"

"Exactly."

"Oh, my subconscious?" Eldrian asked and found himself agreeing to it without the half-elf speaking. "But how?"

"This... This isn't the easiest question and we do not know the answer. Also, we have locked this space from the gods for the moment."

Hearing this, Eldrian's conscious mind froze. Repeating the last sentence in utter disbelief. And as he was stuck in this frozen disbelief, the repercussions of his subconscious being conscious and in the game finally struck. 

Before he could even form the questions, he already received the answers. "Yes, this is dangerous. The threat to you is greater but also smaller."

"Indeed, if we are overpowered there are no more fallbacks. Yes, overpowering us is far more difficult."

"The auras? They are contained. You want to control them? You aren't ready."

"What do I mean, I mean you cannot accomplish this."

"Why? I can't explain. Why? Just think a bit about what a subconscious is."

"Correct, you need to become aware before you will be able."

"Then, how did I freeze the domain? I didn't, you did when you fought to escape our body. I just realized what had happened. And part of you realized this too."

"How? Concentrate."

Obeying, Eldrian felt that somehow the abyss around him didn't feel like the Mageia Avyssis. It felt like it was part of him, part of his soul. 

"Correct, our new question is what is a soul and how is this possible."

Trying to get more answered Eldrian got a truly frustrating answer.

"We don't know, so I can't answer."

"Done already?"

"Oh, you want to know how I can talk. We don't know."

"That is an interesting thought..." The half-elf closed his eyes for a moment, leaving Eldrian with just the third person view of his soul for a moment. When the half-elf opened his eyes, Eldrian understood something really important and worrying was happening. 

He suddenly had a memory of being in both the game and real life, of concentrating on his surroundings and feeling the mana in his room slowly converging on him. 

"We can't let that happen!"

"Subconscious." The half-elf replied.

"You're my goddam subconscious!"

"Incorrect, I am part of it. A small part of it."

"Take control, what if-"

"No known methods of measuring mana is known to Miracle. Not even in the simulation, impossible for them to detect in the real world." The half-elf answered and continued to answer before Eldrian even finished the thoughts.

"Interesting, our readings? It is possible."

"Regulated, body was absorbing too much and heightening- right, I will focus on regulating it."

"Yes, will slip up if we are under stress. Like last time."

"Last time? You don't know? Yes, that time."

"Can't explain, it was subconscious. We need to learn control. Yes, strange that Miracle did not question."

"Auras are still here, just concentrate."

Doing so, Eldrian found again the heat and cold inside of his body. The heat concentrated at the half-elf's chest and the cold at the head.

"How to pull out? Unknown? Go inside? Unknown?"

"Screw it!" Pushing his focus this time to entering the body of the half-elf, instead of exiting it, Eldrian focused and focused. 

"If you do this, the zone will collapse."

"Yes, a new one will be formed around body."

With that, Eldrian continued to push. After a great deal of struggle, he found himself before a heart, just like the one he was so used to. However, only the fire aura was around it, and it was in the midst of an abyss seemingly expanding endlessly. 

Focusing, Eldrian willed himself to find the other aura. To go to the brain, again it took a great deal of effort, and what he found was not what he had expected. 

"Correct, it is a reflection of what you consider makes decisions." A new half-elf, identical to the former in many ways said.

The differences were that this one had ice blue eyes, lips, even its skin had an ice-like blue tone to it. And he was surrounded by an ice mist. 

"Correct, access to tranquility is putting away emotions. Correct, emotions do not need to be put away."

"Correct, they need only be kept from the process of thought."

"Incorrect, it is not just thinking logically. Incorrect, it is not cold due to nature of tranquility."

Extending the half-elf's hands, his hands, Eldrian tried to feel the ice mist surrounding him. 

"Incorrect, it is not mana."

"Correct, channeling emotions is the cornerstone of controlling auras."

"Incorrect, tranquility isn't being emotionless. Incorrect, tranquility isn't fighting emotions."

Incorrect kept being said before Eldrian could even finish his thought processes. It was truly irritating, but it also sped up the speed at which he could think through things. Finally, 'correct' rang again. 

"Correct, tranquility is accepting emotions. Correct, emotions are indeed uncontrollable. Correct, it does not mean it cannot be controlled. Correct, control is limited to direction, not emotion."

"Correct, channeling tranquility is accepting what is and focusing on what you wish."

"Correct, ice is moving."

The half-elf, Eldrian, smirked as the last piece wasn't required to be spoken. Eldrian saw the ice moving himself, he could feel his connection with the aura of tranquility. 

AN: Hope the dialogue wasn't too confusing (though it is meant to be confusing).

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