Chapter Seventeen: Let's Talk or Try To

I don't know why tonight seemed like such a big thing, but I guess the idea of talking about it with Clarke was different than talking about it with Kieran. We finished work mostly on time and since there really wasn't any point in me going home first or even taking a different cars to his place we rode together in his car, still driven by Trevor. Trevor, who wanted to talk to the whole time and had no idea what was going on. It was awkward to say the least.

Going up the elevator and walking into the hallway was just as awkward, we didn't talk, not yet anyway. I knew what I wanted to say I just didn't know how to say it.

"Are you hungry or anything? I can call Rosa to get something for us?" Clarke asked as we entered the penthouse.

"Rosa still works for you?" I asked him surprised, remembering Rosa as Henry's maid.

"Yeah, I grew up with her too. Only made sense to keep her on," Clarke shrugged.

"That's nice," I commented, "but no I'm okay for now. We should...get this over with."

"You make it sound like it's awful," Clarke rolled his eyes, sitting on the couch.

"You're my boss," I said plainly, standing away from him. "It's wrong that we...."

"Had sex? Twice?" Clarke finished for me.

I sighed as I looked at him. I realised he was slightly cocky about the situation but still genuine at the same time, if that was at all possible. I had been so worried about what I thought of the whole situation it had never crossed my mind what he thought of it.

I sighed and sat myself on the couch, still at a distant from him. "I was in a relationship last year, and it was intense but also probably the biggest relationship I've ever had. We broke up and I just shut down, closed myself to other guys and have been closed for the last year."

"Why are you telling me this?" he frowned.

"Because it's one the reason I think we slept together," I explained. "I hadn't opened up at all and I did you with you a bit once we got to Paris...and I guess my body took over a bit that night."

"You said one of the reasons?" Clarke said slowly.

"Ahh....well I think the other had to do with the tension we've had between us since we met," I told him. "I mean, we hated each other and then we didn't and we started to trust each other in Paris and I started to see you differently I think."

"You've really thought about this, haven't you?" Clarke asked, leaning forward.

"Haven't you?" I said slowly.

He paused but then nodded slightly. "Of course, maybe not that way you have, but of course. I guess you're right about the weird tension thing... I have always thought you were attractive, the moment I saw you, but hated you in the beginning. That can be confusing."

I immediately rolled my eyes at him.

"But...that morning in Paris when I wanted to talk that wasn't what I would've said," Clarke shrugged.

"Then what did you want to say?" I frowned at him.

"I wanted to say that it felt good," he answered. "That for once we weren't fighting and I think we've got along better since. That sometimes I solve my problems with sex but for us it works better than most...and that there's still this pull towards you that makes me just want to...fuck you."

His words had me heated. As he spoke he made it sexy, and it turned me on. He was right about the pull towards us. The sex between us worked...and it worked well, but that didn't mean it was the solution. Suddenly Clarke moved over and he was very close to me. I was already hot and bothered, and now I was losing control of my breathing.

"You can't deny there's something between us when we're like this," Clarke whispered to me, moving his hand to my cheek and brushed hair away from my face.

"Doesn't mean we should give into it," I muttered back, trying to stay calm. "You're my boss."

Clarke didn't respond and it only started to make everything feel more intense, and it didn't help that me was still cuffing my face. I thought I understood what I wanted and I had come in here expecting to follow that, but now he was so close to me I didn't know what to think again. My body wanted him, that was for sure, and after Kieran's advice my mind was getting there too. I hated to admit it but Kieran was right about the casual sex thing. I had gone on those set-up dates all year long, and not one had felt like a date because I had completely shut myself off from that...until I slept with Clarke. In the past week whilst I was confused obviously, I felt...good. I felt good about myself because of how it made me feel. No other random guy would give me that, surely.

Clarke suddenly inched closer to me and before I could really think our lips touched and we were suddenly kissing. I almost hated how good it felt, but it also felt great and I honestly missed this feeling, I had closed myself off to it for nearly a year after all. I moved my arms up to wrap my hands around his neck and pull him closer to me. He intensified our kissing and moved his hands down my body to my lower back. I thought it would end up being like the other night, were we had intense sex on the couch but Clarke decided to change that up.

He used his arms to pull me towards him, forcing me to bring my legs up and straddle him. This meant I was completely wrapped around him and he could pick me. He went slow getting off the couch, something I'm sure wasn't easy, but really impressed me, and he stood up all whilst we still kissed and I kept my legs wrapped around him tightly. Once up he started to walk, carrying down the hall and into one of the bedrooms, one I was pretty sure had always been Clarke's.

He placed me down on the ground once we were in the room, and the sound of my heels hitting the floorboards echoed slightly. We kept our faces together, still kissing as eagerly as before, our tongues now controlling the whole process. I knew looking back I should've had a million thoughts running through my head, and that I should've been thinking about not doing this again, but not one thought of confusion or regret ran through my head. Instead I wanted it badly. I knew how good it felt, I knew how much I liked it and I knew after we finished having our conversation I might never get the chance to have sex with him again....so really one last time couldn't hurt, could it?

I felt Clarke's hands come down to my shirt, I had worn a button up white blouse which I had tucked into my suit paints I had worn. I felt him pull out my shirt from my pants, unbuttoning them and pulling it off. I felt his hands over my body touching me slowly, sensationally, in fact he almost wasn't touching me, only slightly running his fingers above my skin, teasing me ever so slightly causing me to moan.

It always something that spurred Clarke on as I had learnt, a moan. He changed it up, moving his lips from mine and to my neck instead, strongly putting them on there. It gave me a chance to breathe which I did heavily but also didn't waste time and got my hands to Clarke's buttons on his shirt, wanting desperately to get it off, as nothing attracted me more to him then him shirtless, something I didn't get to see last time.

He helped me pull his shirt off once it was unbuttoned, removing his lips from my neck, allowing us to step back from each other for a second. Maybe this should've been the moment we stopped and come to our sense. Maybe it should've been the moment we both realised we were obviously completely fucked up inside to be doing this again....but none of that happened.

Instead I moved toward him quickly, going for his belt to get his pants off. Again, he helped pulled them off, eager to undress. With his pants off he grabbed and started to pull me towards to bed. I used each step to get out of my heels so I wouldn't have my shoes on, and once they were off Clarke spun me around quickly and then threw me onto the bed.

I hit his nice soft bed quickly, and before I could move he came down on top of me put his lips straight to mine. I responded hungrily, kissing him hard to match his tension. My arms had landed up on his side and he ran his hands down my arms and got to my hands. His fingers slowly intertwined into mine, our hands locking together, but then he took the opportunity to push my hands up together over my head. It was kind of dominate position for him, something he definitely liked doing, and whilst I liked it, it didn't last too long.

I took back control, breaking my arms free from his grip and then pushing them to his neck. I made sure my legs were positioned on both sides of him and started to roll. He realised what I was attempting and help me, rolling so he was now on his back and I was on top, straddling him. This made me feel in control and I liked that. It always made Clarke a little more excited too.

Clarke used this position to undo his pants and get them off, which was an easier task than I first thought because I honestly just wanted them off. I just had Clarke's boxers to get off now, again he was eager to help me with that. Doing so allowed his boner to completely break free as I had felt it there earlier before the boxers came off. There was slight relief from him to have them off and then even more relief once I placed my hand around it.

His whole body arched back, his head pushing into the pillow as I gripped on slowly moving my hand around. I was surprised how much my touch could do, but I also like watching him enjoy it so much, and seeing he couldn't control himself and the things I made him feel. So I kept going, moving my hand all around, moving up and down, and getting faster as I went and his breathing increased and his chest rose with each movement.

"Rory," he moaned. "Oh god, I'm getting close."

I stopped immediately at his words, looking at him directly in the eye as he turned to look at me once I stopped. He looked back and back up at me almost annoyed I had stopped. I lent forward close to his lips before I spoke.

"We can't have that now," I whispered, tracing my finger down his chest. "You've still got me to tend to."

"Come here," Clarke said seductively.

He was soft with his words but aggressive with his movements. He put his hand on the back of my head and the pushed me onto his lips, kissing me strongly. He then grabbed me around the waist and rolled us back over so he was top. He wasted no time to get the rest of my clothes off, especially my underwear, and then put his hand down my body until he found my entrance. I could feel him moving around, getting warm and wet but he wasn't going to get me there...not yet.

He lined himself up once he took away his hand and had scrambled for a condom in the bedside table draw. I felt him go in slowly and I immediately moaned. Our hips came together almost naturally and easily and everything felt electric. I don't know how long we lasted, I know we ended up using several positions, and moving so hard at times the bed moved and creaked along with us. Even though the intensity was as much as every other time and it felt good like before, it still felt different. I think I was letting go more and enjoying it. My body got warm and tingled as I got close and Clarke thrusted hard and I gripped into his skin. I felt my body suddenly go down in waves and I moaned with each move until I felt Clarke release too.

We both didn't move straight away, taking a few seconds for our highs to dime slightly. He then rolled himself off and lied down next to me, both of us breathing heavily.

"You're going to stay here tonight, "Clarke said suddenly.

"Why?" I frowned, sitting up.

"Cause, we didn't technically talk and we still need to," Clarke breathed, "but...there's no way I can now. I am...exhausted."

"Nice to know I'm that good," I said smugly, lying back down.

I felt Clarke nudge me slightly. "Does that mean you'll stay tonight?'

I sighed. "I guess...I'm not too sure I want to move anyway."

I felt him chuckle beside me and I turned to look at him slightly.

"Are you really that exhausted from that?" I asked him.

He curled his lips together ad nodded slightly. "I mean, I also work long hours now."

"Yeah, now you do," I muttered with a slight eye roll.

"You know why it took me so long, don't you?" Clarke spoke softly as he sunk into the bed.

I realised the conversation had quickly turned serious and I shifted to my side to look at him properly. "Maybe...but tell me."

Clarke sighed slightly peering up at me from the position he laid. He had hinted to the difficulty of taking over his father's business, but we had never really discussed it.

"That first day...I was there on time believe it or not," Clarke told me, "but I got to that building and it all just... hit me. My father worked there for years, most of his life was in this one building and he's really gone. I couldn't do it, Rory. I couldn't walk in there knowing I had no idea what to do or how to deal with it. It's why I didn't take his office. I can't live up to what my father did. I tried to...hide away from it I guess. I doubted myself so much I thought it was easier just to give up and not try and I wanted too...until..."

"Until what?" I frowned, leaning towards him.

"You I guess," he shrugged slightly. "You may have been hard on me but god knows I needed it to get off my ass. You made me realise the only way to actually make it okay wasn't to live with to my father but to make him proud instead. I can't be him...but I can be me, just a good version of it."

I paused as I watched him. I think it was the most emotional conversation we had ever had and I think we only had it because he was truly exhausted, but I appreciated it, the moment of vulnerability Clarke Watson had shown me for once. It made him feel real, completely real and not just some guy I had read about in the tabloids. Maybe there was so much more to Clarke Watson then I ever knew.