Chapter 193：The Sweetest Lie

Takeshi is sitting on the couch of Aiko's room at the hospital. Beside him is Mr. Waseda. Both men are sitting in similar way, elbows on top of knees supporting hands that covers noses, eyes looking at Aiko who is sleeping, but minds are having their own thoughts. They've been doing it for more than twenty minutes.

Mr. Waseda is the first one who sighs and moves. He pats Takeshi's shoulder to comfort him. "I'm sure she only had cold feet and panic attack," Mr. Waseda says to him. "Her dream is to marry you. There is no way she's backing out," he continues. "You do still want to marry her, don't you ?"

Takeshi nods. "I won't back out my decision."

"Good. Once she wakes up, we can talk nicely to her and set out another date of your we.."

"I don't want to marry him," suddenly Aiko's weak voice cuts her father's words.

"My dear.. you got to be kidding," Mr. Waseda says at the same time with Takeshi's surprised words, "You're awake!"

"Father.. I need to speak with Takeshi in private, please," Aiko says to her father as a request for him to leave. Mr. Waseda fulfills it without any objection. Takeshi stands up awkwardly. Once Mr. Waseda closes the door, Aiko smiles softly to Takeshi.

"Would you sit next to me here ?" she asks. Takeshi comes close to her and sits on the edge of the bed. Aiko hugs him tight as Takeshi hugs her back.

"Thank you," she whispers.

"For what ?"

"For pretending to love me all this time"

Takeshi loses his words. "What.. what did you mean ?" He finally able to ask only after few seconds of dumbfounded.

Aiko rubs his chest and smiles. "When I went to your apartment, I found your small notebook. I was so curious what was its content, so I read it. One thing that attracted me was a page about your promises to your ex."

Aiko then lays her head to Takeshi's shoulder before she continues, "At first I didn't notice anything weird. But then I went to your website and found out that you often asked your fans' supports so you can keep on facing your days with smile. It is one of your promises to her, right ?" She speaks with a very calm tone as if she is telling him a story she read in a book. Takeshi can only nods vaguely to confirm it.

"Despite knowing that you still keep your promise to your ex, I really didn't know the reason. I also didn't know why you approached me and became my boyfriend. I just thought that maybe I am just your love trains."

"I was happy. I didn't care whether you really love me or you making me love trains. To have you as my boyfriend was a dream come true. Even more when you asked me to marry you," Aiko continues with a smile that loses her eyes.

"I thought.. you were really in love with me back then. You really are a great actor, you know.. or maybe, I'm just naive.."

"I didn't act to you.."

"Come on.. you only wanted marry me because of your deal with my father, didn't you ?"

"No, I wasn't .."

"I knew it all, Honey.. I knew you made a deal with my father to have a relationship with me as an exchange for your career support," Aiko cuts him. There is no slice of anger or hurt in her tone. Aiko even embraces Takeshi tighter, making herself more comfortable in his arms. Once again, Takeshi is dumbfounded.

"The new medicine they've given me makes me sleep restlessly. I've been easily awaken by a small distraction when I sleep. But since I was so weak, I usually couldn't open my eyes right away. In that state, I overheard many things.."

"One time, I heard my father cried on the phone. He thanked you for willing to marry me. He said he promised he would guarantee your success and your wealthiness. It was few days after you asked me to marry you. I was so hurt that time, knowing you wanted to marry me over money. I was so disgust of you, I wanted to cancel our engangement. But then, I had a second thought. Whatever your reason was.. I had my dream come true, to marry you. To have you as my husband. So what if you only marry me over money ? I love you, and I believed that with time you would love me, too. But I was so angry and confused to receive your care and attention. How could you act so good ? You were so patient dealing with my angers. You accompanied me and bearing with my emotions through out my chemo sessions. You even postponed a lot of your works. That's what most confused me. If you were eager to reach success, why would you decide to postpone it just to accompany me ?"

"That's because.. I've never after for success," Takeshi finally able to speak. "You are right, but you are also wrong. I .. I did made a deal with your father, but it's not like you thought."

"So.. what is it ?"

Takeshi exhales heavily. "My mom had a heart failure. She needed a new heart and I couldn't afford it. Your father offered his help. He didn't want me to repay him the money. He just wanted me to make you happy. And the only way to make you happy is to be with you."

Aiko raises her head so she can see Takeshi's face. His face is red with eyes holding back tears. "So.. I broke up with my girlfriend and be with you to save my mother. Your father insisted to help my career as a bonus. It had never been in the agreement."

"So.. my father did forced you to marry me?"

Takeshi shakes his head slowly then smiles at her. "He has never forced me. His requirement was just for me to make sure that you are happy. He never told me to officially date you, even less marry you. I did it on my own decision."

"But why ?"

"To make you happy.."

Aiko nods. "Because I'm dying, right.. ?"

Takeshi bulges his eyes. "What ? You know.. ? How..."

Aiko places her head on his shoulder again. "I overheard your conversation with Doctor Tanaka. It was after I fainted at our pre-wedding photoshoot. I only got four months left at that time, he said."

Takeshi skips a sob. "No.. you will be fine.."

"Don't lie to me, Hon.. I know my time will come soon," Aiko once again raises her head to meet his eyes. "That is why I don't want to marry you."

"But.."

"Before I knew I was dying, I was so selfish. I knew you didn't love me.. you still don't love me, do you ? I knew it, but still I wanted to have you. I saw you typing message to your ex, pretending to be Hiroshi and told her that you will keep facing your day with a smile no matter what. It broke my heart tremendously. We were so closed for being married. I thought that somehow you started to love me. But, instead you still kept your promise to her. But I still kept being selfish. As long as I have you, that will be fine."

"..."

"But after I knew about my condition, I started to think differently. While I still wanted to be with you for the rest of my life, I also considered your future."

"Then marry me.. we still have few months together.."

Aiko shakes her head. Tears are falling on her face. "I can't be selfish. Al though you don't love me, but you are so kind to me. Al though you lied to me, but it is the sweetest lie. I can't torture you any longer.."

"Aiko, I am willing to marry you.."

"Do you know what kind of marriage you will get through ? You will only being my nurse. I can't serve you as your wive, not in kitchen or on bed. My health will be dropping low any time soon, you will be busy taking care of me and your life will be miserable."

"I don't mind.."

"I do. I mind a lot seeing you sacrificing your future for me." Aiko rubs his cheek softly. "You've done enough, my love. Al though you never loved me, you have made me felt being loved. And I can't thank you enough for that. For these last nine months, you have give me happiness that I could not even imagine. You gave me reason to live, to fight the cancer. But now, I'm sinking. And I don't want you to sink with me."

"Aiko-chan.."

Aiko wipes her tears that continues to fall. "I want you to leave me. Never see me again."

"Aiko-chan.. I am willing to accompany you.."

"No.. i don't want you to. I want you to leave me, only having beautiful memories about me. I don't want you to suffer with me. That will ruin your memories of me. Don't you get it ?"

Takeshi nods few times. His face is ugly having tears and snots all over.

"Don't worry. I will make sure you still have support for your career."

"I don't need that."

"I know. But I want you to have that. I will tell my father that you have done your part perfectly. That I am very happy because of you. So, he surely will keep his promise to you."

Takeshi kisses her. "I'm.. I'm sorry.. I wish.. I can love you," he says with chokes and sobs. Aiko shakes her head gently. "That's okay, love," she says gently then kisses him. "I love you. Remember that." She seals it with another kiss.