52 Rather Conflicting

"I think we might be stuck out here for the next two nights. Is that alright?"

Ash nodded. "We can take turns guarding each other. We should probably go find a more secluded spot than the side of the highway though."

"Alright then. Let's go look for a good place to hide!" she replied cheerfully.

They got back into the car and made partway up Mount Charleston before parking. He finally changed out of the dress back into his usual clothes before they ventured fairly far from the road to be able to hide away from humans. It was very late at this point and poor, emotionally drained Ruby kept nodding off.

Ash ended up carrying her yet again but he didn't mind. In fact, he savored the closeness. When they found a secluded grove of pine trees he found the softest patch of dirt and took his cloak off so it could function as a blanket before sitting down with his back against a trunk.

He moved Ruby so she was able to use his lap as a pillow and prepared himself for a long and boring night. He fiddled with her hair to keep himself occupied as his thoughts ran wild.

If someone had told him a few weeks ago that he would put his revenge plans on hold out of concern for someone else he would have told them they were crazy. Yet here he was, more worried about the future of the sleeping fairy on top of him than avenging his fallen comrades.

Vampires couldn't blush because that would require heat their bodies did not possess. But if Ash had been capable of it he would have been beet red when he kissed Ruby earlier.

He did need to hide his face but he could have done it by pretending to kiss her. The hat would have blocked anybody nearby from seeing whether or not their lips were actually touching.

Hindsight was a funny thing. In the moment Ash was too panicked to realize he would be able to fake it and slammed his lips against hers to get her uncle's attention off him. It was nothing more than a rather long peck but it did funny things to his insides.

He told himself he only liked it because he hadn't kissed anybody since his last lover died more than three hundred years ago but that was a lie. He liked kissing her because Ruby Gardner was special.

She made him feel something other than grief or rage. She was bright, witty, resourceful, and a delight to be around in general. And they never would have become friends if the worst thing that ever happened to him hadn't occurred when it did.

Ash was drowning in guilt for so much as thinking anything good could come out of that horrible tragedy. Of course he would rather still be apathetically plodding along in a job he never liked if it meant all his family and friends were alive.

This was all rather conflicting. He could never regret meeting her but did it have to happen during the darkest moment of his life?

No matter how Ash might be feeling about her, a fairy and a vampire were impossible. They never should have even been friends.

He would protect her for a while until she got back on her feet and could complete their deal. Then she would go on and do whatever it was that fairies did and he would spend the rest of his eternal life waiting for her to visit.

He sighed and looked down at her as she nuzzled his thigh in her sleep. Even if they weren't different races, Ruby was too good for someone fueled entirely by vengeance. She had been betrayed horribly and spent most of her life alone while surrounded by other people but she didn't wish them ill.

He understood the feeling of being surrounded but completely alone better than most. That was how he felt as coven leader because no one truly understood him.

Their differences were too vast to ever be breached but they had similarities too. Ash wished there was something he could do to get her to stay with him forever but he knew that was unrealistic.

Yet a small, stupidly hopeful part of him daydreamed during those long hours where Ruby was asleep of what life in the castle would be like if she never left him. If they truly could stay together forever.

The first selfish desire he ever had was to keep this brave, beautiful fairy for himself. And he couldn't do it because he cared about her too much.

Ash lifted the strand of hair he was playing with to his lips and kissed it, wishing pointlessly that he could kiss her again for real. That was far outside the boundaries of their relationship but she was coming home with him for the time being. That would have to be enough.

Maybe if he was extremely lucky he would be able to convince her to let him move to whatever land she bought eventually. To let him go on her travels with her.

They had a lot of fun on this trip before things went south. Moving around wasn't in a vampire's nature but he would do it if it meant they could be together. She was the only person he hadn't felt lonely with since taking up the mantle of coven leader.

Ash was determined to keep this friendship going strong throughout the rest of his time on this planet, however long or short that may be. He wanted to spend the remainder of his life by Ruby's side.