Chapter 122 - Fragile Memories

Noah did his best to act disappointed with Jess' refusal to fly home with them. He never thought that he would end up playing the game Lucille likes to play with him whenever she didn't get what she wants. 

He's a natural. Or maybe because it is easy to act out something that is real. He is indeed disappointed that Jess refused to fly out with them. 

He was hoping that she would agree so he would have more time to spend with her even though the flight home is a short one. 

"I'm sorry Noah but this vacation isn't just mine," she met his eyes, "Also, I don't want to get in the way of you and your daughter's time to bond." 

He knitted his forehead, hearing what she said, "You are not getting in the way of us in any way. Lucille will tell me if that is a case." 

She chuckled softly, "You'll be surprised by the things your daughter didn't tell you." 

Noah gazed at her face with bafflement. 'Why are her words laced with so much sadness?' He wanted to hold her in his arms and kiss away the melancholia in her beautiful eyes. 

He leaned back on his seat, folded his arms over his chest, and gazed at her face. He tried to read what thoughts could possibly be running in her head by the expression on her face.

However, Jess dropped the mask of indifference on her face when she realized she was being observed. 

Noah sighed with frustration. It seemed like he and Jess would just be forever in this see-saw like situation. He is up when she is down and vice versa. They would never be at an equal level of their emotion. 

With the way things were going, the open-ended relationship she wanted would end before it would even begin. He felt as if they were already over before they even started. 

He doesn't understand Jess' apprehension of taking the next step with him. As far as he knew, he was crystal clear with his intention. And yet, Jess was being squirmish with the idea of committing to him in a serious relationship.

He would not have a problem with it if she didn't like him. But he knew for a fact that Jess shared the same feeling with him, so why wouldn't she commit?

She unconsciously folded her own arms under her chest, copying Noah's posture. At first, she met his gaze but she couldn't take the intensity of those blue eyes of his. She was the first one to break eye contact. 

She threw her attention to the calm sea behind Noah. The sea is serene this morning. Its surface was glistening like a crystal under direct sunlight. Making the memory of what happened yesterday felt like a figment of her imagination. 

"Jess --"  Noah called her softly. 

"Hmm," she tilted her head to the side and made the tresses of her hair cascade on her shoulder. They were like shiny vines slithering on her soft skin. 

Noah coughed to clear the sudden dryness of his throat. An image of Jess plastered on a bed, with her hair framing her beautiful face came to mind. A tightening sensation is felt in the crotch area of his pants. 

"I do like you. You know that, right?" 

Her face flushed with the out of nowhere confession from Noah. How could he suddenly mention liking her while they were just discussing his invitation to fly home with him and her refusal to join him and his entourage?

She fidgeted nervously in her seat, as the awkwardness hung in the air. Yet, Noah just stared at her, as if he didn't say anything to make her anxious. 

"You seem to forget things easily, Noah?" She asked with hidden bitterness in her heart. 

"Don't get me wrong. I know that you already gave me your answer," he propped his elbows on the table and leaned forward when he saw the disagreement in her eyes, "and I respect those. I do!" he sighed, "I-I just want to tell you that I like you, -- no, like doesn't sum up with my feelings for you Miss Zimmerman." 

He grabbed her hands and clasped them inside his warm palms, "I love you, Jess. I want you." 

Her jaws dropped with his declaration of love, and when she caught her bearing she pulled her hands from his hold and pushed her chair away. 

She quickly stood up and took wobbly steps to the railing of the balcony that overlooks the sea. The ocean looks so tranquil this morning, she thought as she hugged herself to stop her body from shivering.

The morning sun warmed her skin but Noah's words froze her heart to the core.

She lost it when realization dawned on her that Noah was referencing her stand about their relationship during their last conversation. Meanwhile, she was talking about him; forgetting their first night together. 

Jess realized it was impossible for them to truly have a relationship at that point. How can you have a serious relationship with someone who is not on the same page as you? 

The corner of her eyes stings and she was having difficulty breathing, "Let's not talk about this anymore, Noah." she said with her voice trembling. 

Luke was right. It is hard for her to handle her emotions. Right now she feels so overwhelmed by her emotions that she is even considering jumping off the railing. 

She is not thinking of killing herself. The height of the balcony to the ground isn't even enough to give her good ankle a sprain. 

She merely wanted to distance herself physically from Noah, because she could feel the tears that she had been desperately holding in were about to burst forth like a broken dam. 

"We are done with the dishes!" The cheerful voice of Lucille broke the stifling silence between the two. 

"Did you help uncle Luke?" He picked up Lucille and brought her back inside for she saw Jess' shoulder shaking.