Volume 4 the monologue of Qingjing Zehui

As a result, even if I went to this school, there was no change.

No, maybe I'm not going to change from the beginning.

Good or bad, I am the same as before.

The reason is very simple.

Because I know myself well. I know all the advantages and disadvantages.

I also know that boys and girls don't like me.

I know everything clearly, but I'm not going to change.

But it doesn't matter.

Because I don't feel that pain anymore.

It's because I'm looking forward to it.

I walked out of the shower set up in the guest room, even the water drops on my wet skin, so I stood naked in front of the mirror. How many times have I thought about breaking a mirror?

Every time I see an old injury to my flank, the horrible past will show its head.

I felt dizzy and nauseous, so I held up the washstand and vomited.

Why do I have to go through that?

Why do I have to suffer like this?

Why, why, why - I keep repeating that.

Repeat this meaningless sentence.

The past cannot be changed.

No one can change.

The gods are cruel.

My personality was destroyed after that nightmare, and I lost my youth, my friends and myself.

I have to correct that mistake.

No matter how annoying it is, it's better than encountering the same situation again.

I don't need any youth.

I don't need any friends.

It's important to protect yourself.

For this reason, I will do everything necessary.

I'm a parasite, a weak creature that can't live on its own.