Chapter 107：Suffering

The conversation is attended by three people in Xiao Ping's room. Xiao Ping insists Yu Jin to be by her side. It is actually painful to Takeshi. More over while he explains everything, Xiao Ping not once glances at him. She stares straight to the ceiling, brushes Takeshi's touch away and even asks Yu Jin to hold her hand.

Suppressing all of his emotion, Takeshi tells her everything. About his debt to the company to cover Goro's debt. The agreement he signed for the debt. The selling problem of the dorama. Also the company's idea to make gossip between him and Miyu.

"Did the company also tell you to kiss her ?" Xiao Ping asks in Chinese, coldly. She then asks Yu Jim to translate. Takeshi gasps to hear the question. "I.. It was.. I was drunk," he admits. He sees a tear drops from the corners of Xiao Ping's eyes. "Shiawase, forgive me.." he really wants to wipe those tears.

Xiao Ping forces a smile. "That's not a problem. The problem is you didn't tell me," she says indifferently. "Love is trust, you said it. You don't trust me on this …," Xiao Ping bites her lower lip to prevent her cry, waiting for Yu Jin to finish his translation. "Perhaps .. perhaps .. I don't deserve your love," she continues. Yu Jin is stunned by the aching he feels in his left chest. But he then recalls himself and weakly translates it.

"No, Shiawase.. you're wrong!" Takeshi denies, grabbing Xiao Ping's face to make her looks at his eyes, "I love you."

Xiao Ping smiles bitterly. She then turns to Yu Jin. "I've heard his reason. Please take him out," she asks weakly. She is tired. Deadly tired.

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After forcefully dragged by Yu Jin to come out of the room, Takeshi is struggling to release himself from Yu Jin's hold. He then hits the wall with his fist, so hard that leaves some cracks and stains. Defying the pain caused by the hit, Takeshi still stands straight facing the wall, a total reddened face, short of breath, and tight clenched fists, one of them is bleeding.

As Yu Jin finally walks out to leave him alone, Takeshi breaks down. With both lower arms on the wall and forehead on top of them, he cries his heart out.

It took him the whole five minutes before he is able to manage his emotion again. Actually, a thought that crossed his mind was the reason he is calming down. In hurry, he draws his cellular and dials a number.

"Hiroshi.. I'm going to reveal our relationship to the media," he immediately says once he connected to his assistant.

"Don't do anything stupid!" Hiroshi rebukes him.

"I have to do it!"

"Don't, Takeshi !"

"I have no other choice !!"

"I don't wanna lose her !!"

"I SAID NO !!" Hiroshi shouts with the top of his lung. Shocked due to the shout, Takeshi breaks down again. This time he squats down against the wall, one hand holding the phone while the other hugging his knees. He is sobbing hard.. almost wailing.

"Please, Hiroshi.. please.. I can't afford to lose her.. please," he is begging. whining like a child.

"Listen to me! You must stop doing extreme act! We were in a lot of troubles mainly because of your impulsive acts! You did things without thinking the consequences!"

"I don't care.."

"Stop saying that!! Stop saying you don't care while it is actually you don't think! Think a little! What will be the consequence of telling to the world about her ?! Huh ?! You will ruin your future, your life. You might be in debt for the rest of your life.. or worse.. you can be in jail because of it! Then it will not just your life to be ruined, but your mom's too!! Now tell me, is it worth it?"

Hearing about his mom, makes Takeshi's brain starts working again. He stops sobbing. He snorts and chocked by his tears and snot.

"Now pull yourself together and hold yourself for not doing anything stupid," Hiroshi speaks again with calmer voice.

"But, Hiroshi.."

"Not now. Hopefully." Takeshi in silent knowing Hiroshi is about to say.something important. Hiroshi sighs.

"I have rechecked that contract ever since I knew about her. I found a loophole. A very tiny one. I'm not sure how much it may reduce the consequences. I need to consult it to some lawyers and legals first. I need to make sure to get the consequences as minimum as possible. So you.. while I'm working on it, you better bare your suffering and do nothing stupid. Promise me ?"

"Yes," Takeshi weakly agrees.

"Good. And pray hard.. we will need a miracle."

With a murmured thank you, the call is ended. Takeshi drowns his head in between his thigh in desperation.

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After extinguishes the fire on his cigarette against the trash can and throws the butt inside, Yu Jin comes back inside the hospital building. He meets A Lin who seems just arrived. "Hi," she greets while matching their steps. "How's Xiao Ping ?" she asks again. "She's asleep now," Yu Jin answers. He turns to the coffee machine. A Lin follows him.

"How are you ?" A Lin asks, postponing Yu Jin's movement to insert money on the machine. "As you can see, I'm fine," he answers then continues his move. "You know what I meant," A Lin rebukes. Yu Jin doesn't respond. He pushes a button to choose a hot Americano.

"I really don't understand you," A Lin says sounded like complaining. "I never asked you to understand me," Yu Jin replies half-jokingly.

"You sacrifice like this.. what's for ? This is your chance, why do you waste it ? Why do you even trying hard to unite them again ? Why do you love to suffer so much ?" A Lin asks repeatedly.

"Stupid. Of course I hate suffering," Yu Jin denies then turns to A Lin, "But I hate more to see her suffer." A Lin opens her mouth about to say something, but Yu Jin adds,

"Don't get me wrong. It is for my own sake. Because seeing her suffering like this my heart is way more painful than when I saw her happy with her boyfriend."

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Xiao Ping is awaken from her sleep when the door of her room is opened. A nurse comes in from her room. maybe her neighbor calls.

The nurse leaves the door open while handling the patient. Xiao Ping can see clearly outside. Takeshi is sitting on the bench staring at the floor. His messy hair covers his bowing head. Even from her bed Xiao Ping can see the weariness from all of his body. For a split second, she feels pity on him. But.. this is all Takeshi's fault. He should told her from the start. She would be understand, She is sure about it.

Like aware of being watched, Takeshi raises his head and their eyes are met. Takeshi quickly stands while Xiao Ping turns her head away. But it takes him only a couple of seconds to stand next to her bed. Xiao Ping closes her eyes. Though she knows it is impossible to make him believe she is sleeping, she just did it. She can feel the air is changing when he hangs his hand merely an inch above hers. She anticipates the touch, ready to brush it aside. But the touch never comes.