Chapter 183 - Likes And Dislikes

Noah watched doubts and hesitation crossed Jess's eyes. He couldn't blame her. What he did was something worth all the distrust that she could give him. 

He understood that she put her in a situation where she has to think over what happened. Any woman would do. He went incognito after sleeping with her and to add fuel to the ember of distrust in her heart, the stupid misunderstanding of giving her a breakup present. 

She didn't answer his question, she just stared back at his eyes. He exhaled a soft breath and kissed those pairs of eyes that were staring at his soul. 

He doesn't want her to see his guilt and the lies. He could make himself believe that the lies were necessary and he chose to not tell Jess all of it — for now. That he would tell her everything later on when he has an idea of what was happening. 

'Or when you can trust her enough.' a small part of his brain said. 

His lips traced the length of her nose, softly dropping kisses along the way until his lips landed on hers.

He took in a deep breath against her lips, before claiming her mouth for another kiss. Guilt gripped his heart when Jess opened her mouth to let in his invading tongue. 

He was so overwhelmed by guilt that his arm loosened around her body. A sudden feeling of fear overcame him. That he would end up hurting her even if he has no intention to. 

'Should I tell her the truth?' 

He was jolted from his thought when he felt Jess weight on his lower body. His little minx just crawled back to his lap. He chuckled softly against her mouth as he released her lips to inhale much needed oxygen. 

He gathered her hair that cascaded on her face and pushed them away from her face. They were both gasping for air. 

He softly kissed her lips and pulled her back to his arms. This time tighter, as if he was scared to let her go. 

"Noah, I can't breathe," she tapped his back. 

"Sorry, got carried away there for a second," he loosened up his embrace and softly stroked her back. 

"Are you okay?" 

"Hmm, with you in my arms and in my lap - nothing could be better." 

Jess giggled when she heard the usual ringing of teasing in his voice. For a moment, she got a feeling that Noah was scared. 

"You were right, the view from here was amazing," he murmured in her ear when her soft laughter died down. 

Jess, unstraddled herself from Noah's lap. 

"Stay," he whispered.

Her knees buckled when he heard the word that came out of Noah's mouth. She leaned in and kissed the pulse on his neck, and whispered back, "Not going anywhere, Tiefenbacher. Just making myself more comfortable." 

She twisted her body to sit on his lap where her back was against his broad chest, and they were both facing the view from his balcony. 

When she got herself in a comfortable position on his lap, Noah's arms automatically circled Jess's body and pulled her closer to him. 

"How am I going to drink my coffee if you're like this?" 

"Which do you like better — coffee or me?" 

She chuckled when she heard an almost similar question from him, with the one she asked him in the kitchen. She suddenly remembered how Lucille would twist a question and returned to her, just like what Noah did.

'Like daughter, like father.' 

"Coffee," she answered.

Noah clicked his tongue and bit her shoulder. 

Another pit of giggles escaped Jess's mouth. "I was just kidding," she was still giggling when she replied. 

She raised her arm and touched Noah's head that was resting on her shoulder. She gently ruffled his soft hair. "You," she said in a small voice. "...but I want the coffee!" 

He tilted his head and attacked her neck with kisses that made Jess erupted in giggles, breaking the quiet night. 

"Noah — stop! That tickles!" 

"Oh, really," he smirked. 

His own voice was tinted with laughter too. His mouth was an inch away from her jawline, when she hitched her breath, and begged, "Please, enough." 

Her swallow breathing, gasping for air from laughing too much, did something to Noah's lower body that when she squirmed in his lap, her behind felt Noah's hard member. 

"Noah…" she said with a warning. 

"I can't do anything about it," he said, naughtily pulling her to his crotch to press the awakened part of him at her. 

"What do you mean, you can't do anything about it? What are you, a teenager?" 

He scoffed. "When it comes to you, Miss Zimmerman, I have the raging hormones of a teenager over his first crush." 

"And what does it mean?" she laughed. 

"You know how young boys...always have their head in their pants, thinking of pants or lack thereof," his voice dropped to a dangerous decibel. The one that was almost a whisper that always sent a shiver to Jess's back. 

Jess audibly sucked in some air, her breath was clearly shaking from Noah's teasing, but she gripped Noah's hand that was already sliding on her thigh, going under the hem of his oversized hoodie that she was wearing. 

"Noah...coffee." 

"Yes, coffee," he said in a steady voice as if nothing happened. He leaned forward to the table with Jess in his arms to pick up the lukewarm coffee. 

"How about you?" 

He picked up his coffee with his right hand, while his left arm remained clasped on her waistline. "Like this." 

"You got all the answers, huh." 

"Nope. I haven't gotten your answer."

Noah felt Jess's body stiffen on his lap for a few minutes before it went back to normal. She was able to gather her emotions in a snap. 

"I —" 

"I don't need an answer now, Jess," he put down his coffee. He quickly stopped her words for he was scared that Jess would give him an answer that he didn't want to hear. 

When Jess stiffened on his embrace, he got scared that she would say no. So, he stopped her. 

"You —" he put both his arms around her small body. He buried his face on the crooked of her neck, "as long as you let me embrace you like this, you don't have to give me an answer. It's okay." 

"But Noah, that won't be fair." 

"What is fair, Jess? We both know that being fair does not necessarily mean equal. Besides, how do we equate feelings?" 

"It's something that we can't even out," she murmured, hugging Noah's arms which were embracing her. 

"Hmm," he breathed in her scent and kissed her delicate jaw. "This much is fine with me." 

Noah felt Jess sighed a soft breath of relief. 

He knew Jess wasn't ready to fully accept him. And that's okay. He doesn't know what her reason was, but what he learned from yesterday when he was running all over the place searching for her, was that he still has a lot of things that he has to learn about Jess. 

"Thank you," she murmured the two words against the rim of her coffee mug. 

"No, Jess. Thank you...and I'm sorry, I hurt you." 

"Yeah," she scoffed, putting down her coffee mug. She picked up a piece of mini-pineapple tart, gave it to Noah to open for her, "...but it's okay. I got myself a new diamond ring. With that we can say, we evened out." 

He ripped the clear plastic of the mini-pineapple tart and laughed. "Where was the ring? I didn't see it," he said, lifting her left hand. 

"Probably somewhere in my room. I was too drunk yesterday, and woke up late this morning." 

"Say ahh," 

"Ahh," she said, confused with Noah asking her to say ah, then she tasted the mini-pineapple tart that he shoved in her mouth. 

She bit and chewed the sweetness of the treat. She laughed softly and asked, "I want more." 

Noah bent forward and picked up the plate of mini pineapple tart, gave it to Jess to hold, and then opened another want and fed it to Jess. 

No one talked as Noah opened the pineapple for her and she enjoyed them. 

When the plate of pineapple tart was mostly covered with clear plastic and Noah had to move his hand around it to find an unopened tart, he said, "You really like this?" 

"I like pineapple." 

"You like coffee, pineapple, Ghibli film, the band Franz Ferdinand, wine...what are the other things that you like, Jess?" 

"Wasn't it listed to the information that you had about me?" 

"Uhm," he cleared his throat. "About that, I didn't ask for things that at the time, I thought were unnecessary in pursuing you...I had a shortsighted vision -  I just want you to agree to my dinner invitation." 

"You had me investigated, Noah. Should I take your words that you were telling the truth?" 

"I am telling the truth. I didn't know things other than your bio and some like that apparently, as Antonio said, I could easily find out if I just follow you on Instagram." 

When Jess remained quiet, he added, "Jess, I didn't know that the man in your apartment is your father."