59 Chapter 58.

When I opened my eyes in the morning and got up, I was completely rejuvenated. Don't mind the dark circles under my eyes. I definitely did not stay up the entire night sexually frustrated listening to the loud moans and panting through the walls from above me.

Damn it! I said I had a good night's sleep! Yeah, I quickly fell asleep, and it was the best 15 minute rest I ever had, okay?! You got a problem with it?

Damn this was the worst 9 hours and 45 minutes of my life. I was tempted to destroy the wall above me, but I managed to hold out since I was actually a bit impressed by the stamina of the guy in the room above me. They went at it for a full 7 hours. Even when they were done I could still hear the sounds of it in my head. It took almost 3 hours just to calm my inner demons when they were finally done.

When I finally calmed my inner demons I felt like I had, to my horror, gained some sort of enlightenment. I felt like I was actually at the very verge of breaking through to the next realm.

That was dangerous. If I did something stupid like that, when I went back to my realm I would be forced by the heavens to ascend to a saint rank realm.

I'd have to be an idiot if I did that, to want to be the tail of a dragon, when you can be the head of a snake. In my realm, I'm at the top. Why would I want to become no better than an ant?

I'll keep living my life of luxury down here in the mortal realms. Those stupid clowns in my empire dream of breaking through, but I really don't understand them. Are they some sort of masochists who look forward to becoming no better than a disposable dog?

Who cares, it's time to break that idiotic crown prince out of prison. I got off the bed and left this terrifying room of nightmares that had tempered my will.

I took one last look towards the ceiling wondering what kind of animals were above me before taking my leave.

Outside the room, the three stooges were already waiting for me. They looked really satisfied for some reason. For some reason? Like hell for some reason, you bastards! Have some more self restraint like your great boss; for the love of god, your skin is shining! Would you at least eliminate the evidence?

"Boss, this place is great."

"I've never seen such a heaven like place."

"Last night was amazing boss."

"How was it for you boss?"

"Hell. Absolute hell. Lets go."

I was in no mood to entertain the profligate kiddies behind me. The stupid silk pants children behind me would just go with the flow regardless of where they went. After all, when in the Celestial Empire, do as the Celestials. Is that how that saying went? Tch. Whatever, it's not important.

"Lead the way, Anything is Possible."

Enough with that stupid name!

While we waited for the rectangular doors to open, they kept pestering me with things like, "Anything is Possible, can you show us your special beam cannon again? Can you? Please? Pretty please? It was so coooool!"

"Right, right, also, the seal on your right hand again. It's super coOoOol Anything is Possumeh… mmm? mmmhmmm?."

"Crack one more joke and I'll rip that little thing you're so proud of right off from the base."

"Any…"

When he registered what I said, the last clown, who was about to put his two cents in shut his trap.

Ding.

Finally! The doors slid to the side and when I saw who was inside I nearly flew into a rage and tackled him out of existence.

"It's you!"

"Eh? Do I know you?"

"Don't play dumb with me! You're the accomplice of that dirty cop, right?!"

"What? Oh! You mean that. Right? That! Is that what you expected me to answer with? Are you a scammer? Is this a variation of the it's me, it's me scam?"

"Don't play dumb, you even took the money when we were at the bank. I will never forget you. If anyone's a scammer it's you and that dirty cop."

"Oh. So you were the masked boss robber in the bank robbery. Why didn't you just say so?"

"I'll kill you. I'll definitely kill you!"

"Now, now. Calm down buddy. We are naturally planning to release your crown prince."

"But we can't just release him just like that or we'll naturally be in trouble with the higher ups if we're caught with dirty money. We have arranged for his release."

"Hmmp! I don't need your help, I've already come up with a brilliant plan to get him out myself."

"Oh? Really? Can you tell me about this brilliant plan of yours?"

"So you're interested in listening to my genius plan?"

"Yes, yes, very. What if your plan interferes with our plan and you mess things up because of your lack of knowledge."

"I suppose you're right."

"Although you have a point, shouldn't you reveal your plan to release him first?" I felt suspicious so I decided to feel him out first. I'd be a fool to blab my plans so easily.

"What? You doubt us? Tch. Fine we just won't release him them. You can do what you want. We'll just move him somewhere else secretly."

"You! Are you trying to blackmail us?"

"Of course. If we're not careful we could end up in a lot of trouble you know. We don't really have much to gain by releasing your idiotic prince."

I could only grind my teeth and glare at him with my bloodshot eyes and reluctantly inform him of the details of my plan. They had the advantage here. I could silence him, but that may alert that scum cop who was the true mastermind in the grand scheme of things.

(POV Sanji)

Holy crap! How did I run into these guys again?

Luckily I was able to bamboozle them once again by acting like that mysterious corrupt cop's accomplice. At first I was clueless, but when I noticed their cultivation, it was obvious who they were.

I tried to play dumb, but that didn't work out in the end.

When I thought things were going well, this jerk got suspicious and wanted me to explain our so called imaginary plan to release the crown prince that I made up on the spur of the moment. How the hell would I know? I'm not even involved in all of this! Am I supposed be some all knowing god?

I could only bluff my way through it in the end by acting suggestively and making it appear like I was blackmailing him.

Luckily the bluff worked and he started to banter off proudly about what his self proclaimed great plan to save the crown prince.

I would occasionally throw in a "wow you're a genius" or "how can one man be so brilliant?" "Are you a god? Such a prodigy." I mixed in as many complements as I could and he just kept running his mouth like there was no tomorrow.

In the end, the flattery paid off and I found out everything I wanted to know. It turned out he took up a role as an actor in a movie and dominated over the competition to snatch the lead role effortlessly, according to him at least. I was a bit suspicious when I saw the three stooges behind him holding back their laughter, but it must have had some truth to it when I looked at his fancy suit.

He went on to mention the scene in the movie to bust his comrade out in style with a bomb. Naturally the bomb was fake and he intended to just smash the wall to pieces with his bare hands.

I felt like he was severely underestimating the strength of the prison. It's definitely not going to just collapse just because you punch it. It's not like the flimsy infrastructure of any random commercial building is going to be on the same level as the prison.

"Young man, aren't you underestimating the toughness of the prison? How do you expect to break open that wall? Do you really plan to just punch your way through?"

"Ha! Of course I do. You think a little wall is going to stop me from breaking it down?"

"Well… if you say so."

I suddenly remembered a certain item I saw in the list of items in the system shop. I pulled out my phone and quickly found it. The description was, "bomb 500 LP [tehe]". I was slightly annoyed when reading the description, but was curious how powerful it would actually be. I naturally bought it and pulled it out from my back and said, "look, if things don't work out and you're not able to break down the wall, I'll give you something good."

"Take this, I'm sure it will prove to be useful. All you need to do is push this red button and place it near the wall. It will definitely collapse after you do that."

"What is with this stupid little thing?"

"Trust me, don't press that red button on it right now. You see that index finger of yours? Imagine your entire body becoming like that finger."

"Ugh. It's that powerful?"

"Of course. By the way, don't drop it either."

"See ya."

While he was busy examining the bomb I handed over, I pressed the button to close the elevator doors and made my cool mysterious exit.

That hand stopping the elevator door from closing definitely wasn't there. Yes, it definitely didn't block my attempt to escape and stay uninvolved with these criminals.

Hey I only handed over the bomb, okay? I didn't detonate it or anything. As far as I'm concerned what he does with it has nothing to do with me.

So get your damn hand out of the closing door!

"You think you'll escape so easily? Huhuhu."

"You're coming with me."

"You dare?! You really dare?! Do you even know who my wife is?"

"Wife? What wife?"

"This wife."

I looked to my right side confidently and my wife was naturally standing there… gone?! No, why? Was it because I ogled that girl for too long earlier?

"Little wife, this is no time to be playing games. Where are you?"

"Are you crazy?"

"Crazy? You want crazy? Don't push me too far!"

"Push you too far? I just wanted to bring you along with me."

"Fufufu, husband why don't we go with them. It sounds fun. I was just in the mood to go and watch a movie anyways."

When I turned to my left, my wife was standing there as if she had been there the entire time.

"Little wife, what is the meaning of this?"

"Boss, I think he's crazy. Do you think the loneliness got to him? Maybe he's lost it. Are you sure it's a good idea to bring such a crazy person along with us? A person who has an imaginary wife definitely can't be of the right mind."

"Now that you mention it, he is a bit creepy. I'm starting to not want to bring him along as well."

"Y-y-y-y-you! You think she is imaginary?!"

"Little wife, show yourself to these pitiful fools. Let them drool over how beautiful you are!"

I didn't really think she would do it, but I still asked anyways. Judging by what they were saying, I figured as long as I acted crazy enough they would leave me alone.

"Husband, let's just go with them."

"Little wife, why should we go with them?"

"Boss, he's starting to have a conversation with air. We should really go. He's definitely lost his marbles."

"You're right, this guy is too pitiful. I can see why he was desperate enough to take a part in that robbery."

"Here little fellow, take this money. This big brother doesn't need it anymore. Make sure to get a good doctor to take a look at that broken head of yours."

Fudge you! Broken head? Broken head you say?! This insult… you think I will stand for this?! I was just trying to peacefully mind my own business, but you dare spit on my face?

Just because I am an aggressive pacifist doesn't mean I don't bite! Wait, I guess since I'm an aggressive one, it means I do. Sorry, I take it back, I'd bite back regardless of what I was.

As the boss was pulling his hand away from the elevator door, he had a kind smile on his face like he was some sort of benevolent budha who would forgive my sins.

You! He started waving at me like he was sending me on my way to a better life.

Naturally I would not stand for this, so I placed my hand in front of the closing door and with a daring smile I said, "aren't you getting on?"

"What? No, we're not. You can be on your way."

"I can't possibly just go away by myself after receiving such a generous donation. Why don't I go along with you guys after all?"

"Eh? What? No thank you. You can be on your way. Shoo! Scram!"

I grabbed his hand and started pulling forcefully trying to drag him into the elevator, while he tried to push me away from him.

"Come, don't be shy, let's all be crazy together."

"Boss, see! I told you, he's absolutely crazy!"

"You don't need to be polite, just take the donation and go!"

"No no no. How can I not show the appropriate hospitality? We will go together."

He kept trying to pull away from me, but what he didn't know was my wife was pinching his sleeve preventing him from budging an inch.

"Do you want proof my wife exists?"

"No thank you, I'm not crazy."

"Then why aren't you able to move your hand away right now?"

"What? Obviously because you're holding onto it... Besides that aren't you a bit too strong for a mortal...?"

When he finally looked at my hands, his face paled when he realized they were no longer anywhere near his hand.

He then asked with trembling eyes, "is your wife a ghost?"

What? Hey… why do you suddenly look so scared? You can't be telling me... a powerful cultivator like you is... scared of ghosts, right?

"What if I said she is?"

He started hyperventilating and sweating uncontrollably before he cried out loudly, "please let me off!"

He was shaking his head left and right like he was on the verge of death while trying to pull his hand away.

He started tearing up like he met his kryptonite.

"No way. Get in the elevator, or I'll make sure she haunts you for the rest of your life."

"Why are you being so insistent on us going together now? First you didn't want to, now you do, are you actually a slut who can't make up her mind?! Either you want it or you don't! Please don't be indecisive!"

"Boss has always been afraid of ghosts after all."

"Right, he acts high and mighty, but back then when he was younger, we did play those pranks after all. He's never been the same since."

"Get in the elevator, or I'll have my daughter appear by your bedside to wish you sweet dreams every night."

It looks like my threat was a bit much and when he thought of a little creepy ghost girl appearing anytime he was going to fall asleep, he blacked out from fear.

With I bright smile on my face all I could think was, mission accomplished.

"Haaaah. It looks like boss still hasn't gotten over that time when I had my little sister hide in a well in the middle of the night while making a creepy cracking sound with her voice."

"Your little sister? What do you mean YOUR little sister? I'm sure it was actually when I glued MY little sister to the ceiling and taped her mouth shut. When he woke up in the middle of the night and saw her disheveled hair hanging down with her dead looking eyes in the middle of the night, I'm sure that's what caused it."

"You amateurs, it was definitely when I hid MY little sister in the bathtub while boss was going to use the washroom one night."

Why do all of them have little sisters? Do little sisters suddenly grow on trees? Actually, better yet, what are you having your little sisters do?! Aren't you three the worst brothers in the world?

I felt retorting would be a waste of energy so I just asked, "what are you guys doing, can't you see how cooperative your boss is being? Get in the elevator already."

When they saw their boss being held hostage, they reluctantly came in while grumbling things like, "should we just abandon boss? Crazy people are dangerous after all. You don't know what they're going to do."

"Would you like to meet my wife as well?"

"""..."""

The three stooges finally shut their mouths and came along obediently.