Chapter 39：ANNIE'S FEARS

"Ian is a man who is worthy of your love. I was afraid that because of your inexperience you would fall in love with someone who wasn't worthy and have your heart broken. And instead..."

Annie didn't question the hesitation, but a small knot of fear closed her throat. It was obvious Elizabeth could have no objection to Ian's character. She could have no doubt, just as Annie had none, that he would always protect his own.

"I never worried that his heart might be engaged," Elizabeth finished softly.

At first, the words caused a small surge of excitement.

It was not until she had coupled them with the pity in the Countess's eyes that she understood what they meant. The words hit her like a bucket of cold water.

"Ian's in love with someone else," Annie breathed.

She searched her memory for anything, any word that had passed between them, that might have warned her.

"I have wondered how to tell you," Elizabeth said. "Or if I even should."

"I wish you had told me before," Annie said fearing now that Ian, like Elizabeth, suspected how she felt.

"You are very young," Elizabeth said softly.

"Don't," Annie said. "I don't believe age has anything to do with what I feel."

"I know you don't, but perhaps in time..." Elizabeth trailed off.

"Did she reject him?" Annie broke in, in time.

"I don't know. Like you, I can't imagine that anyone could, but people very often love where their feelings aren't returned. And it is always possible, Annie, that that was his choice."

"His choice?" Annie repeated.

"Perhaps until Ian is completely recovered he feels as if he can't offer for any woman."

"If his injuries matter to her, then she truly doesn't deserve him," Annie said.

"Would you ever believe anyone else deserved him?"

"If she loved him, nothing would matter," Annie said stubbornly, perhaps because she could not yet deal with the hard reality of what Elizabeth was saying.

"Knowing the Sinclair men as I do now, I have realized that there are some things which will always matter to them."

"You believe he never told her how he felt for her?"

Elizabeth shrugged. "I don't suppose we will ever know what happened between them. Ian, of course, will never tell it to anyone. Whatever the reason, I thought it only fair that you should know that Ian is not free to return your affection. As much as he might value it."

"I have been a fool," Annie said softly. "A fool to think that he could ever—"

"No," Elizabeth denied, pulling her close and putting her arms around her. "It's never foolish to love a man worthy of your devotion. It's only foolish if it's the other kind. And it may be that some day Ian will open his eyes and realize how lucky he would be to have your love. However..."

'However' They both knew that the feelings she had sheltered so carefully in her heart were far more likely to wither and die unacknowledged, like a shaded flower that is never allowed to feel the warmth of the nourishing sun.

"Thank you for telling me," Annie said. "Thank you for everything."

She hugged the Countess of Dare tightly, and her eyes filled with tears as Elizabeth fiercely reciprocated her show of affection.

Then Annie freed herself from that perfumed embrace and turned away quickly before Elizabeth could see her face.

She would do her grieving in private. If her foolishly romantic heart was breaking, it was her own fault. Ian had never led her to believe she was anything to him but his ward. Or that he had any desire that she would ever become anything else.

That had been her stupidity. Her mistake. Another necessary lesson, perhaps, and no one expect Elizabeth would ever be allowed to know what a very painful one it had been. If Ian Sinclair could hide is broken heart so well that she had never even suspected, then so, Annie decided, she could.