Chapter 81

The man reading realized that someone came in, looked up, took off his headphones, bumped his knees and whispered, "get up." "Not finished." The man playing with his mobile phone whispered coquettish. The next moment, his cell phone was confiscated. He muttered and had to turn over and stand up. Gong Yingxian frowned, vaguely aware that the atmosphere between the two people was unusual. Ren Yi was stiff and his brain exploded like a bomb, which took everything around him, leaving only a blank. Qi Xiao's eyes turned back and forth on their faces and immediately understood something. Recalling the scene of seeing Dr. Gong twice and the "blind date" mentioned by Ren Yu last time, in fact, he should have guessed it long ago. Qi Xiao smiled at himself. Ren Yu left him face. He had to throw it out. It was really embarrassing. What happened in front of him made Gong's heart and lungs burst. He had never been so angry. He felt the hatred of being cheated, betrayed and plundered, and the sadness of being tarnished with something that can never be touched by anyone. Gong Yingxian threw the things in his hand to the ground. His expression was stiff and distorted. He stared at Qi Xiao with fierce and cold eyes. He clenched his teeth and spit out a word: "roll." Qi Xiao was shocked by the hostility of Gong Yingxian. His back was cold, like a jackal eating with a tiger. His heart was full of fear. He subconsciously stepped back two steps. "I don't want to touch you." Gong Yingxian roared ferociously, "get out!" Qi Xiao shook his shoulder and ran away. In the empty corridor, only two people remained silent, and the cold air seemed to solidify with the suffering time. Ren Yu's mind is in a mess. It is the basic quality of a fire commander to stay calm in the face of danger. Ren Yu has proved his professionalism countless times in his career, but he has confused his mind several times when he comes across things related to Gong Yingxian alone. At this time, he didn't even dare to see Gong Yingxian. He was afraid to see disgust in the face he deeply loved. The only thing left in his mind was that Gong Yingxian knew. Gong Yingxian knows that he is a "disgusting" pervert. Gong Yingxian came to Ren Yu step by step and said in a cold voice, "look up at me." Ren Yi closed his eyes and summoned up the courage to look up. He just shook uncontrollably and looked away when responding to the eyes of Shanggong, which were brewing a storm. "You are..." Gong Yingxian found it hard to say those three words. Ren Yi took a breath and whispered, "I am." He doesn't want Gong Yingxian to know, but he won't deny it. If he denies it, he indirectly admits that sexuality is the original sin. He doesn't feel guilty. He just likes someone he shouldn't like. Gong Yingxian clenched his fist and asked hard, "Qi Xiao is your boyfriend." He finally understood the unusual atmosphere between Ren Yu and Qi Xiao, and everything had a reasonable explanation. Just when he was glad that he was Ren Yu's "best friend", Qi Xiao had a closer and more important relationship with Ren Yu. They hug, they kiss, they say things that only lovers can say. Where he can't see, they will do more intimate things and say more intimate words. Qi Xiao has more, longer and more complete Ren Yu than he has. At the thought that there is another person in the world who can touch Ren Yu's body, kiss Ren Yu's lips, get along with Ren Yu day and night, laugh and laugh, Gong Yingxian hates to kill. At this moment, watching others do what he wanted to do to Ren, he finally understood what Ren meant to him, and the joy, desire and impulse had a reasonable explanation. It's not that he was ignorant, but because of his experience as a teenager, he has always excluded this group, so he didn't include this possibility from beginning to end, consciously or unconsciously. But now he knows that his impulse to Ren is sexual impulse. He not only regards Ren as a friend, but also wants to have, possess and use everything of this person. But the opportunity for him to understand was the fact that Ren Yu didn't belong to him at all! Ren Yu opened his mouth, but he couldn't make a sound. He dared not answer the question. If he said no, what would Gong Yingxian think? Homosexuality itself has been extremely unbearable in Gong Yingxian's mind. If they only have physical relations, wouldn't it be more and more unbearable to use Gong Yingxian's simplicity and cleanliness? Gong Yingxian's cold, ferocious and resentful eyes have penetrated his heart like a sword. He is afraid to bear more. He hates that what is happening now is just a nightmare, so he can at least deceive himself and others and continue to stay with Gong Yingxian as a friend. "Isn't it!" Gong Yingxian roared. He wants Ren to deny it. Even if he sees it with his own eyes, he still wants Ren to deny it. If Ren denies it, he... He may... But Ren's silence is tacit in his opinion. Gong Yingxian fiercely grabbed Ren Yu's collar. His tall body cast a shadow over Ren Yu's head like a mountain. He said in a dumb voice, "what about me? You're gay, you have a boyfriend, what about me? You've been hiding from me for so long, what do you think of me?" Ren Yu dodged Gong Yingxian's eyes and felt his heart cut like a knife. He whispered, "I... Hide it from you because you and you won't agree. But I don't have... No disrespect for you. I just treat you as a friend." At the end, he said, the ending trembled so much that he had to resist the urge to cry. He has reached the point where he is ready to come out, but he still has to say he doesn't like the person he likes. He never knows that telling a lie will betray himself like himself. He betrays his instinct with his reason and stabs himself. The knife sees blood. Gong Yingxian stared at Ren Yu's pale face. After his brain completely digested and interpreted this sentence, his eyes became red. He grabbed the hand of his collar and made a gurgling sound because of excessive force, as if he was holding Ren Yu's neck. He said in a cruel voice, "you never have any idea about me." "..." "when you go to my house, when you eat together, when you are under the ruins, when you are hospitalized, in recent months, you hide your sexuality and come into contact with me. You never have any idea about me, from, to, or from?!" Ren Xuan's lips trembled. He felt that he was being executed. Gong Yingxian's eyes and words were lingchi's knife. Gong Yingxian's big hand stuck Ren Yu's jaw, forced him to lift his face, face himself, and ordered, "look into my eyes and say." Ren Yu was finally forced to look directly into Gong Yingxian's eyes. His deep and beautiful pupils carried the joy, care, trust and tenderness caused by him. Now it's all gone. What he fears most has happened. When Gong Yingxian knows the truth, there is only cold, fierce and angry in his eyes. Ren Yu endured great sadness and hoped to recover some lost ground. As long as Gong Yingxian didn't look at him like this, he was willing to betray himself and make all compromises, so he insisted with his remaining calm and armed expression that was about to chapped, "No. Ying Xian, I know what happened when you were a teenager. I understand you, but I'm different from the kind of person you think. I won't harass others, commit crimes, or... I don't want you to be prejudiced against me and make you uncomfortable. That's why I hide it from you. I just treat you as a friend and want to be your friend. I absolutely don't have any... Shouldn't have any ideas." After saying this, Ren Yu felt that his heart had been hollowed out. Like is originally a very beautiful thing. It is he who makes love shameful and shy. But he can't help it. Today he's completely awake. He won't fantasize about what the result will be with Gong Yingxian. Well, at least, he wants to protect Gong Yingxian and their memories. He wants to prove that there is pure friendship in the world, and their beautiful past is by no means repeating Gong Yingxian's "disgusting" experience. But these words only made Gong Yingxian more angry and unforgivable. He even had an impulse to tear Ren Yu down and eat into his stomach. In this way, the man would no longer say what he didn't want to hear, do what he didn't want to see, and tell him what had happened between them in the past. It was nothing and meaningless. He leaned close to Ren Yu's ear and whispered, "do you think I'm a fool?" Ren Yu felt his hair stand on end. "I may not understand the secular norms of interpersonal communication, but I'm not stupid." Gong Yingxian's voice could not hide the resentment of being cheated and betrayed. "You always have a boyfriend. What were you thinking when you called me 'Lao Gong', when you got up because of me, and when you were lying in the same bed with me? When he was away, I was your pastime, right? You must be proud to see me being teased by you like an idiot?" Ren Yu stared and said, "no! No!" He felt unable to argue. In Gong Yingxian's eyes, how could he become such a person! "You make me sick, too." Gong Yingxian spits out the meanest and most vicious words in Ren Yu's ear. At this moment, the instinct of survival made him just want to use all means to stop the pain. He hates Ren, he hates Ren belonging to others. He hated that Ren Yu made him a policeman, and even gave birth to the impulse to imprison people and let them belong to him. There was no glory in Ren Yu's eyes, and the whole person was like a evacuated soul. This sentence almost pushed him to hell. Gong Yingxian felt sick of him. His favorite person thinks he's disgusting. Gong Yingxian let go. If he stayed here again and looked at Ren Yu again, he was afraid that he would do something irreparable. So he walked away without looking back. His back was no longer as straight as usual, and his shoulders seemed to bear a heavy burden. Ren Yi raised his hand to cover his eyes, but tears came out of his fingers uncontrollably. In fact, he should have expected such a day. He was amorous and complacent. Gong Yingxian only regarded him as a friend, but he wanted more. As a result, he ate the consequences and hurt Gong Yingxian. He made Gong Yingxian lose his only and important friend and forced Gong Yingxian to recall his terrible experience. Gong Yingxian has been carrying too much pain. He has to make it worse. He hurt someone he only wanted to protect. He is a selfish, useless bastard. Suddenly, the intercom in Ren Yu's pocket made a sandy sound: "team Ren, something's wrong, hurry to the monitoring room!" Ren Yi struggled to support his body, wiped his face, pressed the intercom, and said in a deep voice, "come right away."