Chapter 156: Josh: Fastest Man Alive!—Not Always ;)

Name:Classless Ascension Author:
Josh could be seen lazily walking to the Tower. As usual, he could hear whispers of discussions. For once, people weren't talking about D.L. 

"Man, Cutest Magical Ladies will be coming to town soon! Can you believe it? They will have a dance battle with some people from Eclipse!" 

"That's so awesome! I really need to buy tickets right now." 

"Yes, it's either buy them now or despair later. It's in times like these that I'm so jealous of the Rankers. They get reserved places as long as they ask."

Cute Magical Ladies? So, sexy magical girls? Flat -> 3D! That's how Josh imagined them in any case. Now was clearly the perfect time to ask these fans about the event!…or just head into the Tower. He did the latter. 

He soon appeared on Floor 17. As usual, the system was there to welcome him. 

[Mission: Summon The Prime Nightmare!] 

"Alright! Nightmare, I choose you!" He even faked throwing a white and red ball as he did the summon. (It was useless) 

His pet appeared in all its glory. It instantly started to gallop around happily. It remained in Josh's sight, but that was about it. 

[Mission completed!] 

[Feat Accomplished: Fastest Clear Time: 8 seconds!] 

[Error! Error! Error!]

[Verifying Integrity.] 

[Exception Detected ID: Josh-Motherfucking-Malum] 

[Clear Reward Issued!] 

Wow, just wow! This was so ridiculous, but it was true that the Prime Nightmare had been summoned somewhat. Still, normally Boss and Pet Boss would be classified way differently.

This was clearly a bug!

There appeared a single glowing dark light. <Fragment of Nightmare Cloak 1/25>.

Oh! He needed 25 to get an item?! How troublesome would this normally be to get for a party! Was that 125 Clears as a party of 5 or just the basic 25? Either way, that was a lot of work. 

Josh did the only natural thing to do upon finding a bug: Exploit the Heck out of it! That is how played a very peculiar scene on the Tower Plaza and in the Tower itself. 

"Teleport out!"

"Floor 17!"

[Mission completed!] 

[Feat Accomplished: Fastest Clear Time: 2 seconds!] 

"Teleport out!" 

"Floor 17!" 

Etc… 

Before long, Josh had completely gotten all the fragments he required. One had to know that normally summoning the Boss would be rewarded with either straight-up death or a long and arduous fight. The reward was at the height of the difficulty. 

<Nightmare Cloak> 

Gives an otherworldly feeling to the wearer. Style +44 (Not a real Stat). 

Adds the Daily Skill: Shadow Merging. Makes one harder to kill for a short duration (Based on Lv). 

Hell yeah! This thing was amazing! It allowed one to have a shadowy appearance! Oh, and the limited invincibility was a nice add-on too. Of course, it would obviously have a limit, but for the current Josh, it was perfect! 

Well, there was one slight issue. He couldn't wear this item with the White Spider set. The saving grace was that he had a few Equipment Holders to make the switching process easier. 

That is how Josh did a round on Nightmare's back. They looked like a duo straight out of a Halloween movie. You know, the ghost rider kind. Josh even tried to cackle madly in different intonations. That is how the poor horse had to suffer his master's antics. 

"Hahahaha!"

"Muhahaha!"

"Huehuehue!" 

Unbeknown to him, a small commotion was happening outside. 

"The best one is clearly Pink Magic! I mean, C'mon!"

"Naw, Ocean Magic is superior on all degrees! You agree, right Frank?"

Except their friend had been spacing out completely. His companions couldn't help but be surprised. He would usually join the Waifu War. Was he sick? They waved their hands in front of his face a few times until he finally came back to his senses. 

"Are you okay, man?" One asked with concern. Frank even looked a bit pale. That is when he finally replied while shaking. 

"Guys, look there!" They turned just in time to see Josh exit the Tower and come back in. 

"What's up? A guy is soloing. They are rare but not inexistent." 

"Just watch!" He showed so much enthusiast, they couldn't believe it. 

But then they saw it too. A few seconds after entering the Tower, the man was already out. Then he went in again. Even now, he kept going! It's only after about 20 times that he finally stopped appearing. 

To leave a Floor, one needed to complete the mission. How was it possible to complete a mission in a few seconds?! They kept racking their brains, but they found themselves at a loss. 

Perhaps Floor 1? The enemies there were the easiest to kill. But even then, that was impossible, even for the strongest of Rankers. 

Perhaps Floor 3? A steal mission would allow one to just run toward the finish line. No, just the travel time would be too much. 

The only option really was a Duel Floor. These had the objective in the same room as the Player. But! This, too, didn't make sense! A few seconds to kill the enemy was possible once by using one's trump cards. But repeatedly?! Bullshit!

They vowed that they weren't going home before he left the Tower. They would politely ask him for enlightenment. In the worst case, they would wait extremely long, and he wouldn't even pay them attention. 

Well, they were prepared for that. Such was the life of an idol fan. Support, cheer, and stand in place like a dumbass, hoping to be seen. Many would have looked down on them for that, but one shouldn't underestimate their tenacity! 

Inside, Josh was still riding his horse but eventually got tired and decided to exit. 

He was surprised for a second as outside there was an ambush! That was the group that had been talking about the idol concert, right? Their eyes were shining so brightly as they gazed at him. 

"Can I help you guys?" Josh tentatively asked. 

"First, don't worry. Your secret is safe with us. Second, how did you do that?!" Somehow, only they had really paid attention to his presence. But, if they stayed near the entrance, they would definitely get weird looks. 

"Alright, follow me." Josh brought them to a nearby park. Well, a park was a big word. It was mostly grass, a few trees, and benches. He plopped down on one, listening to them. 

"We are just impressed! We don't have any bad intentions at all. Ah, how should we prove it? Do you want us to sign magical contracts?" One of them proposed. 

In his mind, Josh had already named them Idol Fan A to E. He couldn't feel any malice from them, just pure curiosity. 

"I won't tell you precisely" They looked dejected. "But I can give you guys a hint." They instantly cheered up as they listened intently. 

"The Tower assign missions considering how the Climbers will act in general. What you want to do is think outside the box. You want to try something that no Climber has done before. Then if you are lucky, there is an exploit you can use for a little bit before it gets patched." Josh explained. 

"What?!" They all looked at each other in consternation. 

People considered the Tower a world with clear rules. Some feared it, others looked forward to the challenge, but most were trying to increase their own power and didn't think about it much. 

But for him?! He had a slight smile as he suggested this. He talked about playing the Tower itself! There would be a time before the Tower adapted? How many times had he done this?! 

That is when one seemed to gather his courage before asking: "Could I perhaps have an autograph?" 

Josh couldn't help but look surprised. "I'm not some celebrity, you know? Far from it. I'm just a normal dude." 

That's when they all chuckled except that one guy showing an embarrassed expression. But then one said: "Frank over here has an amazing flair for people who will accomplish great things. We financed our Climb with the Credits gained from investing following his lead."

"It was just luck, guys!" He humbly admitted. 

"On that note. Do you have a business on the side or anything like that? We aren't wealthy, but we'll definitely pitch in!" 

Josh had met people like that in the past. Some knew how to read Fate, even back on Earth. Oh, not divination but more instinct. Honestly, he wouldn't have called it mystical either. 

Chances were, this gift was the ability to unconsciously collect and analyze information. Most of the population would miss many signals, but they would perceive them loud and clear. 

These people were great at finding talent with promising futures. Josh was the opposite. His specialty was finding people with bleak fates that would overturn everything to attain their goals. 

For instance, Dale with becoming powerful, the monk with getting rid of his curses, and the analyst in his quest for knowledge. 

Josh began seriously considering recruiting this guy in front of him. Humble, possible flair for talent, most probably cheap to recruit, and an admiration toward him for some reason.

Meanwhile, they were awaiting his answer. The ambiance was started to become awkward with Josh just glaring at him. Yet, he wasn't avoiding his scrutiny. He was still holding a pen and paper expectantly. 

The others weren't sure what was happening and were getting confused. Usually, people accepted or refused quickly. What was with the stand-off?! 

"What do you do for a living? Climb?" Josh inquired. 

"Yes! I'm currently on Floor 30." 

"How many times did you clear Hellish?" 

"Never. I'm just a normal Climber." They all choked at once. Who talked about clearing Hellish that casually?! 

"I still have a recruiter position opened for a guild I'm thinking of starting. Interested? Your salary shall be an autograph." Josh playfully added. 

"What?! A single autograph as salary?! This is madness!" all the friends exclaimed.

"Alright, I accept. When do I start?" Frank excitedly asked to the dismay of the others. 

"What?! You can't be serious!" They were all losing their mind. 

"Alright, here's your autograph." Josh quickly signed the simple paper for him. 

When Frank received it, his hands started shaking. His breathing became increasingly faster, same for his heartbeat. Then an incredibly huge smile blossomed on his face. He could read: 

-???????????????????????????????????? ???????? ????????????????????, ???????????????????????????? ???????? ???????????????????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????- ????'

That's when Josh spoke once more. 

"For your first task, I'll send you to scour the farms to search for potential talent. Remember, I want the incredible ones only. Also, loyalty and personality are both extremely important. Is that fine with you?"

"This is the perfect job for me, Boss! I won't disappoint you!" The others were completely flabbergasted on the side. What was written on that paper to make him like that?! But they wouldn't pry. 

Frank couldn't believe his luck. Honestly, he understood it. If Josh really was who he thought he was, then hiring him had definitely been on a whim. He had to prove himself!

Now he was going to <Very Happy Farms> for sure. How crazy amazing! He couldn't wait …

Creator's Thought

All in all, this was extremely productive. I farmed the Hell out of Floor 17 and got a recruiter. Later on, so many would try to convince me to fire him. After all, he was totally unqualified. His only real experience came from studying Idols for fun. How does one even judge qualification anyway?