Chapter 334: Worst Kidnapper Ever!

Name:Classless Ascension Author:
It took exactly 13 minutes and 13 seconds before the black sky returned to normal.

The weird part was that no matter how many investigations were done, there was no new information.

Everyone knew where it had happened, but they still had no clue what the purpose of it had been. Plus, getting a witness to talk proved to be impossible for some reason.

The event was finally ruled harmless, and the MTA insisted people forget about it.  But, many still considered it an omen of destruction. 

Of course, the news didn't stop at Metropolis-C. Metropolis-D and E began to discuss it, too, even trying to come up with possible measures if something similar happened on their territory. 

Then it quickly became a worldwide sensation: 

"News Flash! Day turned to night in Metropolis-C!" 

"Signs of the apocalypse? Stay tuned for a complete analysis!" 

"Today, we have an expert on astronomical phenomenons to discuss the topic."

"Rumors that the commotion is related to the Fallen event hosted by Gemini. Are they to blame for this?" 

That was all people talked about, everywhere. But then, very soon, many began noticing with horror that an extra line had popped on their status screen. 

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- S+ Doomed World Curse 

A chaos seed has been planted in the world. How long before it blossom into a world-ending calamity? The Prime Corrupting Evil will be watching eagerly. 

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Chaos broke out. Everyone was panicking, dreading the future. This was another freaking sword of Damocles hanging above everyone's head! As if that Greenwood Lord curse wasn't enough! 

How would they react if they learned that Josh was at the origin of both? What if they learned that he had eaten the so-called seed of chaos? They'd lose their shit for sure! 

Many meetings were organized, with the various guilds bickering endlessly and the MTA trying to reassure everyone. The whole world searched for answers. 

The few that actually knew what was going on couldn't speak of it and felt like they were going insane. Why had they signed that damn magical contract?! Who knew what Josh and that mysterious man were up to now? 

The whole world was buzzing, fucking constantly, going crazy. People were losing their hair over this new upcoming calamity. 

But that's when came a piece of unexpected new information. It came from plenty of anonymous letters delivered directly to the MTAs and guilds in the CDE region. It was a concise message: 

We took care of the Chaos Seed, 

—Dimensional Legion

That was all, no detail, no proof, completely baseless. Yet, many believed it.

Why? Because Dimensional Legion was shrouded in so much mystery that they really could have done it.

After all, it wasn't too hard to add an extra line to the list of unbelievable stuff the guild had "accomplished". Sure, in reality, they had done jack shit, but on the Internet, it was a legendary guild!

Eventually, the topic would be buried given the lack of new information, but it would likely last a few weeks. It didn't stop the world from getting excited about it all... 

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As for the one responsible, he was happily driving toward Metropolis-E, without a care in the world. There awaited his last target! 

He felt delighted. Perhaps it was because of the clear sky or the refreshing wind brushing against his face— No, he was actually pleased with insulting a god. 

The whole thing was nothing but a big coincidence stemming from a single misunderstanding. 

1. People thinking he wants to fight the LoA. 

2. Some people from the LoA attacking his school. 

3. Him joining the LoA test to gather information about his enemies. 

4. Participating in the Fallen event.

5. Dissing a god to its face (or its projection) 

Life sure was peculiar at times. 

As Josh began wandering in Metropolis-E (disguised as an assassin), he couldn't help but notice how many crazies were out on the street protesting. They had plenty of signs like: 

<Please stop angering gods already!>

<Investigate Metropolis-C, it's totally their fault!>

<Tell us the truth about the Prime Corrupting Evil!>

<I've run out of fucks, we're all gonna die anyway.>

<Why do we even pay taxes if the MTAs are so useless?!>

<The world is going to shit. Legalize the Ph38-F drug already!>

Josh gave the no fucks given guy a thumb up in passing, even stopping to inquire where he could find the tortoise guild before skipping to his destination. 

As he saw the guild's plain-looking headquarter, he couldn't help but sigh in disappointment while shaking his head. That's when a man approached him from behind. 

"Is there something wrong, young man?" It was a friendly-looking old guy with a head full of white hair yet a face void of wrinkles: his target! 

"It's just a letdown. In Metropolis-C, Draconic's building is a cool dragon, Devouring Panda has a panda…you get it. Where's the Tortoise!" Josh explained. 

"I guess …I am? I've been here for so long that I may as well be an old tortoise at this point." The old man chuckled lightly. 

Josh couldn't help but nod appreciatingly. "You're Unkillable Harry, am I right?" He asked excitedly. 

"Yes, do you have some business with me?" He asked amicably. 

"Yep! A kidnapping." Josh answered jovially. 

The old man froze for a second before giving a small laugh: "It seems my hearing isn't as good as it used to be. Could you repeat that?"

"Kidnapping." Josh didn't show any shame. 

"Did you say kidnapping?"

"Kidnapping." Josh nodded happily. 

"Eh, why would you even want to kidnap me?" He asked, puzzled, giving him an incredibly dubious look. 

"Wait, didn't you receive that one Assassin's promise? Normally it's one target per, and you gotta kill the victim, but mine is a bit special. I can either kill or temporarily kidnap, you see." Josh patiently explained. 

"You're with the LoA?!" 

"Not really. I guess it's like a part-time job as a subcontractor?"

"There is no way that's a thing!" The man protested baffled. 

"Naw, I'm telling you it's possible! Anyway, just count it as a vacation or something." 

"So you just want me to follow you and fake being kidnapped?" The man asked, completely puzzled.

"Exactly! I'll get my commission!" Josh happily nodded. 

"Why would I do so?" 

"Because I'm asking you nicely?" 

"It wouldn't be a kidnapping if I follow you..." He reminded. 

"Meh, who cares." Josh shrugged. 

"What if I resist?"

"Then I'll kidnap you for real. You're my last target out of the four anyway." 

"Four?!" 

"Oh yeah, Gemini, Adamantine Dumbasses, that Twice-Knife guy….and you." 

Only a madman would follow a wannabe kidnapper, right? But then the man remembered the three others who had already fallen prey to this man. He had done his research, and he was probably the weakest of them all!

Should he involve his guild or the authorities? Probably not! The man finally agreed to follow Josh along all the way toward Metropolis-D, finding the poor Jackson who had been restrained and stuck in a freezer all this time. 

As Josh removed his gag, the man began insulting him crazily: 

"You fucker, I'm going to destroy you I'll—"

"Ah, I was going to let you go but never mind, I guess." Josh deplored. 

"Wait.,..what?!" His victim stared in confusion. 

"I mean, I'm doing all this for…kind of a dare, I guess? That's the easiest way I can explain it." Josh shrugged before continuing.

"I can't let you go if you're so hell-bent on revenge. We all know how that will go: you'll get your guild to help, I'll slaughter it all, the MTA will be too busy with the Tower and the black sky to care— GG but a pain!"

They had no clue what the fuck he was babbling about, even talking about tropes and whatnot, but they gulped as they felt how confident he was.  Seriously who was that guy, and what was he actually scheming?! 

"Then again, I can let you live if you sign a magical contract. Ah, you'll have to remain hidden for a little while too." Josh offered. 

"Alright, I'll do it! You won't have any trouble with me, I swear!" He promised. 

"Aight, here." Josh handed the man who was tied up a magical contract. He had a bit of trouble signing it with his mouth, but he did manage. 

"So, what exactly do you have planned?" The old man from Tortoise asked, perplexed. 

"Easy, we're going to be shooting a video. Let's begin!" Josh happily got to work. All he needed was proof that they had been as his mercy to succeed the test. 

He began to fake-torture them on camera and talked way too much nonsense! Without realizing it, he had still been understandably hyper from fighting a god and said lots of BS. 

The two men didn't know how to react. This guy was mad, completely ballistic! All his plans sounded like they were the ramblings of a lunatic! He talked about destroying guilds, crushing Hellish floors, driving gods away, and even changing the entire Tower system.

This was perhaps the weirdest episode in their lives. Their captor wasn't even wearing a mask (or so they thought) as he showed them his blond hair in all its magnificence. He really just wanted them to act and nothing else! 

Then they were done, unsure about the true meaning of all this. They left still confused, but eager to go back to their respective lives...Well, after a few days of hiding.  That's how they soon ran away, remembering to stay far away from that guy in the future. 

As for Josh, he was heading toward the LoA challenge location ….

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[A/N] You all ready? It's fucking mass release time! ☠ 5/8 !! ????

Creator's Thought

Was it wise to suddenly start faking my results? I mean technically it was more of a loophole. It didn't say anywhere that I couldn't just ask my "victims" to follow me nicely. That grandpa just gave me a good feeling, must have been the smile.