Chapter 133 - My Costar Is Right Beside Me

Xie Huan looks just like Yao Shen imagined. 

He's tall and imposing, with a haughty slash of a smirk. The dark spill of his hair falls over his shoulders like a waterfall. He shoulders forward, hiding Yan Shuyi's more slender form behind him.

Yan Shuyi pushes him to the side with the back of his hand.

"Xie Huan! Stop being disrespectful."

"This disciple apologises," Xie Huan says, not at all apologetic.

Yao Shen watches the scene play out in wonder, but when he looks to his side, he finds Xin Hulei's handsome features twisted in a pained grimace.

It must hurt him immensely, to see these ghosts of his past, talking and breathing as if it's their deaths, and not this figment of life, that is the illusion. 

Unable to say anything that can soothe the pain he must be feeling, Yao Shen simply laces their fingers together. Squeezing softly.

The Crown Prince looks equally pained by what he's seeing in front of him -- albeit, for different reasons.

"You're his Shizun," he says, mostly to himself.

Yan Shuyi is quick to catch on to the implications. "You've found Xin Hulei."

The Crown Prince lowers his eyes and nods. Yao Shen can see his lips moving silently, he's whispering Xin Hulei's name to himself, keeping it like a precious gift.

"He's in the cabin, just a few paces to the west," the Crown Prince says, his voice small. "He's still recovering from his injuries, and has lost his vision."

Both Xie Huan and Yan Shuyi immediately exchange alarmed looks. "How is he?"

"He's well, he doesn't seem dispirited by his blindness," the Crown Prince says, a small smile curling his upper lip. "His eyes don't look injured so perhaps it's temporary."

Yan Shuyi lets out a sigh of relief. "Thank you for helping him."

The Crown Prince nods, but doesn't move from his current position. Unwilling to part with Xin Hulei for good.

"He thinks I'm you," he says, in a rush, lifting his eyes to meet Yan Shuyi. "Don't tell him the truth."

Yan Shuyi frowns. "Why?"

"Please," it's all the Crown Prince says.

Finally, Yan Shuyi nods.

Relief steals across the Crown Prince's face, but it only lasts a moment before being replaced by a deep sadness. His illusion is shattering, and he'll have to return to his bitter reality.

He rummages through the sleeve pockets of his outer robes and fishes out a pure white jade token, with creamy white silk tassels.

Yao Shen recognises it at once as the one Xin Hulei kept in the lacquered box in his Beijing apartment. Xin Hulei recognises it too, his fingers squeezing Yao Shen's.

"Give this to him," the Crown Prince says, passing the jade token along to Yan Shuyi. "Tell him it's a gift from you."

Yan Shuyi looks down at the jade token in his hand in confusion. "What's your name?"

The Crown Prince smiles sadly and shakes his head. "It doesn't matter." He lowers his neck to both Yan Shuyi and Xie Huan in a short bow, and drops the bamboo basket from his back, letting it drop to the snowy ground. 

"Farewell."

Xie Huan stops him with a hand on his shoulder when he tries to walk past him. "He'll be in Frozen Peak sect, if you ever want to introduce yourself and be properly thanked for your help."

Slowly, the Crown Prince nods, and goes on his way.

Yan Shuyi and Xie Huan watch his retreating back for a moment, before leaving in the opposite direction.

Xin Hulei's grip on Yan Shen's hand relaxes. 

"It all makes sense now." He lets out a dry chuckle. "Everything changed after 'Shizun' returned with Xie Huan, he was no longer as attentive and caring with me. The pettiest part of me blamed Xie Huan. Later when I found out about their relationship I thought I understood the reason for Shizun's distance."

Yao Shen and Xin Hulei watch as the Crown Prince's hunched figure grows smaller and smaller, until a gust of wind whips up a flurry of snow that hides him from view.

---

In the next memory the Crown Prince is back in what looks like the Imperial palace. He's in his private rooms, shoving clothes in an haphazardly into plain looking rucksacks. 

Si Wang is watching him move around the room with an expression of utter betrayal.

"You've just got back from the border and you're leaving again?" His tone is incredulous, his features twisted into a mask of indignity.

"The treaty has been finalised, I've accomplished what I went there to do," the Crown Prince says, ignoring his younger brother's protest's as he moves around the room.

"What about me?" Si Wang complains. There's a permanent notch between his eyebrows even when his features smooth out. Time has passed since the last time they saw him, but despite the age difference he looks almost as old as the Crown Prince.

"Do you have any idea of what I've had to do? Your position isn't safe, everyone wants the throne."

His brother turns around with a long-suffering sigh. "You're right, and I'm thankful for all that you've done, but you can stop now."

"What?"

"I don't want the throne. I wanted to help people and I did that as a soldier and general much better than I ever will has an Emperor who needs to keep dozens of ministers happy."

"What are you trying to say?" Si Wang asks, his hackles raised.

"That I don't want to be Emperor," he turns to Si Wang with a smile and claps him on the back. "In fact, I think you'd make a much better Emperor than me."

Si Wang pales just as if the Crown Prince had slapped him. "I don't want to be Emperor. I want you to be Emperor, and I want to be your adviser."

The Crown Prince frowns. "Why would you want that? You should have your own life." He spares his younger brother an indulgent smile as he finishes making his bags. "You're not a child anymore. You can't spend your life running around me, begging for attention."

His words are well-meaning, but Si Wang goes even paler, his hands clenched into fists at his side. "You don't mean that."

The Crown Prince hefts two bags on his back with a grunt. "I do."

"Where are you even going?" Si Wang asks, his tone pleading.

"I'm tired of the dust of the mortal world, maybe I should dedicate myself to religion," the Crown Prince says, with a glint in his eye.

His cryptic words just make Si Wang grow more aggravated. "Religion?"

"Yes, I'm thinking of committing my heart to Daoism."

There's a sort of manic energy to the Crown Prince, a certain blind determination that Yao Shen recognises in himself, too. The same kind of crazy conviction that pushed him to pursue and acting career against all reason, now seems to be pushing the Crown Prince into the world of Jianghu.

Yao Shen bets he can guess his destination.

The Crown Prince leaves the room, but Si Wang follows after him. "Where are you going?"

He shrugs. "I'm going to see the world, but I hope to end up on Frozen Peak sect."

The memory dissolves around Si Wang's enraged face.

---

The next time they see him, the Crown Prince doesn't resemble his title at all, his robes are dirty and tattered from what have clearly been months on the road. And yet his eyes shine with happiness, his smile is wider and more unrestrained than Yao Shen has ever seen before.

He takes off the conical straw hat he's wearing before entering an inn by the side of the road. 

"Young hero!" a waiter greets him with a smile, wiping his hands on a dirty apron. "Pick a seat and I'll be right with you."

The restaurant is mostly empty, beside the Crown Prince there's only a single other patron, quietly sipping tea by a window.

The Crown Prince takes a seat in the opposite corner of the floor and waits for the waiter to come for him.

Instead, the other patron, clad all in black and wearing a black veil hat that covers his entire face gets up from his seat and sits down in front of him on the low table.

"Your highness," the man says, tilting his head to the side, but never removing his hat.

The Crown Prince is immediately alarmed but tries to hide it. "You must be mistaken. I'm just a simple wandering cultivator, trying to improve my skills by studying the techniques of all the retired masters willing to teach me."

It's clearly a spiel he's used to bringing out whenever he's questioned about his past, but the man in black doesn't buy it.

"You have set in motion a course of events that will lead to your death."

"Excuse me?" The Crown Prince laughs nervously, his eyes shifting sideways in search of the waiter.

Yao Shen doesn't think the man in black is trying to play a prank on him.

"You'll have to make a choice, one there's no going back from."