Chapter 186：Progress

"こんにちわ (Kon'nichiwa - Good Day), Waseda-san, Hasegawa-san" a young man with slender body greets both Aiko and Takeshi. Both who were having light-talk, turn their heads to him. "Ah.. こんにちわ, Kohei-san," Aiko greets him back happily while Takeshi raises a smile to him. Tetsuya Kohei is the head project from the EO company they hire. Tetsuya walks into the room carrying a large suitcase on one hand and a pile of books on the other hand.. "I'm bringing you picture of gowns from several best designers in Japan. Maybe you can have inspiration for your own from them," he says politely as handing a book to Aiko from several books on his hand, "These are by Katsura Yumi."

Aiko excitedly receives the book and opens it with sparkles in her eyes. Murmur of amazement is skipped from her mouth several times when she looks at the collection. Takeshi smiles to see how happy she is. It has been two months since their engagement was announced. Just like Takeshi predicted, Mr. Waseda could reserve the temple for the last weekend of March after he convinced a couple to change their venues, compensated by a significant amount of money. After that, Aiko has been very excited to prepare the wedding. It affects a lot to her physical appearance. Her face becomes glowing. Her body seems stronger and healthier. The effects of her chemotherapy almost don't bother her. In the eyes of a novice, they may think that the cancer is defeated. Takeshi and Mr. Waseda also thought the same. Unfortunately, her medical record is saying differently. Her cancer is not getting worse, but not better neither. It is there, slowly but steadily grows and spreads inside her body.

"Honey, what do you think of this dress?" Aiko's question pulls him back from his own thought. Takeshi looks at a picture that is pointed by Aiko. "It's beautiful," he responds with a nod. "It is, isn't it ?" Aiko says it cheerfully. The dress is really beautiful and elegant. Xiao Ping will be stunning in it, Takeshi says it inwardly. Then he frowns to realize what his mind just said. Aiko.., he corrects himself, Aiko will be stunning in it.

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Xiao Ping halts herself to walk into Yu Jin's room when she hears shouts and yells from inside.

"Leave me alone!! Just leave me alone!! It's all useless!! Useless!! Out!! Everybody out!!"

She quickly steps aside when the door knob is twisted from inside. Two nurses come out of the room. Xiao Ping bows a little to them. They bow back then leave the room quickly.

From the slightly opened door, she can see Mrs. Bai tries to calm Yu Jin down but she is being ignored by Yu Jin. That guy lays on the bed, turning his head to the side against where his mother stands. He swipes away her hand that touches his shoulder, then hides his head under the blanket. Mrs. Bai sighs then finally gives up. She slowly leaves the bed and approaches the door.

"Aunty..," Xiao Ping calls Mrs. Bai once she is out of the room. Mrs. Bai stares at her and gives her a smile. Her face really looks tired.

"It's been a rough day for him," she says in gentle after closing the door behind her.

"What's happened ?" Xiao Ping asks. Mrs. Bai shakes her head.

"Nothing big. He is just a little down to know he doesn't reach the progress he wanted to," Mrs. Bai explains to Xiao Ping.

"But.. the progress can't be predicted.."

"I also told him that. He is eager to be able to walk within six months. So he planned and made milestones for his progress. It really only stressed him out eventually."

Xiao Ping just nods to agree. Mrs. Bai sighs. "He is angry to himself because he still can't feel anything on his right leg and he can't raise his left thigh longer than a second," Mrs. Bai continues.

"Can I see him ?" Xiao Ping makes a request. "Sure. Maybe you can calm him down. But don't take his act by heart," Mrs. Bai gives her a green light. Xiao Ping says thank you then slowly opens the door.

"Just go." The moment Xiao Ping enters the room, Yu Jin immediately casts her out. He's not even move his head to see her.

Xiao Ping just smiles. Instead of leaving, she moves closer to his bed.

"Can't you just leave ?" Yu Jin tries to dispel her again.

"What if I refused ?" she challenges him.

"Don't I have the right to be alone here ?"

"No, you don"t."

Yu Jin sighs. With so much struggle he turns his body backing on her. He is now sleeping on the side of his body, on the edge of the bed.

At first, Xiao Ping only stares at him. After a while, she takes off her shoes. Slowly, she goes on the bed and lies beside him. She then embraces him from behind. Yu Jin rejects her at the beginning, but Xiao Ping shows him how stubborn she can be. So finally Yu Jin lets her embrace him. She is now spooning him, her head on his shoulder. She breathes slow, exhales it to his ear. Unconsciously, Yu Jin follows her breathing rythm.

"Don't be too hard on yourself," Xiao Ping whispers to his ear.

"I have to. Six months is the best chance to walk normally again."

"The progress can't be predicted, you know."

"The progress is gradually. It won't happen over night. So I need to make targets and milestones.."

"Sssh..."

"I need to be able to walk as soon as possible. I don't want to be this vunerable for the rest of my life. You don't deserve a disable man.."

"Is that your reason ?"

"Yes."

Xiao Ping feels a sting in her eyes. She tightens her embrace toward Yu Jin. "I love you."

"If I can't walk..," Yu Jin gulps. "If I never be able to walk again.."

"I'm willingly to push your wheelchair wherever you may go.."

"No! You have to leave me. Promise me. You will leave me when I fail to walk again."

"That's stupid.."

"I'm useless to you. I will only be a broken doll." Yu Jin suddenly sobs.

"Babe.."

"I can't even erect.." he then closes his face with his both hands. Xiao Ping strokes his chest gently.

"There are other ways to express love," she whispers. Yu Jin shakes his head.

"You deserve a better man. Man that able to fullfill your need."

"My need is not sex. My need is you to be strong and positive. Can you do that ?"

Yu Jin doesn't answer as he is still overwhelmed by his emotion.

"Bai Yu Jin, can you be strong and positive for me ?" Xiao Ping repeats her question.

"I would even die for you."

"No. I don't want you to die for me. I want you to be strong and positive. For me. Can you ?"

Yu Jin blows his snot. "I will."

"Promise me ?"

Yu Jin nods. "It's a promise."

Xiao Ping smiles then kisses his ear. "I love you." Yu Jin turns his head around. "I love you, too," he whispers to her and kisses her lips.

"What ?" Xiao Ping asks in confused.

"Kiss me again," he asks. Xiao Ping obeys him without protest. She kisses his still opened lips, slightly inserts her tongue. But then, Yu Jin lets it go again with small laughter skips from his lips.

"What is it ?" Xiao Ping's question is not being answered by Yu Jin as he still laughs with teary eyes. "What is it ? Why are you laughing ?" she urges him to answer.

Yu Jin's laughter is subsided. He takes her hand and places it on top of his diaper. The diaper is usually thick but not as bulgy as now. Xiao Ping widens her eyes to understand it. "Is it .."

Yu Jin is nodding several times with chuckles. Xiao Ping kisses him again then laughs joyfully.