Chapter 225: Strongest Anti-Sloth Move!

Name:Classless Ascension Author:
Home sweet home! Josh couldn't help smile as they finally reached D-23: this was a new beginning.

He was right on schedule: Transmigrating —> Adapting + Climbing —> Mana Manipulating —> New HQ —> World Domination (eventually). 

They landed at the very edge of the forest with the crew members afraid to wake the sloths up. The few guards currently on-site were sighing in relief. From now on, watching the area would be Josh's problem. 

"Alright, follow closely and don't touch anything," Josh ordered them. They all nodded solemnly as if their life depended on it, which it kind of did. 

They made for a strange procession. Anywhere else, 300 Climbers would have been very confident. As long as it wasn't a war, they'd be fine, right? 

In this place, they had no assurance whatsoever. They followed Josh as if small ducklings trailing behind their mother. 

After walking for a little while, they finally reached the area near the Alter Tower. There was now a 'Great Wall of China'-looking metallic construction all around it! Would it resist the sharp claws of the sloths? Definitely not, but it was a start. 

It was about 10 meters high and 5 meters wide, but that wouldn't really restrain a Climber from jumping above it. Plus, there was one peculiar thing: it had holes! There were alcoves over its whole length! 

Josh's companions did double-takes in confusion as they observed this scene. Was this wall modeled after swiss cheese?! But, a few seemed to realize what it was as they shook violently. Every hole was a potential sloth bed!

"This is it. Welcome to the Village Hidden in the Sloths!" Josh grandly declared, proud of this epic nickname.

But, the people only turned ashen as they began nervously looking all around for the deadly creatures. With all the excitement, they had almost forgotten about this huge problem! 

"No need to look so far. This rock under you guys' feet is a sleeping sloth, and it's very neatly buried in the soil." Kasha 'graciously' informed them. They jumped away in silent fright, and their faces looked hilarious! 

Not waiting, Josh headed for the only gate there was: a one-sided ramp that made exiting way easier than entering. Well, not that climbing 5 meters was any challenge. It was all about lowering the appeal for the wandering sloths. 

"I-is everything going to be fine?" Someone asked worriedly. 

"Why not? Why fight when we can coexist instead? I'm a pacifist at heart." As Josh said that, many shook their heads in denial. Him, a pacifist? No way! 

Inside, they quickly found Bob that was working alongside a team of ten workers. That's when the people finally sighed in relief. These guys were still alive, so it had to be somewhat safe, right? 

"Hey, man! It's looking great so far!" Josh greeted him amicably. 

Seeing Josh, Bob jumped in fright, yelped, and even stepped backward while shouting: "I'm really too busy to Climb! Please just let me do my job!" His workers surrounded him apparently to show support as they sent disapproving looks his way. 

Josh was taken aback. "What are you going on about? I joked about that once…." Why was he getting so worked up? 

"What?!" Bob went from scared to suspicious and finally relieved. How could a man live so many emotions so fast? That's when he seemed to come to a realization. 

He brought his UW screen forward and showed Josh. He had been receiving a specific message every 5 minutes that read: 

-Josh MF Malum: "Wanna Climb again?!"

"What the heck? What kind of bug is this?!" He was taken aback by that. 

"If you tap long enough on a message, you can set a timer to resend over and over the selection. I thought you knew and…." But Bob was interrupted by a sonorous yawn. 

????????????????!

The 300 people around Josh instantly fell to their knees. What kind of timing was this? They had just arrived! But it wasn't over just yet. 

????????????????!

????????????????!

????????????????!

????????????????!

That is when five sloths could be seen lazily climbing at the entrance, broke in, and headed toward the group. The humans showed complete acceptance of their fate. They would sleep forever, how nice!

But the sloths took their sweet time. Many regained their senses partially but were still not able to move. They evidently felt desperate, regretful, and angry. They hadn't come here to face such a tragic end!

But that's when Josh bravely stepped forward and went to meet the creatures head-on. It was fine, for he would save them all! He unleashed the strongest technique known to mankind right at them ~ Serious consecutive headpats! 

"Are you guys hungry by any chance? I'm sure I can get you some tasty treat." Josh was talking to them as if old friends. What kind of madness was this?!

Many had thought that the sloth train had only been possible thanks to particular conditions. But, it seemed that they were wrong! Josh couldn't be more casual than this! 

People even forgot to get up as the magical effect went away. What happened next felt like a dream. Josh made two piles of items: one with food and the other with rocks and whatever trash he could find.

He then had them stand at attention in the non-food pile as he kept feeding the sloths from the food pile. All over the duration, Josh also kept ordering them around for some reason.

He randomly pointed at them and told them to do backflips, sing, dance, and even had Kasha spoon-feed him! Why was he toying with them?! 

That's when Emsee murmured the answer while chuckling. "He's making them understand that we're his subordinates."

Some random questioned: "Is there really a need for that?" 

Dale couldn't help but snort: "This is so obvious: it is to protect us. On the one hand, they can leave us alone, rest peacefully and receive delicious food. On the other hand, they can eat us and get hunted down by Josh Motherfucking Malum. The choice isn't hard." 

Another random asked perplexed. "But aren't these creatures pretty much invincible?"

Kasha erupted laughing: "How about I kick your dick 24/7? Don't worry. You won't die: it will just be a tiny bit annoying." 

"Then again, who's more invincible between the sloths and Josh? I'm seriously wondering." Minor sighed. 

That's when Josh came back, having spent some good quality time with his new friends. It turned out that these creatures were pretty smart. The only problem was that winning their respect was close to impossible for a non-sloth. 

In their eyes, most humans were nothing but scurrying rats: noisy, annoying, and containing a bit of meat. Josh just gave them a different feeling. 

He smiled as he addressed the crowd. 

"Alright, welcome all of you to the official Dimensional Legion Climber school. Let's settle something first: sign this. Ah, don't worry, it's all elementary stuff." 

Josh handed them all a magical contract: 

- NDA 

- The school is not responsible for any death. 

- All students are required to help with chores. 

- The students are required to help should the school face destruction. 

- Etc…

How was any of that basic?! It was more like drafting them to be part of a reserve army. What kind of trick was this? A good 2/3 of the people here were in the MTA or the Black Legion! Was he trying to poach from the regional army?! 

Surprisingly, Roderick was the first to sign away. In his eyes, this was worth it. As much as this was binding them to Josh, it was also binding Josh to them. His eyes glowed as he had great hopes for the future. 

In a silent disaster zone, the Dimensional Legion came into being. The only ones witnessing such an event were a group of sloths and a team of builders. 

All of them could feel that this moment, which seemed far too simple, would change their lives forever. Perhaps it would impact the world itself? No, believing that would have been a bit too arrogant of them. 

That is when Josh solemnly gave them their first task: "Heed my call! All of you join forces and….finish the construction! Well, if you want to have a roof tonight, that is. Follow Bob's directives while I'm gone." 

Alexa couldn't help but speak up. "Where are you going?" 

"To set up a few things. You'll know soon enough." Josh winked as he walked toward the Alter Tower, disappearing inside. 

They all looked at each other confused. Set things up? In the Tower?! But for now, they would focus on this new task. They couldn't help but twitch seeing the five sloths that were just napping right in their base. 

They'd behave…right?!…

Creator's Thought

While we were silently establishing the school, the world was losing its shit. That assassin bullshit really rendered them crazy. Well, that and the various articles coming out about D.L. I think the funniest part about it is how after a little time this place would become: THE Village Hidden in the Sloths!