Book 5: Chapter 1 (12)

Dark Continent (1st)

After that, we silently continued on through the woods.

Just as Rodriguez had told us, we were able to clearly see the high wall looming over the forest through the canopy. It’s the Stonewall I built just yesterday. It’s well-made and acts as a key landmark for navigating. With such a prominent structure, even someone with a terrible sense of direction would be able to find their way.

With the landmark in sight, my adventure was finally starting in earnest. 

The Elixir of Youth had felt like a distant dream until only a few days ago. It’s almost within my reach. Just thinking about it gets me excited.

It had only been a few minutes since I asked the thick Elf to clear any low hanging branches for me.

I was enjoying the warmth from the sun’s rays filtering in through the canopy above when,

“Gyaaaa!”

A scream from somewhere in the woods.

It wasn’t me and it wasn’t Boo-chan.

It echoed out from somewhere deeper in the forest.

“That scream….”

“Yeah, it was nearby.”

Boo-chan’s expression hardened. She gripped her sword tighter and the muscles on her arms and thighs became more defined. Muscular girls really are great. They can look all nice and soft like any other girl, but when they get serious, their entire body changes in tone. It’s like having two bodies in one.

Humans tend to crave features that they lack in their partners. Boo-chan has clearly defined abs when she gets serious and it’s something a salary man like me never could dream of having. How many years did I have a gym membership for without ever going once?

Even Sophie-chan had some definition around her abs.

I love loli abs.

I wonder if she would ever let me touch her abs.

“What should we do?”

“We need to help. It’s most likely one of the parties that left the shop.”

“We’re on the Dark Continent. Can we really afford to save others?”

It hurt to admit it, but she has a point.

If several of those Phoenixes were attacking, it would be impossible to fight them while protecting someone. I wouldn’t even be able to run away. The Dark Elf said that monsters like that don’t exist in this area, but there’s still a chance something of that strength could be the cause of the screams. 

Memories of my fights with that masochist demon and the loligon flooded my mind.

“Then, we can sneak up and try to find out what’s happening.”

“…fu~n, you’re a weird man.”

Our marching order had changed and I was now in the front while the Nice Body walked behind me. This is perfect. Now she has a chance to check me out. The feeling of being watched by a beautiful woman was something I could get used to.

We proceeded quickly but carefully through the thick vegetation as we made our way closer to the screams.

After walking several metres a dire scene came into view.

There was a small clearing where several of the trees had been blown away.

“Oi, oi, oi, this isn’t good! Don’t die on me, Philip!’

“Damn that hurts…. You have to run, Alexander!”

A man, who I assume is named Alexander, was kneeling on the ground, cradling the body of another man (Philip) in his arms. The former looked like he was on the verge of death while the latter was in even worse shape. Philip had a large gash on his head and a crimson mask was slowly forming on his face.

Both were ikemen with long blonde hair.

You could even call them twins.

Especially the one on the ground. The way the blood is dripping from his forehead down to his chin is cool. Even if the source of that wound was him tripping and slamming his head into a wall, he’d be able to be proud of how cool it makes him look.

“Please, both of you, get out of here!” “We’ll protect you!” “I’ll never let either of you die!” “I’ll always find my way back to you!” “Please, run away!”

A small group of women were standing in front of them. The women were all covered in wounds as well, but they were all determined to protect the men behind them.

And I recognized them. It was the first party I spoke to in Suzanne’s. It was my failed harem party with the highest number of women. My harem. This is destiny.

I’ll show them that neither Philip or Alexander are worth their devotion.

“Wait, you girls can’t, ah….”

Philip tried to appeal to the girls.

“We can handle this! You two need to run!” “No matter what happens, it’s fine as long as you live!” “I’d happily sacrifice my body for you!” “I-It’s not like I’m doing this for you!” “This monster won’t be able to stop us!” “That’s right!”

Is this the power all ikemen hold?

More importantly, what kind of monster could decimate the harem party? I switched my focus to the other party. What I saw was not at all what I expected.

To put it simply, it’s a giant penis with tentacles. Two of them. They’re close to five metres tall, each with a thick central truck with one huge eye near the tip that was constantly moving while examining their surroundings, and tentacles coming from their base. 

The basic appearance was somewhat reminiscent of the ropers I had seen in the dungeon beneath Drill-chan’s castle. My first thought when seeing this creature: I need to have one in the slums of Dragon City.

However, its numerous tentacles were aiming to take the lives of the harem party. This creature’s habits are not nearly as refined as the Roper. That’s too bad, Meat Vibrator. We could have done great things.

“…what should we do?’

After observing the scene for a couple minutes, a nearby voice snapped me out of my fantasies.

I forgot the Dark Elf was here.

“Two Ropers may be difficult.”

“So that’s also a Roper.”

With her suddenly drawing so close to me, I was feeling nervous and excited.

Her thick body was lined up next to me and our shoulders were almost touching. If I glanced down to my right, I was able to get a great view of her chest. It was almost like I was her boyfriend standing next to her.

This position is amazing!

This gives an entirely different feeling of closeness than looking at a woman from the front or back.

“It’s known as an Evil Roper. Normal Ropers can’t even compare to these creatures.”

“….”

“But they’re still far weaker than High Demons.”

Thanks to our position, I noticed a faint smell of sweat was coming from the Dark Elf. This feminine smell gripped my middle-aged heart and wouldn’t let go. This insignificant smell was enough to get my heart racing. Both Ester-chan and Edita Sensei never smelled of sweat.

Strangely enough, it reminds me of Sophia-chan’s food.

“I see….”

I’ll start by checking their status windows.

Strangely enough, it reminds me of Sophia-chan’s food.

“I see….”

Hou~, similar stats to the Red Dragon.

I struggled against one on Mount Pepe, but now that my level is in the three digits and I have the amazing magic known as Stonewall, I’m confident I can beat two of them.

“I can probably handle them on my own. I’m going to help.”

“Seriously?”

“Stay here for now and hide. If things get bad, run away.”

“Even though I said they’re weaker, there’s still two of them. What’s wrong with this guy….”

“I’m going.”

“S-Sure….”

I turned my attention to the nearest Evil Roper and jumped out from the cover of the bushes.

The monster noticed me immediately  and began to wiggle its trunk around which visually looked like when you turn a vibrator on. It’s lone eyeball was locked on me.

The same went for the members of the harem party. They all turned toward me with a look of surprise. Considering their location, they must have expected another monster was about to attack.

Unfortunately, it was me, (Dio) the busamen.

“Stay where you are!”

A wild busamen appeared.

The wild busamen attacked.

“Fireball!”

I don’t exactly need to yell that out, but I do anyway for added effect.

After barking out my command, my favourite fire magic was ready to attack. I first aimed at the nearest Roper as a dozen volleyball-sized fireballs emerged around me. They surged towards the target in unison and were all direct hits.

The size of the monster made it easy for me to hit it without worrying about causing damage to the area or the harem party. If I plan on fighting in a party in the future, I’ll have to think carefully about what I do.

“Heeeaaaallll!

I subsequently focused my healing magic around Philip who was bleeding profusely from a hole in his stomach.

Is ‘Heal’ what I should shout when using my recovery magic?

It felt appropriate.

Again, it has no effect on the spell itself.

“W-Who is that!?” “Was that a fireball!?” “The Evil Roper…was defeated in one shot!” “Impossible! The Evil Roper’s magic resistance is even greater than a Red Dragon!” “How is this possible…?” “It shouldn’t be!”

Terrifying shouts came from the harem party as if they had spotted a ghost in a graveyard. Once the fireball had exploded and the Roper collapsed, the harem members’ attention turned to me.

It felt pretty nice having a group of beautiful women amazed by me.

The remaining Meat Vibrator was now acting cautious after seeing its ally so easily defeated. It put distance between itself and the girls. The way it moved was comical as its large trunk wobbled back-and-forth before snapping back upright.

For a brief moment, I almost couldn’t stop myself from laughing.

While forcing a cool expression on my face, I walked calmly to the centre of the clearing.

This is it.

“Leave this to me.”

I said it.

I’m so cool.

They were frightened for a moment, but once they recognized me their expressions changed to something that said, “Oh, it’s this guy.”

That makes sense.

They quickly denied me entry to their party earlier.

“I-It’s you….”

The leader was very tall but still looked as terrified as the rest of her party.

This woman was the one in charge of interviewing me.

I don’t even remember these two being a part of their party. I remember they were sitting alone in a secluded area of Suzanne’s so I never even got an opportunity to introduce myself.

“We can talk later. I’ll take care of this.”

“…I understand.”

Let’s finish this up quickly. 

Other monsters are likely to gather after hearing the sound of fighting.

***