Chapter 169 - My Costar Is Mistaken About His Feelings

The scene dissolves around him. Yao Shen opens his eyes and finds Si Wang screaming in his face.

"You're such a fucking bleeding heart," he shouts, his eyes blazing as he looks down at the Crown Prince seated next to Yao Shen on a bed in a plain room. They must be in the Crown Prince's lodgings in Youdu.

The Crown Prince remains silent, but Si Wang has more to say, "What does it matter how I became a ghost king?"

"It matters to me," the Crown Prince says, between gritted teeth.

"Did that demon tell you about it?" he asks. "You're impossible, there isn't a lost cause you don't think about picking up."

That's right, Yao Shen thinks, Si Wang doesn't know about the Crown Prince's meeting with Xin Hulei in the forest, and what transpired between them.

He knows for a fact it won't remain like that for long.

"What did you do?" the Crown Prince insists, his voice steady.

Yao Shen can tell from Si Wang's eyes that he's debating going on another tirade, but something about the searching look in the Crown Prince's eyes makes him click his mouth shut.

"Fine, since you're so determined to find even more reason to hate me." His words are coated with bitterness, but it's obvious he is also relishing the opportunity to hurt the Crown Prince. "I thought you were dead, you disappeared out of nowhere, and there were people after you. I thought they killed you...what else was I supposed to do?"

"So you killed them?" the Crown Prince asks, a muscle in his jaw twitching. Yao Shen remembers the group of mercenaries sent after him, and the people behind them.

He has no problem imagining Si Wang orchestrating their deaths -- but he doesn't think he stopped there.

"I did, and everyone else who had ever hurt you -- or me."

The Crown Prince's back goes rigid. He knows that's a long list. "How- how many..."

Si Wang smiles. He didn't want to admit it at first, but now that he's talking about it, relieving the memories gives him immense pleasure. "Thousands, enough for me to lose count. I started with father's harem. All those bitches who liked calling me a bastard," he grins, childish and excited. "I loved seeing them squeal. Of course I made father watch, not that he cared. All he did was beg for his life."

The Crown Prince looks up at his brother in open revulsion, but Si Wang can't stop himself now, he's overwhelmed with the manic desire to brag about everyone he killed, how much pleasure he got from taking revenge for small and large slights alike. 

He might not know how many he killed, but he delights in recalling the more gruesome deaths in vivid detail.

The disgust in the Crown Prince's face only grows, and while Si Wang notices it, he also knows that there's no turning back. His brother will never look at him with the kindness of an older brother again. But that was never what he wanted, not really.

And if he can't have that, he might as well have the Crown Prince's hatred. After all, an enemy is not easily forgotten.

He grins and spreads his arms wide. "When he blood reached my ankles, a god came to see me...I guess you know the rest of the story."

The Crown Prince scoffs and gets up to his feet, trying to get out of Si Wang's way, but Si Wang holds him back by the elbow.

"Do you want to know why I decided to become a ghost king instead of a god?"

The Crown Prince wrenches his sleeve free with a sharp tug. He glares at his brother. "Not particularly."

Si Wang smiles and it turns his young face into something cruel, almost animal. "I asked him where you went, and I decided to come after you." His grin widens like a threat. "You won't be so easily rid of me."

The Crown Prince's nostrils flare with hatred as he turns his back on his brother and leaves the room. As the scene dissolves around them, Yao Shen is left with Si Wang's manically laughter ringing in his ears.

---

He's back in the brothel, or rather, the Crown Prince is. 

He's kneeling at the table, pouring wine for Xin Hulei, but there's something angry and aggressive about his movements. Even through the veil, Xin Hulei can tell that something isn't right.

"Did something happen?" he asks, his eyes fixed on the Crown Prince's fierce grip on the gold wine pitcher.

"No...just, a disagreement."

Xin Hulei's smooth features twitch in confusion. "Between you and, the, uh, other workers?"

The Crown Prince lets out a soft chuckle. "You could say that, we have different views regarding how things should be run...around here."

Xin Hulei nods thoughtfully, although inside he must be thinking that there really shouldn't be that much discord regarding how to run a brothel --  it's a fairly straightforward business.

Even so, he wants to be considerate, and make sure he's understanding of the Crown Prince's struggles.

It's one of his most charming qualities, his empathy. Yao Shen can't help smiling at him, even though this is merely a memory and Xin Hulei has no idea he's there.

"That must be hard, I'm sure you have very valuable suggestions, they should listen to you."

The Crown Prince hugs one of his knees to his chest and supports his cheek on top of it, looking up at Xin Hulei from the floor. His breathing makes his veil flutter, and Xin Hulei's eyes are drawn to the movement.

"What makes you so sure, that I have something valuable to say?"

Xin Hulei clears his throat, the Prince's tone is leading, and he doesn't know how to react.

"You seem...smart, capable."

Yao Shen wants to laugh at him. What a thing to tell a prostitute.

The Crown Prince chuckles again, his eyes crinkling in mirth. "What a thing to tell a prostitute."

Xin Hulei pulls on the collar of his robes. Yao Shen is amused to notice all the small differences between this younger Xin Hulei and his Xin Hulei.

This Xin Hulei wasn't yet as self-possessed and effortlessly cool as the present Xin Hulei. Despite his stoic appearance, he was more easily flustered. 

"I'm sure that's not all you are," Xin Hulei says, after clearing his throat.

He doesn't know the half of it. The Crown Prince must share Yao Shen's thoughts because he laughs. "No, I suppose not." 

He leans across the table to pick up one of the wine cups and drinks it, lifting his veil only slightly.

"But tell me...what brought you to our establishment?" he asks, already pouring himself another cup.

Xin Hulei sighs. "I just wanted...to think."

The Crown Prince nods. "That's usually why people come to brothels, yes."

One corner of Xin Hulei's lips ticks up. "I'm a very original person."

"I can tell." The Crown Prince is smiling at him, he can't take his eyes off Xin Hulei. Despite the circumstances, he's glad to see him again, glad for this opportunity to see and talk with him again, this time as himself -- or almost.

"But really, what brings you here."

Xin Hulei remains silent for sometime, and then eventually lets out a sigh, running his fingers through the messy strands of his hair. "There's someone I...might have feelings for."

"Oh," the Crown Prince says, his shoulders dropping.

"And I might have come to the realisation that those feelings might never be returned." 

"Why not?" the Crown Prince asks, pouring himself another thimble sized cup of wine, and dawning all its contents in a single swig.

"He's my shizun, for one," he looks at the Crown Prince to check if he's really interested in hearing him rant of just humouring him, and the Crown Prince nods at him to go on, "and I just saw him kiss my, shixiong, who is also my best friend...so...it's not, looking very promising for my side."

Yao Shen knows how much Xin Hulei suffered over his first heartbreak, and hearing him talk about it so casually, with such grim humour, in an attempt to hide the pain he is really feeling, just hammers home how much it cost him. How young he was, back then.

The Crown Prince remains silent for a while, one arm still wrapped around his knee, while the fingers of the other hold on to the wine cup loosely.

"What do you like about your shizun? Maybe you can like someone else."

It's clear that Xin Hulei doesn't expect to hear that question, but he still humours the Crown Prince. "Well, I....there was this time I lost my sight, and he looked after me."

The Crown Prince's eyes widen and his grip on the wine cup goes suddenly tight. Yao Shen notices all the changes in him, but Xin Hulei is oblivious, completely lost in his own memories.

"I'll never forget how kind and attentive he was during that time...how, close." He sighs. "He hasn't been like that ever since, it almost makes me wish I was blind again."

Something shifts in the Crown Prince's expression. He puts down the wine cup on the table and gets up to his feet.

Both Xin Hulei and Yao Shen watch as he crosses the tiny room and sits down on Xin Hulei's lap, his thighs falling open around Xin Hulei's legs.

"How about I help you get your mind off him?"