145 Questioning

Kaisla's lord Emp felt that the first encounter between his current household and herself went pretty well. The girls might have been a bit shaken to hear about the possibility of her ending up as his wife but aside from that, they were already getting along well even before he showed up.

He gave her the room next to his own for the time being and also some time to get familiar with the house, the surroundings and the people living in it.

At first, she was off-put by how casual every interactions were. She couldn't understand that no one in the village seemed to pay Emp the respect his name deserved. Even after being explained that most of the village didn't know, she didn't understand why Emp didn't tell them who they were messing with and why even those that knew didn't act with the deference they should.

She found Galana particularly aggravating because of how she kept squarely insulting him. She couldn't believe the grandson of her respected lord let himself be insulted like that without any sort of reaction.

"I don't understand what you mean exactly. She's not doing it to insult me, it's just the way she is. She calls me idiot all the time but she doesn't intend to provoke or anger me." He answered her question once.

She then asked the sisters what they knew about this whole thing and she was told that Emp wasn't some sort of rug who would let just anyone insult him.

"I don't know how nobles work usually but isn't that a normal reaction? I mean, people shouldn't get angry at the words but the meaning behind the words instead. Galana doesn't mean anything insulting at all, I'd say it's more like a mark of affection." Svae tried to explain.

Erin's opinion on the matter was different as well.

"Usually, he doesn't get that angry when someone says things against him directly. He can't really make the difference between teasing and and actual insults I think. He just accepts them when they're from someone he knows. I think he just takes everything more easily when he knows the one saying it isn't a bad person. He gets very angry when someone says something bad about people around him however."

From what Kaisla understood of their two points of view, Emp would explode when something was said or done to the girls here or in Bêtéclair but if it was against himself directly, he didn't mind it. Was it because he was confident that he could take on any attack towards him? She didn't know for sure.

In any case, since Emp wasn't bothered by it, she had no right to put Galana back to her place. She made efforts to tolerate it and focused on the real reason she was here instead, Calla.

Kaisla did as Emp told her to and gave his wife some time to get used to her presence. Instead, she tried to spend time with the sisters in the main room of that house as much as possible because those two made her laugh and because Calla spent most of her time there.

She had a lot of trouble understanding why Emp married that girl. She was poles apart from Mable who the young lord also liked. They were nothing alike, one was hyperactive and willful while the other struggled to chain more than two sentences together and couldn't hold the gaze of anyone for more than a second. He had not been kidding when he said she was shy and delicate, those words weren't even close to strong enough to describe it.

Kaisla wouldn't say that she disliked Calla because it would be absolutely wrong but Calla didn't fit what she expected a Muracier lady to be. The girl was pleasant to hang out with, calm and gentle, she spoke softly and cared for everyone like a loving mother bird cared for her chicks. Compared to grandma Korine or honored lady Marcellia, she was weak.

She met Marcellia a few days after she arrived, once it stopped raining all the time, and found the lady very similar to grandma Korine in spirit and attitude. Because of this familiarity, she found it easy to understand her. The woman kept glaring at her because of who she was and what Aminui sent her here for but Kaisla didn't resent her for that. She respected the choice of Marcellia to not join them in Highsteel after Chijou's disappearance and she also respected the choice of Emp and Aminui to consider her part of the family even while she resented them for hiding the truth of that battle. Even Kaisla didn't know exactly what happened then, all that she knew was that at least Chinui must be alive somewhere since Emp existed.

Marcellia retained some form of fear that the young master would end up not coming back if he left, just like Chijou. She had to convince the master blacksmith that she wasn't here to do anything strange or take Emp away, she was truly only here to accompany Calla and protect her to the best of her ability. That was something that Marcellia could agree with but she said she'd keep an eye on her from now on.

Going back to the new lady, she did not have the strength of Marcellia or her dauntless posture, she didn't have any combat skills either, she only knew how to cook. Even if Kaisla admitted readily that the food she prepared was almost divine, it made her qualified to be a cook, not a lady Muracier. On that, she shared the prior opinion of her grandfather.

She started to believe that perhaps he was attracted to weak girls in need of protection. It would be logical then that he liked both Calla and Mable, it would also explain the presence of Galana who she heard how he saved in details back in Red-Water. When she shared her hesitations with Erin Porter however, she was met with an interesting answer.

"What are you talking about? Emp doesn't care about strength or personality much. Calla doesn't have to be strong for him to like her but the opposite is wrong too. I think he only sees the heart. As long as one cares for those around them, it makes him smile and he sides for them. Me and Leo, we were nothing at all, worthless. He let us stay and taught us ever since, just because we were ready to jump in the way to protect Calla even though we were wrong."

This was a shocking statement for Kaisla, one that made perfect sense for what she knew however. After hearing it said aloud, she had no doubt that the squire was right. That was why he liked both Calla and Mable who had nearly polar opposite personalities, why he favored Galana despite her rude behavior and why he took care of the sisters so readily. Calla had a charitable soul desiring to help everyone, Mable might be forceful but she worked for the benefit of those close to her rather than herself, Galana valued highly the concept of friends and family to the point that she ended up enslaved because she was unwilling to bring them trouble, the sisters had a similar mindset too... She was completely wrong about Emp.

It wasn't exactly about him wanting to protect his lovers, it was instead him loving those with the desire to help and protect. With this in mind, she asked those around and discovered all of Calla's previous attempts at helping. When she was told about the fruit given in the street at dusk, she started laughing so hard the whole house heard her.

Calla was innocent and naive, in a good way. Kaisla liked how positive she was. Whenever she told a story about something she saw or one of those Aminui narrated to her in the past, Calla would always guess an unrealistically good ending. When Kaisla presented some hypothetical problems to her just by curiosity, Calla would answer with some ridiculous statements like; "I would make a good stew for the whole lot so that they'd have no reason to steal from the old man."

Kaisla decided that Calla was a good first wife for the young master, it could have been much much worse. The girl wasn't greedy, didn't care about the status and only wanted to help those around her, that way, she would support the young master in his duties to protect the empire. She might not be a warrior of stone and steel but she was still a pillar the young master could rely on and use to rest against in between fights.

Kaisla was satisfied, no, happy, with that and said so to Aminui in a message she had him sent via the bag of Emp.

Since she didn't clash with anyone and agreed to support Calla, the young master and his wife invited her to stay here with them and serve as a lady-in-waiting. She accepted because it was her duty to do so and she felt that the soft-hearted girl needed more protection than the two novice the young master was training could provide.

*-*-*-*

"An armor?"

Emp was sat with Mable and the usual group. Officially, they were there to study their magic and help each other on the subject. In reality, they were mostly discussing peacefully and drinking another herbal beverage recommended by Nessa.

They had been talking about the ancient history of the empire and what they learned of it through classes when they came to the subject of overturning the ruler of a territory. Emp wasn't eager to touch the subject because of what he intended to do in the future so he was happy to jump onto Nessa's question even if he didn't understand exactly what she meant.

She had turned in his direction with a very serious air and said she needed his help with something important. He said that of course he'd help if it was anything possible but was she asked for was an armor. The rest all looked just as lost as he was.

"Why are you asking Emp about it? You're the daughter of a duke, don't you have smiths of your own?" Brenia asked.

Nessa took the time to take a sip of her cup before answering in a posed manner.

"My family does indeed hire a great amount of smiths, they are talented too for the most part but I can't ask them to do this."

"Why?" Mable asked, entirely lost. She wasn't even nibbling on her piece of cake anymore because she was trying to understand what her friend was talking about.

"It's because of what she's attempting to do. We were just talking about overturning a king, what she's doing is similar. Her father decided that her brother would inherit the territory, she can't ask his men to help her."

Mable frowned, she obviously needed more details. For her and Emp, what Nessa was doing didn't sound bad or unreasonable at all, they didn't get why she couldn't use the smiths she already knew. Nessa took the time to explain in detail for them.

"It is as she says. Father wants my brother to take over in the future and wants me to marry into another house. He needs me to appear as I am now, refined and proper, he will not allow his own workers to forge me an armor like the one I want. I need something more than an ornament, I need something to go fight in.

It won't be so long before they let us leave this school. Once I come back home from it, I want to step in the great hall of our house, in front of all the knights and retainers, clad in an armor worthy of a battlefield, wielding the royal sword dance of our house. I want them all to recognize with a glance what I am and what I want, I want them to understand me even before I present them the support the Muracier elder decided to show me. I want my father to see my worth even if he denies me the support I request."

"And so you thought about Emp who said he made his incredible armor with his own mother." Aglaya ended the story.

Nessa nodded, satisfied that her story came across clearly.

"That's right, my father has no control over my friends." She turned her eyes back towards Emp. "Your armor is so well made, both in function and aesthetic, clearly, your mother is a master in her art. If you two would make me an armor, I wouldn't have to worry about the quality of the product. You know exactly how I fight too since you trained with me for so long, I know the armor would be adequate for me. I do not see anyone that would be better suited for the task than you and your mysterious mother. Of course, I am more than willing to pay appropriately for it, no, more than that, I'm willing to pay extra for it if you two would accept my request."

Emp was proud that Nessa would think of them first when looking for a new armor and all but the request placed him in a bit of a difficult situation. His face didn't move much as he thought about it but since no smile showed on his face, the others guessed it wasn't a request as simple as they thought it was.

"Is she perhaps too busy?" Brenia asked with a frown. With the talent they could see in her work, it wouldn't be surprising if she was constantly drowned in requests.

"Is it impossible after all? I'm sorry if I asked something difficult." Nessa said with a tinge of disappointment in her voice.

Aglaya was the only one here knowing who his mysterious blacksmith mother was but she didn't understand either what made Nessa's request difficult and awaited Emp's answer patiently along with Mable.

"It's not that I don't want to help, I just don't know if she will be willing to do it." Emp tried explain with a tinge of regret. "She really doesn't like to take requests. You could say that she's a bit eccentric and only works on what she feels like working on at the moment. The first thing she says to anyone visiting her is always 'I don't take orders'. I can ask her to help with the pretext that you are my friend but I can't say for sure that she will agree, she might just flat out refuse to do it instead."

"I see, so that's how it is." The girls nodded in understanding.

They felt a bit frustrated and regretful about the situation but there was nothing they could do to change it.

"Would it help if I came myself to beg for her help?" Nessa asked seriously.

She must have evaluated Marcy's work very highly if she was willing to put her dignity as a high noble aside for a better chance to receive such an armor.

"I'm not sure if it would help or hinder you. Anyway, it would be hard for you to meet her, just let me try by myself first and see what I can do."

"Okay, just let me know if there's something I can do."

"I will, I'll try to get an answer as soon as possible."

"Thank you." She gave him a polite nod and the talks drifted to other things.

With all that in mind, Emp went to ask Marcy about it the very next day.

He met her in her forge like usual, the heat was incredible. She had not started working yet because she was waiting for him to show up as he was her apprentice after all. She had only prepared the fire and so Emp felt it was the perfect time to ask her.

Her mood seemed good today. She was happy with his progress in everything she was teaching him and even though she complained about the presence of Kaisla here, he knew she truly felt the opposite of what she voiced. She was saying that she didn't want to see anyone related to the Muraciers but in truth, it appeased her heart to see Kaisla close by. It brought her back to a time when she shared much of her life with that house.

Emp was surely not an expert on that sort of things but he had the impression that the presence of Kaisla, the sisters and even Galana healed her. She'd watch his lively house from her workshop and smile whenever things got lively.

With such a good mood displayed, now was the perfect time to ask her about Nessa's armor.

"No."

Emp frowned as he opened his mouth.

"I haven't said anything yet. How did you know I was about to ask something?"

"It was obvious ya were about to ask me something, it's written all over ya. Since ya never ask me for anything, it means it's something ya can't do. Ya want me to forge something, the answer is no."

Emp gave her a pout, he didn't understand how she could guess what he wanted so clearly.

"But you don't even know what I was about to ask you to make." He complained.

"It doesn't matter," she said with an impassible air. "If it was for ya, ya would have spoken right away and said 'I need this'. Ya didn't so it's not for ya and I don't take orders. Whoever used ya as a middle man can find someone else, I don't care about what they want me to craft them."

Emp believed that a kid fighting a knight and losing instantly would feel exactly the same as he did right now. He didn't even have the occasion to speak about anything at all and got rejected squarely.

"Why not?" He asked again.

"What do ya mean why not?"

"Why don't you want to even hear about it?"

"Isn't that obvious? If I do things because I'm told to instead of doing what I feel like doing the quality will be bad. Ya could say it's about my name and reputation but its not, its about making the best equipment possible. If I'm not entirely invested in what I'm making, there's no point in even starting it. I pour my heart and soul into the things I make, either it comes directly from me or I'm not making it at all."

"But what if you were suddenly inspired after hearing what I have to say about the request? I'd really like to help Nessa. I already have an idea about what we could do, I'm sure we can make something great that would fit her sword dance perfectly!"

"That's not how it works. Whoever that Nessa is, ya'll have to do it yourself if ya want it to be done."

Emp felt rather disappointed but he didn't want to argue with Marcy any further. He knew he wouldn't be able to change her mind.

"Fine, I'll tell her we won't make it tomorrow."

Marcy came up to his side and wrapped her arm around his shoulders, squeezing him against her and shaking his head with her other hand.

"Are ya listening to me or not? I'm serious, If ya want it done so bad, why are ya not making it yarself?"

He looked up at her and answered with the obvious.

"There's no way it will be as good as if you made it."

To his dismay, she started laughing, closing her eyes in her amusement and throwing her head back.

"What's funny?"

"Ya're just an apprentice so of course it won't be as good as mine but then what? Ya would just give up without even trying? How will ya improve if ya never work on anything? More importantly, what did I just say about being inspired? Don't ya already have an idea in mind about what should be made, didn't ya just say ya knew what to do already. That's not a project for me, it's all yars.

I'll let ya do the whole thing and supervise from the side. If ya do wrong, I'll scold ya, if yar work is lacking I'll give ya the teaching ya need but I'm not workin on it at all. Ya are inspired, ya have the picture in yar head and know that Nessa already, just do it. It will be good practice for ya, I'll be just beside ya the whole time too, the project is yars."

Emp had not expected that things would turn out this way, he felt interested by the proposition, maybe even a bit excited but he was still very hesitant.

"Are you sure it will be alright with Nessa? She's a good friend of mine, I don't want to disappoint her."

"If she's not alright with ya doing whatever it is she wants then let her find another smith. The best I can tell ya is that at least, if she's important for ya, ya won't let yarself disappoint her with the end result. Like they say, if ya want something done properly, ya best do it yarself."

That made sense, if he made the armor himself, at least, he'd be confident that she would be safe inside it. Marcy would watch over him to make sure of that, Nessa would never find safer equipment in the empire. The perspective of making it himself became more and more attractive to him as he thought about it.

"What are ya standing there for? Put out the fire and let's go to yar workshop, show me what yar thinking about. Ya know the steps, we made a bit of everything already over the years."

Pushed by Marcy, he drew sketches of what he was thinking of, made lists of pieces and materials he'd need, consulted with her, Kaisla, and Martin about enchantments that could be useful for it, improved his design and worked all day on it with a satisfied mother watching over him in attentive silence.

The next day, back in school, he explained everything to Nessa, what his mother said and what he planned to do and try if she allowed him a shot at it.

She listened to his whole explanation attentively and after looking at the plans and drawings, agreed to try things his way. As she had said before, She trusted him more because she knew him and his mother were talented but more importantly, Emp understood who she was and how the royal sword dance was performed. She believed in his ability to complete the armor and even agreed to find the materials he requested herself.

With this all decided, Emp was able to spend the entirety of his forging time on this and its many pieces. She provided the measurements of all the parts of her body that mattered for the armor and over the months he worked on it, he kept bringing unfinished pieces over to school in order to make sure they'd fit with her perfectly.

Aside from working on this and keeping Nessa informed of his progress, he did a lot of other things too. Of them all, the most important must have been the discussion he shared with his grandfather soon after he had brought him to Love's temple.

With him finally knowing the whole truth, he was able to sit down with him and hold a serious conversation. He had given him some time to think about everything he heard in the temple so once they both sat down, the old man looked pretty calm again. Emp on the other hand was extremely nervous.

He believed that since Love said herself that Emp was her child, whatever Aminui thought of him now, at least, he wouldn't do anything reckless that could anger the goddess. But, feared the thoughts of the old man more than his actions. He badly wanted to ask him the question that had been burning inside him the most since a long time ago. Could he really call himself a Muracier? What did Aminui think of this?

They met in a dark deep inside the school. That place had no windows and only a single door. Inside, there was a massive table and finally sculpted chairs lining it on both sides. The walls were covered in dignified tapestries and rush light candles were placed all around the table, ready to be lit at any moments.

The room was meant as a meeting room and built in a way that no sound would escape its walls. No servants or guards were allowed in the long corridor leading to it while a meeting was taking place to insure the secrecy and privacy of the words spoken there.

Emp brought Celtine with him inside and sat her down on a chair next to his own after all three of them lit the candles.

His grandfather was the first to speak, taking the lead the moment Emp sat down on one side of the table.

"So, are you finally ready to talk?"

"I was waiting for you to process the truth."

"It only took me a few hours while you waited two whole days, you are the anxious one." Aminui pointed out.

"Well... I wasn't sure what to tell you... I've been asking myself the same question since a while ago, always wondering if I really deserved your help, if I was tricking everyone around me, if I was a giant liar. Right away when I first set my foot in this school, the duke believed I was Chinui's son, I didn't know what to do, how to react. It was true that he had lent me his name for the school and that it figured on my hunting card but could I really call myself a Muracier? Then it went on for three years, I felt uncomfortable every time someone used that name while referring to me. You said it yourself the other day, am I really your grandson? I was never born."

"Why did you hide it from me and the rest then? Why not say that right away, speak the truth? What compelled you to trick us all?"

Emp placed his elbows on the table and rested his head into his hands.

"I do not know... Chinui so kindly lent me the name, I wanted to use it. Then I learned about the blood taken from him, everyone kept repeating how I was like him and his brother... My goal was never the title of great general in the first place, I just came here because Chinui told me to. Then the secret kept growing in size and the truth was so abnormal, even if I said it, who would have believed me? I look the part and act the part, my card says Muracier on it, who would believe it if I said that I was just spawned by the gods?

In the eyes of everyone else, I was a Muracier through and through, but I felt so guilty all the time. I did not want to use the name because I felt it had nothing to do with me, I just happened to be there and meet Chinui by chance. His blood is in my veins and the soul of his brother kept me alive, I owe them part of my existence but the gods made me, not them... I do not feel I have the right to claim I belong in the family but at the same time, I needed your teaching, I still do. I could not let the opportunity go to waste.

I have a mission to fulfill, given by the gods who created me. They made me, I exist thanks to them, I have to do as they asked me. I could not let my own guilt get in the way of what I have to do, even if I felt it was wrong."

Aminui exhaled in a way that sounded like a snort and answered calmly.

"I will not pretend I understand what you felt because I do not, I'm not even sure I completely understand how it is you were born. What I do know is that you should not have assumed how others would react to the truth and hide it from us all.

I was wondering why Chinui chose that strange phrasing in his message, why you thought I'd be disappointed when I heard about your mother, why you said you weren't convinced to deserve our name, why you weren't sent to us first instead of here. In the end, it turned out that my son didn't even know what you were, he just took a liking to you and decided to help. You shouldn't have hid such an important truth from us, the duke, me, it isn't worthy of our name."

Emp had hoped this wouldn't be the case but he wasn't surprised that Aminui would cut him off right away. Being unworthy of the name, he would go back to just being Emp and his problems would all be fixed in that way. Maybe he'd call himself Emp Champom or Emp Gladius to please Marcy.

"I understand. I did not want to upset anyone but it is true, I did hide the truth. I do not regret doing it because I believe I needed to. I understand that you might want to remove your support."

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"No you do 'not' understand." Aminui slammed his fist on the table. His face did not change but he was clearly angry. "You 'are' a Muracier, that's why this is upsetting! I said 'our' name, if you had not been one of us that secret wouldn't have mattered at all. Why did you hide the truth from your own house! That's what's unworthy of our name! Is your brain made out of mush? I'm not stripping you of your name, I'm scolding you!"

Emp felt bewildered, he didn't know what to say at all. Celtine wasn't nearly as surprised as he was. It seemed that she had expected it.

"I may not quite understand how or why you came to be but I do understand the words the goddess presented us. You are one of mine, they were right saying that you looked and acted like them because you are for the most part. I can often see them in you and this is why I am so disappointed Emperor.

Do you even understand what I learned implies for you? For our whole house? We have a godspawn as one of our own and he's free from the curse! What happened the other day doesn't need to happen again, I now know that there is a future for us where our words will not bind us in chains anymore yet I also learn of a future where the truth might not be as sacred to our family anymore. Do you understand how our house will change after you, how scary and so full of possibilities that is?"

"I... Don't understand?"

Even though Emp wanted to ask about so many things he just said, that was the only thing he managed to say.

"I've been dreading a day where our house would collapse because I only left two possible heir behind and both disappeared on the same day without leaving anyone after them. My eldest son did something insane, he greatly disappointed me and left himself no door to come back, I thought I was doomed to see my family disappear just like that. Then you showed up."

Emp felt really bad about tricking the old man. He felt like he had given him hope where there was none. Aminui wasn't thinking the same way however and kept talking with his eyes locked into Emp's.

"Now, even though he wasn't responsible for your birth, even if he didn't know his blood was in your veins he still tried to fix his wrong, he chose you to carry the name. He saw us in you, I know, it's easy to see for me too. He helped and sent you here, 'make him the next great general' he told the duke. I'd have helped just like how I took care of Kaisla, even if you had not been my blood."

"But didn't you say you'd have cut off my head if I failed the test?"

"I would have yes. Impersonating a Muracier is a grave offence but that would have been a consequence of what you did in Red-Water instead of your origins. Your head would have fallen regardless of what Chinui thought if you were guilty of impersonating one of us. You weren't however, you 'are' a Muracier, that is the truth.

When I recognized that, you should have told me the whole truth, this is what makes me mad. You are from the trunk of our house, not from a branch! You should be better than Graube, a half truth is not better than a lie! Why would you not trust your own? I am frustrated that it wasn't readily apparent to you that you were one of us. It didn't take me more than a day to see while even now, you're still unsure of yourself!"

"I am not Chinui's true son, I just came out of the forest one day, I did not earn the name and did not inherit it either, I am just an impostor." Emp confessed his deepest thoughts. "I feel like a thief, taking advantage of an old man eager to see his line perpetuated to fulfill my own needs. The ancestors never recognized me either, they never helped my arrows fly straight. I feel that they should know better."

"You have clouded the truth with your own guilt. Let it all out, let go of it and see the truth for what it is. Love says it, Chinui saw it, I saw it, you are one of us, even if you do not feel like it. I'm not saying it because I desperately want a godspawn in my family, this doesn't matter to me, only my blood matters.

What I want is for you to stop thinking of yourself as an outsider! This is not the truth of who you are! Muracier is your name, Highsteel is your home and our blood runs in your veins. The truth is that we are part of you just as much as the gods are, I need you to accept that truth and stop hiding."

Emp moved his hand, to hide his left eye. He felt torn between telling him the rest of the truth or not. He really felt like saying it now, keeping secrets was so hard after all.

"You do not understand." He simply said.

"What is it that I don't understand Emperor? You'll feel much better once you've said it, I guaranty it."

It was only at that point that Celtine started to become nervous. She tried to shake Emp to stop him from saying it aloud. She guessed what he was about to say and feared it might be a terrible idea. Emp had to say it, he ignored her silent plea. He was tired of hiding so many things to so many people, he disliked the feeling so much.

"My quest doesn't stop at becoming the great general. I need to take the place of the emperor too."