(POV Aide to crown prince Ten Jo)
You may wonder what's up with this strange situation and why I am robbing a bank while wearing this stupid black mask. Well, we will have to go back in time a bit to find out what led to this ridiculous situation where I, a mighty cultivator, sank so low to become a petty robber.
…
Before my eyes laid the wreckage of what was once a "car."
Honestly, I was a bit happy inside when I saw that unconscious thing inside.
But really, that idiot! That thing went and stole this car and got it smashed up silly after only a few minutes to such a degree?
Why do I have to be an aide to a stupid arrogant crown prince? Can you not cause so much trouble for me please? I would like a vacation sometimes as well!
There were a bunch of cars with flashing blue and red lights surrounding the car that unconscious thing was presently in.
Naturally as his aide I couldn't just let that thing be taken away, so I had to try to do something. I stood in front of the wreck that was once a car with a disdainful sneer on my face while I looked down on all those tiny foolish little mortal realm ants. How dare they try to provoke a king like, peak semi transcendent such as I?
Some may ask, why stick around and play with all these puny little mortals? As a powerful cultivator, do you think I can just pick up the crown prince, turn tail and flee like that in the face of all these ants?
Why should I do that? They are so weak, you can't expect an elephant to retreat from insignificant ants, right?
"Sir, please step away from the vehicle."
A bunch of men gathered around while pointing some small black devices in their hands towards me. Naturally, I just flicked my sleeve and pushed them far away.
"Woah! What the hell?!"
The men who were standing further away were stunned as their comrade closest to me was sent flying over their shoulders like a rag doll. It was quite a magnificent splat that rung out when he landed with his head buried in the ground and his rear pointed towards the sky. If I was throwing darts, I'd say it was a pretty good toss if I do say so myself.
While I admired my handiwork, one man shouted into a black box that emitted static noise, "HQ he got Charlie 1, I repeat Charlie 1 is down."
"Bravo 1, you did not repeat! I repeat, you did not repeat!"
"HQ, what are you talking about?! I did! I swear on my life, I did! I repeat, I swear on my life I did!"
"Bravo 1, nah uh, you did not. Here's the recording, "he got Charlie 1, I repeat Charlie 1 is down." Does that sound like you repeated yourself? I repeat, does that sound like you repeated yourself?"
"HQ, Damn it! I repeat, damn it!"
"Bravo 1, your last two repeats were much better. The boss said you'll be getting a promotion next week. I repeat, the boss said you'll be getting a promotion next week."
"I did it!"
"Ehem. HQ, requesting permission to use lethal force. I repeat, requesting permission to use lethal force."
"Bravo 1, permission granted. I repeat, permission granted."
"HQ, I'm really curious, why do we have to repeat ourselves all the time? I repeat, why do we have to repeat ourselves all the time?"
"Bravo 1, there are some questions you're never supposed to ask. I repeat, there are some questions you're never supposed to ask."
After that strange exchange between the voice emitting box that the man called HQ and the man that seemed to be called Bravo 1, all the men surrounding me raised their small black devices and took aim.
Taking aim? Does that mean that little thing is supposed to be a weapon? Hahaha, that little thing is supposed to hurt the mighty me?
I felt insulted that they were underestimating me to such a degree, so I decided to shatter their pathetic insignificant dreams and let them take their best shot.
I extended my index finger out towards Bravo 1 and bent my finger towards myself repeatedly telling him to bring it on. It looks like that really fired him up and he was gung ho to take on the fight.
He clenched his hands firmly around the little black device and a moment later a click rang out followed by a loud bang shortly after.
I was shocked that I almost couldn't react to the speed of the projectile coming towards me. I left my finger that was extended outwards directly in line with the projectile. I felt so disdainful I didn't bother to put up any defenses at all. I was confident I could just flick it away with the tap of a finger.
When the bullet was only one cm away from my finger, for some reason I had a bad premonition, but it was too late to do anything at this point. Once you get on a tiger's back it is hard to get off after all. Even if I could react at this point, my pride would not allow me to take any other action.
I kept that disdainful sneer on my face as the projectile came directly in contact with my finger. At first I thought it would still be okay, but a moment later, "Ahhhhhh!!!!! Damn it that hurt like hell!"
That projectile, rather than stopping in the face of my mighty finger, pierced right through leaving nothing behind in place of where a potion of my index finger once was. I could see a semi circular path through what used to be flesh. Blood was flowing out non stop around the metal projectile embedded within the carapass of what was supposed to be a finger. Holy goddess of pregnancy, that hurt more than childbirth!
When I finally regained my senses I quickly rotated my cultivation base to expel the projectile and seal up the area to prevent the loss of any more blood.
Cold sweat was constantly flowing down my back and I really didn't know what to do now. The little ants from moments before now looked like the most terrifying beasts I had ever seen. I think I peed myself a little, but naturally I must keep up the act of being a mighty cultivator.
Stupid crown prince, this is all your fault! If you just kept your hands off that stupid car none of this would have ever happened!
It was only now I realized the hunter had become the hunted. Isn't this pocket realm too terrifying? These mere mortals all have such power? Where is the balance here?
"Put your hands up and drop your... weapons? Never mind, just put your hands up."
This is too humiliating! I refuse to bow down to their commands!
"Mortals speak, what do you want to let that thing in the car off?"
"Put your hands up!"
"Is it money, power, women?"
I noticed their ears perk up only when they heard money. It looks like they have enough power and women. That is reasonable when they have such weapons. However, one can never have enough money after all.
It looks like all hope is not lost.
I waved my hands and took out all the money I had and let it fall to the ground. I'll have you know, I was one of the more wealthy individuals in the empire. This amount of wealth should be enough to support mortals for a lifetime.
It was unexpected, but the men just showed the utmost confusion when they saw what I took out.
"What are you doing you foolish mortals? Can you not see all the money here?"
"Money? Sir, are you kidding me? What are we supposed to do with these stupid silver and bronze coins? Don't you at least have some gold or something you poor schmuck?"
Damn it! Are you mocking my empire's currency? All of our money is made from silver and bronze. You got a problem with that?! You want gold? You've got to be kidding me! Nobody actually uses gold on a daily basis! Have you been reading too many stories lately?! Gold is just used in objects pleasurable to the eyes for aristocracy these days. Nobody uses that for their currency anymore!
"What money do you want then?"
The man cockily walked over to me and stood face to face before he took out a thick stack of papers and smacked it back and forth against my cheeks while saying, "this you moron. Cold hard cash."
What the heck? These pieces of paper is money to you? I can just burn it and it will be nothing more than ash.
"Are you actually challenged or just really poor? Have you never seen this much money before?"
Ugh. How humiliating, a mighty cultivator like me having to bend his head to mere ants because of a tiny little weapon. I swear I will definitely have my revenge, but naturally being an aide for as long as I have, I have learned how to bend and be flexible.
"Big brother Bravo 1, if you don't mind me asking, how would one get a large amount of cash?"
It seems my change in attitude was effective as he just laughed and shrugged before he said, "hahaha, rob a bank I guess? If I knew, do you think I would be working as a cop?"
A bank? Is that where you store all your money in this world?
"Where would one find a bank?"
He looked at me strangely and said, "there is one a few blocks away from here. It has a big sign that says National Bank on it."
"Oh, I see."
"You wouldn't be planning on suddenly donning a ski mask and robbing that bank, now would you?"
"Whatever could you be talking about?"
"Well if you want to bail your friend out of prison, you're going to need a lot of money, right?"
"Look, I can forget about your assault on that idiot officer over there. How about we make a deal?"
"I'm not stupid buddy, I can tell right away you're not from around here with those stupid daoist robes you're wearing. You're definitely inhumanely strong, but you clearly can't stand up to our guns. How about this, you rob a bank and split the money with us. Us cops have to eat as well you know. You can then use that money to bail your buddy out while you're at it. We'll even help you out in the background by delaying the reaction from the fuzz. Get in and out, it's that easy."
This man is definitely going to backstab me… definitely... but even so, he is right. At this point in time, where I am in a position of not fully understanding their power, I know I can't beat their guns. I can only bow my head this time and follow their rules.
"Here you go, I'm sure you've got some buddies that can help you out with your little heist. You can find us at the local police station when you've got the money to bail your buddy out."
He handed over five black masks to me before motioning to his buddies to take away the people in the crashed car including that idiotic unconscious thing.
"Boys let's get our moronic goody two shoes leader, Charlie 1, to the hospital and prepare for the good news."
When I heard him say that one sentence, I somehow felt a sense of camaraderie grow a bit within my heart. The only words I could think was, "he knows my pain."
But really, these guys are way too corrupt. You guys care more about the money than those injured mortals over there? I felt slightly pitiful towards the two people that were on the verge of death thanks to that other idiot being dragged away, so I secretly popped a pill with healing properties in their mouth. They were really lucky they did not die instantly or no mythical pill would be able to save their lives. The mortals carrying them away didn't even bother to check if it was poison.
That stupid idiotic thing on the other hand… aside from his broken left arm he appeared to be fine. It looks like he came out of it lucky that his body was stronger than those two pitiful mortals.
They snapped some metal shackles onto the unconscious idiot's arms and quickly took him away. It doesn't look like the derpy unconscious clown was being taken to the same place the other two were.
The other two were put on stretchers and placed into bigger looking car with red and white flashing lights, while he was dumped into the back of the smaller car that Bravo 1 was driving. I guess he was going to prison instead of that thing they called a hospital.
Looking down at the masks I was given, I was really troubled. It looks like I will need to find four others from our group that were also dragged into this realm for assistance with bailing that idiotic thing out of jail.
…
Yes. That is how this strange turn of events came to pass. That moron... it really is all his fault that we're forced to act out this stupid play. Robbing a bank. This was the first action we took when we came to this terrifying pocket realm.
If all the other aides back home heard about this, they would be laughing themselves silly.