79 You Are You No Matter What You Look Like

"Maybe you needed to meet a vampire," he said flippantly, playing it off as a joke.

Her eyes narrowed. "Well that obviously isn't true considering how much the Cromwells enjoyed mocking me the past several days when I couldn't keep my glamour up anymore. I asked you a serious question; I want a serious answer."

Ash's face fell. "I'm sorry you had to go through that." He hesitated a moment before continuing. "I'm afraid you won't like my serious answer."

What? Why wouldn't she like it? What sort of weird response was that?

"I think I can manage," Ruby said dryly.

He sighed and looked off into the distance. "I nearly went crazy when I found out you were missing. I stayed that way the entire time you were gone. So when I found you sprawled on the floor with your vital signs rapidly fading your appearance was the last thing on my mind. I only wanted to save you. You are you no matter what you look like. Honest."

Oh. Had her fainting episode really been that serious? She supposed it was since she wasn't currently able to move.

But he really didn't think it mattered at all? He wasn't even shocked? You are you no matter what you look like…Ruby wasn't sure she had ever heard such beautiful words before in her life.

"You weren't mad at me?" she asked in a small voice.

Ash seemed confused. "Why would I be mad at you? You did what you thought you had to do in order to save your family. I would have done the exact same thing. Truthfully, I was angrier at myself for not being able to stop you.

"And when I watched that video and heard Dorian Cromwell's voice…I can't tell you how horrified I was because I know what he's like. Seeing the evidence of your suffering tonight was truly terrible. I don't ever want you to suffer, Ruby. I want you to be happy and safe."

The fuzziness in her head grew worse. "But I left without saying goodbye. I didn't follow through on our deal. You should definitely be mad at me right now!"

Her friend shrugged. "I was able to get my revenge anyway so technically you did follow through on the deal. As for leaving without saying goodbye…I was upset about that it doesn't matter anymore."

"Why?"

Ash looked at her like she was a little stupid. "Because I got you back, if not safe and sound like I had hoped. You won't do that again will you?"

"No."

"Then we're good."

Ruby's understanding of this conversation was getting worse and worse. He wasn't mad, he cared about getting her back, and he didn't care what she looked like. On top of all of that he had acted like a doting boyfriend when he saw she had woken up.

Ash's face hardened. "You nearly died. Your heart and lungs were giving out on you. I had to do blood magic and what one of the werewolves called CPR to bring you back from the brink."

Her blush before had nothing on the one now. CPR was so much worse than a mere forehead kiss! But if he was trying and failing to save her for a while and then finally saw her wake up it would explain his reaction. Kind of.

No, not really. That kind of reaction was supposed to be saved for someone you truly loved. He couldn't possibly be in love with her.

They were thrown together by mutual need and he was grieving a horrific loss when she met him. Ash may have gotten attached to her because he needed someone to fill that void but it couldn't be real.

Ruby had never once heard of an interracial couple that wasn't an elf and a witch, borne from necessity. Werewolves mated with werewolves. Fairies dated fairies. Vampires stuck with their covens and never branched out.

He cared about her but it was only because he was desperate and lonely. He didn't actually think of her as a woman. And vice versa. He was a vampire, not a man in her eyes.

Except she had never once been interested in a male fairy. He had stolen her first kiss by accident. Now he was acting like a total sap because she didn't die. The relationship she thought they had started crumbling a while ago but now she didn't even know what to think.

"Thank you for saving me," Ruby said eventually. "I'm sorry for scaring you."

Ash shook his head and an unbearably sad expression crossed his face. "You didn't scare me; you terrified me. I really thought I was going to lose you too."

The look on his face was breaking her heart. With great effort, she reached her arm up to pat the hand that was on her shoulder. He ended up taking that hand in both of his and grasping it tightly. His hands were shaking slightly; he truly had been terrified.

Ruby was tempted to hug him but she couldn't make herself move. "Hey…kind of a dumb question but could you help me sit up so I can hug you? You're making me sad."

Not only did Ash help her up, he lifted her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her so tightly that his face ended up buried in her hair. Okay then. If this was what it took to make him feel better she would deal with the weirdness.

"I'm okay now," she reassured him. "I'm right here."

It appeared that Blair's prediction that he wouldn't be able to handle losing anyone else had been correct after all. Ruby said she wasn't important to him to make herself feel better about abandoning him but even she hadn't realized how freaked out he would be by this.

The poor thing was traumatized after losing his entire coven and couldn't handle the thought of losing the one new friend he managed to make. Guilt weighed down on her heart. That was her fault.