Chapter 14 - My Costar And I Make The Rounds Online

The video starts playing.

Xin Hulei is sitting in his chair, talking calmly and evenly about Yao Shen's script reading.

Moments later, Yao Shen's furious, "What the fuck is your problem?" rings through the quiet of the room.

The video captures everyone's shocked looks, and Xin Hulei's stony expression.

After that there's a short snippet of the directors trying to calm him down, and then the video cuts to Yao Shen following Xin Hulei out of the room.

It's not a good look for Yao Shen.

It makes him look like a spoiled brat that can't take any criticism.

He returns the phone back to Bi Jialu and gets up from the table. "I'm going to my trailer to rest until the next scene."

Gao Wu gives him a worried look. "Gege didn't finish his food..."

Yao Shen shakes his head and spares him a brief smile. "It's fine, I'm not hungry."

Xin Hulei watches him leave in silence, his chin resting on his folded hands as his eyes follow Yao Shen's retreating back with a pensive look.

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Bi Jialu tries to breach the subject of the video all the way to the trailer, but Yao Shen only replies with silent nods and the occasional hum.

He asks her for some time on his own when he reaches his trailer, and she finally acquiesces.

"Please call me if you need anything, laoshi," she says, chewing her lower lip in worry.

Yao Shen isn't going to call anyone. He's going to wallow in self-pity for as long as he can.

And hope that the video doesn't reach anyone back home. He can only imagine his father's pleasure at his public humiliation.

It feels like every time he's about to reach a breakthrough something drags him back down.

He curls up in the low cot pushed up against one of the trailer's walls, uncaring of how it wrinkles his costume.

He can almost hear his father's mocking voice, his glee at seeing Yao Shen fail time and time again.

Never one to stop torturing himself, Yao Shen takes out his mobile to find out what exactly people are saying about him.

The video is number four on the hot search.

Yao Shen lets out an anguished groan, and dives in into the comment sections.

['Fairy of a thousand realms': I can't believe this spoiled little boy is going to be playing Yan Shuyi. I have zero expectations for the drama.]

['Cute little Samoyed': I can't believe how rude he was to Leilei! How are they going to play lovers if their relationship off screen is this bad?]

['HuanYi eternal love': @Cute little Samoyed, Exactly! They're ruining my favorite CP. The actors' visuals are okay, but they need to have chemistry off screen too! This is going to be a disaster.]

['Melon Eater': Didn't you all see the video of his performance in "Lights, Camera, Actors!"? Xin Hulei completely eviscerated him. There's been bad blood between these two for some time.]

['#1 Shizunfucker': It's like they want the drama to fail/cries]

Yao Shen reads through a variation of very similar sentiments, and a few comments where people downright curse him out, say he's jealous of Xin Hulei's success and accomplishments, and even accuse him of owning stock in a rival production company.

All of those Yao Shen can ignore.

But the ones where people express doubt about how well he'll be able to portray Yan Shuyi's feeling for Xie Huan dig at him the deepest.

The worst part is that if people believe he and Xin Hulei hate each other, no amount of good acting on screen will convince them otherwise. The most virtuous performance will only earn scorn.

Not everyone wants to ship the actors playing a romantic pairing on screen, but absolutely everyone wants them to be at least friendly.

Yao Shen might have single-handedly shattered that illusion for everyone interested in watching the drama for the love line between the protagonists.

After this, the production company will have no choice but to replace him.

Wasn't his bad luck over? Why does he fell like it just got worse?

There's a sudden knock at the door, which Yao Shen ignores, hoping it will go away.

It doesn't, instead the door is unceremoniously opened and someone steps into his trailer uninvited.

Only one person would have the audacity.

Yao Shen spares Xin Hulei, still standing in the doorway, a seething glare. "I don't want company, go away."

Xin Hulei ignores him and walks into the trailer, taking a seat on the bed by Yao Shen's head, the thin mattress dipping under the extra weight.

"Are you done feeling sorry for yourself?" Xin Hulei asks, crossing his calf over his knee in a display of careless insouciance.

Yao Shen burrows into the pillow, probably staining it beyond repair with foundation. "No, so you better leave if you don't want to be a witness to my pity party."

Xin Hulei hums. "You might have no control over what you feel, but you're in control of how you react to your feelings."

He waits for a beat, his eyes fixed on Yao Shen's unmoving form. "Being impulsive is not a quality."

Yao Shen has had it with Xin Hulei's condescension.

He sits up on the bed, fixing Xin Hulei with glare, his hands almost shaking with anger. "You would know all about that, wouldn't you? You're solid as a rock and stiff as a board, after all."

Yao Shen scoffs. "It's a miracle you can act, considering I haven't seen you display a single human emotion, off camera."

Predictably, Xin Hulei doesn't react to Yao Shen's words, his cold expression unchanging.

Yao Shen is about to lose his temper again, when Xin Hulei finally speaks, "Your impulsiveness is a defense mechanism. You lash out, to prevent something else from hurting you first."

Now it's Yao Shen's turn to be at a loss for words.

Xin Hulei levels him with his steady, penetrating gaze. Yao Shen feels as if his dark, opaque eyes, can read him like an open book.

Pry into his soft insides and look at the shivering red mess of him.

"But what good is a defense mechanism if it only causes you problems?"

Yao Shen doesn't have an answer for him, and isn't even sure if Xin Hulei expects one.

Xin Hulei leans in closer to Yao Shen, their faces an hairsbreadth apart. Yao Shen's pulse races at the sudden closeness, while Xin Hulei looks as collected as ever -- as if being within kissing distance of Yao Shen is a daily occurrence for him.

"You say I don't display any emotions, don't mistake that for not feeling them," he says, his voice low and smoky. Yao Shen feels his warm breath against his skin like a physical touch.

"I just don't see any advantage in broadcasting my thoughts for all to see," he cranes his neck to side, the corner of his lips ticking up in faint amusement. "Tranquility yields transcendence (1)."

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(1) this idiom can be translated as "still waters run deep", a placid exterior can hide a passionate interior -- or in the spirit of the original Chinese idiom, a calm person is often extraordinary.