CH 101

— Laria Rose Icard.

The scroll book’s voice echoed in my head. It was as if there were only the scroll book and me in this world.

— Hmm, let’s see.

The scroll book that had been running through my head uttered in a cautious voice.

— Great. The bet is like this

“…What?”

I asked, swallowing a gulp.

— If you don’t say that you want to stop watching this fantasy for the next five minutes, you win.

“Okay.”

So, it must be a fantasy that would make me feel very painful… to the extent, I would tell the scroll book to please stop showing it?

Was it a fantasy that Duke Icard would eventually die? Or was it a fantasy of losing all my money and begging on the street? That was all the miserable fantasy I could imagine.

‘Maybe, I can survive in about five minutes.’

Because that was what I’ve done in my previous life. Didn’t in my previous life, I live a miserable life as an orphan without money and eventually die?

As I confidently waited, a video unfolded in front of me as if I had stepped into a movie.

‘Bring it on, see what Laria looks like! But if I were you, I’d kiss up the back alley boss and beg for forgiveness!’

It was when I was firmly determined. However, in the video that unfolded in front of me…

‘Uh? Evan…?’

It was very young Evan.

‘I think he was six or seven years old.’

— This is… A fantasy, but it actually happened.

The scroll book’s voice echoed in my head.

— It was the childhood of the child who came with you.

So, it seemed like it was before I met Evan.

I held my breath and looked at the video. It seemed that he was eating alone in his room. Even though there was a maid serving the meal, there was a suffocating silence. After he ate and drank, little Evan put down his fork and said.

“What is father doing?”

“Ah.”

The maid rolled her eyes in embarrassment.

“I do not know…”

“Can I just go to the academy then?”

“Oh, maybe… But in case, shall I tell the Duke?”

“No need. I can go by carriage anyway.”

It was probably the day Evan went to the academy for the first time.

“I thought I should greet him, but it would be better if I just went alone.”

The maid was restless and only lowered her head. It must have been a state where she couldn’t even say, ‘You still have to greet him before you leave.’ Though as Evan got up with a well-groomed look, the maid sputtered.

“If you wait a little bit, the chef said he would make a cake. It’s your birthday, so you have to at least taste it.”

“It’s okay.”

…What?

It was his first day at the academy, and it was also even his birthday? However, how was he spending it so lonely?

“I don’t really want to eat. I’ll just go.”

This was a really serious problem. Seeing that Evan refused sweets, it must have been really depressing.

“Bess.”

“Yes? Yes.”

“Is father really sending me to the academy because he doesn’t even want to see my face?”

“….”

I felt like I was about to fall by the back of my neck.… No, when a child asks such a question, shouldn’t you say it was wrong even if that was true?

“…Let’s go.”

“Will you be okay?”

“Maybe, the academy would be better.”

“….”

“At least, I won’t be alone there.”

Eventually, Evan rode the carriage alone and went straight to the academy without being seen off.

‘Ah, what is this…’

I was utterly immersed in the video, and it took my breath away. The same expressionless face on young Evan’s face made it even more painful. At an age when he should be loved by his parents while acting cute…

‘Of course, I didn’t really do that either.’

As the carriage moved away, the background of the video changed once.

‘I think it’s the academy.’

Evan was walking down the hallway in his school uniform alone. Behind him, I heard the children gossiping.

“Why did the son of Duke Icard come here?”

“Is he really Icard? Did you hear it wrong?”

“If it’s the Duchy, don’t they have enough money to hire a tutor? Why is he in the academy?”

“Hey, haven’t you heard the rumors? This is why hillbillies are not allowed.”

One of the children smirked.

“Duchess Icard died giving birth to the Lord. That’s why Duke Icard didn’t even look at his son’s face.”

“What? really?”

“Yes. It is a fact that all the capital nobles know.”

There was no change in Evan’s expression, but I instinctively knew he was listening to all the conversation.

“After the Lord was born, the atmosphere of the Duke’s residence completely changed. Everyone is depressed. Even after a few years, it doesn’t change.”

“No, but it’s not the Lord’s fault…”

“It’s not the Lord’s fault, but it’s because of the Lord.”

If this wasn’t a fantasy, I wanted to grab them by the neck and shout that they are doing the most wrong thing here and now.

“So, even during parent-visiting classes or Family Day, Duke Icard doesn’t come at all.”

“I see.”

The children murmured thoughtfully.

“If I think that my mother is going to die because of my younger sibling… To be honest, I really would hate them.”

…I really hated that kid.

As I watched Evan, who was alone without expressing any emotions, my heart ached. I came with the expectation that I might not be alone, and I was rather more lonely.

“But, since he was going to become Duke Icard later, wouldn’t it be better to be close to him?”

“But, since he is the son of a Duchy, would he treat low-ranking nobles like us as people?”

“Look at his face… Honestly, it’s scary.”

“Right. If we get along for nothing and get into a relationship, it’s just troubling. We might get caught pretending to be friendly without knowing our place.”

Evan continued to be alone throughout his academy days.

“Well, look. It would be uncomfortable to share a room with me, right?”

His roommate even packed all his belongings and left.

“Paul in Room 302 is small, so it doesn’t matter if we both sleep in the bed! So, I’ll stay there. I also told the principal!”

The next day, the head of the dormitory bowed his head, saying that he was sorry that the son of the Duchy was using a shared room without consideration.

“It’s my first time serving a high-ranking noble’s son… I’m sorry. I should have given you a private room.”

And from the very next time on, only Evan was assigned a private room. I watched him keep his diary by himself.

[ I wish mother was still alive. ]

I seemed to know how many emotions were implied in that sentence.

[ So I want to grow up normally. ]

Evan’s quill moved slowly.

[ I wish I could share even a word of proper conversation with my family and friends. ]

I ended up wiping away some tears.

The video continued. Evan was thirteen, a senior at the Academy, and until then, he had always been alone. Among them, he took first place in the youth swordsmanship competition. He also sent the news that he got the first prize to the Duke’s residence, although there was no reply.

[ I’ll be returning to the duke’s residence soon, but I don’t know if everyone will be okay with my appearance. ]

Looking at his diary, I imagined how he would have felt standing alone at the academy graduation ceremony.

And, the room next to Evan’s dorm.

“We’re graduating soon.”

The boy with his brown hair full of freckles said with his eyes shining.

“Wouldn’t it be helpful if I talk to Lord Icard a little later?”

“Hey, you were the one who said back in the day, pretending to be close for nothing would be troubling?”

“It was when I was young.”

The boy confidently crossed his arms.

“It’s only a few months. Can’t I just please him in that short period of time? Even though he’s been alone all this time, wouldn’t Lord Icard feel a little lonely?”

I knew the ending with the boy.

“I received a letter from your teachers two months ago. Why did you beat Viscount Gerdy’s son?”

“He deceived me. He called me a friend, and he cursed and slandered me from behind.”

That brown-haired boy was Viscount Gerdy’s son, whom I met at the Foundation Ceremony. It was obvious that he would approach Evan, pretend he was the best friend in the world, and chuckle from behind, saying, ‘Lord Icard is no big deal.’

Evan even found out about it…

‘It was not a matter to simply pass on.’

I bit my lower lip slightly.

‘Evan has been lonely for a long time and then got betrayed by his first friend.’

In an instant, I was overcome with the urge not to want to see this fantasy anymore. Knowing the ending, I didn’t want to see it anymore.

“Excuse me, Lord. Hello.”

One class time, the guy started talking to Evan, timidly.

“Have you found a partner for a pharmacology experiment? Won’t you join me?”

Up until now, Evan had always had no experimental partner, so he was always with the teacher. The slight smile on his face made me even more upset.

“…Yes.”

“Actually, I wanted to be friends with Lord for a long time… Now, I have the courage.”

Look at this detestable child…?

‘Only three weeks before? He could have done it six weeks ago.’

At the same time, I was so annoyed that I wanted to shout something like, ‘I want you to stop, I know everything behind you anyway!’

‘That arrogant brat is amazing.’

I sighed and thought.

‘I’m fine with the painful future that hasn’t come yet, but I really don’t like the painful past that Evan went through.’

It was like reading the sweet part of a novel with a guaranteed sad ending. The urge to turn it off suddenly began to rise. What was with the scroll book? …Would it be possible to just jump out alone?

‘Since when did I start thinking about escaping by relying on magic like that…?’

Do I really have to watch this painful scene?

That was when it was slowly becoming more rational.

‘I, just stop… Ugh!’

I was about to declare surrender, but my head snapped, and my hazy mind returned.

— Oh, what is it?

I heard the scroll book’s voice.

— What kind of bastard put a barrier?