Chapter 60 - You Should Let Go Of Your Fears

Fidelia was still shocked by what Alex said. She couldn't believe that the girl to whom marriage was the most ridiculous thing in the world, that was only created to hurt people's feelings, actually told her that she wanted to get married! Alex didn't believe that a man could love a woman for his whole life. That's why Fidelia could not believe Alex was talking about committing her life to one man for the rest of her life. 

"So did you say yes?" Fidelia finally asked the question, she was just too curious about Alex's answer and her motives.

"Yes, I gave him my answer not too long ago..." Alex nodded with a shy smile on his lips.

Fidelia smiled, she was somewhat glad that Alex opened her heart like that. She had always been worried about her friend, always telling her that she would surely end her life alone, but now that she was considering marriage, she could rest easy. However, as she looked at Alex, she remembered one important point. "Wait a minute, are you sure about this? I mean, you know that as a wife you will be intimate with your husband. Are you ready for that?"

"You know I am not ready at all! But since he's the only one who can touch me without making me sick, I figured if I had to be with someone, it should be him, and I am glad it's Eliott..."

"Baby girl, I think you are taking this too lightly. I know he's not pushing you into anything right now, and I sense he's a true gentleman, but he's a man and he had needs. And I cannot imagine him being fine every night with a gorgeous woman like you by his side! Even though I could see him being someone who will not force or cheat on you, if you cannot open up, he will be unhappy and so will you. But I am still happy for you, you are getting married!!!" Fidelia burst into tears of joy. 

"To tell you the truth, I only accepted his proposal because I thought it would help me avenge my mother and grandfather. And to be honest, I was thinking of divorcing him after about two years." Alex averted her eyes as she spoke. She knew what she was saying was not good at all, she knew she was just using Eliott to achieve her goal, so she could not look her friend in the eye.

"Alex, I think it's really wrong to do this. Did you talk to him about the divorce before you said yes? Because I don't think it's in his plan to divorce you after two years, or at all. I think if that's what you think and want, you should talk to him about it before you go further in this relationship. But Alex, I think if that's what you decide to do, you should not think about divorce, that would be really wrong. I mean Eliott is a good catch and he's good to you and for you, plus at least you can touch each other, maybe he's the only one for you!"

"The thing is, I don't want him to hold back when he's with me. I don't want him to be unhappy when he's living with me, so I cannot help but think about leaving him at some point." 

"Why would you want to leave him when all you need to do is let go and open your heart a little more. He's a great guy, don't lose him just like that without fighting! Until when will you let the past come between your happiness? Besides, what difference will it make between you and the people who you don't like, those ones you think marriage is a joke?" Fidelia sighed, she felt sorry for her friend, she could actually understand her way of thinking, but she just found it too sad that Alex was still so attached to her past.

Across town, chaos reigned in the Porter family home. Sheila was furious over the outcome of Aria and Eliott's engagement and she could not take it for that woman and her daughter to stand in her way once again. After Alix's death and after getting her husband to reject Alex, she thought things were over, that she would never hear those names again, but now they were back and upsetting everything in her life. Aria cried and begged her father to let her marry Eliott. She couldn't stand the idea of Alex winning again, why would she give up because of her again!!! 

Alan could not take it anymore, his family was just a bunch of idiots in his eyes and he could not care about them anymore!

"Why are you whining now? If everything is messed up, it's because of your stupidity! Now I have to beg a daughter I disowned to help me! So don't mess with me anymore! I don't want to hear or see you! Leave now!" Shouted Alan angrily. He already had a headache thinking about the humiliation of asking Alex for help.

Aria and her mother, scared out of their wits, quickly disappeared, taking their frustration with them. 

Alex was lost in her thoughts. She was thinking about the conversation with Fidelia when she heard her phone. It was a message from Eliott telling her that the Porter family had just left his family house and that she would surely receive a call from Alan in the next few days. After reading this message, her mind was even more on Eliott and she decided to call him. 

"Hello, are you back?" 

Eliott instantly curled his lips up as he took the call, "Hi sweetie, I am on my way back. And why is that? Miss me already?" 

"I just wanted to talk to you, can you call me when you get back?" Alex was already down after talking to Fidelia, so she was not as playful as usual.

Eliott sensed something was wrong and frowned, thinking about what could have made him smiling future wife unhappy. "Alright, I'll be at my apartment in twenty minutes. I'll meet you there." Eliott gave her his pin code before ending the call.

Hearing their conversation, Fidelia was a little taken aback and thought, "She's not really going to tell him about the divorce, is she?". It made her uncomfortable and she knew her best friend. She needed some reassurance that it was not what she thought.

"Are you going to tell him you are already thinking about divorce when you have only just given him your consent? Are you really sure you need to go that far? I mean, you just need to enjoy the happiness he brings to your life. Honestly, I am happy to see you smiling these days, and it's all because of him. Don't screw this up because of your fears, Alex." Fidelia was more worried about her friend than she was at this moment. She didn't want her to lose the man of her life.

"I just don't want him to suffer because of me. I am just offering him a way out. If we can deal with me being like this, that's best, but honestly, if I am still like this while marrying him, it's best for us to break up. He deserves to be happy" Alex's eyes were sad as she thought about leaving Eliott, but she honestly didn't know what else to do.

"No, the best thing you can do is go into healing mode. If you trust men a little more, you might get better. You just have to tell yourself that not all men are like your father, Alex, he's not your father, and you know it! If you have given your consent to this marriage thing, that means you have faith in him, so why don't you give in to yourself and let go of all those fears that are holding you captive?" 

"That's what I want to, Fifi, but it's not so easy to do! And if I hurt him because I am like this, I'll be even sadder for myself and hate Alan even more. Now I wish I was like every other woman so I can be happy because a handsome, seductive, charismatic, intelligent, and lovable man is asking me to marry him! But I just can't feel comfortable, I can't just think about my happiness, I have to think about his too... He's a great guy who deserves to be happy and appreciated." At this point, Alex had tears in his eyes.

Fidelia felt sorry for her friend. She couldn't pretend to be in her place because she couldn't understand her pain, but as a friend, she still thought it best to give her a piece of her mind. "I think you will hurt him even more if you tell him about your plans for divorce now... But still, the decision is yours.

Fidelia hugged her friend to comfort her as best she could.. She was truly happy for Alex because she loved someone now, and she hoped Eliott could help her and heal her wounds.