"Darling, what was that noise?"
"Father in law seems to have passed out from the joy of knowing his loving daughter was getting married to such a caring husband."
"What? Really? He accepted it so easily?"
Good job me! Safe! I definitely do not bully smelly old men!
The door slid open as the goddess descended upon my world once again. This time she was wearing her veil again so luckily I was able to retain my composure. Seeing her truly made me lose my senses. Getting accustomed to my little wifey really may take quite some time.
"He really did... collapse? Is he okay? Did he hit his head?"
"Damn it my daughter! How could you believe this vermins lies when you see your father sprawled out on the ground like this!? Why are you also questioning if I hit my head?"
Ah. He woke up. That was quick.
He really looked like he wanted to cry though.
My wife then exclaimed with wide eyes "you're the mightiest god in existence, the war god Sen Kami, known for his unparalleled might. He's just a mortal, how could he possibly knock you out?"
"My daughter, you must not be deceived by flowery words! His words are like thorns that can effortlessly defeat the mightiest of warriors. Every sound he utters is like a venomous needle aimed right towards your heart!"
"Please reconsider my naive daughter. He is just a lowly viper laying in wait to plunge his toxic fangs into your neck to corrupt you like the vile thing he is. He will shower you with flattery to get your guard down before he moves in and pounces upon you as he poisons and corrupts the precious flower you are."
"What? Who are you talking about here? All I asked for was assistance with finding a simple present for my little wife? Father in law, how can you besmirch my name as such? Is it not you who is dirtying others? Tramping upon my name and smearing it in mud! I am a righteous individual with no strikes against his name. I stand upright against injustice and fight against the oppressors. How can you sully my reputation like so? Your daughter's husband could never be such a person! Your reputation would also go down the drain if you had such a son in law. Dirtying my name is merely besmirching your own!"
The old man stared at me like he did not know what to say.
He squinted his eyes as he grumbled out under his breath "damn filthy little rat."
Realizing attacking me would only aggravate himself further, father in law seemed to change targets. "My precious daughter Megami, why would you even agree to this little ant's proposal?"
"He was the first person since I was born that stood face to face against you as a mere mortal in the presence of a god while he had the nerve to even propose to me in your presence. A mortal who directly ignored a god without the slightest fear, isn't that rather attractive?"
Beneath the semi transparent veil I could vaguely see the outline of another smile blooming across her face. I cursed that veil's nine generations for obstructing such a heavenly sight. That veil should be smitten down by the heavens for blocking out such wondrous scenery from this world.
Just imagining the face under that veil would send my heart pounding like a train chugging along while making me slightly fearful I may have a heart attack at this very moment. Luckily for me, I'm dead right now so that won't happen.
Father in law seemed to look really defeated; like he just wanted to find a hole and crawl into it while drowning himself in his sorrows.
Not paying attention to her father anymore, the goddess' eyes were locked on me not looking away for even a moment as if she were ready to detect any lie I may tell.
"Darling husband, is it true you wanted to use your request to find a present for me? You know, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I accidentally caused your death and felt horrible to the point I wanted to die. The only reason you are here now is because I begged my father with threat of suicide that we must compensate you appropriately. Gods killing mortals for no reason whether intentional or unintentional is a heavy sin in this world."
"Damn it all; my daughter is too naive and pure. With her innocent nature she really would do it too. All for some random stupid plebeian she stumbled upon on the street. She had only just descended into a mortal world for a short trip to help me with an errand. If she saw a weak puppy on the road she would naturally pick it up and take it home to take care of it. This stinky brat is just a weak little puppy to her." The old man in the corner with his head sunk between his legs sat in a crouched position as he grumbled out some rude inaudible lines under his breath.
"Naturally the only thing I could ever desire in this world is for my wife's happiness. If I can please my wife then even if I face a sea of troubles, I can stand firmly against them no matter how many obstacles may come my way." I declared to my wife with conviction in my voice as if there could be no other possible answer.
Suddenly the air turned very cold as my wife said in a solemn voice "did you really think I would believe such flowery words darling?"
"Of course." I replied without a moment of hesitation. It was like I could not feel a single bit of the terrifyingly cold aura my wife was giving off.
Suddenly the atmosphere around my little wife turned flowery again as she said "I naturally will believe my husband's words."
"Tch. Damn brat. Go explode stupid riajuu. Peh Peh."
Ignoring the peanut gallery in the background, once again I cursed her veil's whole family that I could not peer directly at the beaming smile beneath it.
"Husband, we may call each other husband and wife but we have not even kissed before. Isn't that a custom in your world, to kiss the bride after exchanging vows? But you told me, marry me and I said agreed but we never even kissed after that. Isn't something strange about it?"
"WHAT? Darling daughter, I think you're mistaken, are you not? I don't recall there being such a custom. I think something is wrong with your memory? You questioned if I hit my head, but are you sure you didn't hit your head on a rip in space when you descended to the mortal realm?"
"That's right, in fact how can you be considered married, he hasn't even put a ring…"
My eyes flashed the moment he said ring. I walked over to father in law again as I whispered in his ear. "I've decided on my requested betrothal gift. Give me the strongest ring you have right now."
Despair seemed to cloud father in law's vision as he shook his head left and right. I returned his horizontal shake of his head with a vertical nod of my own. We went back and forth like this for a while until he gritted his teeth and waved his hand while grumbling.
"You stinky brat, mark my words I'll remember this. Ah whatever, I was planning to give this to my daughter if I ever passed away anyways. It's better if it ends up in her hands, rather than in this stupid brat's. I know it's a treasure, but I still don't even know it's capabilities but it is definitely a valuable ring that can save one's life in a perilous situation. It can deploy a barrier for six hours that not even I can break. Since it is my daughter a life I have been meaning to give her a life saving artifact."
"Hear stupid brat. With this I have fulfilled your request. No take backs."
The old man tossed a ring he pulled out from somewhere towards me. It was a ring that was white on it's exterior but black on the interior. It had mysterious symbols entwined together that looked like they would never separate. What the symbols could mean, I have no idea. Perhaps I will never know, but altogether it does look rather appealing with a feeling of mystery about it. Overall I really liked it and I can only hope my wife would like it as well.
I walked over to my wife as I grabbed ahold of her unblemished left hand. It gave off an almost unnoticeable tremble as my left hand gently held her her index and middle finger from below. I placed my thumb lightly on top of her dainty little fingers as I lifted them upwards. Once in position I used my right hand to slide the ring onto her ring finger as I looked upwards to stare into her eyes once again. Once I confirmed the ring was firmly attached to her finger I raised my right hand to lift that sinister veil.
As I lifted the veil I noticed that a tear had silently rolled down her cheek without my notice. I wanted to move my hand to wipe it away but just looking at her… you know the drill. When am I going to get used to it? Am I really just that stupid that I can forget how to breathe at a moments notice?
As if she noticed my plight my wife giggled with a charming smile on her face as she said "I know I'm pretty darling but we do have to kiss you know. If you were not dead right now, perhaps you would die several times over just from a kiss."
"I really can only sigh; I've already lived for so long yet I ended up so happy that I would finally have someone by my side that a tear crept out unknowingly."
"Darling make sure to treasure me, okay?"
I can only give a slight nod in my dumbfoundedness as I stared blankly at her soul stealing beauty.
Am I a moron? I can't be like this everytime I look at her. Naturally I've got to take the lead here. I forcefully bit my tongue as I closed my eyes and finally regained my senses. I moved forward slightly but before I realized it, my little wife grabbed my collar and pulled me forward faster than I could move towards her. Really, who's taking the lead here?
"Go explode already. Just stay dazed everytime you look at her so you can never do a damned thing. Just be a virgin for the rest of your life you dumb monkey." More curses seemed to reign down from the peanut gallery in the background.
As our lips locked and my eyes were closed I finally managed to maintain my breath. A warmth spread throughout my entire body as we melted into one another. She wrapped her arms around my head while I placed my arms around her dainty little waist as we pulled each other closer together. Seconds turned to minutes as minutes felt like they were hours. It felt like we remained like that for an eternity as two slippery tongues mangled together as our breathing became rather ragged. What should have been a simple kiss turned into a passionate make out session as we lost sense of our surroundings.
It was at this point an awkward coughing rang out in the background which finally brought us to our senses.
We slightly parted lips as my wife turned her dreamy look away from me and towards her father as she asked "Father, do you mind? Could you maybe notice the mood and leave please?"
Father in law seemed as though he could not believe his ears or what his eyes were seeing. "Y-y-y-y-you unfilial daughter! Where did my innocent naive little daughter go? You vile beast, what have you done to her? This cannot be my daughter who used to look up at me and ask in an innocent voice all the simple little questions that children dreamed to find out one day."
It seemed he was having a nervous breakdown. He was crouched down on the ground like he was traumatized while he rocked back and forth like a mental patient.
A sigh seemed to escape from my wife's lovely lips as she looked back towards me with a slightly troubled look on her face. She raised a hand and pressed her index finger on my lips as she whispered to me lovingly with a dreamy look in her eyes "it seems the third wheel won't leave, so we'll just have to save the rest for later my dear husband."
It seemed like she was not quiet enough though as the old man in the background began to break out into tears as he cried in an ugly fashion while he repeated to himself several times "where has my daughter gone?"
Once again unbeknownst to me, the world would have been shocked. I was the first person in history to ever make the mightiest god burst into tears while he lost his sanity.
...I think I might be really strong.