80 Chapter 79.

(POV Sanji)

It's been five days since my run in with father in law in that virtual racing game. Since then I've holed myself up in my room thinking of methods to increase my cultivation speed.

Thankfully, my prayers were answered, I was rewarded for all my efforts and I luckily came up with something brilliant to further increase my cultivation speed. I explained my idea to the little girl and with sparkles in her eyes she had engineers put it together in a rush.

If one wished to know what this brilliant idea was, it was something that would revolutionize the world of cultivation just as a certain man I will call, Mister Jobs, once did in the world of technology. I termed this masterpiece… wait for it… wait for it... The iRobot 1.0. Thanks to this invention, I was finally cultivating like a true cultivator. With all the build up, I bet anyone would be curious as to what this cultivating machine actually did.

Well, that's top secret, I can't just disclose such confidential secrets so easily. If trade secrets on such a high level were to leaked so easily I would have no one to blame but myself. I feel anxious even thinking about what this work of wonders is capable of accomplishing. After all, who knows who could miraculously be listening in on my internal thoughts through methods unknown to me?

"Husband, I've been meaning to ask for a while now, what's with this power suit like thing you've been wearing? Actually what are you trying to do anyways?"

"Oh, my wife, you're back?"

"No. I just had a bit of free time and I was curious as to what you were up to. When I noticed the stupid suit you were wearing, the curiosity got the best of me."

"My wife, try not to be too shocked."

"I don't really see what there could be that would make me shocked."

"I'm cultivating."

My wife just looked at me with a stupid expression like she didn't understand.

"..."

"There's no need to be so speechless my wife. It is as exactly as I have said. I have peered into the secrets of the world and have become enlightened on the way of cultivation."

"So the suit attached to your arms, supporting your back and legs while pushing your body up and down off the ground is supposed to be you cultivating? That third arm sprouting from your chest scrolling on your phone while you read a web novel is you cultivating? "

"Of course."

"The iRobot 1.0 allows me to both cultivate my body and mind all at once. My wife, how can I not be serious when I am putting in double the effort like this?."

"I don't get how you can say that with such a dead serious face."

"My wife, I have been plagued recently by how slowly I have been progressing in my cultivation lately. It has truly burdened my soul, body and mind. Thus, I knew I had to change. Yes, for the sake of our nightlife and future children, I knew I needed to increase my cultivation speed."

"Husband, are you serious?"

My wife's expression contorted just as she questioned how serious I was. It was rather obvious why. The iRobot was truly living up to its name. Right before my wife's eyes, I had broken through to become a 9th realm semi transcendent.

It really appeared my wife wanted to cry. It looks like she was so moved by all the hard work I've put in to reach this stage. After my breakthrough, I got up and embraced her and said in a deep manly voice, "don't worry my wife, your husband is here to shoulder your burdens. It's okay to be moved to tears by your husband's efforts my little darling wife."

"I don't want a husband like this! Can't you just cultivate like a normal person and not ruin my image of cultivation all the time?! Damn it, you're practically denying all cultivators efforts across all the realms! I've never seen such a shameless method to cultivate before!"

"My wife, it couldn't be? Are you jealous right now? Don't worry, I didn't forget about my precious wife. I naturally had the iRobot Pink made as well. Now we can both cultivate at the same time."

Right as I pointed to the pink power suit to one side of the room a ripping sound rang out from below while the soft sensation embraced within my arms disappeared..

Ah. She fled like a rabbit escaping a predator into a tear in space.

Tch. Just when I thought we could cultivate together as a happy family of two. I even went through all the effort to get this second one made for my wife, such a shame.

It was only now it hit me. I had just come to the realization of how powerful a weapon the iRobot Pink was. This was truly an unexpected monstrous weapon that could even leave lower realm gods like my wife trembling and fleeing in fear. Thanks to my wife, I realized I truly could not leave this monstrosity of a weapon out for the public. If such a powerful weapon was dropped into the world of mortals, the repercussions could be unimaginable. Therefore I decided to seal this forbidden weapon away and only bring it out in times of dire need.

(POV Megumi)

What the hell does my husband want me to wear? Lame! So lame! So freaking lame! You want me to wear that disgusting pink abomination? Thanks to this incident, I've come to realize my husband has no fashion sense at all. He probably even thinks the power suit he's wearing looks cool.

Ahahah, why is my husband so lazy? Can he not just cultivate normally? It's so embarrassing, what am I going to do when asked, how did your husband increase his mental energy to such levels in the future? Do I pull out a web novel and point at it confidently? How about how my husband cultivated from a mere mortal to a god? Do I have to pull out that stupid pink power suit and smugly look at them with disdain and say, "this!"

Will I need to demonstrate his mighty push ups as well? Will his secret finishing move in the future be "one push up to rule the world"?

"Ahhhhhhh! I don't want a husband with such an stupid, embarrassing finishing move!"

I was still curious about what husband was doing so I decided to peek on him while hidden within a tear in space.

What the heck is this? He's doing squats now? Did he get tired of being in the same position all the time? What does he really think cultivation is? Exercise? Shouldn't it be deeper that that? Like, oh, I don't know, maybe something about understanding the laws of the world?!

After several hours went by, he had gone through several other activities such as crunches, sit ups, and pull ups.

The last part of his routine almost had me screaming in rage. If the heavens don't smite him down, I will damnit! He had the nerve to ask the little girl to bring in a treadmill. The power suit was already doing the running for him, but he was too lazy to even leave the confines of his own room.

What is wrong with him? I know it was my ulterior motive to lock him up with the cultivators from the Celestial Empire so he would feel pressured to cultivate, but I definitely didn't think he would do this. What happened to the theory of raising Gu? Apparently it doesn't apply to this nonsensical husband of mine.

I'm so frustrated, I don't even know what to say. It's nice that he's getting stronger and all like I wanted, but I thought it would be more eventful if I put him in an interesting environment like this.

Everyone else has been curiously exploring the secrets of the prison while husband has been the only one slacking off like this.

The only time he leaves his room is when he goes to the washroom, which for certain reasons leaves me nervous. Why did he have to choose that particular washroom? Ah, speak of the devil, just as it came to mind, nature was calling my husband once again.

After he finished, what I will now call his half assed cultivation routine, he headed towards a washroom that was deserted and not used by many prisoners. From observing him over time, it appeared that he preferred to not interact with the other prisoners too much. It might just be that he wanted to retain his fake air of a distanced master or he wanted to appear aloof and mysterious. He might have also just been avoiding little Han and Aoi.

This moment always leaves me filled with anxiety, if husband finds that first, wouldn't this whole trial just be a joke?

Better yet, how did it even end up there? I kind of just randomly tossed it into the prison without much thought back then. I didn't bother to interfere with it after that and decided to leave it all up to fate. There were no fancy gimmicks, tricks or hidden rooms. Well, I suppose with where it was now, it could be considered to be hidden in a certain chamber filled with all sorts of secrets.

Ah, husband?! What are you doing?! That's the wrong one! You passed the males bathroom, husband. Can you please not mess around?

Don't look left and right so suspiciously! Are you really that curious about the women's washroom? Wait! Wait! Wait! Hold it! Why that stall?

No, it's fine, there's no way he'll find it. It should be fine. I should really figure what idiot hid it there to begin with though. Giving me all this unnecessary anxiety, I naturally needed to find out who to curse.

I opened up the realm's akashic records and quickly found what I was looking for. Several days after I tossed that item into the prison a certain little girl who was out wandering the prison tripped on a stone on the ground.

As for what she was doing wandering about, it was to find a stone just the right size for a prank she was planning to pull. I understand now. Yes! I truly understand! I understand that I have no idea what that little girl thinks in that tiny little head of hers! If she knew what that stone was, I'd definitely give her a good spanking.

(POV Sanji)

The male toilet smells awful. I absolutely didn't want to use that disgusting thing. Thus, today, since I realized there didn't appear to be any female prisoners that used this particular toilet I decided to take a peek.

I wasn't doing something sketchy or anything, I was just concerned about the sanitary condition of the prison, that was all. So after innocently checking both ways before I crossed the street into the forbidden lands, I made my grand entrance.

What entered my eyes was a whole other world. It was a world without urinal stalls on the wall. There was sugar and spice and everything nice. Be it rainbows, leprechauns, unicorns or other mythical creatures, they all existed in this other world known as the women's toilet.

In all honesty, it was actually identical to the males, just excluding the urinal stalls on the walls. Haah. With disdain in my eyes, because it was the cultivator like thing do, I remorsed about what a let down the secret garden was.

When I eventually got over my disappointment, I went into the stall furthest from the entrance. The stall was almost out of toilet paper, but that wasn't a problem. As I was still wearing the power suit, I figured I'd save on toilet paper and do some squat training to kill two birds with one stone. I was a very diligent person. There was also a certain technique I wanted to master. In case anyone was wondering what the skill I needed to master was, I will need to demonstrate.

The power suit I was wearing had a certain feature built in. It was basically a leaf blower to blow my robes upwards so it wouldn't touch the ground or toilet seat while I did my business.

Thus my rear end descended into a squatting position directly over the gates to hell. When I was comfortable, I began to refine my technique. With my robes fluttering upwards and a dead serious expression on my face like I were about to face a formidable adversary, I let out a loud shout.

"Haaaaaaaaaaah! Haaaaaaaaaaaaah! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Now image the camera angle changing frames a few times every time I repeated the shout of infinite poweruping.

Yes, this was the perfect training for when I was going to reveal my final form to my enemies. Wouldn't it be embarrassing if I fell over while in my squatting position while powering up in the middle of battle? Thus, I came up with this training to make sure I was prepared for when the auspicious day I would need to unleash my true power arrived.

I'm a very cautious person you see. I cannot let my posing fall apart due to a moment of negligence.

Damn, what did I eat though? It was truly like running water, I might even gain enlightenment if I were training in a water based cultivation technique right now. If I were to describe the sound it would be that of a violent waterfall destroying all within its path. A truly unstoppable force which could annihilate all of mankind.

It was truly a case of the birth of one shit to rule the world. Anyways, this finisher move, I will need to seal away due to its fearsome nature. Just imagining the fearsomeness of the move. My night life with my wife would probably be destroyed if this move ever saw the light of day. Truly, the repercussions were too terrifying to even think about. I could only sigh as I looked far off into the distance, known as the door stall, while thinking; with great power comes great responsibility.

When I felt I was finished with my power up training, I flushed the toilet. However, to my dismay, no water filled the toilet bowl after it went down. It was rather embarrassing as the sides of the bowl were tainted by corruption, from the abyss known as my bowels. It felt as though the wretched corruption was happily waving it's little non existent hands for the world to see the deed I had committed.

But it's okay, I can still fix this blunder. Maybe the lever in the back piece of the toilet is just blocked by something. I opened up the lid to the tank and peered into it to check. I found there was a rock wedged under the buoy piece which resulted in water not filling up the back piece. Phew, it was something easy to fix, but why is this rock in here though?

Not suspecting a thing, I thoughtlessly took out the rock wedged under the lever connected to the buoy and it lowered. The moment it descended, like a broken fire hydrant assaulting me, water violated four of my seven orifices. What the hell?! Have I been played? The water was actually rigged to spray upwards instead of down into the tank.

I quickly covered the tank with it's cover and the water filled it up as intended. Once it was full I flushed the toilet properly and the corruption that tainted the bowl said its figurative last words before it disappeared into the far off world beyond the gates to hell.

When I took a good look at what I thought was a rock at first glance, I realized it was actually rather pleasing to the eye. It was partially smooth and spherical, it looked like it was covered in a crusty material like someone had previously tried to disguise it as an ordinary rock. When I rubbed off the outer layer of the material around it, I found it looked closer to a jewel.

There was definitely something mysterious about this jewel. Could this be the famous plebeian stumbles upon hidden treasure in an unexpected location? What if this was the philosopher's stone or something? Wait. Doesn't that actually sound plausible? If the women's washroom was the chamber of secrets where someone hid the philosopher's stone, everything would make sense right?

Pfhaha, like hell that's actually the case. That's too far-fetched even for me. Well, I'll keep this jewel anyways. Maybe I can gift it to my wife to get on her good side or something. I don't need any sketchy rocks or jewels of suspicious origins.