Chapter 247 - Special Chapter 2

"What?" asked An Qi Yan with her face still buried in her hands. She could not believe her own action. Her face was burning as she recalled what she just did to him.

Sima Erden gingerly removed them and before she knew it, he kissed her.

'PAAAANNG! PAAAAAANNNGGG!'

The sound of fireworks and children's laughter could be heard in the background but all An Qi Yan heard was the sound of her own heartbeat.

It was thumping so quickly that she thought she was about to have a heart attack.

She closed her eyes as she savored the kiss that she had been waiting for. It was light. It was innocent. It was nothing like those kisses they saw on TV...Yet, for An Qi Yan, it was the best kiss she ever had and one that she would never forget.

When Sima Erden pulled apart, he slowly opened his eyes and smiled sadly as An Qi Yan's face slowly disappeared from his sight.

.....

An Qi Yan smiled sadly at one of her fondest memory. Like before, she took Sima Erden's hand and brought him to a quieter area.

Once they were seated, she leaned against him as she asked, "Did you ever regret it?"

Sima Erden had foreseen the scene before. He knew what would happen. It was also the reason why he avoided any form of intimacy with her.

When they were at the beach that day, when he remembered the sight he once saw, he knew that no matter what, he cannot escape his fate.

"No. Never," said Sima Erden as he patted her knees to reassure her.

She took his hand and like that day many years ago, she kissed it softly before saying, "If you have avoided me, you could still see..."

"Maybe...Maybe not... But if I did not do it, I would never know how sweet you taste..." teased Sima Erden.

An Qi Yan blushed, "It's just a light kiss!"

"It was everything to me..." said Sima Erden honestly. Despite what her parents accused her of, they had never done anything shameful before. He was protective of her and he wanted to give her a proper name and title. Up until the day he left, the only thing they ever did was kissing.

After a long silence accompanied by the sound of the waves, An Qi Yan called out softly, "Erden..."

"Mm?"

"Are you leaving again?"

She looked at him with eyes that begged for the truth. He had aged and so had she. They were no longer children with burdens that they were afraid of and so there was no reason for any more lies between them.

Sima Erden sighed. He knew that lying would be futile. With a nod, he replied, "Tomorrow, a night flight to Milan."

With her fists clenched tightly, she asked bitterly, "If I didn't ask...When are you going to tell me?"

"Tomorrow... Before I leave..."

An Qi Yan scoffed, "After 30 years, you are still pulling that trick..."

"It's hard to say goodbye..."

"Why, Erden? Why? Why do you have to leave?" asked An Qi Yan as she tugged on his shirt.

Hearing the longing in her voice, he sighed and explained, "I still see the scene whenever I touch you...I don't want that to happen...I don't want that to be our fate..."

An Qi Yan looked away from him. Tears were threatening to fall but she refused to cry again. She had cried so much that year that she thought she would go blind from it.

After a long time, she said loudly, "Sima Erden."

"What?"

"If you leave this time, don't bother coming back again. I don't need you leaving and coming back into my life whenever you feel like it."

Sima Erden looked at her. He knew she was angry at him and that she was trying to control herself.

"Qi Yan..."

An Qi Yan shook her head. She did not want him to shake her resolve. With a clear voice, she said, "I'm no longer a child, Erden and yet, you keep insisting on treating me like one. I'll let you know. I'm a mother of two. I'm a divorced woman. By the eye of society, I'm a used good. So, if that scene is your biggest worry, let me tell you this..."

"...I'm not going to marry you. Even if you beg me to marry you, I'd reject you. I don't need a superficial thing like a marriage certificate. I just want to be with you! If we avoid having a wedding ceremony, then whatever you are afraid of would never happen..."

When he thought about her suggestions, she added, "...The world has changed since our time, Erden. If people call us out for living in sin, then so be it. For you, I'll be the greatest sinner on Earth. But... Can you?"