Chapter 153 - My Costar Just Wants To Relax

[Gao Wu: I don't want to do this anymore]

That's the last message Gao Wu sent Jia Hao. Yao Shen reads it aloud to Xin Hulei, who frowns.

"Was it Jia Hao who lured him to the garden?"

Yao Shen stammers, trying to make sense of his own thoughts. "I- it's not like he could have killed him. He's a ghost, just a regular ghost, not a hungry ghost or any other corrupted form that could have caused harm to a human."

Xin Hulei stays silent for some time, his dark eyes narrowed. "What else does their conversation show?"

Yao Shen scrolls up, scanning all the back and forth texts quickly.

There's more than he anticipated, considering Gao Wu's initial reaction when Jia Hao started messaging him.

That last message was sent unprompted. Jia Hao hadn't been texting Gao Wu for some time when he made the decision to send that last text. What did he mean by 'I can't do this anymore'. Those words sounded so ominous, as if Gao wu had some inkling of what was going to happen to him.

But even before that last eerie text, their conversation wasn't what Yao Shen would expect.

[Jia Hao Hao: I didn't think you'd want to keep talking with me after you found out I was a ghost]

[Gao Wu: Why not? Did you think I would be afraid?]

[Jia Hao Hao: most people are]

[Gao Wu: I think it's wrong of you to stay here, you should have moved on a long time ago, but I'm not scared of you]

[Gao Wu: Don't you want to reincarnate?]

[Jia Hao Hao: I've been dead for such a long time, I don't even remember what being alive feels like]

[Gao Wu: hahaha you know what's funny? I'm alive but I feel the same way]

[Jia Hao Hao: I don't think that's funny]

Yao Shen doesn't think it's funny either, and he needs to take a moment to stop reading out the texts to Xin Hulei.

"I think...I think there was more going on with Gao Wu than we thought."

"You mentioned...he was an orphan?"

Yao Shen nods.

"What his family does is dangerous work. Not only because exorcising innocent demons isn't easy, and no demon will go down without a fight." He pauses. "Unless they are cowardly ambushed."

Yao Shen can tell Xin Hulei's pride took a hit from falling into Gao Wu's trap. He's been moodier than usual ever since he woke up from the coma. Yao Shen will do his best to make him feel like a big, scary demon in bed again very soon.

He clears his throat, pointedly ignoring Yao Shen's knowing smirk. "In any case, there are legitimately dangerous creatures that benefit from being sent back to Youdu, from hungry ghosts, to jiangshi... his family would have handled all of them."

"And you think they died as a result?" Yao Shen asks.

"It's possible." Xin Hulei shrugs, shifting his weight and bracing himself on his hands against the counter. "I think it's also possible that he felt a huge amount to pressure from being the last descendant. He should have been training up a successor, whether a child or an apprentice."

"I don't think he was."

"'I can't do this anymore' could have referred to that." He shrugs again, the fabric of his t-shirt pulling against the breadth of his shoulders distractingly. "He could be having an identity crisis after his confrontation with you and Liansi."

That isn't reassuring. The tone of Gao Wu's more recent messages is even more glum than the usual, already pretty bleak, conversations he had with Jia Hao about the nature of life.

Another thing that surprises Yao Shen is just how different Gao Wu was when talking with Jia Hao than what he showed in public when interacting with the other actors and crew. Yao Shen's image of him is so sunny and bright, he remembers him always smiling and cheerful.

He would never have guessed that sunny facade hid such an introspective, sensitive, and sad person. 

That's what stands out most about Gao Wu's texts. How sad he was. How lonely.

[Gao Wu: do you ever get lonely?]

[Jia Hao Hao: I guess, that's why I wanted to start talking with you]

[Gao Wu: do I look lonely too?]

[Jia Hao Hao: I don't know, you looked like someone who would understand me]

[Gao Wu: I guess I do]

[Jia Hao Hao: that's good! We can keep each other company!]

[Gao Wu: you're dead, and I might as well be]

[Jia Hao Hao: don't say that. you're just sad. feeling very sad can sometimes feel like death, but it's different. I know, because I was very sad, and then I died]

[Jia Hao Hao: you don't stop being sad just because you're dead. It's very unfair]

[Gao Wu: does it ever get better?]

[Jia Hao Hao: being dead? no]

[Gao Wu:  hahaha no, being sad]

[Jia Hao Hao: with time everything gets better. It's very unfair don't you think? Time is the one thing the living lack, and the one thing the dead have plenty of. I have all this time, but I have nothing to do with it now]

[Gao Wu: do you wish you were still alive?]

[Jia Hao Hao: I wish I had never died. I don't know if there's a difference, but it feels different to me]

[Gao Wu: there's a difference]

[Jia Hao Hao: I just wish I could have experienced all the good stuff that happened after I died, instead of being a bystander to it]

[Gao Wu: a lot of bad stuff happened too]

[Jia Hao Hao: when you're a ghost you only notice all the things you're missing out on]

[Jia Hao Hao: I died without having a boyfriend, you know~~]

Yao Shen doesn't know what to make of most of their conversations. He wonders what Jia Hao made of them too.

The Gao Wu he met was a very different person than the one he idealised. And yet all his messages remain kindly encouraging and optimistic. Understanding without being coddling.

In the week leading up to Gao Wu's death they almost didn't text. There's no previous disagreement, or any intention to start using another messaging system, the texts simply putter out. 

To Yao Shen that stands out as odd. Jia Hao went through so much effort to get Gao Wu's number, he wouldn't just stop talking with him. By his own admission he'd been interested in Gao Wu for such a long time, why would he stop talking with him now that the two of them were friends?

And it is Jia Hao who cuts back on their texts, because Gao Wu kept texting him regularly for a while, even when he didn't get any answer back.

He even told him he was coming to Hengdian and that they would be able to meet soon. 

A message to which Jia Hao never replied.

---

Combing through Gao Wu's texts with Jia Hao only brings them more questions. Now they also have the mystery of Jia Hao's sudden disappearance.

Yao Shen almost doesn't notice when Xin Hulei takes the mobile out of his hands. "Stop looking at it. We won't find out anything from staring at it."

Yao Shen makes an halfhearted grab for the phone but Xin Hulei keeps it out of his reach easily. "Enough for today. I'm going to make us dinner." His face makes some complicated expression that Yao Shen assumes must be his attempt to look angry. "And you're going to relax."

Yao Shen can't help grinning at him. It's amazing how Xin Hulei can be such a bad actor when trying to act as himself, instead of as someone.

"Or what? Are you going to punish me for being a bad boy?" 

"No, you clearly want that," he says, impassive. "I'm going to ignore you for the rest of the day."

Yao Shen sees the error of his ways very fast after that, and tries to put Gao Wu's death and Jia Hao's disappearance out of his mind.

He's mostly succeeding, while cuddling with Xin Hulei on the couch, until Xin Hulei's phone starts vibrating wildly on the coffee table.

Xin Hulei is close to kicking it off the table when Yao Shen snatches it up.

He reads Tan Liansi's message right there from the notifications.

[Tan Liansi: Have you seen this shit? (link)]

Yao Shen can't hold back from tapping the link, and is led right away to weibo where Gao Wu's death has now reached the general public and occupies pretty much all trending positions.

The speculation is growing rampant, but the post Tan Liansi links is the most inflammatory of all.

[Could actor Gao Wu could have been killed in a fit of jealousy?! The actor has been linked to newcomer Yao Shen, playing one of the title roles in the drama 'Crimson Promise'. The two were seen a few months ago on what looked like a date, although many noticed Xin Hulei's presence there, which seemed to upset the pair, according to eye-witnesses at the time.

In the drama, Xin Hulei plays Yao Shen's love interest and main character, with Gao Wu playing the second male lead destined to see his love find happiness in another's arms. Many suspect that like in the show both actors disputed Yao Shen's affections, maybe, like the show, only one of them could have him! Read all about it here.]