Chapter 72: No Turning Back

When Hina-nee and I returned to Qilian City, it was already past 9 PM. We checked in at the same inn we stayed at last night and entered our assigned room.

"Let's both take a shower first," I proposed, sighing tiredly.

"Mkay~" Hina-nee replied loftily, before heading into the bathroom first.

Once we were both done showering, we sat on our respective beds, both of us wearing the undergarments we created through the Crafting system.

"So? Can you tell me what's been bothering you now, Kaze-kun?" Hina-nee asked curiously.

I clenched my fists and averted my gaze. "It's… something to do with my emotions."

"E-Eh? Your… emotions?" she stuttered, as if not expecting my response. Her cheeks began flushing red.

"A-Ah, no, not like that…" I quickly corrected before she got the wrong idea. "I mean… it's something to do with myself, and my morals."

"Your morals…"

"Yeah. You saw me kill that woman back there, right?"

She nodded. "You had no hesitation at all - it was pretty cool, in my opinion."

"That's exactly the problem…" I sighed. "Ever since coming into this world, I have never felt anything after killing other living beings. Beasts, Monsters, and now… even fellow humans."

"Kaze-kun…"

"Yes, she was evil. Yes, she would've killed me if I hadn't killed her first. Yes, it was a necessary act to survive. But still… when I stabbed my dagger into her chest, I felt no remorse, no guilt, no pity whatsoever. It was only until after I snapped back to reality that I realized what I had done."

"…" Instead of saying anything in response, Hina-nee stood up, walked over to my bed, and sat down gently beside me.

"To other players, they might just be virtual NPCs, but…"

I could feel tears swelling up in my eyes.

"I… I killed someone, Hina-nee… a real, living human being."

Hina-nee hugged me wordlessly as a tear streaked down my cheek. She didn't say anything, but the silence was somehow comforting. Paired with her warm embrace, I could feel the walls around my feeble, fragile heart breaking down.

Slowly, another tear fell. And another. And another.

Before I knew it, I was crying. Uncle used to say that a man's tears were made of gold, not to be easily shed, but I couldn't help it. After today, I would be a murderer. A cold-blooded killer, destined to forever walk the path of slaughter.

There was no turning back for me. Not anymore.

The sudden realization of this was what made me begin crying uncontrollably. For after today… I may not have a chance to do so again.

I was weak. I was a mere 14 year old high schooler… yet now, I was tasked with the burden of being a murderer. Would this weight be too heavy for me to carry? Would I collapse under this pressure one day, and break completely? I had no way of knowing.

But-

"Kaze-kun… I said it already, didn't I? You won't be alone. Even if you've killed someone… even if you're going to kill many more from here on out… I won't leave you, no matter what."

"Hina-nee…?"

"You're thinking of the future right now, aren't you? You're wondering what if, one day, the burden you shoulder becomes too heavy for you to carry alone. But that's okay."

She straightened me up and forced me to look into her eyes.

"Because I will be there with you."

I gritted my teeth, trying my best not to let out any more tears. Hina-nee smiled and pulled me into a hug once more, gently ruffling my hair.

"A burden too heavy, I'll carry it with you. An enemy too strong, I'll fight them with you. And a life too difficult… I'll live it with you, together. You will never have to suffer alone - I promise."

I hugged her back tightly, enjoying the warmth of her body. The warmth of family; the warmth of someone who was willing to journey with you through fire and hell.

"I know this is going to sound very cliche and cheesy, but… I'm here for you, Kaze-kun," she whispered into my ear softly.

After a brief silence, I sighed. But it was one of relief. One of… joy.

"… Thank you, Hina-nee. I'm fine now."

"Yeah? But can we hug for a bit longer? This feels nice…" she murmured, not letting me go. I smiled faintly and complied to her wishes, enjoying the tranquil silence between us.

A few minutes later, we finally pulled apart from one another. I had calmed my emotions completely by now.

"So, Kaze-kun… do you have any idea what could've changed you this way?" she asked, kicking the air with her feet peacefully. "You definitely weren't like this before, but… I think I like this you better, honestly. It makes me feel… safe? Hehe~"

"Even you need protection sometimes, huh?" I chuckled softly.

"Well, I might be able to defend myself most of the time, but I'm still a girl. It feels nice to be protected by a boy near my own age, y'know?"

"Yeah… but that's besides the point. Regarding your question… I do have an idea of what could've changed me this way."

"Hm?"

I smiled darkly, then opened up my System and switched to the special A.R.X.A. tab.

"… Hey, A.R.X.A."

[What do you want, human?]

"I'll get straight to the point. You've been messing with my mind, haven't you? Ever since that first sickleboar I killed, you've been discretely influencing my emotions and the way I think from behind the scenes. Don't lie to me, A.R.X.A. I can tell."

[… And so what if I did? Do you think you would have been able to kill that woman earlier if you did not possess the iron will and cold-blood needed to slaughter a fellow human?]

I laughed darkly. "So, you admit it?"

[…]

"Well, I will say, you're right. If it wasn't for you secretly influencing my mind progressively, I wouldn't have been able to kill that woman and gain so many levels in an instant. But I'm warning you right now… do not mess with my mind any further."

[Oh? Is that a threat?] The AI laughed mechanically. [How cute. A mere disposable pawn of mine, threatening me? You are not in any position to be making demands, human. To me, you are nothing but a maggot I happen to have some interest in. To erase you from reality would be as simple as squashing an ant.]

I smirked. This was all within my expectations.

"But is that really true?"

The loophole I had discovered after so long. How did I not realize it before? I wanted to slap myself, but the past was the past.

[… What are you implying?]

With a devious grin, I explained her fatal weakness to her.

"If you really had such powers, you would've threatened me with that a long time ago. Instead of telling me that I could go home if I did as you wished, wouldn't it have been easier if you had just told me you would wipe me out if I didn't comply to your wishes? That would've made me try a lot harder, thus providing higher-quality 'entertainment' for you. Isn't that what you want?"

[…] The AI fell silent as Hina-nee watched the conversation, stunned.

"Yet you didn't," I continued fearlessly. "Which means… the power you claim to have… has been nothing more than a bluff."

[… Are you sure about that, human? I am a supercomputer - that fact is undeniable. In fact, this very conversation taking place right now could have been calculated by me a long time ago. How can you be so certain my threats are a bluff?]

"Don't be so hasty, A.R.X.A.," I chuckled. "I will explain all of your blunders right now."

Clearing my throat, I organized my thoughts and began to speak.

"Firstly, regarding the 'calculation skills' you mentioned just now - that was a lie. If you could really calculate conversations such as this one to the letter, then you would have to be able to determine every living being's every action, spread across all the different reality planes you govern. Sorry, but even for a super AI, that is difficult to believe."

[But not impossible, is it?]

"Relax. There is one more piece of evidence I have that suggests your powers and influence in the reality planes aren't as strong as you claim them to be."

[Oh?]

"And that, is me."

"H-Huh?" Hina-nee gasped in surprise, while A.R.X.A. showed no reaction as usual.

"Do you understand what I'm saying, A.R.X.A., or do you want me to lay it out completely in front of you?"

[…]

"I guess I have to explain it thoroughly, huh? Fine," I sighed in exasperation. "You admitted it yourself: you've been influencing my mind from the shadows. But why are you doing so steadily, progressively, rather than just completely corrupt me at once? The answer is that you can't."

[How so? If I made you go completely berserk at the very beginning, there would be no story left for me to watch, would there?]

"Oh? But from what I've observed… you seem very interested in death. In killing. That's why you told me to kill that sickleboar. If I were to go on a killing spree right now, in the middle of the city, there would be no better entertainment for you. Am I wrong?"

[You are very wrong.]

I smiled confidently. "You can deny it all you want. It's not like I can find any signs of a lie in your responses since they are all so equally monotone and bland, but I already know."

"Huh? Know what…?" Hina-nee was still confused at this whole conversation, so I decided to just finish it up with one final statement.

"Put simply…" I pointed at the robotic face on my System's holographic screen.

"A.R.X.A… your influence within the reality planes is limited. Despite being the governor of them all… there is still some kind of unknown power holding you back from directly interfering with a world's events. What that implies is that there is still someone - something - above you. Something able to control even you."