Book 5: Chapter 5 (2)

Hangover

The refreshing liquor helped calm both my mind and body.

A gentle happiness began filling my mind.

After I had refreshed myself a little, I started looking around the shop once more.

Yep, the ratio of macho to non-macho is definitely high. The brief snippets of conversation I’m hearing around me sound like typical conversations of adventurers. They were mostly talking about the best places to hunt specific monsters or how some notable clan conquered a dangerous dungeon.

It was more easy going than I had expected and the conversations resonated with me.

I felt like I was capable of standing on equal ground with them due to my own adventures of the last several days. The fact that we were all drinking in the same place added to the sense of unity.

Thanks to this warm atmosphere, I finished my first drink in no time.

Before I knew it, my glass was empty and I had ordered my second and third glasses.

The alcohol was delicious.

Maybe the best I’ve ever had.

I can’t even remember the last time I had a drink. Even if I’ve had time to drink, I haven’t had anyone to drink with. This has led to me naturally refraining from drinking. Maybe that’s why I’m not holding back from ordering drink after drink.

“….”

I’m in such a good mood.

Maybe I’ll get some more food.

I was unsure of what to get as I looked through the menu.

As I was doing so, I suddenly heard a loud shout from behind me,

“You’ve got to be kidding me!”

This person sounded mad.

The yell was followed by the sound of clattering tableware or something similar. My attention was naturally drawn to the source.

It was just as I had imagined.

“A-Are you trying to pick a fight?”

“What was that?”

An exceptionally fit macho daruma was involved in an altercation with another man. He was in his mid-thirties while the other looked to be in his late teens. I could see the bulging muscles of the first man through his clothes.

The other man was much smaller. It was clear that he had trained his body to some extent, but the other man was far more intimidating. His face was also more scary.

“I think you heard me….”

“Shut up and die!”

The enraged macho daruma landed a punch straight onto the younger man’s nose.

It was a punch so fast it almost matched the loligon’s speed.

“Gya….”

The young man’s nose caved in and he crumpled to the ground.

He was instantly knocked out and now can’t move. I doubt he’s dead, but I’m sure he’s in a lot of pain. There were droplets of blood painting the wall and floor.

“Ah? What are you looking at?”

At some point our eyes met.

I couldn’t help it. He reminded me of someone.

“Eh? Ah, no, I….”

Have me met before?

This is the time to check his status window.

(TN: Otto has only appeared in the third chapter of the entire series. For reference, he was level 23 at that time.)

This is the same person I got involved with shortly after I arrived in Kalis. I remember that I was drinking alone back then as well. I was hit in the back of the head with a glass or something. I remember I had to apologize to him over and over before returning to the inn.

It’s a pathetic memory.

However, I’m not that person anymore.

I’ve fought dragons, built towns, and I’ve gone on many adventures; I’ve matured in my own way. The alcohol coursing through my mind and body has got my confidence up and maybe it won’t be so bad to become a barroom hero for one night.

Yeah.

That sounds good.

Barroom hero.

I’ve been waiting for a moment like this.

“You want to go ora!”

“….”

The threatening shout that came from me surprised even myself. The rumbling in my chest was something I was unfamiliar with. This is my time to shine.

This is the point of an adventure, isn’t it?

You must embrace the fever, Baron Tanaka.

“Did you ever consider how much trouble you’re causing for the store owner?”

I thought it would be cool to put him in his place with a few words.

I stood up from my table to make myself as imposing as possible.

“What did you say!?”

My cool words were met by a defiant roar from the macho daruma.

Several other voices added to the commotion that was slowly filling the shop. Most of them were amazed that someone like me would be standing up to someone like him. An unattractive, middle-aged man challenging a macho man that easily stands two heads taller than him. Surely, there can only be one outcome here.

But that’s not going to stop me.

Tonight, I welcome the stares of strangers.

“What are you waiting for? I can take you with only one arm.”

“Wha–!?”

That did it.

That was it.

A line befitting an ikemen.

If I’m able to keep showing off my cool qualities, maybe one of the girls in the shop will want to hook up with me. I know you have a flat, yellow face, but you’re so strong Oji-sama. Hug me, kiss me, impregnate me.

I think most middle-aged businessman are at an age where they’re actively looking for this form of somewhat forbidden sex. It’s quite the change from their normal lives. They’re constantly working to ensure they’re financially stable, living mundane lives in order to achieve this. This brief moment of danger and uncertainty is too much to resist.

“Bastard!”

The macho daruma rushed towards me, flinging tables and chairs out of his way as he went. He reminded me of a bulldozer. I’ll probably forget all of this by tomorrow. That’s too bad.

I wanted to remember the name of that alcohol.

“Die already!”

Just as he had done earlier to the young man, the macho daruma launched a lightning quick punch directed at my face. I reacted fast enough to raise my own hand and catch his in mine.

There was a loud crack as his fist connected with the palm of my hand.

“What!?”

I’m sure he never expected this. His eyes were already wide open in astonishment.

I can’t lie, I was unsure of it myself. But I’m glad it worked out. I was filled with anxiety wondering what would happen if it didn’t work, but that anxiety disappeared when all I felt was a slight impact on my wrist. 

The one thing I really didn’t account for was the warmth of the macho daruma being transmitted to me from his fist. It was a disappointing sensation as the heat was coming from a macho man around the same age as me. If I’m going to get hit, I’d rather it be by a cute girl.

“Is something wrong?”

“Y-You bastard, you think that’s all I got!?”

The man quickly moved his hand to his waist and reached for the sword that hung there.

“I’m gonna kill you!”

He pulled it out in one smooth motion and held the tip out toward me

A sword is on an entirely different level than a fist.

It’s also being wielded by a muscular man that’s trained in its use and who’s also lost all reservations due to alcohol. No matter how high my own status may be, there’s no ridding myself of the anxiety I feel. 

“…what’s wrong? Too scared to even make a sound?”

This calls for magic.

“I don’t know if I’d say that.”

I raised my hand and summoned a fireball.

It appeared in the space between our faces.

“Wha–!?”

“I’m not the strongest physically, so my main method of fighting is this.”

I don’t know if it’s possible for me to look any cooler.

In a room filled with adventurers that fight using swords or spears, I’m standing here with a swirling mass of flames. I never thought I’d be able to call myself the coolest person in the room.

“Y-Y-You bastard….”

“I know everyone gets a little full of themselves when they drink heavily. It’s only natural.”

I can speak from experience.

The alcohol I had earlier is what’s fueling me right now.

“Don’t you think you should call it quits for today? If you keep going like this you’ll likely be banned from the shop and I’m sure you don’t want that. Just head home for tonight and come back tomorrow to apologize. I’m sure it’ll all be fine.”

“….”

“Wouldn’t it be a waste to give up all the good food and drink here over some pointless altercation?”

I took a step back and posed this question to him.

What will he say?

“Pointless!? Aah, who cares! This isn’t even fun anymore!” 

“Isn’t it your own fault for drinking too much?”

“….”

This time, the man unexpectedly turned around and walked away.

Good.

Using my fireball in a place like this wouldn’t end well. It reminded me of the time I used it in Sophia-chan’s family’s restaurant on the noble mage. I should be able to control it well enough, but I can’t forget that my drunken state may have an effect on it.

“Oi, bastard, I’ll remember you.”

“The next time we meet I’ll be sure to buy you a drink.”

“….”

The macho daruma left the building leaving the destruction he created for someone else to fix.

He exited through the front door and quickly disappeared into the packed streets of the town. Once I was sure he was gone, I extinguished my fireball. It would be a disaster if something were to actually catch fire.

But, what is this strange feeling?

I feel like I’ve been in this position many times before, but this is the first time it’s ended so elegantly. The only damage done was to the young ikemen which happened before I got involved. He’s a top-class ikemen, so it doesn’t matter if he’s a little hurt or depressed.

So, basically, there was zero damage done.

“What the hell!? He actually did it!”

Someone shouted out from within the crowd filling the shop.

This voice was the start of a torrent of astonished voices praising my actions. The shop had been silent until this point but was now as lively as it was when I first entered.

“Oi, oi, did he really just take a punch from Mcfare!?” “He took it full force and didn’t even flinch!” “And he used magic without even chanting!” “Seriously!?”

“He looks completely useless but he’s actually strong!” “I’ve never seen anyone that colour before. Why is his skin so yellow?” “And his face is flat too!” Even so, that power is real!” “What an amazing ossan!”

Some of the things said hurt me to my core, but it was mostly favourable. Thanks to this, I was still in a good mood and decided to help out the young man that was still lying on the floor.

I knelt down beside him and as soon as the magic circle formed around him, the cuts and massive dent on his face disappeared.

“Uwa, he can use recovery magic too!?” “Get over here! This calls for a drink!” “He’s right! Come share a drink with us!” “I want to join in too!” “Are you also an adventurer?”

“I’ve hated that Mcfare guy for so long. I’m glad someone finally did something about him.” “Me too, I’m glad he’s gone.” “Where are you from?” “I don’t think I’ve seen you around before. Are you new to the area?”

All of the customers started surrounding and praising me.

I couldn’t believe it at first.

It’s making me feel good.

“No, umm, it wasn’t that big of a deal….”

At some point, someone had put a glass of alcohol in my hand.

I quickly downed the glass which caused the customers to cheer loudly. I told them how good it was and my glass was instantly filled again as if by magic. I quickly emptied it once more. This happened again and again. Drink, pour, drink pour.

How many did I drink?

My consciousness quickly faded and that was the last thing I remembered.

***