Chapter 262: Emergency?! Yes, No, Maybe?

Name:Classless Ascension Author:
Alexa's face turned white as the strident alarm resounded.

Screens appeared on the walls, showing the exterior. But, there was an orange fog outside, making the visibility very bad. 

"Dammit, intruders!" She grunted. 

"How bad is it? What about the people we have on patrol?" Josh asked, confused. Were they all slacking at once?!

Alexa fiddled with her UW, trying to get more information.

"Allies are all down, and the air is filled with an extremely potent sleeping gas! Such a quantity and concentration are nothing to scoff at, especially in such an open area. This attack isn't simple!" She exclaimed. 

"I see…" Josh nodded calmly. 

"There are about 100 enemies. Possibly more could be outside, laying in ambush. They are slowly making their way over here, combing the entire forest carefully. The allies' vitals are still looking fine, so I believe our enemies are looking for something or someone." 

"Only 100? It's not that bad." Josh commented. Also, how the fuck could she see allied vitals?

"But it's too much for the two of us. We are stuck here with the few weapons I have in this tent. Normally it would work great, but they probably have Jammers seeing the intensity of this operation." 

"Are tents even supposed to have weapons?" Josh asked, puzzled. 

"We can't even ask for help since the communications are blocked. I could bypass it, but it would take time and instantly reveal our position. I doubt it would be any help. As for the allies in the Tower, they'll fall asleep as soon as they exit." 

"There are worst fates." 

"So we are stuck here with no allies, too many enemies, lacking resources, and unable to ask for any reinforcements!" Alexa summarized. 

"I see…"

"How are you not freaking out?!" 

"Whoever is attacking can't go all in. If they use weapons of mass destruction, they'll make an enemy out of all Metropolises. As for the sleeping gas, it's the only option with the number of MTA soldiers we have. All of them dying would mean war." Josh explained. 

"This doesn't change the situation one bit! Wait, Josh….bad news! I think you're their target. Yes, they're coming to murder or abduct you!" She gloomily said. 

"What makes you believe so?" Josh asked. 

"This!" 

Alexa moved the camera around until they could faintly discern a man with a gas mask holding a saber in one hand and a picture of Josh in the other while sneaking around. From time to time, he would turn sleeping people over to check their faces. 

"Maybe they're just trying to get autographs? They probably realized how valuable each is since it's part of the Super VIP package!" Josh nodded wisely. 

"…." *Press X* 

"Any hint of who they are? Seeing as they are sneaking even now, do you think they could be from the League of Assassins? It wouldn't make much sense, however…." Josh said, perplexed. 

"Oh god! Logically they shouldn't care that much, but they probably want to turn you into a symbol: an example of what happens to the ones that defy them. How about you try heading in the Tower to hide?" Alexa proposed.

"That's unnecessary." Josh casually remarked. 

"Never mind, they have people in front of it now! Soon they'll start searching the buildings!" Alexa warned. 

"Real talk, do you think they have bounties on their head?" Josh asked with shiny eyes. 

"What's the use of knowing that?! Do you even have a plan to get us out of here?! Wait… you've been extremely relaxed this whole time!" 

"Of course! Let's have a little fun, shall we?" Josh was smiling as he went to press a button on his UW. That is when the many speakers hidden all over the place began blasting heavy metal. 

It was a song titled: 

Ȉ̴̗̬̀͋́̍̉̚ṯ̵̻̼̻̠̞͍̏̂̌͘'̸̭͍͙̌͒̎͜s̷͕͚͉̫̣̹̯͈̼͎̍̃̿̽̈́̒̕̕ ̶̦́̏̾̍͑̀͜t̷̡̧̧̗͉͉͕̱̤̿͌̓ĭ̸̧̢͍͔̮̞̽͌͆͆m̸̻̟̤̑́̅͂̑̈́͊͐͗̚e̴̦̤̅͂́̍̾͐͌̾ ̵̙̤̥̩̋̆͑̌̾͝t̷̢͉̙̻͂̌̓̀̍̊̍̌͂ͅo̴̢͓̟̦͇̗̰̜͋̄̔̍͋͒̄͛̓̍͜ͅ ̴͔̬̳͍̣͉̇̅͌̔͘f̶̢͖̰̟̍́̾̆̂͘̚͠ǘ̶̫̄̉͗̆͋̚̚̕c̶̬̹̜͕̗̔͘͝ķ̷̡͎̩̙͇̗͋̿͋i̵̤͕̠̖̪̽̊̿̌̓̈́̔̾̓n̵̻̥̭̪̼̦̹̤̲̓̈̂̓͝͠g̷̛̺̼͉͖̫̣͍̖̹͛̋͝ ̸̨͔͈̾̌͗̾̑̀̕̚͠͝d̴̢̛̛̗̳̿̄̀̾̀̑͠î̸̧̩̣͈̙͉̰̠͓̖̔e̸̻̗̰̩̦̎͂!̷̰͐͒͋̍͋̋̾̐̉͝ͅ

How fitting it was! The volume was so loud that it made everyone's eardrums violently tremble. The assassins (?) took fighting stances as they prepared themselves for whatever was to come. Sadly, this decision was a relatively poor one.

????

????

????

????

This was the sound of home! Death metal and soul attacks made by grumpy slothtrosities. The enemies fell to the ground and remained motionless. After about a minute, Josh finally stopped the music. 

"What do you think, Alexa? Pretty handy, am I right?" Josh glowed with pride. Except, she also was out of commission with her body sprawled on the floor. "Right….be right back!" 

The rest was easy. Josh happily went around signing autographs with a huge scimitar! (totally not stolen). He couldn't help but chuckle to himself as he pictured the face of the coroner that would autopsy them. 

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

It would go something like this: 

"Sir, we've found the cause of death!" (Coroner) 

"What is it, doctor?!" (Criminal Investigator) 

"Josh Motherfucking Malum, Sir! Literally! The J was already very life-threatening, at the first M the victim was doomed, and the Malum has been written postmortem!" (Coroner)

"How horrible! Who would do such a thing?!" (Criminal Investigator) 

Then they would look at each other and realize the truth: any member of Josh's Fanclub could have done it, bringing the potential number of suspects over billions. The investigation would have to stop due to a lack of funding to interrogate them all. 

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Josh kept a few alive, woke them up, and interrogated them. It followed the usual pattern: 

"You can cut me, boil me, torture me, but I won't talk no matter what!" The captive would heroically…mumble— the best they could do after the sloth attack. 

Then, Josh would use lots of killing intent, and they'd beg to be forgiven while spilling everything. Josh had a bounty on his head that could be claimed dead or alive. (Slight bonus for bringing him alive to their HQ) 

1. Since he had been deemed a public enemy by the League, it would increase the assassin rank of whoever participated in the mission based on their contributions. (This allowed access to better bounties in terms of effort versus rewards.) 

2. Because he had such close ties with the MTA, anyone killing him would become infamous. This meant possibly receiving personal contracts, with clients paying extra to have the killer of their choice do the job. 

3. There was a progressive reward on his head. At the moment, it was a meager 10k Credits, but the more assassins he fended off and the higher this sum would go up.

Josh went back to Alexa, woke her up, and summarized the situation. With the assassins gone, she called for a few trusted men to help heal the students. 

They were now discussing the events in detail:

"These wannabe assassins were pretty dumb. Didn't they know about the sloths? How were they even going to separate the rewards between 100 people anyway?!" Josh remarked 

"We can both agree on that, but I don't think this is as simple as it looks. Just the poison used costs more than the reward from that silly bounty." She pointed out worriedly. 

"Someone in the background is probably pulling the strings to test the waters. Now, the question is: what was their goal? Is it to discover more info about the Alter Tower, myself, or possibly Dimensional Legion?" Josh could only sigh. 

"Not sure, but it's not my business. Good luck figuring it out! Hopefully, my camping won't be disturbed anymore." She teased him. 

"Alright, Tech Majesty! I shall arrange for you to remain undisturbed while you are camping!" Josh faked a reverence. 

"Thanks, but seriously be careful. It's only a matter of time until someone competent shows up, then it will be too late. You're a Fallen, right? I suggest you try and accumulate lifespan while you can. Things could become ugly." She seriously advised. 

"Alright, I understand. Thanks for the suggestion, later!" Josh could only agree. 

He didn't like this feeling of not knowing his enemy. He had always been the one scheming against others. Back on Earth, he had remained in the shadows for his revenge. In this world, he had just come out into the light. 

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Josh went inside the Alter Tower resolutely. 

"Hey, AT, bad news!" 

[?] 

"I'll have to leave for now. There are some pests after me."

[Make sure to crush them thoroughly!] 

"Hehe, of course. But, I'll need a new identity. I was thinking of a human-looking cosmetic mask. How many challenges do you think it will take?" 

[About that, I think I can use your current status to accomplish the same effect.]

"?" 

[Right now, you're the keeper of the Training Tower. I should be able to give a cosmetic ability to the medallion I gave you. It can be justified using the need to remain anonymous for the job.] 

"There's such a loophole? What if I need to shoot laser with my eyes to accomplish my duties?" 

[You wish! Anyway, here, inspect the medallion again! ^_^V] 

<AT Keeper of the Infinite Tower> 

- Allow its wearer to navigate freely in the Alter Tower

- Allows its wearer to assume a random human appearance 

- Only usable by Josh MF Malum 

"Wow! Did you create a new item rank called AT?!" 

[Yep! Every item in the series is unique. Only the best for my brother!] 

"I'll treasure it. You can be sure of it!" 

[Of course!] 

"I also have something for you. Take this! Hopefully, it can serve as inspiration!" Josh dropped a small manuscript to the ground. 

[Wait…Floor ideas?! Oh, there are some nice ones in there. Not to brag, but if I manage to execute 10% of them, my Tower will become the most challenging ever. I can already hear the screams of despair!] 

"So, do you like it?"

[!!!!YES!!!!]

"I've slotted a few letters in there too. If you could relay the messages to the people concerned via announcement, it would be great."

[Will do! You can go without any worry!] 

"Alright, take care, brother. We will see each other once I've dealt with my problems."

[Later! o/] 

That day, Josh Malum disappeared…