Chapter 138

“Landon will be home from New York late tonight. I’ll be picking him up at two a.m.,” Karen says excitedly.

“I can’t wait for him to be back,” I say. And I really mean it—I’ve missed my best friend, his words of wisdom, and his warm smile.

CHRISTIAN VANCE’S HOUSE is exactly how I had imagined it would be. Extremely modern in style, the entire structure is nearly transparent, beams and glass appearing to be the only things securing it to the hill. Every decoration and detail is styled to blend into a perfect theme throughout the entire interior. It’s amazing, and reminds me of a museum in the way that nothing in it looks like it’s even been touched before.

Kimberly greets us at the front door. “Thank you guys so much for coming,” she says, pulling me into her arms.

“Thank you for inviting us.” Ken shakes Christian’s hand. “Congratulations on the big move.”

I lose my breath at the sight of the water just out the back windows. Now I understand why most of the house is glass—the house sits on a large lake. The water outside seems endless, and the setting sun makes the whole panorama even more breathtaking as it reflects off the lake, nearly blinding me. That the house is on a hill and the yard is slightly sloped creates the illusion that you’re floating on top of the water.

“Everyone’s in here.” Kimberly leads us to their dining room, which, like the rest of the house, is perfect.

None of this is my style—I prefer more old-fashioned decor—but Vance’s place really is exquisite. Two elongated, rectangular dinner tables fill the space, each full of multicolored flowers and small bowls with floating candles inside for each place setting. The napkins are folded into the shape of flowers, a silver ring holding them in place. It’s beautiful. So elegant and colorful, it looks like something straight from a magazine. Kimberly really has gone all out for this party.

Trevor is sitting at the table closest to the window along with a few other faces I recognize from the office, including Crystal from marketing and her soon-to-be husband. Smith is seated two chairs down and has his face buried in some sort of handheld video game.

“You look beautiful.” Trevor smiles at me and rises from his seat to greet Ken and Karen.

“Thank you. How are you?” I ask.

His tie is the exact same shade of blue as his eyes, which are bright and beaming. “Great, ready for the big move!”

“I bet!” I say, but am really thinking, If only I were able to move to Seattle now . . .

“Trevor, it’s nice to see you.” Ken shakes his hand, and I look down when I feel a slight tug at my dress.

“Hi, Smith, how are you?” I ask the little boy with shining green eyes.

“Okay.” He shrugs. Then, in a quiet voice, he asks, “Where’s your Hardin?”

I don’t know what else to say, and the way Smith called him “my Hardin” stirs something in me. The stone wall is already beginning to chip away, and I’ve only been here for ten minutes. “He’s, um . . . he’s not here right now.”

“He’s coming, though?”

“No, I’m sorry. I don’t think he is, honey.”

“Oh.”

It’s a terrible lie and one that anyone who knows Hardin would see through, but I tell the little guy, “But he did say to tell you hello,” and I ruffle his hair a little. Now Hardin has me lying to children. Great.

Smith half smiles and sits back down at the table. “Okay. I like your Hardin.”

Me, too, I want to tell him, but he’s not mine.

Within fifteen minutes, twenty more people arrive, and Christian has turned on his super-high-tech stereo system. With only a click of a button, a soft piano melody spreads through the house. Young men in white-collared shirts begin to circle the room with trays of appetizers, and I help myself to something that looks like a small piece of bread topped with tomatoes and sauce.

“The Seattle office is breathtaking—you should see it,” Christian says to a small group of us. “It’s right on the water; it’s two times larger than our office here. I can’t believe I’m finally expanding.”

I try to appear as interested as I can as a waiter hands me a glass of white wine. Well, I am interested—I’m just distracted. Distracted by the mention of Hardin and the idea of Seattle. As I stare out the glass wall at the water, I imagine Hardin and me moving into an apartment together amid the excitement of a new city, a new place, and new people. We would make new friends and start a new life there, together. Hardin would work for Vance again and he’d brag all day and night about how he makes more money than me, and I would fight him to be allowed to pay the cable bill.

“Tessa?”

I’m brought out of my pointless daydream by the sound of Trevor’s voice. “Sorry . . .” I stutter and realize it’s just the two of us now, and he’s beginning or finishing a story that I wasn’t even aware he was telling.

“As I was saying, my apartment is close to the new building and right in the middle of downtown—you should see the view.” He smiles. “The Seattle skyline is so beautiful, especially at night.”

I smile and nod. I bet it is. I bet it really, really is.

Chapter eighty-eight

HARDIN

What the fuck am I doing?

I keep pacing back and forth. This was a stupid fucking idea to begin with.

I kick a stone across the driveway. What am I expecting to happen . . . that she’ll run into my arms and forgive me for all the shit I have done to her? She’ll suddenly believe that I didn’t sleep with Carly?