Chapter 25

‘Pay cut.’

She really was miserable now.

Judith swallowed her tears.

Judith, who had not even blinked despite the terrifying threat of being beat up.

But now she was obviously intimidated.

‘How much? What percentage? Starting when?’

The money that she has to pay back next week was all she had.

Can she cut down on food expenses?

Is that enough money?

The starting salary for a new knight is 350,000, of which 240,00 will be left if she gets a 30% pay cut.

When combined with the money to be sent to a nursing home by the simple spring method, the expenses were already larger than her income.

udith covered her face with her palm. It was like trying to cover the sky with your palm. It is of no use.

‘I still deserve to live.’

The salary cut brought me to my senses.

Judith sought God with her bare mind.

‘God Karnak, please return me one more time.’

If you could turn back time one more time, no more, no less, she would go back to just two hours ago and seal her fists.

I’d rather get hit and charge for the treatment. I would never hit you together!

‘Are individual bills paid in installments? What if Peon charges for treatment?’

Judith’s pupils shook.

Come to think of it, she even paid an exorbitant amount of treatment for the senior who had her nostrils pierced with a fork in the Knights Templar.

‘I really deserved to live.’

She smiled sadly.

She laughed in vain.

Judith thought she knew why life was hard.

Living with money and pride, she didn’t think it was wrong.

She thought that it would be enough to pierce nostrils again if she had to, and that she could just get angry and be treated with violent skills.

She thought it had changed with regression, but the underlying thoughts and judgment criteria did not change easily.

‘…….I see.’

Judith swept off the back of her neck that hid her Stigma.

‘I shouldn’t have done that.’

People are bound to change. But they don’t change overnight.

So what makes a person change?

An incident? Smart choices?

Judith went through a regression. She chose the Red Knights.

Nevertheless, her essence has not changed completely.

Judith now knew.

Without real determination and clear goals, change loses direction and falters.

She thought it had turned into a single regression.

However, when it came to this, her way of living as before came out.

Now that she realized it, she really regretted it.

‘I shouldn’t have… I shouldn’t act like I used to. I shouldn’t have thought that violence would solve it.’

Ha.. hahaha.

The realization that came with the salary cut was astounding.

‘I can’t do this, I can’t act like I used to.’

How can you guarantee that you can change?

Is there any money that has fallen to the ground like before? I am blindfolded.

How can she guarantee that she won’t do the same thing because she wasn’t blinded by money?

How the hell was she here just like before.

The more depressed Judith was, the more restless Louis became.

She was so depressed that Louis, who was looking around, eventually opened his mouth.

“Judith, are you still in a lot of pain?”

“…it’s okay.”

“What about your neck?”

“It’s all right, there’s no problem.”

For such a thing, he seems to have lost all his property and left it on the street.

Louis felt responsible and guilty looking at the dark clouds hanging over Judith.

“I’m sorry. I should take responsibility.”

Louis bowed his head.

“If I had succeeded once… …no, if I had endured it earlier, it wouldn’t have gotten this far.”

“It’s alright. It’s alright. It’s in the past. What’s the point?”

She didn’t care about the past, but the upcoming pay cut was a painful word for her.

Louis blamed himself, but it didn’t seem necessary for Judith to worry.

It was enough to be hated by a senior.

Feon Grand?

‘That bastard is just trash.’

Judith felt like lying down.

Meanwhile, Louis was convinced.

Judith probably said that it was okay to make Peon’s double bells into single bells.1

He smiled faintly and shook her head.

“Thank you for saying that.”

His smile was filled with gratitude and regret.

“I think I misunderstood you, Judith.”

“What?”

“I thought you were a cold-blooded, self-interested person.”

“…..”

“I thought you were a greedy person that only wanted money and didn’t care about others.”

Louis put ointment on his fingertips.

Suddenly, Judith realized that her distance with Louis was quite close.

“Hold on a second. I’ll put it on.”

Louis held a painkiller in one hand and dabbed the ointment with the other. She felt the unique texture of the ointment.

In case it might sting, Louis’s touch with ointment was very careful.

“I guess I’m still lacking in people’s eyes.”

“That…”

That’s not true.

I still care about money and don’t really care about other people.

Damn, I couldn’t say that.

Judith eventually didn’t answer. It was better to be silent when I couldn’t find an appropriate answer.

Of course, it was Lu who did not know Judith’s inner feelings. His heart as he applied the ointment was gradually stinging.

‘I really saw the wrong person.’

Over the past two days, Louis has seen a new side of Judith.

Judith did not give up on Louis.

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Rather than telling him to do the training on his own, she encouraged Louis, who practiced with onion with Violet.

Throughout the training, she glanced at where she had left her theology books, but when her posture broke, she straightened herself.

Her strictness and kindness went hand in hand.

‘She could have blamed me for everything.”

Louis looked at her affectionately.

The fingertips that fell after applying the ointment were a little warm.

Louis was as modest as Judith, who avoided eye contact.

“Well, actually, if we weren’t in the same platoon, we wouldn’t have talked to each other, would we? We’re friends now… but we were like that.”

“Yes.”

If he had not been assigned to the same platoon by chance, he would have been a person who would not have been able to see the difference until now.

Judith and Louis knew each other.

“What a relief that we happened to be together in the same platoon.”

“……”

“If there is anything I can do to help you in the future, please tell me. I will do my best.”

“Not really……”

I had to say no.

It was the 26-year-old Judith who said that.

She knew what the result turned out like.

Judith looked right at Louis.

Slightly raised and asymmetrical cheeks, and the back of the hand full of bruise marks.

It was clearly different from Louis in her last memory.

Face to face, she was sure.

‘His face was a little more defined at this time.’

Louis was the friend whose body remained the most intact.

It was better than Violet, who’s left shoulder got torn to pieces by a Demonic Beast, and Calipa, who committed suicide.

The winter of 412, two years from now.

Louis died of excessive bleeding.

He ran away with his back to Violet, and then……

‘Are you still human?’

The memories that cannot be continued broke life fragments.

With sinful memories piercing her heart, Judith was a sinner.

She wanted to apologize to those who could no longer hear.

To those who lived with 26-year-old Judith, not to the ones in front of her now.

Judith couldn’t always turn her head to her friends who ‘became close friends because they were assigned to the same platoon’.

At that time, Judith didn’t even want to pay her knight’s consolation money to send to Violet and Louis’s family.

‘Do you mean that? Violet and Louis are dead… How can you say that, with a look like you’re wasting money, huh? That’s why a weak person shouldn’t be a knight? You say something like that and think some condolence money for your fallen friends is asking for too much?!’

Raymond was angry and wept. There was no hesitation in the hand that threw out Judith’s consolation money.

‘Are we still even friends?’

In front of the angry Raymond, Judith sighed while holding a soft envelope.

The deaths of Louis and Violet were too natural. Because their skills were clearly different from hers.

She said that out of frustration.

That’s why a weak person shouldn’t be a knight.

“……”

At the time, she really thought so.

It was a waste of money, and she was angry with Raymond.

Then, Raymond asked, “Did you do the same when Calipa died?” Raymond asked, “Do you survive alone because it’s better than losing, Judith?

And a month later, Raymond also died.

That was the end of her friends.

‘I shouldn’t have lived like that.’

It was too late to regret.2

Judith was too slow to realize. She quickly lost her friends in the blink of an eye.

Khalifa commited suicide, Louis and Violet were killed by a beast, and finally, Raymond was killed during a mad dragon’s rage.

Judith was soon alone.

As soon as she returned, as soon as she opened my eyes, the first person she saw was Violet, who was holding her hand.

Is it because they have regressed to the age of 20?

‘No…..”

No, because they’re the ones who held my hand first.

Judith was busy living that life for money and couldn’t afford to take care of anyone.

Calipa often breaks down and disappears for days; she knew Raymond can’t fix his kleptomania, but it was someone else’s business anyway. It wasn’t her job.

She’d lived like that all her life.

Why did she live so ferociously?

Judith now wanted to part with the past. Those days were not even memorable.

“You don’t need any help? Aren’t you interested in theology these days?”

“…how did you know?”

“You know, you’ve been carrying theology around lately, though you probably didn’t have time to read because of me.”

Louis closed the ointment jar.

“If it’s theology, I can teach you a little bit, because I learned it at home school with Mr. Hemawati.”

“……”

“Don’t say no, I want to do something for you.”

Judith blinked a few times.

The most heartbreaking thought was that this was it.

‘I can’t miss this.’

This was an opportunity.

Theology is a difficult discipline.

It’s difficult to speak, and similar words are constantly pouring out. Sentences are long, paragraphs are longer.

It was so difficult for Judith that she couldn’t grasp the point at all.

None of the theology books Judith borrowed fit her level.

The theology books she wanted were for 8 year-olds.

In the beginning, there was the god Karnak. God Karnak left Stigma. Stigma is this.

That’s… that’s about it.

Of course, there has never been a book with only the main points.

But what if it’s a person?

“Then I’ll ask you. I’m glad, It was too hard for me.”

Judith’s change of attitude was quick.

She didn’t hesitate.

Though he was asked for a favor, somehow Louis’ expression was bright.

The orange-red eyes burned with enthusiasm.

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Then someone knocked on the break room door.

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TL notes ( ´ ▿ ` )

Manhwa chapter 18-19

* will check for any spelling/grammar mistakes later bc it’s 4 am right now so sorry if you see any errors :((