I was a little surprised by Evan’s words. Ever since some time, he had drawn an appropriate line for me so I thought he was aiming to be a couple who are friends between arranged marriages…
“Evan, we are married now, so why are you saying that…”
“I…”
It felt strange.
Because he was wearing a mask, I couldn’t see his face or even his expression. Still, my heart betrayed my will, and my heart pounded rapidly.
“…I’m always anxious about you.”
The sound of exciting music, the sound of lovers holding hands and dancing on their steps while hiding their identities, and the sound of laughter and all kinds of stories… Those things felt so far away right now.
“So, I think I’m going crazy sometimes.”
Suddenly, I had a strange feeling.
…Was Evan really an indifferent husband? A husband who didn’t touch me, someone who was somewhat indifferent no matter how kind he was, a friend of mine who had been close since childhood but kept a clear distance…
“However, you just go every now and then and show your face… As long as you remain as Princess Icard.”
I once again thought that Evan was very difficult.
“Still, sometimes, when you think of me like this and come to me in a frenzy among so many people.”
It was something that I had never thought of before coming to this world, that someone would be difficult.
“…Then, I can be happy forever because of that moment, no matter how nervous or anxious I am.”
At that moment, I felt a very unexpected feeling. My heart, which had only reacted to money, suddenly thumped and fell. The mask of a black cat whose expression was still unknown as the tip of my hair was being carefully touched by a large hand.
“Maybe, I am in desperate need of your sympathy.”
The low voice and the distant meaning of that voice.
‘…Ah.’
In the meantime, I didn’t know it well because we met face-to-face, but when I saw him wearing the mask, he was clearly a big man. I bit my lower lip quietly as if meeting a brand new person, feeling short of breath.
Time seemed to have stopped, and the world other than us was blurry.
‘Maybe, I…’
The little boy who was cute and shy at the beginning couldn’t come to mind anymore. At that time, the young Evan was easy and cute, although now, this man was difficult and somewhat vague.
“Laria, I…”
I was completely frozen and stared at him blankly.
“….”
For a moment, I was enveloped in a really strange feeling. A strange atmosphere that I thought had never existed between us… Whatever he had said earlier was different from what he meant.
“Evan.”
I glanced at his black cat mask as if whispering.
“Really, really, I know it’s a vain idea…”
My heart was beating strangely.
“Do you… Perhaps—”
It was irrational behavior.
Even though I just heard that he doesn’t like contact with women… Still, it was a question I wanted to ask. After hesitating for a while because it was a more difficult question than ever, I opened my mouth again.
“…Do you like me?”
It was only natural that Evan liked me because we had been friends since childhood. Besides, if he didn’t like me, his wife, that was another problem. So, more precisely than just liking…
“As, a…a woman you want to embrace, like a lover. Do you like me that much?”
He didn’t answer for a moment.
It was as if time was passing by in embarrassment.
Suddenly, I thought to myself that I was really impulsive. What if he answered yes here…? I didn’t even have the confidence to take on the matters after that, but I just threw the question. It was a very stupid question that I did not understand myself.
It was at the moment when a sudden surge of fear came up, and I was about to shout that he didn’t have to answer—
“…No.”
He replied in a whisper.
My hair fell out of his hand.
“I…I never thought of wanting to embrace you like that…”
My body, which had been so tense, was relieved. Although I had expected it from the moment he asked not to share the same room.
“…Never.”
“I see.”
I replied with a forced smile. Even though I thought I would be really happy to hear this, somehow, I was disappointed.
“I’m sorry, I sounded pointless.”
“I am happy now.”
Evan’s voice softened in an instant.
“If we can live like this for the rest of our life, that’s it — like a friend, like this number one close friend.”
“Number one close friend…”
I murmured for a moment and then asked back.
“Evan, who is your number two friend then? I’m sorry, but I really don’t know your friendship.”
His answer was quick.
“There is no number two.”
“Ah… I will cancel the apology. I knew your friendships very well.”
Evan said nothing more. He just kept silent under the black cat mask and didn’t even ask me what I thought.
‘…He’s like a knife. Nonetheless, I’m his wife, so isn’t he cutting me off too much?’
That night was definitely a strange night. I got back on Evan’s back because my ankle hurt. However, in the distance, I saw two men and women wearing white butterfly masks, talking like me and Evan in a remote place.
‘It’s Elanie and Seymour.’
I thought as I rested on Evan’s back.
‘It was also an event that brought the two closer together. The power of the original story is so great…’
I wrapped my arms around Evan’s neck more and fell into a strange thought.
‘…Evan doesn’t know why.’
The moment he fiddled with my hair, I really thought Evan might like me, as Serena had warned from childhood. I just felt that way, even though it wasn’t in all circumstances.
..If he liked me as a woman, why didn’t he touch me and even give me a room? We are an official couple, and our relationship isn’t bad. Then, it meant there was no reason for him to hesitate at all if he wanted me.
‘Why don’t we hold hands and give me a light hug like when we were young?’
Two years had already passed since Evan came of age. In the meantime, he hadn’t touched my body. But nevertheless…
I buried my face in his broad back.
‘Though what if I just feel like that? What can I do…? That’s how I feel.’
What should I say if he really liked me? What happened when Serena said I have to be constantly on the lookout…?
‘I… I—’
I honestly didn’t hate it. Although we married without even seeing our faces when they were young, we eventually became close and were friendly throughout. No matter how hard I tried to turn away, I was saddened by the distance he put from me.
…If only he comes to me a little bit more, a little bit more.
‘He’s good as a family, he’s good as a friend, so I think he’ll be fine as a man…’
If so, couldn’t I just say everything and make a really selfish choice? Actually, your father might be trying to kill me… If you like me, please ask him to stop?
‘Oh, that’s going to be a real sword fight and a mess in one way or another.’
I once even had a desire to turn Evan into an immoral person who would be blinded by love and gave up even reviving his mother.
‘No matter how selfish I am, this won’t do. Let’s not expect that.’
So far, I had been steadfastly going straight on my own to run away, yet my thoughts continued endlessly. And, no matter how much I thought about it, it wasn’t worth my life.
‘Let’s not think too deeply… It’s all my misunderstanding, so why risk my life to hope for Evan.’
Thinking about it objectively, Evan had already cut it off. He expressed that he didn’t like me as a woman and that he never thought of wanting to embrace me. Because of that, I managed to clear the fuss from my head.
‘You’re old, Laria. In the past, you had good sense and quick wits… I can’t believe I’m using my feelings too much now.’
Rather, if Evan said he likes me, things would get terribly complicated, so I have to push it away. Serena, too, had been warning me for years that this shouldn’t happen. Nevertheless, I still got really selfish.
I felt sorry for Evan again and hugged his neck tightly.
“…Evan.”
“Why?”
“Did you buy a fortune cookie? Almost everyone was reading the fortune telling.”
“No.”
“No, why? You don’t want to stand in line?”
“Not for that reason.”
“Then, why?”
I asked desperately, wondering if there was anything I had missed in the business idea.
“I will never see anything like that in my life.”
So, it was a human problem, not the item’s problem. I was relieved a little at his words. Evan’s words continued as I sighed in relief.
“I think it’s obvious that bad fortune telling will come out anyway.”
“…What? No way.”
I shook my head violently behind his back. I was going to quickly deny that his unhappy childhood had made him extremely pessimistic, but he persisted.
“No matter how lucky I was to be born, I must have spent it all on meeting you.”
…I suddenly thought that I hoped that this road, while I was being carried by Evan, would never end forever.
“I think it is impossible to wish God for further luck. Oh, I haven’t been baptized, so can I ask for more?”
“….”
“Don’t get sick, Laria. If you get sick, I will, too.”
I couldn’t say anything because I was afraid.
“I wish I had that kind of luck in my life that you wouldn’t get sick.”
With only strange emotions in my heart, the masquerade ended like that.