Chapter 110 - My Costar's Shizun Is Not Far

Finding his memories among billions of others feels to Yao Shen like an insurmountable task.

He wracks his brain for a way to find his memories faster, but nothing comes to him. He guesses the only way out is up.

He starts climbing, stopping every each step to check the vials.

Pretty quickly, he comes to the realization that the vials on the lower shelves are all older, so there's no point in him bothering with them. Although he can't be sure when his first life started he's fairly sure it didn't take him that long from dying, becoming a ghost king, to reincarnating for the first time.

He climbs higher, until he can finally read the characters on each vial. They all have names, sometimes dates (which helps), sometimes not. 

Yao Shen can't help picking a few vials and inspecting them more carefully. "Newborn girl, died without a first name or family name on the same day she was born."

It sends a chill down Yao Shen's spine. 

What a cruelty, to let someone be born just to take their live. He can't even imagine the horrible sight of some kindhearted ghost carrying the little girl in their arms so that Meng Po could feed her the soup of forgetfulness. All so she could get rid of those painful few seconds of existence.

That little girl is not the only one. As he keeps going up the stairs he finds just as many vials with heartbreaking inscriptions.

"Yi Ning, died protecting his wife from enemy soldiers,"

"Da Lian, brutalized by enemy soldiers after watching her husband die,"

"Simu Rong, aged 6, remembers being very hungry and then nothing,"

"Anonymous, doesn't remember anything at all, but is glad it's all over nonetheless."

The banality and cruelty of death would floor him, if it wasn't for the other kind of inscriptions:

"Song Daikun, aged 78 died in his sleep, after telling his family to stop nagging him. Is looking forward to meeting his parents again in his next life, if he can,"

"Li Na, the world is so beautiful, the underworld is so beautiful, she's so happy she got to see all of it,"

"Fang Yuxin, is looking forward to new adventures,"

"Sun Yi, always wanted to meet me."

That last one makes Yao Shen realize something very obvious. These inscriptions have all been painstakingly carved by Meng Po. She must have spent a moment learning about each of the deceased, about their lives, before taking their memories. 

An itch travels all the way up his nose, clogging his throat and eyes on the way. Yao Shen blames the dust for it.

This little cramped room is the result of thousands of years of safe-keeping, of the efforts of a single woman to keep track of all the lives lived. Meng Po's entire existence has been dedicated to keeping a record of everyone else's.

Something about it, all the loneliness, and all the love, she must have poured into it, fills him with grief, and with gratitude too. Grief that she was a lone memory keeper for so long, gratitude that she was there to do it anyway.

Yao Shen doesn't know how long he climbs, searching for traces of himself. 

It's a shame none of his Ghost King skills can help him with this. Who knows how long he'll have to spend here until he finds his own memories.

He might have been climbing for hours when something catches his eye, the tail end of an inscription"...wishes he had more time with Xie Huan."

When Yao Shen can read all of it, the shock nearly makes him drop the fragile vial. 

"Yan Shuyi, inconsolable, wishes he had more time with Xie Huan."

It didn't even cross his mind that Yan Shuyi's memories would be here too. 

Yao Shen only needs to deliberate for a few seconds before pocketing the vial. He doesn't like the idea of lying to Meng Po, but he can't leave Yan Shuyi's memories here either. After all, he's an important piece of the events leading up to his and Xie Huan's death.

If there's any way to have access to his memories, Yao Shen needs to find it.

Finding Yan Shuyi's memory vial means something else too -- it means that Yao Shen's own can't be too far away.

By all accounts he died shortly after Yan Shuyi, which means his own vial should be easy to find nearby.

Tired as he is, Yao Shen keeps climbing, looking painstakingly into each shelf all around him.

Finally, he finds it, "Yao Shen, has regrets."

Yao Shen has to laugh at that, yeah, he'll bet. Almost shaking with relief and exhaustion, he pockets his own vial, and prepares himself for the descent.

When he looks down he's so high up that the floor looks like the dark end of a well. 

"Is there a faster way to come down?" he shouts into the darkness below him, hoping that maybe Meng Po will hear him.

"You can always jump," she says.

Nevermind, he'll just use the ladder.

---

An undetermined amount of time later, Yao Shen finally reaches the floor of Meng Po's house. His legs are shaking and he feels like his arms are made of noodles, but he made it.

Meng Po is waiting for him with her hands clasped behind her back. "Not bad, I thought you would give up at some point."

That's not reassuring at all, but Yao Shen is too tired to argue. He lets himself crumple to the floor and rests his head against the shelves, taking in big heaving breaths.

"If you want to remember, all you need to do is drink it," Meng Po says, pulling Yao Shen up from the floor with an annoyed tsk. "Now, if you don't mind, get out of my house. I don't usually entertain guests and you've just reminded me of why."

She's a nasty old croon, but Yao Shen feels an almost overwhelming wave of affection towards her. He throws propriety to the wayside and bends over to kiss her wrinkled cheek. "Thank you, Granny Meng."

Meng Po freezes up from the shock and then starts smacking him on the back and arms. "You really are in love with me! Insolent boy, an old woman like me...youth these days have no respect."

Yao Shen leaves under a rain of her weak blows, trying not to laugh at her poor attempts at outrage.

Now that he has the vial of his memories, as well as Yan Shuyi's, he feels lighter, as if he could float up all the way to the top of Meng Po's memory shelves.

---

Yao Shen decides to find Si Wang and ask him if he found any new information about the seal before returning to the mortal realm.

The only place he can think to search for him in is that same administrative building where he first met all the kings.

As he draws nearer the sound of raised voices reaches him. Playing it safe, he activates his Invisibility ability and tries to overhear the heated conversation going on inside.

Jiu Wang is pacing the courtyard, his flowing robes billowing behind him as he cuts through the swats of greenery with long strides. "We are playing with fire."

Er Wang, sitting on a low wall overlooking the courtyard shrugs her shoulders. "We have handled him all the previous times before, why would this time be any different?"

Jiu Wang stops in his tracks, the long curtain of his loose hair slipping over his shoulders, as he turns to face Er Wang. "He's getting ideas, and going around asking too many questions."

Again, Er Wang doesn't seem to share his concerns. "You heard Si Wang, he's just following along to the instructions Si Wang has given him. Everything is going exactly according to plan."

Looking at the scene from the safety of a privacy screen, Yao Shen can't help feeling pleased with himself. Nothing is going according to Si Wang's plan, or Yao Shen wouldn't have found out about his involvement with the attack that might have led to his death that day on the brothel.

The other ghost kings can continue to underestimate him at their own peril.

Yao Shen won't even blame them -- he underestimated himself for a long time too.

No more.

"He's asking about how to remove Xin Hulei's seal, don't you think that's odd?" Jiu Wang asks, his anger twists his delicate features in odd ways, making his face look almost like a distorted painting.

This time, Er Wang concedes his point with a slow nod, but is quick to add, "It doesn't matter either way, because I didn't tell Si Wang how to remove it, and so, Shi Wang will never find out about it."

Jiu Wang is not convinced. "The two of us are not the only ones who know how to remove it. What are you going to if he makes his way to the Black and White Impermanences?"

With catlike grace, Er Wang climbs down from her perch. She pats Jiu Wang on the cheek as she walks by him. "You worry too much. There's four of us, and one of him. What can he possibly do?"

From the cover of the Invisibility skill, Yao Shen grins. He can't wait to show all of them.