Chapter Fifteen: What Reason is There to be Nervous?

Clarke got the documents signed and then we double checked everything else before I scanned them into the computer and got them sent off. It was nice to know I didn't have to go back to the office and that there wouldn't be a delay on the deal. Right now however, I wanted to go home.

"Thank you for coming around and getting that down," Clarke said as we re-entered the lounge room, now standing beside the couch. "Most people would've just let it wait til tomorrow."

"Yeah, well I know how important this deal is to you. I wasn't going to let it get delayed," I shrugged. "I should go. Gotta get home some time tonight."

"Yes, but Rory," he said quickly before I could even move a muscle, "we...we should have that talk now."

I felt my throat close up and my body wanted to panic and run. I didn't want to have that talk. I didn't know what to say or how I felt. I hadn't exactly worked anything out expect that we had had tension since the day he arrived, but that wasn't good enough.

"I...I really should be getting home though" I said, backing up slowly. "We can...talk another time."

I could tell he wasn't impressed with that response. "You're just going to avoid it then? Pretend it never happened?"

I shrugged slightly. "I mean..."

"I don't know about you, Rory, but me....I'm not going to forget that we had sex," Clarke told me firmly.

Hearing him say those words made it feel real, like I couldn't deny that any of it happened. It also made me nervous because it made me really think about it, and remember it.

"Like I said though," I swallowed as I spoke, "I should be getting home."

Clarke took another step to get close to me. He looked intrigued, like he was trying to work something out, or rather, work me out.

"You're nervous," he noted.

"No, I'm not," I lied quickly as he got closer to me. "What reason would I have to be nervous?"

"Because you liked it," Clarke said quickly. "It makes you nervous you felt that and that you feel it now."

I swallowed again, but more like gulped. Clarke was right at me now as I had stopped walking after literally walking into one of the side tables at the door.

I didn't want to admit that Clark was right. Despite how confusing it all was, I had liked it, really liked it in fact, and being here right now I couldn't deny that I was thinking about it now. I was thinking about fucking him right here and now I have no idea why. I just knew I wanted his body, and his touch again, and him.

I moved toward his lips, surprising him. He responded quickly though, wrapping his arms around me to pulled me up more towards his height. Our tongues brushed together instantly, another touch I craved. I moved my arms up to his neck, running my arms up to his arms to get there. He seemed like to my touch just as much as I liked his and started to pull me away from the table and got ourselves to the couch. My legs buckled as the back of them hit the couch, forcing me down onto it, breaking Clarke and I away for an instant. He came straight back down to my lips within seconds.

This was already different to last time, and I could tell due to how much hungrier I was for it, for him. We were moving quickly, kissing quickly and aggressively. We weren't going to muck around teasing each other this time, we both just wanted it.

My outfit made it easier and quicker. My navy pencil skirt I had worn to work was pushed up my legs by Clarke quite easily, exposing most of my thighs. I felt his hands go underneath and get a grip on my lacy panties, and pulled them down til they were off. Clarke moved back to me and suddenly being exposed made me want to hurry more. I started to scramble at his pants, undoing the belt and button and unzipping his fly, all something he helped me do. I could see him bulging under his boxers and we both pulled his pants down and his boxers, but didn't take them all of the off. With him hard I knew we could get into this quickly which was all I wanted. I wanted to feel him there again.

He moved himself so was between my thighs and kissed me eagerly and aggressively. He hadn't entered yet but I could feel his tip touching me and it was driving me wild.

"Do you want it now?" he asked in a course whisper combined with him being out of breath.

"Yes," I moaned eagerly. "Go, now."

He didn't hesitate once he had my consent, and I immediately felt him move into my entrance. My whole body went wild immediately tingling with pleasure and the first touch was met with a loud moan, from both of us.

It was like something that was kind of animalistic in a way. It wasn't about the emotions, just how it felt, and shit it felt good. He thrusted hard and deep and I had to grip onto the couch to contain myself. I could feel the fabric of his pants on the skin on my thighs as they had barely been pulled down and I realised I had never had sex so spontaneously in my life.

I felt my body warm up and I could feel myself getting close, and intensely close. Clarke was completely over me and with his body on mine his lips were on my neck, sucking and kissing his way around. I moved my hands from the couch to his back where I gripped onto him. I was probably causing a mark even through his shirt. I let out a loud moan as I felt my body release over and over again. Clarke helped me ride out of my wave of pleasure as he groaned and then released too.

For a moment after, Clarke's body was over mine as we both breathed out and tried to get our breath back. Clarke slowly climbed back off and moved to sit up on the couch. For a moment I just lied there, not really processing what just happened and how quickly it all had just happened, but then it hit me and I realised how much of an idiot I was.

I jumped up quickly, grabbing my underwear and putting them on quickly and trying to straighten up my skirt and my hair.

"Rory," Clarke sighed as he pulled his pants back on too and buckling them up.

"No, I need to go," I said frantically as I grabbed my bag, trying to get to the door.

"Rory, you can't just run away from this," Clarke told me as he got up to follow me.

"Well, yeah...watch me."

I got to his front door quickly, nearly running out and slamming the door behind me. Thankfully the elevator didn't take long as I was able to get away quickly. I also realised though that Clarke probably still would've had time to come and try stop me again but he didn't. I was hoping it was because Clarke knew he couldn't force anything from me right now because right now... I was more confused than ever.

I was supposed to get the subway home, it was the quickest way but I found myself attempting to walk most of the way home. I didn't know what else to do or even what to think really. How in the hell had I let that happen a second time? I mean the first time, there was something to it, this was just pure and hard sex, but it still felt so good.

I don't know how long I walked for or how many times I went through the same thoughts I had gone through when I tried to figure out why it happened the first time. This time was even more confusing and possibly even awful. I mean, what in the hell was wrong with me for me to do something like this? Was I fucked up? It wasn't just because it was Clarke Watson, that part wasn't great though, but it was because he was also my boss. I was his assistant and I had slept with him. How cliché.

I must've walked for up to an hour maybe longer, I had no idea, and once I had walked through my front door I only wanted to do one thing and that was talk to Ava. As I stepped inside though everything was dark and I suddenly remember she worked late Wednesday nights I was alone here. Which was exactly what I didn't need, to be alone more with my thoughts.

I lied myself down on the couch and sighed. If this continued I was definitely going to have to admit myself to a psychological hospital. I mean I was losing my mind, surely. That had to be the only explanation for my weird behaviour. I don't know when, but the exhaustion of the night, and the fact that my mind had been going non-stop for hours now, eventually helped me fall asleep on the couch.

When I woke up I was confused at first. I realised I was still on the couch and had slept the night here but I also had a blanket on me, something I didn't do. I knew it meant Ava was home, and it helped that I could hear the sound of the coffee maker in the kitchen going.

"I don't think I've ever seen you pass out on the couch," Ava said to me as she saw me enter the room. "Did you go on a secret bender last night and not tell me?"

"No," I said quickly, sitting at the stool near the bench. "Well, not exactly I guess."

Ava turned to look at me directly and frowned. "I was only joking."

"I know you were," I nodded. "Expect...something did happen last night."

"Okay," Ava said slowly walking over me. "What is that?"

I sighed before I spoke, processing it a little again as it hit me this morning of how much of an idiot I was.

"I went see Clarke last night. We missed something at work and it had to be done last night, so I went to his place," I explained. "It was the first time we were really alone since...since well, Paris, and it was awkward, extremely. Then as I went to leave Clarke wanted to talk about Paris, and I told him didn't want to, and then he kind of cornered me....and well long story short, I slept with him again."

"You, what?!" Ava almost yelled at me. "You can't be serious?"

"Oh, but I am," I said dismally. "It happened again, and it was so fast and weird.

"I... I don't even know what to say," Ava shrugged, slightly in shock.

"There's probably nothing you can say that I haven't already said to myself," I told her. "I mean, it's Clarke Watson, he's a womaniser, and he kept a freaking condom in his wallet. That's a player move."

"You keep a condom in your wallet," Ava reminded me.

"I know, but for just in case, to be safe you know," I stuttered along. "You never know when you'll need it...like last night."

"Good to know you're safe at least," Ava muttered slightly and she sighed as she noticed the sad look on my face. "Okay, I think it's time to bring out the big guns."

I frowned at her. "What the hell are you talking about?"

She paused and went over and picked up her phone. "You need to talk to Kieran about this."

"No, no, no," I said quickly, jumping up to try and stop Ava from texting it. "He will judge me...badly."

"That's not true at all," Ava said rolling her eyes. "He's like the master of casual sex...just in the gay community."

"Exactly why telling him is bad idea," I groaned.

"Well, too bad, sent now," Ava said holding up her phone, "and oh looked he replied...that was quick. He says drinks Friday."

"Well I might need some alcohol to tell the truth," I sighed defeated.

"Are...you sure you have no feelings for him?" Ava asked, leaning on the counter closer to me.

"Ava," I moaned shaking my head.

"I know, I know," she sighed. "You said you don't but maybe that's why it keeps happening?"

I shook my head at her and she merely sighed once more before turning around and fixing up breakfast. I knew Ava was just trying to help but it was like she also wanted me to pull feelings out of thin air and that wasn't going to happen. I didn't feel like deep emotions when it was happening and I'm pretty sure it wasn't the answer. I really had no clue what was going on, I just knew I had never been so confused.