Chapter 143 - My Costar Finds His Way Back To Me

Yao Shen's conscience returns in stages. He's first aware of the thick scent of incense, and then of silk slipping across his body.

When he opens his eyes, Xin Hulei is staring at him from across a silk-upholstered divan. His eyes filled with warmth.

"It's you," he says, running his finger over Yao Shen's cheek.

Yao Shen sucks on a breath and holds his palm to his cheek, nuzzling it. "It's so good to hear your voice again, you have no idea."

Xin Hulei smiles sadly. "I feel like I've been underwater for a long time."

"You've been asleep, for months now," Yao Shen says, his chest constricting painfully.. "Gao Wu got hold of  you and Jincan and Heimao somehow."

Xin Hulei's sharp brows knit minutely before smoothing out. "Yes, I remember, I got home and didn't find Heimao or Jincan anywhere, just the place ransacked. Not long after I got a text from an anonymous number telling me to go to a specific address." The dent between his eyebrows deepens again. "It's all murky after that."

Yao Shen fills in the blanks for him, telling him about what happened when he and Tan Liansi got to the temple.

Xin Hulei listens to everything in silence, and only lets out a bitter sigh. "All of this is my fault."

Yao Shen turns his face towards his hand and kisses the inside of his palm. "Mine too, then."

Xin Hulei lets out an amused chuckle. "Not really, it wasn't your fault when you were the Crown Prince, and it certainly isn't your fault now."

He shrugs. "It's too heavy a burden for you to carry on your own." He scoots closer across the short distance between them and drops a soft kiss on Xin Hulei's lips. "Let me help you."

Xin Hulei doesn't say anything and just throws one arm across Yao Shen's waist, pulling him closer against the small distance.

They stay like that for a moment, just breathing each other in. Yao Shen is so relieved to have him back, even inside a dream, that he can't stop smiling.

It takes him some time to become fully aware of just where they are.

The cloying incense and the abundance of silk should have been enough for him to recognise the Fragrant Peony, but he's so wrapped up in Xin Hulei that it takes him a moment.

When he takes in his surroundings fully the corners of his lips turn downward. "Why here?"

Xin Hulei supports himself on his elbow, looking around at the room almost cursorily. "I often dream of this place. Maybe it's because this was the last place I was before everything was ruined. Perhaps it's because my memories are so jumbled afterwards."

He shrugs. "I guess I keep trying to make sense of it."

Yao Shen forces himself to nod. Relieved at Xin Hulei's explanation, and reminding himself that being jealous of himself is not only pointless but extremely idiotic.

Moreover, he can understand where Xin Hulei is coming from. Getting answers is like lancing a festering wound, at first painful and then healing.

He stretches out his legs and sits up on the divan with a groan. Even though he's in a dream he feels as if he's the one who's been asleep for ages.

"Let's go," he says, extending his hand to towards Xin Hulei. "It's time you wake up."

Xin Hulei takes his hand and gets up from the divan as well. They're both wearing flimsy silk robes, Yao Shen's red, and Xin Hulei's black with gold brocade.

If they weren't in a dream Yao Shen would never want to be caught dead in something like this, but as it stands he fastens his robes tighter around his waist and gets ready to find a way out.

---

It becomes obvious early on that while the room they were in before might have been located in the Fragrant Peony, the 'space' they're in now is entirely of Xin Hulei's construction.

As soon as Yao Shen opens the door out of the heavily perfumed room, he's hit in the face with a gust of freezing wind.

Barefoot and wearing only a thin robe, Yao Shen is bitterly unprepared for the cold. Xin Hulei wraps one arm around his shoulders and pulls him against his chest, sharing some of his body heat with him.

"Why is it so cold in your dream?" Yao Shen asks, struggling to walk through the snow when he can no longer feel his feet.

"I think this is a memory," Xin Hulei says casting his eyes around the expansive white.

He doesn't elaborate, but a few paces ahead they see a small, flickering light. Yao Shen starts walking towards it. Eventually, they happen upon a small child kneeling on the snow.

Yao Shen kneels next to the child, placing a gentle hand on his small back.

It's only then that he notices the red seal between the child's eyebrows, the short obsidian horns sprouting form his forehead and his red eyes, made even more vivid by the thick film of tears coating them.

His eyes snap up towards Xin Hulei, the adult Xin Hulei. "Is this you?"

Xin Hulei looks down at the small boy for a long moment before nodding.

Yao Shen rubs the child's back once again, but the younger Xin Hulei has no reaction. He's cradling his hands to his chest, and cupping a small flame. Probably to keep himself warm among the snowstorm.

"Is everything alright?" Yao Shen asks.

"I don't think he can hear you," Xin Hulei says, his eyes still fixed on the small child.

Both of them watch unable to do anything as the small Xin Hulei shivers in place.

Then, a thin, high voice cuts through the howling of the wind. "Leilei, where are you?"

The small Xin Hulei gets up with a start waving his flaming palms above his head. "I'm here gege, I'm here."

Moments later another small figure wearing red robes appears through the white of the snowstorm. Xie Huan rushes to Xin Hulei and hugs him against his chest. They're almost of a height, but Xie Huan looks older somehow.

"We've been looking for you for hours, why did you leave the city walls?"

The small Xin Hulei clings to Xie Huan's sleeve. "Leilei wanted to find mommy," Xin Hulei says, his voice unbearably young and sweet.

Yao Shen looks up at the older Xin Hulei with a question in his eyes.

Xin Hulei keeps looking on as Xie Huan throws a thick fur cape around Xin Hulei and bundles him up. "Come on, you know it's dangerous outside Modu. Let's go back."

The two boys leave, walking steadily through the thick snow.

Xin Hulei watches them go, and only after some times gives Yao Shen his answer. "I used to do that, when I was younger. My mother, like several other people, was always looking for ways to strengthen Modu's wards. That meant leaving the city itself and scouring the wastes." 

He waves at the field of white around them. "But the wastes can be dangerous, even without the restless spirit fragments. One day, she didn't return." 

Yao Shen wraps one arm around Xin Hulei's waist, and leans his head against his chest. It's hard to wrap his mind around everything he has lost. Yao Shen wishes there was something he could do about it.

Xin Hulei's hand cups the back of his head, his slender fingers carding through his hair. Yao Shen feels the warm puff of his breath when he exhales. "Let's go back."

Yao Shen doesn't know how. He feels like they've been walking through the snow for hours, but he wraps his other arm around Xin Hulei's neck and pulls him down into a kiss. He's willing to withstand the freezing winds and walk through the snow barefoot for as long as it takes for Xin Hulei to find his way back to him.

---

Yao Shen wakes up with a gasp and a chill seeping into his bones. He sits up in bed, and looks at his side. 

Xin Hulei is still sleeping. 

Yao Shen's heart drops, it didn't work.

But then Xin Hulei's eyes flutter open and two brilliant crimson eyes peek up at him from under the fan of his long lashes.

"Good morning," he says, his voice rough with disuse.

Yao Shen's nose starts itching and he's afraid he'll start crying. He throws himself over Xin Hulei on the bed, and covers every sliver of skin he can reach with kisses.

The sound of a bedroom door banging open startles the two of them.

Tan Liansi walks into the room, her eyes wide with incredulity. The bags under her eyes look even darker and puffier than Yao Shen remembers from last night.

"You're both awake." She says, her hands trembling with relief. "I was so scared I had fucked you up too."

It's clear she means Yao Shen, but he doesn't understand in what context. "How so, I was fine yesterday and I'm fine today?"

Tan Liansi grimaces. "Yesterday? You've been asleep for a week."