Chapter 347: How to control your emotions?

'Too late for regrets, let's see what is going on here.' Moving around Eldrian found that the auras were not clashing violently. A small blessing. 

A small blessing that made a massive difference.

The invasive black mass was probing his soul's defenses and each probe was destroyed almost instantly. 'That is a good thing, seems that my auras are quite strong.'

Eldrian would have smiled if he could, curious what Pelaros and the others were trying at this moment. He sighed as he realized he must have really frightened or frustrated them. Likely both. 

'This is going to be a mess, but that is for later.' Eldrian tried to calm down and analyze what was going on. It was not the first time he had come into contact with it. Yet he still knew nearly as little as the first time. 

The black miasma felt like what he thought death would feel like. It was cold, and while the light blue aurora was also cold. The one had no life while the other had. It was like the difference between the cold of a vacuum in space and the cold of snow. One clearly much more, almost alive in contrast. 

Other than this, there was not much to feel or even find. The black miasma did not feel much different from the rest of the abyss wherein he found himself. 

Unlike in the case of Kydone, Eldrian's soul was much much smaller. It was also not corrupted, yet.

Pausing, Eldrian wondered how else he could find something. He recalled that when he had tried to help Kydone the darkness had not just been a void, rather it was a pit of extremes. This however was not the case this time around. 

'Is it the difference between a ghoul and revenant, or between her life being on a thread and mine not?' Eldrian wondered, thus far his life not in any danger. 

'Or is it because I am not religious? Or maybe because currently I am not fighting?' Eldrian had no idea and the emptiness he felt when trying to contact the miasma was unnerving. 

When he did the same with his own auras then he could feel what they were made of. The blue calming him and making him think without emotions, while the fiery one made him brim with emotions. Made him angry and impulsive. 

The miasma had no effect it seemed, it just felt cold. It felt like a void like no other. Like Eldrian's emotions were sucked in to never return. That his thoughts would be turned into nothing. 

'Terrifying...' Eldrian shuddered as he felt this coldness starting to spread into him. Quickly disconnecting whatever connection he might have and placing himself, or rather his perspective inside the auroras of his. 

Movement in this place was weird, it was not physically it need not even be connected. Eldrian had wished to be away from it and safe, and suddenly his perspective had changed. Calming down he thought to view from afar and after a few tries he was. 

Before he could feel happy with his success the invasive aura began stirring. It no longer just probed. Instead, it launched a full assault. Waves upon waves of darkness falling onto the only two sources of light in an abyss. 

The first clash was easily blocked by the lights, the following quickly starting to stuff them out. Eldrian's emotions robbed, his concern, his curiosity suddenly dipping. Almost disappearing. Shocking him to his core once he realized what was happening.

Frightened he became angry and anger made his aura of wrath grow. 

It grew in size and began aggressively fighting back. Yet, no matter how it attacked back it could do nothing. It was like watching living sand fight the sea. No matter the sand's intensity, the waves were just too much. 

This did not last long as a stalemate, soon the flames of wrath started failing and its assaults left the heart open to the darkness. Its first contact nearly made Eldrian puke even though he was just a thought floating in an abyss. 

The pain was like none he had ever felt before. Not because it was actual pain, but because he could feel his life literally being stolen. Luckily his aura of tranquility soon covered the opening and chased away the darkness. 

Eldrian however was left with that shocking pain. A pain he would never be able to put into words. A pain throughout his being, not through a body.

Not wishing for another shock like that, Eldrian tried his best to control his auras. This however was not close to easy. He knew how to activate the wrath, he had no idea how to even activate the other. Not to mention controlling them. 

Desperately searching Eldrian experienced the pain again and again. Losing himself in anger till the increased pain brought him back to sanity. While more anger had made wrath stronger, it had also made it more reckless. Leaving more opening for the darkness to exploit. 

Realizing this Eldrian did his best to calm down. Something that was no easy when he was reeling from the pain and had no new ideas. Until he realized something. 

His regaining his sanity had not made the flames as weak as he had expected. Eldrian quickly searched for why, and he found it by the time the next pain flash arrived. 

'I see! It is so simple yet impossible at the same time!' Eldrian felt overjoyed, shedding his limit on his anger but biting his metaphorical lip as he fought to keep control. 

Somehow, after two more pain flashes, he managed. The flames became stronger yet they did not rage without direction. Eldrian fought the pain and anger. 

Not fighting to decrease his anger but rather to just keep his sanity. To let the anger build like pressure in a dam. With only one outlet. 

'Now!' With the thought the flames suddenly wiped around the heart, incinerating a great deal of the darkness. Retreating back into its position before the darkness could enter the opening this created.

Unfortunately, the success robed Eldrian of a great deal of anger, leading to him needing to build up the anger all over again. Luckily this setback also angered him and somewhat negated itself due to that. 

'Keep calm and clear-minded, let the anger build but rationality rule.' Eldrian mumbled as he repeated the attack, this time not moving the flames to fill the gap. 

Instead, he hoped for his other aura to do something. He hoped for this by logically calling to it, sharing with it his plan. A plan of offense and defense. 

He had no idea if it would work. Until he saw the blue aurora move to fill the gaps. Stretching itself thin, it did not increase as the flames did but, it was enough. 

The darkness reeled from the flames, unable to break the ice aurora before the flames came again. Naturally seeing it work led to the flames decreasing more than once. Luckily the frustration of seeing this made this more often than not, insignificant. 

A constant irritants, and fuel for his flames of wrath, was that Eldrian had done this with the hope of absorbing the legacy. The more his flames of wrath destroyed the darkness the more he felt this would not happen, adding more to his frustration. 

Especially when he thought of the pain he had gone through for nothing. Increasing the flames even more by the seconds after Eldrian no longer received any pain. His mind able to think leading to his frustration growing. 

It was in this frustration that Eldrian saw a flash of blinding light. An area of intertwinement had suddenly come into existence. No longer ice and flames, it suddenly became something new, something of both. 

Eldrian did not have time to see what happened, it unhappening as soon as he realized something had happened. Yet something had happened, the darkness on that side of the heart sent away by the flash. 

Curiosity almost robbed Eldrian's control over his emotions. A flash of pain reminding him that it was not the time to forget what was going on. That this was not a game and that he was truly in danger if he let his focus slip. 

Time passed, Eldrian unable to keep it but certain it must at least be hours if not days. The black mass far too much, Eldrian realizing just how insane his attempt was. 

It taking so long was not all bad. It allowed Eldrian to gain a better grip over his emotions. To truly start mastering the aura of wrath properly, and even slowly figure out how to fuel the other. 

It was not as he had done. It was not giving it a plan, but rather not letting emotions rule. It might sound dumb but it took Eldrian a long time to realize what this meant and how hard it actually was. 

He had only managed to fuel the ice twice, and only for a limited amount each time. Letting emotions rule might not be correct, it was more not letting your emotions even influence you. 

To have them exist, have them rage. Yet not let them touch your mind. Letting them be their own thing while you ignore them and think. A nearly impossible task.

...

"What!?" Pelaros shouted in shock as he heard the report. 

"I said, an army of at least a hundred thousand thralls and other undead are coming towards Kynigo. I did not go closer, I trust in Mneme's instincts. There was something that had her fear for our lives." Itireae repeated, slightly irritated at the need.

"Pelaros, I fear this mission needs to be delayed," Farest said, not looking forward to what was to come.