19 Memories That Time Doesn't Heal

Name:Clouded Heart Author:Asuke
WARNING: This story contains violence and non-consensual elements.  Please read with caution.

Chapter Nine

The mood was ruined thanks to Raven and Aloys' rude bitch of a sister.

Kyou sighed and crossed his arms across his chest. He carefully leaned against the desk behind him.

Aloys hadn't moved from his spot beside the door and the frown on his brow deepened.

"Are you friends with that priest?" Kyou heard him ask.

He let out a short and humorless laugh at the question.

"Friends? Hardly. He's just someone I grew up with."

Aloys grew quiet again. Kyou had a question of his own.

"What was he doing here anyway? He came with your sister, right?"

Aloys nodded and put his hands on his hips. There was a tense silence.

"He's my sister's new pet," he finally said with disgust in his voice. " How she managed to get him under her thumb is still a mystery to me, but you should warn him that he needs to stay the hell away from her."

Kyou's annoyance seemed to grow.

"I'm not telling him shit," he argued and straightened.

Aloys glanced at Kyousuke. "She's going to be the one to kill him," he added, like that might change the human's mind.

Kyou snorted. "Like I care. He made his bed and I say, let him lie in it."

With that, he moved to leave the study.

As he brushed by Aloys he felt his wrist grabbed.

"Where are you going?" Aloys asked him.

Kyou rolled his eyes.

"Well, your highness, I'm going to go to bed and sleep before my shift later," he replied.

Aloys caught his teasing tone and pulled him back. He pinned Kyousuke against the wall in a kabedon.

He rubbed their right cheeks together sweet and soft and brushed some hair intimately behind Kyousuke's ear.

"Oh really?"

Kyou shivered as the vampire's soft touch tickled his skin and he blushed.

"Really really."

Kyousuke's voice was just above a whisper but it still cracked a little. His heart was skipping in his chest as Aloys moved his large hands and his mouth lower on his neck.

Light kisses turned into mild sucking and Kyou let out a small noise in his throat. It seemed to provoke Aloys. He opened his mouth wider and grazed his teeth over Kyousuke's warm skin.

Kyou shuddered in his lover's arms and let out another whimper. He put his hands on Aloys' waist to hold him there.

As if that broke a spell, the vampire stopped and pulled away.

Kyou knew he probably looked like a mess but that didn't stop him from trying to glare at the vampire.

Aloys smirked and shook his head with amusement.

"Didn't you say you needed to get some sleep, love?"

Kyou narrowed his eyes. Damn it, he was such a pain!

He snorted and straightened himself. He moved as if to leave but suddenly was in Aloys' space. He planted a kiss and dragged the vampire's bottom lip through his teeth as he pulled away.

Aloys stood there, seemingly dazed, as Kyou scurried to his own room and shut the door. His fingertips were over his mouth and he had a deep blush on his face.

He could still feel Aloys' touch all over him and it could be due to an overactive imagination, but his lips still held a slight coolness to them.

He shook his head and went over to his bed. After he changed into some warmer clothes he laid down on his side and closed his eyes, intent on falling asleep. A smirk was still on his face as sleep overtook him, Aloys' shocked face in front of his closed eyes.

****

Aloys POV

All Aloys could do was stand there stupidly as the cheeky human left the study. The charming blush on his face was almost enough to make Aloys follow him and make him red in other places…

He touched his slightly stinging bottom lip curiously. Aloys had noticed the change in Kyousuke's usually stand-offish personality; he was more relaxed and expressing himself in a way that Aloys didn't know how to handle anymore then when he was distant and crude.

He remembered with some shame the way he had provoked and acted towards Kyousuke when the human had first arrived in his home. Aloys was feeling a lot of new and old emotions stirring in his heart and coming to the surface.  His hand went to his chest and clenched the fabric over his breathless chest.

There was a sadness he couldn't specifically name but the more he felt himself be pulled in by Kyousuke, the more the feeling grew and he knew that as much fear it brought him, it also gave him happiness. That scared him even more because it meant he was changing-something he was told would never happen in his afterlife.

There was dull throbbing in his chest he knew was only an illusion but his hands began to shake, his vision began to swim. Suddenly, the memory of Keiko kneeling over him with a gentle smile, shielding his eyes from the sunlight that trickled out from the leaves of trees was in front him.

The smell of the grass he had been laying on and the heat of the summer air that day almost felt real. The dazzling smile that was usually dim in his distant memories was very clear and his dark eyes crinkled with passion and a strength that Aloys had never really seen when he had been alive.

There was a strange sound that broke through his vision. Aloys realized after a moment it was coming from himself. A horrible choked noise was escaping through his throat and his chest was heaving for breaths that he didn't need.

He grasped at his face, his eyes blurred by tears that had already established a steady path down his cheeks and under his chin. Aloys tried to stumble to the desk chair to sit but his knees gave out and he collapsed against a shelf of books rather ungracefully.  He wanted- no needed- to see Keiko's face again. It had been so, so long since he had seen it and it had never been so clear, even in the past.

The ugly sobs continued and he curled into himself as best he could. He tried to grasp the image that was already gone but Kyousuke's soft, sleeping features came to his mind instead.

Another harsh sob tore from his chest at the thought. Without his consent he realized, and in such a short amount of time, he had already given his heart to that reckless little human.

How that happened, he couldn't say, but he guilt he felt was heavy and hideous on his heart. He didn't know whether he should be happy or mad with himself.

Keiko was Aloys' soul mate, his one and only for so long. He had never tried to care about anyone before, but since their first meeting he had inserted himself into Kyousuke's life like he had a right, like it was natural as breathing.

He had racked his brain for a cause, for a reason as to why he cared so much, why Kyousuke was different than the others Aloys had been with before, but he had no reason other than Kyousuke stoked his possessive spirit.

The fact he looked like Keiko was enough reason at first, but when Aloys got to the point where it was his desire to conquer Kyousuke for himself, not his face, things had started to change between them.

For the first time in hundreds of years Aloys had apologized and been sincere, had wanted to hide his ugly side, had felt genuine anger for someone other than himself.

And somehow the possessiveness he felt had changed from domination and control to one of protection and safety. Of course these were just the feelings and words in his heart, and ones he could never dare to speak out loud. The fear of rejection was on his mind, and the possibility that this could all be a ruse to play on his feelings. Regardless, it seemed he had lost the game, his competitors spirit had changed from being the obtainee into being the obtained.

Aloys also knew that Kyousuke didn't love him, saw him as a protector and an ally as things he wasn't aware of were unfolding quickly.

He thought back to the night Kyousuke and him first met. He had called Lyall and asked what he should do.

"Keep him in your sights, Aloys," Lyall had instructed. "Something seems to be off. It can't be a coincidence that you and I met him on the same day. He might be up to something, so it's best to keep an eye on him. If it turns out I am wrong, then he is either a pawn unknowingly or just an innocent in the wrong place at the wrong time. It'll be up to you what to do with him afterwards."

Aloys was still unsure what Kyousuke's role was in all this, and he knew rationally that Kyousuke could very well be an enemy, but his judgment was clouded by the feelings the human had made surface within him.

He was frustrated and confused to the point where he didn't know what to do.

He grabbed his hair and pulled on it to ground himself. Never had he felt so vulnerable as he felt the night everything was ripped from his grasp, but what he was feeling in the current moment was a close second.

Even when Kyousuke had laid mostly dead and bloody in his arms, even as he begged that bastard Ryker to help him save the foolish human, Aloys had never felt this kind of despair.

All he had thought about at that time was what had happened so many years ago was happening again but this time he was able to do something about it.

Kyousuke's change in attitude toward him after that day was noticeable, even to him. It made him wonder what sort of life Kyousuke had lived before that had made him so jaded and untrusting.

Aloys wasn't one to talk. His desire for closure after Keiko's death was like a flickering ember in his soul, one he thought would never be attainable.

After 500 years he knew that the guilt, the pain and sadness he had buried deep inside himself was starting to surface and the reason was he was afraid of letting himself feel happy. The mistakes he made were unforgivable; he didn't deserve happiness.

He was the reason he was in this mess, the reason his own sister couldn't grow old and live in the sun, have children and die surrounded by the ones she loved. He was the reason for his parents dying knowing that their children were demons and living out the rest of their lives filled with hardship, sorrow and death. The hate he felt for himself was what kept him going for so long. He deserved to suffer for his actions, but not the people he had cared for and loved.

Aloy smelt his own blood dripping down his chin. He had bitten through his bottom lip in an effort to quiet himself.

He tried to take a deep breath, it shuddered through his whole body but the familiar action did help somewhat.

He had stopped crying, but the pain didn't leave Aloys' chest. He whipped the tears away with a handkerchief from his pocket and the blood from his chin.

He sighed and sniffed. Leaning against the books behind him, he made himself take a few deep breaths and after a while he got some control over himself.

Now that he had calmed down he felt a vibration in his pocket. He pulled out his phone and saw it was Ebony.

He frowned. After all that he did, everything that had happened, his sister was the only one that had been there for him through it all. She loved him unconditionally but he didn't deserve it.

He took another deep breath and answered the call.

"Yes?"

"I forgot to ask this earlier, but you're still coming to the birthday party, right? You manage to get out of it every year and leave me entertaining the stuffy nobles but this year you better-"

"Yes, sister, I will. I won't skip this time, I promise."

There was a long pause.

"Are you alright?"

Aloys rolled his eyes and laughed without humor. If she only knew.

"You've caught me in a sentimental mood, dear sister. But don't worry, I will be there. It's not every day a girl turns five hundred and-"

"Stop right there. I'm not a day older than five hundred, Aloys," Ebony interrupted. "But that's good. I will see you at the party. Time and place is the same as always. You should bring something for mother and father as well. It's been awhile since you've seen them."

"Don't push your luck," Aloys said and hung up.

He let his head fall back and clutched the phone in his hand.

How had things gone so wrong?

****

Later that night at Pandora

Kyousuke's POV

Aloys was quieter than usual as he nursed the drink Kyou made for him.

It made him wonder if it had to do with what he did earlier or if something had happened after he left.

He wrung his hands with nervousness and worry. Had he really made Al upset? He wanted to approach him but the vampire's aura seemed off and Kyou didn't want to start a fight.

All he could do was sigh and steel glances. He was so preoccupied that he didn't notice Ryker slide into the seat in front of him.

"Kyousuke?" The demon doctor asked with some concern. He dipped his head to catch the raven's eyes.

Kyou looked at him with surprise.

"Oh! Hello," he said with a blush. He rubbed the back of his neck and smiled with some embarrassment.

"Kyou!"

The voice that called his name was a familiar and one he hadn't heard in awhile.

"Mika?"

Kyou managed to catch a glimpse of his friend before he was pulled partially over the bar in a bear hug. He squeezed Kyou briefly before letting him go and sat back on his bar stool next to Ryker.

Kyou watched him for a long moment.

"What are you doing here? How'd you even know about this place? Do you know how dangerous coming here was?" The questions shot off one after the other.

Mika frowned. "Dude, I didn't come here alone." he said. That was when Kyou saw how close his friend was sitting next to Ryker.

He thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head.

Ryker was smiling shamelessly. "He is my companion tonight. Please know he is safe with me."

Before Kyou could say anything in response, Mika was in his line of sight again.  His eyes were slightly colder than they were a moment ago. Kyou knew what was coming.

"Kyousuke, I am very angry with you!" He said, and while his voice wasn't loud, Kyou could definitely hear the anger in it. "Where the hell have you been? The last time I saw you you were with two weird guys, then I find out you quit your job, your old place is being rented out, you don't answer your phone! Like, what the fuck, man?!"

Mika's hands were clenched in fists and his entire body was shaking.

"Do you know how worried I was?" He said, his voice breaking.

Kyou could normally ignore Mika's stupid lectures- they were always the same- but Kyou realized what a thoughtless jerk he had been.

Mika was the only person that still talked to him from the orphanage. Mika was five years older than him, and he was the closest thing Kyou had to a brother.

"I- I am sorry… Mika…" he responded quietly.

Mika adjusted his glasses and wiped his slightly unfocused eyes that were watery with unshed tears.

"Sorry's not gonna cut it this time, Kyousuke.I am still really hurt and angry. I finally got Dr. Keiran to show me where you were but it's at some demon bar full of scary looking dudes. Kyousuke, what the hell is going on with you? I know you've never confided in me much, but I thought we were close enough to not be treated like this! Do I really mean so little to you?"

Kyou felt like a scolded child. He really hadn't thought much of Mika these past weeks. The time had all blended in together and he realized it had been over a month and a half since he had first met Aloys. It felt like years and it was strange how quickly things had changed between him and the vampire since everything began.

He had forgotten about the few others in his life before all this.

"Mika… a lot has happened… I don't have an excuse except to say that adjusting has really been consuming my time. I really should have tried harder to call you, I know that now," he said. He looked around and saw some ears were trying to listen in. "Can we talk after my shift? I'll be off soon and then I'll explain everything, okay?"

Mika still looked pissed, but he nodded. "Alright, but you better not try to run away again. If you do, I'll be even more pissed off."

Kyousuke nodded eagerly. "Would you like a drink?"

He shook his head but Ryker cut in.

"Two beers, please."

The raven nodded and was soon back to the drafts. He placed them down.

Ryker took his and pushed the other to Mika.

"You promised me a date, my dear. Please accept it as a requirement of keeping your end of the bargain~"

Mika rolled his grey eyes and huffed but he took the beer and gulped it down.

Kyousuke was really curious to ask what the doctor meant but he kept his questions to himself. He realized with some irony that his curiosity about Mika had never been so strong but now he couldn't ask questions rather simply not wanting to.

He quickly got back to his job after some shouts for drinks, and it seemed every five minutes was an hour.

He almost forgot about Aloys. The vampire was by himself at a table.

"Hey, do you want another drink? We've got some blood in the back…"

Aloys nodded. "I guess. What does that damn doctor want with you?"

Kyou looked back at the man mentioned.

"He came with a friend of mine. Which, by the way, I need to talk to him after work. I don't know how long it will take but maybe you should head home and get some rest. I can find a ride home."

Kyou unconsciously brought a hand to Aloys' face to brush away some hair. He thought he saw Aloys flinch but he wasn't sure. He withdrew his touch but Aloys grabbed his wrist and held it in place for a moment before letting it go.

"That's alright. I'll be heading out now then."

Kyou nodded and smiled. He gave a small wave goodbye.

Aloys left without looking back.