Chapter 21 - The Mixture Of Feelings

In the evening, around 5 pm there was a knock on my bedroom door while I was reading a book. I looked at the door as it opened and Yohan peeked inside.

“Hey.” He greeted me as he half entered the room.

“Oh, hey.” I closed my book and put it aside.

“How are you feeling?”

I blushed lightly, “I’m fine. Thank you for all the sweets.” I looked at him softly, “You even bought painkillers for me.”

“Yeah. I wasn’t really sure but I’ve heard it hurts a lot so…”

I giggled shyly, “My cramps aren’t as bad. So one tablet was more than enough to make me feel all better.”

He smiled gently, “That’s good.” My heart skipped a beat. How can his smile be so charming?

I looked down and started fidgeting with my thumbs, “Sorry I had to ask you to get my stuff for me.”

I heard footsteps approach me. Yohan walked up to me and crouched down on one knee in front of me, then patted my head softly, “It was no problem at all. On the contrary, I’m happy you asked me.”

There was this weird feeling.

A sensation of warmth that was bubbling inside my chest.

It was filling me up.

I bit my lower lip while I shied away.

I probably hurt his feelings when I feigned ignorance this morning and yet here he is, acting so sweet and reliable.

Even though the situation was sort of humiliating for me, he’s acting to make sure that I’m okay and that I know he’s not a teeny bit annoyed or disgusted by it.

He got up, “I just wanted to see how you were doing. I’ll be leaving then.” I nodded and he walked towards the door but stopped in the door frame, “If you want to eat something special. Let me know. I have a lot of work piled up so I’ll be in my room if you need anything.”

At that moment I suddenly decided something.

I finally looked at him, “Yohan?”

“Yes?”

“Will you be free the coming weekend?”

“I’m not sure. I usually bring the stuff left from work home to complete them. Why?”

“Um,” I gulped, not sure how to ask him but I really want to say it yet at the same time I’m having mixed feeling, “It’s that,” I gulped again and decided to say it while not looking at him, “I was wondering if we both could have dinner together…” I glanced at him, “Somewhere in a restaurant.” I think it clicked in his mind what I was trying to say, “Like, I mean, if you’re free.”

“Yes!!” He replied so fast I turned my head at him in surprise, “I’ll make time. No matter what.” He grinned and I couldn’t help but smile as well. “Saturday?” He asked.

I nodded, “Saturday.”

***

The week passed by like usual for me while Yohan seemed really busy. He worked overtime on the weekdays to keep the weekend free. To keep myself busy I focused on my studies too.

Just like that arrived Saturday evening. I got ready and dolled myself up yet made sure I didn’t look too much. I wasn’t a fan of heavy makeup and did my best to keep it simple.

Moreover I chose a cute dress to go with it instead of choosing something sexy because really, I just wanted to go slow. Yohan himself chose a simple white dress shirt and formal black pants.

It was supposed to be a simple dinner yet I was very excited.

It was supposed to go smoothly.

There was supposed to be no third party.

But things never really go as planned. Do they?

When we reached the restaurant and took our seats, out of nowhere a woman approached Yohan.

“Babe!” The voice made us both turn to the lady who walked towards Yohan. She had neutral tan skin with wavy medium black hair and an hourglass body that was being complemented by the dress she wore.

Babe? Did she really call him babe?

“Roxy?” Yohan was surprised to see her too and I think I saw a bit of unsurety in his eyes.. She went straight to him and kissed his cheek then looked at me.

“Oh! You have a date.” She looked at me and smirked, “An average looking human?” She mocked me with her eyes as she kept her hand on his shoulder, “Seriously?” She eyed him.

“Roxy.” Yohan looked at her, “What are you doing here?” His tone of voice was a bit angry but Roxy chose to ignore.

“In a restaurant? Obviously to eat.” She grinned, “Next to you?” She winked, “Because I might need you again like you’ve always needed me.” She was clearly flirting with him.

“Need him?” I spoke and they both looked at me, “I’m sorry if you couldn’t notice but he’s here with me.” She was here for a minute only and I was already hating her guts.

Roxy smirked, “He’s here with you but he’ll be with me in bed.”

What?

Her words shattered my terrain on thoughts. I was planning on not backing off but her words put me in a pause.

“Roxy!!” Yohan stood up from his seat in anger and panic, “What do you think you’re doing!?” He gritted his teeth. If you look at their heights Yohan was about two inches taller than her while she wore a four inch heel but they both were good looking.

“I’m saying the truth.” She folded her arms, “I’ve always been your sex par-” Before she got to finish her words Yohan grabbed her wrist and pulled her away with him while I sat in there in utter confusion of mixed emotions.

I couldn’t point out what exactly I was feeling.

Was I angry?

Was I jealous?

Did I feel inferior? Sort of betrayed?

I clenched my fists.

It was all of it.

She didn’t get to finish her words but I knew what she meant. They’ve been sleeping together. Was she his previous lover?

Does he still sleep with her?

‘He’s here with you but he’ll be with me in bed.’ It wasn’t a past tense. She was implying that it will happen again…

Just thinking about it made my stomach churn.

He clearly knew her and he didn’t tell me she was lying. He only got angry because she revealed the truth. Plus if I think about it she was really really attractive. Any guy would date her.

All my excitement, all my anticipation, what I had been feeling for a whole week was taken over by melancholy and sitting there on the table all alone I started feeling a strange sense of desolation.

My chest hurt suddenly and I looked in the direction where he went with her. There was no sign of him now.

The people around whispered about what had just happened. Of course they would. These kinds of scenarios are always interesting for people but it was humiliating me.

Why did he leave with her? He should have stayed here and explained! In this situation what am I supposed to do? Wait for him?

What if he doesn't?

For some unknown reason I felt so bad I didn’t feel like continuing the dinner anymore.. I felt like if I stayed here I would cry, so I grabbed my bag and left the place.