Chapter 285: Do You Even— ZOOOM

Name:Classless Ascension Author:
In the canyon, there was a sea of cockroaches. Amidst these critters, there was now one gigantic creature that stood out. 

It was shiny black, stood on its hind legs, was the size of a few dozen enemies put together and it was intently staring at the tiny human that had rudely intruded upon its domain. How did it dare disregard it! 

<Big Papa Roach Lv 36☠️>

What was up with this name?! This sounded way too friendly! For an instant, there was an intense staredown between the two. For some weird reason, all the critters scurried away hurriedly. 

But it all changed as Josh could feel the killing intent oozing from the Boss. It moved one of its powerful-looking hind legs backward. What was it trying to— oh crap! Josh ran toward the side as fast as he could as the creature zoomed his way. 

— ZOOOM!! — 

This thing had charged with a speed rivaling its momentum. Wouldn't it collide headfirst into the cliff this way? Josh would be able to exploit this moment of vulnerability to counterattack. But, just as he was getting ready the creature crashed into the cliff. 

— CRASH!! —

The impact made the entire cliffside tremble. Josh couldn't believe his eyes. He could almost picture a wail— coming from the rocks! 

— CRUMBLE — 

Rock debris and powder flew everywhere in the surroundings. 

The tight hole that he had occupied earlier was nowhere to be seen. It was now completely gaping, split open by the thick black monster. Josh couldn't help but gulp, this thing was so damn powerful! 

For a second he was extremely impressed, but then he burst out laughing. It seemed like he had just found a solution to his roach infestation problem. Josh began taunting the creature. 

"Oh? Is digging all you can do, big guy? Then again, I guess there are worse skills to have. How about you work for me? Don't worry, if you do a good job I'll feed you." Josh happily disparaged it. 

Could the creature understand him? While it was doubtful at best that it could understand the words, it was different for the tone. It felt how much Josh was looking down on it as if the Boss was nothing more than any regular cockroach. 

This enraged it to no end as it opened its mouth in fury, showing razor-sharp teeth. 

— SHRIEK!! — 

"Yeah, no. You really should stick to digging. Singing really isn't your thing." Josh relaxedly commented— or so it seemed. He was in fact, carefully observing the creature while making his way over to the critters. 

The Boss stood still for a second, not doing anything. Yet, Josh sprinted out of the way, apparently randomly. 

— ZOOOM!! — 

The Boss passed right next to him: it had charged again! There hadn't been a wind-up animation at all! Such an incredibly sneaky attack pattern! Thanks to his sharp senses, he had avoided sure death.

Sadly, the same couldn't be said about the cockroaches. They had been flattened to pancakes or had completely disappeared! How would Papa Roach react as it saw how many baby roaches it had flattened? The answer was…

— ZOOOM!! — 

Papa Roach didn't give a single fuck! It had charged again, not bothering about all the casualties. Sad to say, but this one Boss was so much faster at killing monsters than Josh could be. The creature was far from done too!

Thus began ZOOOM-Ageddon, or so it must have felt to the poor sacrificed creatures. Value of their lives? Zero! 

Their supposed leader kept trying to kill Josh the best it could. Meanwhile, he kept acting like a live commentator to piss it off further. 

— ZOOOM!! — 

"Killing spree! Look at it go, such a majestic charging form!"

— ZOOOM!! — 

"Rampage! Look at the state of the cockroaches it trampled! What cockroaches you might ask? That's right, they're gone! 

— ZOOOM!! — 

"Unstoppable! Will it ever be stopped? Find out after the commercial break! Brought to you by Rise of the Peerless Pumpkinmancer!" 

— ZOOOM!! — 

"Dominating! Wow, so efficient! We have plans to be launching our own brand of cockroach flour soon! It's a great source of protein and iron!" 

— ZOOOM!! — 

— CRASH!! —

"Godlike! Oh my god! Such a great multitasker: trampling AND digging at the same time! Get your own dwelling with Big Papa Roach construction!" 

— ZOOOM!! — 

— CRASH!! —

"Legendary! We are simply unbeatable! We can also take care of any demolition, please contact us for an estimate!" 

Apparently, the boss didn't seem amused in the least as Josh kept having a ton of fun. Sadly for it, there was nothing it could do. It just happened that the man countered it since its deadliest aspect was how unpredictably it would begin its charges. 

At some point, Josh realized that the critters were all gone. To be fair, it was bound to happen since they kept dying from friendly (?) fire. They had probably gone into hiding, pondering over the meaning of their miserable existence. 

There was only one thing that remained to do. This time, it was Josh's turn to charge at the creature. It seemed shocked for a second, the slippery human was coming its way? Seriously?! 

Josh could feel the confidence oozing out of the creature. Its body was incredibly sturdy and it was perfectly aware of it.

Once he was in range, he ran toward the creature's back. A second later, he had to fall back with urgency. The creature had tried impaling him using its limbs with barbed tips. How was he supposed to deal with this? 

Luckily, it lacked overall mobility except for that one predictable charge. Josh began hovering around it until it finally lost its cool and charged once more! This time, he wouldn't let the occasion slip. 

He switched his morphing weapon for a scimitar, worried the spear would get lodged inside the creature and break as it ran. Then, as the creature passed by, he slashed it as heavily as he could.

— CLANG!! — 

It didn't even leave a mark on the creature! It was now watching him as if jeering, shrieking. Was it trying to get revenge for all the taunts? 

— SHRIEK!! —

— Stares!!— 

— Shrieks harder!! —

— Stares harder!! —

But, josh hadn't said his last word yet! He made it so the same situation as earlier happened, the creature once more tried its luck as it charged with wild abandon. 

Except that this time, Josh used his Mana Coating ability. He felt his blade penetrate the armor and bite the flesh. Success!

From this moment onward, the taunting shrieks became shrieks of suffering. A little later they once more changed as they became shrieks of despair. 

All the while, Josh's evil laughter resounded in the now-empty canyon…