Chapter 31 - Day L: Mark

With no food left I was forced to go to the city center. I was sure that I would have to pay the tax for using the device, and on the other hand, I was unsure if there will be somebody willing to trade its worth in goods that I could buy later for points. There was an old firekeepers gang, but I didn't want to abuse their will to help. They did a lot for me already and it just felt wrong, but what else could I do?

Confused about it, with opposing thoughts, I headed to the city center. It was too early when I got there, so except for craftsmen, there was nobody. Scavengers appeared from time to time with hands full of firewood. They looked terrible. To the point, I could compare myself to them. Emaciated, thin like sticks. The tax was killing them slowly. But there was no rest for the weak. No mercy.

I sat under some wall and waited. I had my backpack, to pack the food and the flint knife for protection. I kept it in my pocket. I knew that the moment I'll buy the food, I'm gonna became a fine target for those guys, and they will not hesitate.

It struck me how low we had fallen. Sons and daughters of fine civilization. People who used to fight for human and animal rights, even if only on the internet, now were ready to cut each other's throats for a single bite of food.

Time was passing slowly. If my sight wasn't so bad I would probably observe how some of the more skilled craftsmen were working, but it wasn't, and I didn't want to come closer and stare. Something like that could end badly.

I almost fell asleep while waiting, but then they came. Loud laughs announced their arrival. Some people on that signal went inside buildings to hide. Especially girls. On the other side, there were a few that came out. Their aim was clear. To exchange sexual favors for crystals.

I watched from afar as one by one, hunters approached the device to sell their scores, waiting for familiar faces to show up. The first person I saw was actually Ian, so I got up and went to say hi.

- Hey Ian.

- Oh. Long time no see Peter. How are you doing?

The conversation was kinda awkward. Maybe because he predicted my intention.

- Pretty bad. My hand is broken, and I can't get any crystals. I have some points saved, but I still need to pay the tax to be able to use the device.

He just gave me a nod.

- So... Would you be willing to exchange one of your crystals for its worth in goods? To be clear, I'm not asking you to give me anything for free.

-Uhm... Dude... I'm kinda in a tight spot myself you know? I don't wanna take any risks. If I knew you better...

- Ok, ok. I understand.

I immediately backed away and started to look for somebody else. It didn't take much time to spot out Aisha. I approached her.

- Hey Aisha.

- Oh... Hey Peter. Long time...

- Yeah. I'm not gonna beat around the bush. As you can see I'm not in the best spot I have ever been. The arm is broken - I stretched my left hand a bit upwards, to show it. - And I have no crystals to pay the tax. I have points though, so would you be willing to exchange one crystal for its worth in goods?

She was shocked a bit I think. I could see on her face that her mind was split.

- I would love to help, but not today. Can it be tomorrow?

I just nodded.

- Ok. If I won't find anybody today, then I'm gonna look for you tomorrow.

- Yeah... And... I'm sorry Peter.

- It's fine. It was my fault.

- I wish I could help.

She clearly felt bad, but at the same time she still was not willing to share her crystals, but her expression and words made me believe that there was a reason for that.

I kept looking for familiar faces but didn't spot anybody, so I decided to sit and wait. Some time passed and even more hunters came back from the woods. Still, couldn't find Boris or the rest of the old firekeepers group.

- You looking for something?

A familiar voice scared the shit out of me. Will's voice. I looked at him but didn't say a thing. I guess I was still angry.

- Ok, ok. I know you are upset, and I probably know why, but let's put that behind us, ok? I want you to bury the hatchet.

- Fuck you, Will. I wouldn't be here if weren't so fucking curious about everything.

- I was worried! And you have no idea if that would change something, or not. So don't say that.

- Yeah, yeah. Fuck you.

- Look. I know you are looking for somebody to trade you a crystal for some goods. I'm willing to trade you.

- How do you know that? What the fuck do you want Will? Are you spying on me or what?

- I just saw you talking with that guy... Ian was his name I think, and I simply asked him what did you want.

- Stop sticking your nose in my business Will.

- You want to trade or not?

I wanted to punch him, but I also was hungry and tired of waiting, so in the end, I just stuck my hand with an open palm. He put a crystal on it.

- I want a big piece of leather for that.

I just sighed loudly and stood up to go and wait in line to pay the tax. The line was short, so there was not much waiting. Unfortunately, the second one, to the device, was pretty damn long. I bought a leather piece worth 100 points, and food worth 80 points. I wanted to drink some water, but my bowl was still in the hideout. So, in the end, I bought two additional oranges and a piece of meat to cook over the flame. Since I was here, I could as well eat some meat. I didn't buy any seasonings though. All of it was 190 points.

- Here your leather - I said when finally everything was packed up, and I got back to Will.

- Thank you very much.

There was a bit of sarcasm in his voice. I knew he was clearly trying to help me, but my ego was hurt. Now when I look back at that situation, I find it kinda cute. I also didn't want to talk with him anymore, so I left.

Surprisingly Aisha joined me from out of nowhere, almost giving me a heart attack.

- Mind if I join you for a bit? I don't know if you noticed, but there is a couple of people watching you closely.

I knew that. It was nothing new that those who couldn't afford food were looking for any opportunities to get some. I was that opportunity.

- I know, and I have a knife. If they try something I'm gonna cut them.

- Normally I would agree, but in your state, it might not work as you think.

- Those guys are weaker than me. They can barely walk.

- But there is a couple of them.

- Fine. Come if you have to.

- I don't have to. I just feel bad for refusing you before.

- It's fine Aisha. You don't owe me anything, and I get that it's risky. You had no idea if I was lying about those points or not.

- Yeah... Sorry... L-look... You vanish all the time... I like you, but trusting is a bit too much.

We started walking.

- I hate lying, just so you know. And about living... I just have too many enemies here. Nacho's guys are too busy with hunting and taxes to follow me, but if I were to stay here... I bet they would try to have some fun on my account.

- But now you are provoking the scavengers. They are practically drolling while looking at you and your backpack full of food. They will get you someday, I'm telling you.

- Look, I feel better than I look. My left arm might be unusable, but my right is just fine. I can deal with goblins, so I can also deal with a few barely walking guys.

She just shook her head but didn't say anything. I was being too stubborn.

- It's hard... - She said all of a sudden, after a long period of silence.

- What is hard?

- Everything. I really have enough of this... Whatever it is. You know, I used to think that I'm a good person. This place is changing people, it's changing me. I always tried to help if I could. But now? I see people begging for food every day. I've seen a couple of girls being raped. I've seen people being beaten so badly, that they could even die. And you know what did I do? I looked away. I ran away.

- You can't help others if you can't help yourself.

- Yeah, but it's not like I'm starving. I could share...

- If you start sharing they will start demanding. Save points if you can, instead of wasting them on others. You might need those later on. And trust me, you might think you have enough, but that's wrong thinking. We have no idea what's gonna happen tomorrow.

- I can see your point.

- Trust me. I know it by experience.

She laughed a little.

- Yeah. You know... You are so different from others. I've seen people struggling like you. Being bullied, and taxed by stronger people. I've seen them beaten up. And all of them never left, like you, didn't get up, like you. Now they are begging for food and scavenging for wood. Barely making it.

I didn't answer anything. I had no idea what to tell her.

- Why do you do it? Why do you try to survive alone?

- We had this conversation before...

- Yeah, but I just don't get it. You said you were a coward, yet you left the city to live in the forest. You hunt alone. You even tried to use the whole Wuxia group to deal with Nacho...

- Fucking Will...

- No. It's not him. He didn't say a thing, but some people heard you talking. That's why Nacho's guys are now collecting the tax. They made a deal with Wuxia because of you.

- How do you know that?

- Because I talk with people.

- So do I have enemies there? I mean in Wuxia.

- You had. Some wanted to teach you a lesson when rumors spread, but then you got your ass beaten up in front of a lot of people, so now they kinda forget you are even alive. I guess you don't have enemies there, but they are definitely not your friends.

- Well, I think I'm gonna...

- Hey Aisha!

A bunch of people blocked our path coming out from behind the buildings. Their faces were new to me.

- What do you want? - She answered.

The guy who spoke was tall and blonde, with short curly hair. He was wearing simple leather armor and a hatchet made of stone and wood. Others were also armed. Their equipment indicated that they were hunting pretty successfully.

- I just saw you leaving with a guy. You know I'm jealous.

- Fuck you, Mark. I already told you I don't like you.

- Yeah, yeah... You did. But now you are walking with... this? - He pointed at me.

His friends laughed.

- So what? I can walk with whoever I want. It's non of your business.

- You declined me, and you are walking with this twat? You know that I wanted you to be my girl, but if you are going to do me dirty like that... People are gonna talk. I have a reputation to uphold.

- Fuck you, and your reputation. I can do whatever I want. It's non of your F.U.C.K.I.N.G business.

- Oh it is. It is. And now I will have to hurt you, friend. It's nothing personal pal - he turned to me.

I already had my hand in the pocket, on my knife's handle. I was ready to fight, but my brain screamed to run away. We had no chance with those guys.

- You think Juan is gonna let you hurt people left and right?

- Juan needs to make his men happy if he wants to uphold his position. And you could make us happy, and save your friend. So?

- We can run - I whispered under my breath. - My legs are fine.

- No. Just go. I'll deal with this by myself.

- You sure?

-Yes. Go.

So I started to walk. Many eyes were following me as I did so. I took another look back at Aisha, she just gave me a sign with her head to continue walking. She knew what's gonna happen next. I also knew. Even though I kept walking. Part of my brain wanted to go back, and charge those guys. The other part wanted to run away and hide.

These guys were ready to kill me. I knew it.

These days I wonder if I would die right then and there if I tried to stop them. Or maybe I would save her? The thing is I didn't. I ran away. Like coward. I cried and hid in my new house. Like a fucking coward!

What do you think of me now?

Day ended with 1096 points on my account.