54 Waking up

Emp felt confused. He wasn't sure what was happening. He had lost track of what was going on at some point on his way to the teacher's room.

Right now, he was hurting all over. He felt like a million birds had pecked him all over before rolling him around for a good while. He also had no idea where he was or what time or day it was.

Around him, there were a few voices talking. He knew all those voices but it took him a while to understand the words they used or who those voices belonged to. There was like a fog in his head, everything felt mixed up and turned around, it made him feel sick.

He tried to rub his forehead with his hand but it was his leg that moved instead.

"He moved!" Called... Harriett.

"Is he about to wake up?" Ivar?

That couldn't be him... what?

"He better get up soon because I want to go back already." Wasn't that Brenia?

What did he miss? Where was he?

"You could go back now, no one is forcing you to stay." The magic teacher, he thought. Did he make it to his room?

"That's not what I meant. I'm saying I don't want to wait tomorrow to know what happened to him. I'd have to go to sleep wondering if the guy is fine or not."

Speaking of being fine, he wasn't. He needed to ask the mage to remove the old soul quick! His body twitched as he tried to make it work. He felt strange, everything was fine a moment and all jumbled in his head the next. Every time he tried to move something, it was something else that reacted instead.

It was a bit like opening a drawer you took a lot of time to arrange properly. You knew were everything should be and you usually took things in it without even looking. Now though, nothing was where it should be so he had to replace everything back to their rightful spots. He had no idea why it was like that, how it happened or how he figured out how to stretch himself back in the shape he should be in but he did anyway.

The bag should be at his hips not his shoulder, the stake should be in his shoulder not in his hand, that was a leg not his head...

"Master?"

Seeing him twitch and wiggle like that, Harriett worried about him again. She worried way too much about all those little things. He was happy she cared about his well-being so much but being so stressed out about such a small thing couldn't be good for her. She needed to trust in him a bit more.

He opened his eyes, this time it worked as intended, and looked around. There were many more faces than there should have been. The ancient, Ivar, Brenia, Harriett, Celtine, a weird grey guy with too many eyes, the teacher he came to see and a bunch of unknown servants.

He locked his eyes onto the teacher and went straight to the point, Love had told him to not dawdle after all.

"Teacher, I have a problem, I need you to remove one of the two souls in me before tomorrow or else I might die."

Relief spread across the room in large sigh and the teacher smiled. Wasn't it the point where they should all panic like Harriett? Why was everyone so relieved instead? Maybe his words were wrong like the rest of his body and he said something else instead.

"Are my words coming out properly or am I saying gibberish?"

"Yer words'r fine, they already did what yer askin o'them."

"Here look." The teacher pointed out to a teal colored crystal the size of mole.

"We trapped the parasite soul in that soul crystal already. You should be fine now."

Really? They already did? That probably explained why he felt so strange. Then, did that mean he was done for today and he could go to bed already?

"If possible though, I'd like you to answer some questions just to make sure your own soul wasn't disturbed."

He was eager to go back to bed but making sure he was really out of trouble was much more important. He agreed immediately.

"Sure, go ahead teacher."

"Alright, first, do you recognize everyone here?"

"No, I do not know the grey guy or the servants standing around."

The mage nodded in satisfaction and asked the next question.

"The name of your father?"

The ancient glared at the mage.

"I would rather not answer that." Emp told him.

"Oh, that's right, I forgot."

He forgot? what would he do if he revealed the secret in front of Brenia and Ivar by accident?

"Then, how do you feel about everyone here?"

Emp made a frown, that was a hard thing to answer.

"Let me think for a second."

Just as he finished saying it, Celtine wrote a message for him speedily.

<Do not think.>

That was right, he had been told many time already. He was still unclear on how to do that. He looked towards the teacher. He was...

"Too laid-back, I'm grateful you saved me but you should be more careful with the secrets of others. I almost died and you are acting casually like nothing happened at all, this is disturbing."

The mage seemed surprised by his way of speaking but he had asked it. He turned to the next person, Ivar.

"You are very kind, you don't like it when people are bickering but I feel guilty that you think I like archery. That's isn't the case at all, I hate archery and I will probably never be good at it. I do not disrespect people that do like it but the ancestors seem to have something against me and at this point, it's faster and easier to just step up and stab the enemy instead of shooting at them from afar."

Brenia started laughing at the confused face of Ivar so he turned to her next.

"You make no sense to me, I don't understand you. You are odd. You claim you want to become really strong but you ignore half of what the teachers are telling you. What's the point of even being here if you are going to waste most of it? I feel frustrated every time you complain about the magic classes. Why would you ignore that kind of thing if it can make you better and stronger too? I told you already, only using strength is idiotic if you have a way to use magic too. Use everything you have or stay home! You'll die because you are too stubborn."

Brenia seemed shocked at his outburst. Emp did not understand what was happening with him. Now that he had started talking, he felt more and more compelled to say things, things he didn't even know he thought. He turned towards the ancient. He was even using contractions in his words somehow without thinking about it.

"I don't understand you either. I don't get what you think I'm supposed to be doing or whatever you think I'm here for. I don't like lying, I hate lying but I'm stuck with all your rules and forced to dodge random questions that don't matter to me at all because of you. I even have to listen to the morals teacher more and more because of it. You're just trouble even though I think you mean well."

The old man didn't offer any strong reaction to his words which Emp felt was a good thing. The next one around was Harriett. She had been dead silent like Celtine since he had started talking. Her eyes were red, she had probably cried a lot when he was sleeping.

"Harriett, I'm very glad of all the things you do for me, I appreciate it deeply. But, you worry too much over everything, I would like it if you could just trust in me for a moment and believe that things will be fine. I should not have to tell you every time that a party won't kill me, it should be obvious. I'm really starting to get angry about the earring thing too. I just want to make you smile and tell you how much I value your hard work but it's so complicated! Just tell me what you think looks attractive or even better yet, come with me in town, we'll look around and find something that you like together. I do not know how to understand other people, it's too hard. If you want me to see something you have to tell me straight, stop dancing around the subject it's just wasting my time."

Harriett was shaken by the words of her master. It wasn't like him at all! She didn't know how to react.

"I also care a lot about you Celtine. But, somehow, I don't feel happy when I see you, I only feel sad. I like it when you are present and I like to carry you around but I feel sadness when looking at you. Things have been unfair to you so far, I wish I was there earlier to help. I'm angry, I think, about the things you lost. If I ever see those that took your wings I'll crush them under my hammer..."

Emp frowned at what he was saying, or rather, he was already frowning, he felt his face was warped in anger. What he was saying didn't make sense either. It was pointless to beat them up, doing so wouldn't give her back her wings. On Celtine's face could be read surprise, joy and worry in equal measures.

"Wait, I do not know why I said that. Killing them brings no advantage to us."

There was a short silence in the room before Brenia spoke.

"Isn't he different than usual?"

This was what everyone that knew him was thinking.

"Yeah, he's so reserved usually but now he's being super blunt with everyone. Doesn't that mean you damaged his soul?" Ivar questioned the mage.

"I don't know, like I said, I never did this kind of thing before, I didn't know the man before and there aren't many examples of damaged souls recorded in medical tomes and magic studies."

"Was I really that different? I do not feel any different."

"Yes, that's the whole problems with souls, you don't feel the differences because to you it will seem like it was always that way. You can notice changes that can prove to you that you were indeed different but you won't be able to grasp how you were before or to what extent you changed. For example, you could look at a painting and remember having bought it because you liked it but not why you liked it or how it felt to like it."

That sounded scary! You could become someone else entirely and not even notice it?

"His face is more expressive too." Commented Ivar again. "I've never seen him make a face like that before."

While they were talking, the face of the ancient was cramping up in vexation and anger. Emp could understand that. He had been entrusted with the only son of the great general of the empire and under his supervision, that son had his soul messed with and personality changed. He was probably wondering how to explain that to Chinui. Emp didn't know what to tell him in order to calm him that wouldn't reveal the secret to Ivar and Brenia. Thinking of them, why were they even there in the first place?

Before he could ask, Celtine wrote him a message and presented it to them.

<Maybe it's just a sign it worked?>

"How would it be so? He's clearly different."

Brenia disregarded the message but Emp understood immediately what she meant.

"Maybe she is right, I just don't know how to verify either possibility."

"Why do you think she may be right?" Asked the mage, more curious than worried.

"I was unable to find any desire I might have and couldn't tell what I liked more or less in anything."

<Master felt like he had no attachment to anything at all. There was nothing he wanted or did for himself, he was just doing what anyone asked of him.> Celtine added to his explanation.

While Celtine did her best to understand, Harriett stayed frozen in place, was it all that shocking? He followed his explanation for now.

"Then, yesterday at the tavern. The girl working there told me I might be able to find out why in the temple of Love. We went there and I was told I had two souls and it was because of them that my feelings weren't working properly. I was coming here to have the old one removed and let the newest one grow into what it was supposed to be before they became too cramped and the pressure killed me."

"You mean to tell us that this whole time I thought you were just odd but you had two souls all along and it was that that made you odd?" Brenia asked.

Emp simply nodded. He wondered how many people he knew thought he was odd while the mage continued.

"This seems plausible, the two different souls would clash and inhibit one another, forcing a neutral state on most of his emotions, trapping them all inside. It was the final emotional storm observed in the parasite soul that knocked him out after all. The two souls must have been pent up and bloated by all those unreleased emotions."

"So he felt things but could not express them because of this whole two souls situation?" Ivar was clearly not following.

"Yes, even if he felt extremely angry, the two souls would compete to determine how to express it and in the end, nothing would be decided forcing his mind to take the decision instead of his emotion. From an outside perspective, he would seem emotionless or indifferent. Likewise, he could have felt love without realising it because neither souls could come out on top to act on it. Projecting himself in the future becomes just as hard because desires are driven by tastes and feels, both bottled up by the stalemate inside his soul domain. Do you have an idea of how long you possessed two souls?"

"How did you even have a second soul?" Questioned Brenia

"I was born with it." He answered to the both of them.

"That doesn't make sense! How can one be born with two souls?"

"I do not know how to answer you without lying so I just won't. Instead, I'd like to know about how kicking could be harder with a thumb in your nose. You said that yesterday but it just doesn't make sense. How is it even related, the position of your thumb shouldn't affect your ability to kick at all."

"I never said it was my own thumb." Brenia defended herself, taken aback by the unrelated question.

"Whose thumb then? Why would someone go up to you and put one of his fingers into your nose?"

"I don't want to answer that!"

"Then that's it, now we both have a question the other won't answer."

There was another short silence.

"The new master is scary." Commented Harriett aloud, finally breaking her silence.

The morals teacher would freak out in front of the changes. He had just dodged a question and shot down any further conversation on the subject without even thinking about it or lying in any way.

The mage coughed once to bring back the attention on the subject at hand and followed his previous explanation.

"Since he was born with both, it is very likely that those emotions bottled up will resurface like a storm, eager to be expressed at last. He never felt any of them properly before so it's safe to assume that he will have sudden bursts of emotions for a while and seemingly extreme behaviors while he learns to control his own desires and emotions. I would suggest notifying everyone he may get in contact with about this possibility before such an outburst upsets someone."

"So yer sayin he's not goin back to how he were? He won't go back to normal?"

The ancient question was the most important. They all wanted to know if they would get their old Emp back.

"No, if the soul split was done correctly than he will be the exact same as before. Only, now, he will be able to express himself properly. Following what he himself was saying, this is the normal him. The him you knew was a sick version of him. Asking to get the old him back is like asking to bring him back to the brink of soul death. For now he needs rest and time to practice interacting with others anew but eventually, he should go back being like he was before, albeit a more sensitive version of that. Character traits and talents he exhibited in the past should not disappear, in theory."

"So, if Zoran drinks too much again and fall over, you'd carry him around again?" Asked Ivar as a test.

"Well, yes, of course, I will not leave him there."

Ivar seemed satisfied with his answer even though it should have been obvious.

"Then he's fine?"

"Like I said, I don't know." The mage said, a bit annoyed to be asked the same question again.

"At least his soul seems calm now." Commented the tall grey man.

Emp started to feel like all this talk was going nowhere.

"Since there is no way to know and even if it worked properly you're saying I will need some time to rest and feel everything for myself, can I just go to back to my room now? I know you're all doing your best to help me but I'm tired."

"Yes, of course. I will just ask you to remain after our next class so that I can conduct further tests on you."

"Hey hey, that one isn't a test subject ye hear? He's an important study."

"You mean to say student." Clarified one of the servants standing behind him.

"Aye, this be what I mean."

"Anyway, since we are done, I'm going too. I'll see you both tomorrow." Brenia said to Ivar and him before she left.

The guy was alive, there was nothing to learn and they didn't need her. It was best for her to leave then.

After that, Ivar followed suit, only the ancient remained behind to talk to Emp. Before Emp left with the ancient though, he had something else to do.

"Teacher, about the soul crystal." He asked.

"Mhn?"

"You said the soul you removed is kept inside that right?"

"Yes, souls can't be seen but it is indeed inside of that crystal."

"Can I keep it then? I feel... Attached to it."

He did not know whose soul it was but it had lived inside of him for his whole life. Yes it had been a short one up to now but he would have felt bad to just abandon it now. He wanted to keep it company, or at least bring it back to where his creators had took it in the first place. Everyone said it had been crippling and dangerous to him but it had still been part of who he was until now.

Love, watching form elsewhere, was very happy of this result. This was the first thing he truly wanted, not for someone else, not because it was asked of him, just because he desired to keep it. She and Luck where satisfied with this result and laughed together.

The mage agreed to his request with a small sigh.

"Sure, this is more than extremely valuable to a scholar like me but I suppose it does belong to you after all. And since the stone was used to save your life, the school will compensate me as it should, isn't that right my lord duke?"

The mage ended his sentence by looking toward the ancient sharply, making him flinch.

"Sure, of course, I'll pay for tha crystal. No problem fer us."

The mage nodded in a mix of satisfaction from the promise of money and dissatisfaction at the loss of a filled soul crystal.

After that, Emp got off the table and wobbled a second before gripping the perch he just left. The two girls extended their hands to help him but he didn't really need them. He stayed like that for a short moment while the dizziness subsided. Finally, he thanked him properly with a bow just like miss Blackbull thought him.

"You have my deepest gratitude for giving me this but much more importantly, for saving me and my soul."

"It is merely my job small master Muracier." He answered politely while Emp made a sour face from the name.

"Don't call me like that please." He then turned his attention to the grey man.

"You helped me too yes?"

"He did, Fonao here used his trait as a fwan to see your soul and drag the parasite one out, without him you would be dead."

"Then you too have my deepest gratitude Fonao. I will not forget this." The fwan didn't seem to offer any reaction to his thanks and merely gave a flat answer.

"I am undeserving of your praise."

Emp felt very confused by his answer but since everyone else seemed to accept it, he let go of it for now. He put Celtine back up on his shoulders and left the room with Harriett and the ancient.

"Did yer father know about tha second soul?" He asked once they were outside.

"No, even I didn't before this afternoon."

His creators put it there, how could Chinui have known?

"This be a strange situation indeed. Were they tryin to enracinate the general son without bein detected?" (1)

"You mean assassinate." The usual servant clarified.

"Yes of course, ye all know what I be meanin! In any case, be careful. Send someone to get me immediately if anything else happens."

Emp knew it wasn't anything of the sort but he could hardly tell the old man that a god put a second soul in him to stabilize him for a while. He pointed Harrietts way.

"Yes, I will send Harriett to you if anything happens in the future."

"Aye, you bunch of wamen who be followin me, remember tha face of that one, you are to let her in if she comes."

"Yes of course sir. Her visage is engraved in our memories." Said the closest servant.

"Good, then have a sleep for now lad. Ye don't be needin to go to class tomorrow. Take the time ye need to rejuvenate."

"You mean to say recuperate."

"Girl, this be enough for tonight." He said, displeased.

"Understood master."

She said that but she was smiling. Apparently, the old man wasn't harsh with his servants. They seemed to like to tease him. Emp could easily imagine them all giggling at every mistakes he made.

Emp left him to his mischievous cohort and went back towards his own room. The girl on his shoulder felt warm somehow. Was she holding on to him harder than usual?

Neither of the girls had said much, so to speak, since he had woken up. He wondered what they were thinking about, how they felt. He hoped he had not upset them somehow. The moment they were all back in his room, he asked them the many things that were on his mind.

He sat down with them at the table, around the cake. He looked closely at them, neither seemed to expect what would happen. They seemed nervous, not as much as when he first met them but similarly.

"What do you want me to say?"

"Master?"

"I'm just asking what you want me to say. You both seem really nervous. Did I scare you? Did I upset you? What can I say to make it better?"

"It's not like that at all master!" Denied Harriett while shaking her hands in front of her. "When you collapsed, I was really afraid all three of us would die. I was panicking. After that, I was so relieved when they said you would be fine, I could not have been happier."

"Then why do you seem so downhearted?"

"I do not know how to express it properly master."

Celtine was more to the point, she wrote down the answer he requested.

<We are used to the old master. I wished you would soon understand your heart but now that it is happening, I, we, are scarred we might lose the kind master we love. We don't know yet if you really are the same.>

"So you are just nervous about if I really am the same Emp?"

The two nodded. Emp could see, no, could feel their apprehension. He had never been in such a situation before so he could hardly relate. But, he understood how this might be scary for them. Emp really didn't feel any different but that fact wouldn't really reassure them.

He pondered on what to do for a moment before getting up from his chair and walking up to them.

"Master? Ah!"

Both of the girls were surprised when he hugged them without warning. He had never done this before, making it even more surprising. They both tensed up at this unbelievable situation.

Emp wasn't sure but he believed that hugs were meant for that kind of situation. If even that could not calm them then, he really wouldn't know what to do. He was even extra careful to not hurt Celtine.

"I do not feel like I am different." He told them while keeping an arm around each. "Both Love and Heinrich told us that if this thing was done right, I would be the exact same aside from being better at handling emotions. I don't know if it worked correctly or not but at least I know that you are both important to me, I told you so earlier didn't I? Even if a change did occur somehow, it doesn't have to be a bad change, it could be good too, we don't know yet. I won't say you two are worrying over nothing but don't accept the worst outcome as the most likely so easily."

As an answer, Celtine decided to hug him back. The tension was released and his shirt became wet with tears of relief. She had kept all her stress and fear inside for the whole evening since she had to make sure he would be fine but now that it was all over, she couldn't help but let it all out. For once, she had not lost something.

Harriett too gave him back the hug, although much more awkwardly than Celtine. A master shouldn't hug his salves, even her own father never did. She didn't know how to respond honestly while staying respectful to her important master. They stayed like that for a moment before Harriett spoke again.

"I'm sorry master. I worry too much. Master is right, I do not deal well with problems. When something unplanned happens, I start to panic. I should be more like Celtine when something dangerous happens."

"What do you mean?"

"Celtine was a true hero today master. When master collapsed, I panicked and started wailing. I had lost all reason. It was Celtine how took care of everything. She wrote down what the teacher had to do and forced me to go get him. Then, she got mister Longhorn and miss Harmaton to carry you to the teachers room and watched over the whole process of the other soul removal while we waited outside. I am ashamed to say that I even fainted while master needed my help but Celtine stood up straight the whole time. Without her, I do not know what would have happened."

"Really? I'll have to thank you properly later then."

The hug was finally released and Celtine sniffled before wiping her eyes with her forearm and writing down her answer.

<No need master, knowing that you are fine is more than enough as a reward.>

"But I want to reward you. I'll think about it properly and find something you would appreciate. Also, let's eat that cake now, I feel like we all deserved it after what happened today. Harriett, could you please cut us three equally big pieces of cake."

"Yes of course master."

After that, he asked about what happened while he was unconscious in detail. Celtine told him all about the spell and Harriett explained why Ivar and Brenia where there. She even had an explanation for the ancient.

A servant came asking what was happening and Ivar told her, she proceeded to report it to the duke who rushed there immediately. Ivar got in his way and told him he could not enter but was shoved aside violently and was instantly defeated. It was Brenia who stalled him for the rest of the spell. If apparently the old man didn't mind knocking out one of his students, he had his reserves against doing the same to a teenage girl.

Emp needed to remember to thank them properly as well the next time they met. Who knew what could have happened if they had not been there to carry him or to stop the old man.

As for the cake, it was a different experience than last time. Harriett was hesitant to eat part of her master's cake but once she took a bite of it, she couldn't resist and ate it all greedily but slowly to let the taste linger. Celtine just munched on her own piece happily.

"I'm still not sure about which is the best cake but I'm glad I'm eating it with you two. I think it tastes better that way."

"Really?"

"Yes, I think there is too much maple syrup and it detracts from the fruits inside but somehow, I like it more than last time."

<This is the clearest opinion I've seen you give yet.> Scribbled Celtine while keeping the spoon in her mouth.

"Then it's an improvement?"

Harriett and Celtine both approved.

"I think so."

"How about you two then, what do you think about the cake?

"I love it master. I had the chance to taste a cake only once before." Harriett told them. "The cook of my previous master failed the baking of the base so he couldn't serve it to my father and his family. He did not waste any other ingredient on it but instead of letting it go to waste, it was us all who ate the burnt cake. There was not much flavor since it was just the base and it was overcooked but I always had a fond memory of it. This one taste much better and it's softer too. I love it, I'm glad I could share it with you master."

Celtine wrote her a small sentence and Harriett's face became red instantly as she read it.

"Don't say that, you're going to make my heart burst!" (2)

Celtine laughed in silence and threw the message into the fire, stopping him from seeing it.

Later, he recalled the other him and gained the memory of him getting hugged strongly by Marcy. She had been very upset too about his collapse. Now that he had both sides of the story, he guessed it was probably what she told him that pushed him over the limit. He'd have to tell her what had happened tomorrow to stop her from worrying too much.

Like he had thought, she was much more motherly than his 'mother'. Love told him what was wrong but did nothing to help and even wasted his time by asking him to buy some paper. Marcy was ready to come all the way to Artefine hoping she could somehow help in any way. Maybe he should do something for her as well, what would she like?

He had lived in her house for a long time now and he felt that he hadn't paid enough attention to her until now. He only listened to her lessons, not herself. It was while thinking about her, his slaves and many more people that he fell asleep.

The next day, he didn't go to class. In fact, he felt well and fine but since the ancient had told him to take a break to rest, he stayed in his room instead, trying to figure out what the new him was like.

The conclusion of this experimental day was underwhelming. He still didn't feel any different. The girls assured him that conversations with him felt more fluid and that he seemed to pay more attention but he didn't notice anything.

***

(1) I know enracinate isn't a word, its a weird merge from the french enraciné meaning "something that is taking root" and assassinate which is what he meant to say. Enraciné was chosen for the miss-used word because as you know, the dead of the empire take root.

(2) I'm sure you are all curious of what the message said. She wrote: It's even better eating it with master's spoon. Did she write that just to have Harriett panic or was it her real thoughts? Who knows.